The deadwood stage
Posted on
April 18, 2015 by
Chris Cairns
The world's most-read Scottish politics website
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A tall tale
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Transphobia
The Deadwood stage, is really over the hill.
Whip them all away, whip them all away.
That’s brilliant Chris. Sums it up to a tee.
The best so far. Perfection.
The branch manager faces the decisive cut…
Timber!
Good work Chris.But we have to ask the Question.Why was the Labour Party,led by Mr Miliband down in London,so keen to have such an unpopular person as Jim Murphy in charge of its Scottish branch?
“I’m a lumberjack and I’m o-kay!”
Love it, Chris.
All very well, but what we really want to know is where’s he going to land!
Like Mealer above, I can’t help but question motive; why the branch position in the first place?
It might be fine from London’s perspective to see Murphy out on a limb and then cut off, but to have him end up in Holyrood (parachuted in on the list?) would be atrocious for Scottish politics!
£20Million is spent on Private Health care in NHS in Scotland out of £11.8Billion. To reduce waiting time. Before (SNP) the limit was 10%.
Well, when you go “out on a limb”you should be more careful.
That looks like a job for a fully qualified tree s(t)urgeon.
Boom! Boom!
Hang on Jim one last cut!
Ha. Treemendoss Chris.
Chris,
Nailed it, to the point.
Hate to be repetitive, but love your ‘artwork’
(Tells a story in itself)
Cheers…
[…] The deadwood stage […]
‘This last cut is for Scotland’
He still hasn’t twigged!
Getting rid of the dead wood eh? 🙂
Oh, oh, gulp!
Well done Chris, sums it all up nicely.
Nicola on the ground with a big chainsaw.
Perfect! Murphy is becoming a liability for the Labour party. Article in the Guardian yesterday warning that the if Labour do win less seats than the Tories but are still in a position to form a government the Tories will do everything they can to cast doubt on its legitimacy. And I think we all know who’s fault that would be!
Murphy will have to bough to the inevitable
Love the wee hand saw for a nice slow, agonizing cut. Just what Murphy deserves.
“Good work Chris.But we have to ask the Question.Why was the Labour Party,led by Mr Miliband down in London,so keen to have such an unpopular person as Jim Murphy in charge of its Scottish branch?”
Because he was a Westminster M.P and by Westminster logic he must be superior to any of the Scottish Labourites.
Prudently pruning perfidious political progeny.
@mealer 6:43
I believe labour were reverting to form and playing the sectarian card by appointing Murphy.
Their rationale would be something along the lines that the orange crowd fresh from voting no are not going to now vote SNP, so best to now win over the “Tims” in Glasgow (for remember Glasgow and it’s surrounds is all that matters to labour) by appointing a catholic.
Remember his original plan was to win back yes voters. To me that fits perfectly with what I’ve described above. They are a cynical lot labour.
Jim:Is this a dagger which I see before me?
Ed: Your way out on a limb, Jim, this is going to hurt you more than me. You should have known that the Branch office will take the hit for the sake of the tree.
Great cartoon!
Perhaps Murph will be doing the cutting himself. Seems like he is !
Ashcroft reckons he’s for the chop.
Root and branch politics
I expect Murphy to be sacked for the loss of Scotland. No Scottish constituency would risk selecting him, and no new leader of the Scottish branch, aware of his scheming ways would have him as a list member. Could be game over for Spud
Chris, this is a most apt depiction of Murphy’s position – cut off from reality.
Anyone remember this from the days immediately following Murphy’s appointment as branch manager?
And he has made clear he will not be pushed around, saying during his campaign: “No-one will tell me what to do if I’m Scottish Labour party leader” and adding: “Scottish Labour party decisions will be made in Scotland.”
On one occasion, when asked if his call for Holyrood to have full income tax powers had been run by Mr Miliband and shadow chancellor Ed Balls beforehand, Mr Murphy said they could “read it in the papers like everyone else”.
