There’s a Calvin And Hobbes cartoon we like to post on social media when someone’s got themselves in such a pickle that they’re just flailing around desperately firing off every slogan, argument or insult they can think of to get themselves out of it.
Many things about the session are disturbing, not least the incredibly one-sided nature of both the witnesses and the committee, none of whom seem to have even a token interest in challenging the claims of the witnesses, however absurd or contentious (eg that praying for someone is basically a form of torture).
The Scottish Government have just launched yet another nanny-state “healthy eating” intervention, and to be honest, readers, the cheap-shot open goals just queued up.
Our first instinct was to do a simple picture gallery of some of the insatiable pie-hounds squeezing their expenses-fed backsides onto the groaning, creaking benches and chairs of the Holyrood and Westminster parliaments, such as Kirsten “Elbows” Oswald (pictured above, slumped back under the sheer weight of her neck) – so known to other MPs because you get between her and a buffet at grave peril to your ribcage.
(And no, we’re not telling you which ones told us that.)
More than three months have passed since Alex Salmond launched a lawsuit against the Scottish Government for its grotesquely botched handling of false allegations of sexual misconduct against him.
With Scottish politics currently in a completely moribund state, as the party of government disintegrates shambolically and the main opposition party keeps its mouth shut and its head down in an attempt to not destroy its newfound and extremely fragile status as a credible alternative, one might imagine that the political media would be desperate for the case to get under way and provide them with some juicy content.
So it’s slightly surprising that none of them has noticed the latest development.
We’re reluctant to even mention the farcical, embarrassing goings-on in the House Of Commons last night, but the very short version is that the SNP somehow contrived to save Keir Starmer from an embarrassing mass rebellion of Labour MPs.
And in so far as anyone cared about them at all, the people of Gaza were the losers.
As the long-running police probe into SNP finances continues, Wings received some slightly surprising news today in the form of an FOI response.
Based on reports from various trustworthy sources we’d expected to hear that the police side of the investigation was by this point winding down somewhat, with most matters of fact already established, detectives assigned to other duties and the ball now largely in the court of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS).
Because we’re still more than two years out from the next Holyrood election, and it’s really hard to see how it’s going to pan out. So let’s throw some figures around.
This is so freaky I had to check they weren’t quoting each other. It’s like a game show.
Just a couple of nice well-brought-up Hutchesons’ Grammar boys in smart suits, there, thinking the same, speaking the same, saying the same, and angling for the same job. (Which one of them now has, and the other may have soon.)
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “They tried that with Team GB, went down like a Tranny in woman’s changing room.” Jun 15, 17:23
agentx on Response Level Upgrade: “After the Court decision today there should be an IMMEDIATE BAN ON GAY COUPLES adopting children.” Jun 15, 17:21
Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “Much as I have no interest in the rosbifs winning anything, I know a bit (too much) about english football;…” Jun 15, 17:10
Ebok on Response Level Upgrade: “Service Adviser 19(89)84(7)? SNP left me in 2016 and has done so to ever increasing numbers of its members since…” Jun 15, 16:47
Spartan 117 on Response Level Upgrade: “I also played midfield briefly in my 20s, for whatever relevance that is. I’ve nothing against Fitba’ and wish our…” Jun 15, 15:30
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “The “cup marks” the Picts left on their sacred and symbolic liths were pictorial representations of winning set piece tactics.…” Jun 15, 14:59
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “If you’re saying that Scottish culture consists of cash-strapped Scots scrimping and doing without to richly reward prima donnas, their…” Jun 15, 14:51
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “Good one, Northy. Football is like politics right enough. A zero sum game. One side is victorious, the other is…” Jun 15, 14:35
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: “How many years (and how many World Cups) is it since I twigged that your typical self-identifying Indy supporter would…” Jun 15, 14:27
Southernbystander on Response Level Upgrade: “The English stopped believing the England team are just an underachieving heavyweight long, long before 2014, like when the team…” Jun 15, 14:27
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: “Albert Einstein (yes, really) — played as a youth in Munich Einstein wasn’t a competitive player, but he did play…” Jun 15, 14:17
Hatey McHateface on Response Level Upgrade: ““The Scottish accent is the most trusted in the world” Of course, it can only be trusted where it is…” Jun 15, 14:14
Alf Baird on Response Level Upgrade: “All you folks seek to do is de-base Scottish culture. But we know, ‘that is how colonialism works, by de-basing…” Jun 15, 14:12
Captain Caveman on Response Level Upgrade: “Yawn. More verbose, witless, irrelevant drivel. My original comment stands. You bore me beyond belief.” Jun 15, 14:05
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: “Aye, Confused, there’s a fair bit of clutchery goes on in this place at times. This: “Football is a politico-philosophical…” Jun 15, 14:03
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “In the national Library of Scotland – “Forty years of Shite: The Complete and Utter Awfulness of the England Football…” Jun 15, 13:44
Northcode on Response Level Upgrade: ““Gah, you’re such a witless troll, Northcode…” Gah… the sound of an Anglo’s patience snapping like a twig (a point…” Jun 15, 13:30
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Response Level Upgrade: “Thanks, Cynicus. Greatly appreciated.” Jun 15, 13:11
Cynicus on Response Level Upgrade: “Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh says: 14 June, 2026 at 12:24 am If “even Homer sometimes nods” (recent exchange on Wings thread), then…” Jun 15, 12:43
Captain Caveman on Response Level Upgrade: “Gah, you’re such a witless troll, Northcode, you’re not even remotely good at it. Deliberately misquoting someone..? Lawks! Anyone would…” Jun 15, 12:41
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “Are Police Scotland guilty of misinformation? Deliberately and with intent to hide the truth.” Jun 15, 12:36
sam on Response Level Upgrade: “Scottish fans are more engaged than English fans. Scotland’s top-flight league having the highest attendance per capita in Europe at…” Jun 15, 12:33
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “A large number of heterosexual males gathered together scares the shit out of them.” Jun 15, 12:32
Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “oh aye – Albert Camus was a goalkeeper. as was Niels Bohr. morons.” Jun 15, 12:31
Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “one of the drawbacks of these times is an epidemic of a powerful mind virus – english-cunt-itis – to be…” Jun 15, 12:23
Confused on Response Level Upgrade: “I detect a lot of middle class handbag clutching going on; football is the dance of the working class, and…” Jun 15, 12:21
agentx on Response Level Upgrade: “Scotland (and their fans) are only at the World Cup because they are a colonised nation. Isn’t that how the…” Jun 15, 12:18
Mark Beggan on Response Level Upgrade: “There was a young man called Spartan. Who couldn’t understand what was happenin. With a rant and a rave He…” Jun 15, 12:13