Sometimes the UK media is so soul-crushingly moronic, readers, that it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning. Nevertheless, we’re pretty sure we haven’t nodded off and woken up in 2017, so today’s papers must be even more idiotic than usual.
Alert followers of our Twitter account will already know this, but we figured we better tell everyone else too. Wings now has a handy little app for Android mobile phones and tablets. Knocked up by a kind reader, it’s nothing more than the website with the addition of automatic notifications every time there’s a new post, so you need never miss an article. You can download it for free by clicking the image.
However, in the light of our wildly successful fundraiser, a more full-featured (but still free) app for both Android and iOS is now high on our priorities list. So we’d like to know what you’d want to see in it.
The Scottish Sun is around 80% the same newspaper as the English edition (with the bulk of the difference being accounted for by football coverage) so presumably the south-of-the-border version has a broadly similar view, right?
If we’re honest, readers, we almost never bother with BBC Scotland’s televised political coverage any more. We suspect the viewing figures for Scotland 2015 are down to fingers-and-toes territory now, and if last night’s edition – which we gritted our teeth and watched after noting the incredulous response on social media – is anything to go by, the state broadcaster is now using it to try out work-experience kids.
But we can cut fresh-faced new boy David Henderson (who suffered the indignity of being billed as Sarah Smith) a bit of slack for being outmanoeuvred by an experienced operator like Jim Murphy, who at one point in the show was actually interrogating the presenter rather than the other way round.
Kirsty Wark, regular anchor on the Corporation’s current-affairs flagship Newsnight, on the other hand, has no such excuses whatsoever.
When someone sent us a link last week to a picture of an Anas Sarwar election leaflet, we were immediately struck by the fact that it had the weird characteristic of being ostensibly handwritten but underlining every word in a sentence individually, which reminded us of one we’d seen from Douglas Alexander back in January.
So after a busy weekend of saving stray cats from going blind, we went to dig the two leaflets out, in the modest hope of getting a quick cheap joke about them both using the same fake-handwriting font. But instead we got a bit of a surprise.
This is how Scotland is seen in the largest part of the UK today. There’s nothing at all new about Scots being portrayed as “stealing” money rightfully belonging to England, of course, nor in the stereotype depicted by the Jimmy hat. It’s the word on the placard that tells the story: “immigrant”.
A lot of people this week quoted a line supposedly from the former Labour cabinet minister Roy Jenkins, which runs “a statement is only interesting if a sane man could say the opposite”. We haven’t been able to verify if he ever really said that or not, but it doesn’t really matter, because it’s true either way.
If you ask them on social media, Labour MPs and activists will all hotly deny that the party signed up to the Conservatives’ plan for £30bn of austerity cuts in the next five years. It’ll be interesting to see whether they try to continue doing so in the light of Ed Balls’ appearance on the Andrew Marr Show this morning.
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Beggars Oh dear.. Is that the sort of parties you go to? Never can tell with Tories eh.. You aren’t…” Apr 2, 03:00
Captain Caveman on Clocks And Calendars: “Oh do piss off mate. You claimed “400” innocent people were killed by the regime (like, as if this is…” Apr 1, 23:04
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Just put your car keys on the tray.” Apr 1, 22:36
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: ““Worst of all, we have fluffers and apologists for the worst, most murderous regimes on Earth, killing tens of thousands…” Apr 1, 22:20
James on Clocks And Calendars: ““…Just as well we aren’t part of it and we’ve got our own oil….” Oh, ma sides. Stop it!” Apr 1, 22:07
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “It’s bankers that are the parasite. Forever looking to back & bankroll the Next Empire in it forever wars to…” Apr 1, 22:05
Captain Caveman on Clocks And Calendars: ““Caveman (demoted to private): I read WoS with a degree of detachment but you never fail to impress me with…” Apr 1, 21:53
MaryB on Clocks And Calendars: “Tommy Sheridan’s been reported to the police for calling out USA and I*real. Is this because he’s standing as a…” Apr 1, 21:51
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “Cave dweller, Okay, I’ll gie yeh just wan the noo.. Willie McRae. Not only did this man shoot himself in…” Apr 1, 21:31
Jay on Clocks And Calendars: “Caveman (demoted to private): I read WoS with a degree of detachment but you never fail to impress me with…” Apr 1, 21:20
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “I dunno, the EU is detangling itself from the tech mafia & it’s vision of 24 hour surveillance & it’s…” Apr 1, 21:14
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Trump says I was right about everything.” Apr 1, 21:13
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “So Europa is to go and fight for their oil. I reckon the EU has 5 years left to exist.…” Apr 1, 21:11
Captain Caveman on Clocks And Calendars: ““Lolz, I’m finding it quite funny being a cave dweller.” It is! I’m mainly here for the shits and giggles.…” Apr 1, 21:04
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “1916 Ireland to 2026 Scotland. For starters the uprising in Dublin was a disaster. Half the Irish never turned up…” Apr 1, 21:02
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Nae Need, I think the next generation won’t be as daft – especially given world events over food & energy…” Apr 1, 20:42
Nae Need! on Clocks And Calendars: “Geri, You do make me laugh. Lolz, I’m finding it quite funny being a cave dweller. Now, just for shits…” Apr 1, 20:37
Captain Caveman on Clocks And Calendars: ““I see yer drooling in anticipation..” Um, hardly. It’s not like you have credible information to back up your outrageous,…” Apr 1, 20:31
Nae Need! on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I couldn’t agree more, Sarah. Of course its a false construct. It’s an absolutely, almost fantastical, ridiculous situation. But having…” Apr 1, 20:08
Nae Need! on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Holyrood is helping no one, Alan. I think I’ve reached my tolerance limits. my patience limits . . . get…” Apr 1, 20:00
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “4 subs; of which 2 are write offs, 1 is undergoing major surgery while 1 (the very very rusty one)…” Apr 1, 19:55
robertkknight on Clocks And Calendars: “As “basket cases” go I recon the UK has the EU beat, and well beat. As for the the Scottish…” Apr 1, 19:48
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““People must remember that Holyrood is a Colonial Administration… Scotland must gather 57 pro independence candidates, either party or standing…” Apr 1, 19:43
Nae Need! on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Geri, I understand all that, but it’s no gonna happen 😉 Not in our life times.” Apr 1, 19:35
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “Cave dweller, I see yer drooling in anticipation.. It’s delicious to watch.” Apr 1, 19:25