Because to tell you the truth, readers, we’re not sure the word “idiot” is accurate any more. The tweets you’re about to read are far beyond simple stupidity and well into the shadowy realms of deliberate falsehood. (Delivered in the secure knowledge that the media won’t challenge it, and in fact will probably exaggerate and amplify it further.)
So let’s start with one of the better-known dum-dums.
That’s serial bonehead Jamie Greene there, demonstrating that he can’t count up to two, because what he evidently meant to write was “two pictures say eleven words”.
Alongside whisky, Irn-Bru is arguably THE iconic branded product of Scotland but now 120 years of history have just been casually crapped on and thrown aside in the name of the nanny state and corporate greed (aspartame is dirt-cheap compared to sugar, and Barr – having ruined Tizer, Red Kola and its other drinks the same way years ago – also wants to avoid the UK government’s sugar tax taking a bite out of its profits).
Let’s just shut down Holyrood, rebrand as North Britain and be done with it.
As readers who were once children will probably recall, papier-mache is a substance in which incredibly flimsy material – such as tissue paper or newspaper – is turned into something rather more hard and durable by dint of combining multiple layers of it with a simple flour-and-water solution.
What’s less well-known is that the process also happens IN newspapers.
For a case study, let’s look at this article in today’s Times.
20 years ago today, Scotland voted to have a Parliament for the first time in almost three centuries, by an overwhelming margin (although with modest enthusiasm – less than 10% more people actually voted for devolution than voted for independence in 2014, at 1.78m and 1.62m respectively).
Just 20 months after the vote the Parliament came into being, and Scotland’s media has been complaining about how useless it is ever since.
Today’s newspapers commemorate the anniversary by unleashing the full pontificating weight of the punditariat – most of whom have been opining wearily on Holyrood’s failings for the entire period – to bleat with their customary single voice about what a disappointment it’s all been.
The weird thing is that after all that time, none of them can actually explain why.
The Scottish Tories came under fire yesterday for a crass attempt by Scotland’s least-elected MSP (2,062-vote Annie Wells) to hijack World Suicide Prevention Day with a blog complaining that more people were being prescribed anti-depressants, which for many are an effective and life-saving solution.
Scottish Labour duly joined in by attacking mental health provision in Scotland despite it having significantly more NHS consultant psychiatrists per head than anywhere else in the UK. (One for every 10,000 people in Scotland, compared to 1 for every 12,500 in England and one for every 17,000 in Wales and Northern Ireland.)
But is there any explanation for why more people are suffering mental health issues?
So once again, Unionist politicians are bitterly castigating the Scottish Government for problems caused by UK government policy. It’s enough to drive you mad.
After a few months with no Scottish polling, today’s Sunday Times carries the results of a Panelbase one which, among other things, reinforces our oft-stated view that Scottish subsamples of UK-wide polls are completely meaningless.
While several of those have shown Labour or even the Tories in the lead, the full-size, properly-weighted poll still has the SNP a massive 14 points in front on 42%, with the Tories trailing behind on 28% and Labour in their now-customary third place at 22%.
Support for independence is also slightly down, with the numbers at 43-57, but it’s some other findings that are the eye-openers.
One of the handiest things for truth-seeking political commentators (admittedly a rare breed) is that the three component nations that make up Great Britain currently all have different parties in government, so it’s always possible to measure the rhetoric of the main parties against their actions in the bit they’re actually in charge of.
(The same is true for many other policies the Scottish Government has implemented to fight Tory austerity, like free university tuition and mitigating the bedroom tax.)
Here’s the doom-and-gloom front-page headline of the Herald today:
It refers to a new report from the Nuffield Trust called “Learning From NHS Scotland”. Its 61 pages contain precisely one mention of independence. Let’s see what it said.
We hadn’t been planning to talk any more about the curious case of Claire Austin, the suddenly publicity-shy Edinburgh nurse who – how can we put this? – seemed a rather ill-chosen figurehead for the good cause of getting more pay for a group of people who are rightly well-regarded by the public.
But yesterday, the release of a letter from Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale re-opened political hostilities after last week’s hiatus for the Manchester terror attack by shoving the now-reticent Ms Austin right back into the spotlight.
We had to rub our eyes when we got up this morning, because we thought we must have opened the wrong issue of the Times tablet app by mistake – the lead Scotland story seemed to be a reprint of a piece from the previous day’s Sunday Times.
Xaracen on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Stuart; “The Treaty was entered into without limitation of time and some articles express quite plainly that they were intended…” Jul 24, 22:27
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “For general info, here is a link to PROF ROBERT BLACK KC’s presentation about the UNION: Professor Robert Black KC…” Jul 24, 19:33
Stuart on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Xaracen. 2:14 How wrong can one man be? Well in your case very. Your argument (feeble though it is) re…” Jul 24, 18:43
Northcode on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “When their buttons and switches and knobs – and they have many – are pushed or flicked or twiddled… they…” Jul 24, 18:40
twathater on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@ Lorn you said “I believe implicitly, that those men who transgress the rules of normal, decent behaviour have a…” Jul 24, 18:14
Dan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@ Lorn at 4:15 pm It’s definitely okay to blame the Scots for the prevailing Union, and jist ignore things…” Jul 24, 18:02
Aidan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Dan – I mean the cost per MwH quoted as £150, Hinckley Point see originally struck at c.£85. Yeah I…” Jul 24, 17:59
twathater on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Oh there’s Bastard TAX MOAN back from his holidays in Is rahel, has he been updated on the plans to…” Jul 24, 17:56
Dan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Hmm… but when did pretty much anything built in the UK ever come in on proposed cost? HS2, a couple…” Jul 24, 17:30
Mark Beggan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “It’s been a busy week for the Eton rifles. “What a catalyst you turned out to be. Crashed your van…” Jul 24, 17:03
Mark Beggan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “The favourite rant from the Parasite Class; ” It’s good for the economy!” Who’s economy?” Jul 24, 16:55
Chas on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Rather than the readers ‘chipping in’ Andy, you could gift him some of yours!” Jul 24, 16:35
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “LABOUR MP CALLS GENDER-CRITICS ‘SWIVEL-EYED FANATICS’ A Labour MP has revealed his contempt for those who believe in the reality…” Jul 24, 16:32
Chas on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Alfie Boy can’t lose. Either we accept we are living in a colony. Or, if we don’t, it is proof…” Jul 24, 16:22
Lorn on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “I think that it is less that we are colonized than that we have allowed ourselves to be treated as…” Jul 24, 16:15
Lorn on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Young Lochinvar: no, decent men did not barge into female spaces in the past, and any who were indecent enough…” Jul 24, 16:06
Stuart on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Name checking your own homework does not count Professor Baird. Your narrative (feeble though it is) is inaccurate and clutching…” Jul 24, 16:06
Aidan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Who is “Scotland”, every single person in Scotland who has been polled on the subject, or a tiny bunch of…” Jul 24, 14:49
James on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““Aidan”; “I think we’ve all just got to face up to that fact…” Who’s “we”?” Jul 24, 14:32
James on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Good old “Aidan”, the true BritNat defender on every subject. Scotland doesn’t need (or want) nuclear, but hey, when did…” Jul 24, 14:15
Xaracen on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Stuart; We are talking of a union of two sovereign kingdoms, neither of which in 1706 owed any obeisance to…” Jul 24, 14:14
James on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Can you elucidate what these “fish” might be? England has been meddling in Scotland’s affairs for nigh on 1,000 years…” Jul 24, 14:01
Rob on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “The simple fact is that Scottish politicians have shown over the last 10 years that they are simply so incompetent…” Jul 24, 13:54
Aidan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “It’s a case against nuclear power, I don’t know where she got the numbers from re costs, they seem around…” Jul 24, 13:08
sarah on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Further to my comment at 11.18 a.m., coincidentally Gareth Wardell, Grouse Beater, has retweeted today the speech that he would…” Jul 24, 12:59
Mark Beggan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Put your colonial feet up on the colonial stool. Make some colonial tea and have some Corbyn and Sultana cake.” Jul 24, 12:40