The rest of the creepy story can be read here:
link to bbc.co.uk
Very clever. Looks like he isn’t managing his branch so well.
Chris as sharp and incisive as ever !
Watched ‘Animal farm’ this morning on State Broadcaster2 TV. Surprising just how apt this striking visual image of downtrodden and betrayed animals still transfers over, for Scotlands relationship with Labour North and hopefully its demise once and for all.
The most spot-on political cartoon since ‘Punch’ did ‘Dropping the Pilot’ when the German Kaiser sacked Bismarck, his Iron Chancellor.
Looks like Murphy’s drop is going to be a bit more painful though!
Absolutely brilliant!
brilliant Chris, er, very sharp!
“And a cry of timber! rang out though the crowd.”
He could be sawing off the bough himself – it still works.
Excellent…”JIMBER”
East Renfrewshire voters need to complete the job now!
Yes, Labour Main Branch needs a root and branch review!
Jim must be able to see the wood for the trees now. 😀
O/T
Tweet from alan cochrane..
“Surely Highlanders won’t reject Danny A as their man at the Treasury – in favour of a little Scotlander who wants to smash Britain.”
After Labour North – its onto the D Record
After the crap relating to the Scottish press awards (?)-
May 8th must be the commencement of a serious campaign to get rid of the D Record.
While your up there out on that limb Jim youll have a good view of whats coming over the hill,
And it aint the calvalry pilgrim,
Hold onto your thatch Jim your about to get scalped and your megaphone wont save you!
Welcome return Chris, another belter. If the polls are right the number of Labour MPs will be so greatly reduced the leader of Labour Party in Scotland will be downgraded from Branch Manager to Twig manager.
I saw part of Jim’s manifesto speech from yesterday and he really doesn’t understand the change that is happening, he is living in the past with tired and outdated ideas and rhetoric.
“brilliant Chris, er, very sharp!”
I SAW it first.
ah’ll eh, get ma checked jacket.
Nice work Chris.Right down to the brown shoes and the double crown in Murphy’s napper.
I see Murphy is all over Twitter saying how easy it has been to outwit the Scot Nats
Either he is even more delusional than I thought,or has he seen the postal votes a la Ruth ?
Hopefully its just my tiny paranoid,separatist,insurgent Nazi mind playing tricks on me again.
Nice one Chris, love the wee ‘cut here’ line for that twat Ed in case he makes an arse of it
YES Chris. Upto date toon and showing the hopelessness of Slab.
Dim Jim indeed 🙂
Wonder if Jim saw that coming?
Bravo.
Scotland tells Jim to get knotted.
How much deadwood can a woodChukka chukka!
I knew Ed was a rightie!
Now can we get one of AlexThomson. A Labour manifesto and a wee Glesga lassie…could be physical comedy gold and XXX rated.
Just a thought –
Has anyone done a poll of postal voters only in Scotland to test the trend ?
Cracking,…..
Can anyone tell me why the Scottish Tories and Scottish labour have their own manifesto for a Westminster election?????
I’m just not getting it.
I had a very bad night, couldn’t sleep, got up feeling sore & sorry for myself. Turned on the computer and haven’t stopped laughing since. That ‘toon is more effective than the usual dose of painkiller and fresh ground coffee.
@morgatron says: 18 April, 2015 at 6:32 am:
“Timber!” Aye! Morgatron an that’s jist his heid.
Hmmm! seems that the sap has migrated to the outside of the bark.
Great Toon Chris
The branch is recycleable oanybody goat ah Chipper machine. Murphs nay use tae labour efter May, might as weil feed him tae the CHIPPER machine as weil.
Whole Tree is next.
@Bob Mack says: 18 April, 2015 at 7:15 am:
“Well, when you go “out on a limb”you should be more careful.”
And as a, “Branch Office”, you are, “out on a limb”, and somewhat, “Cut off”, from head office, often first in line when Head office has to make, “Cut-backs”, and, “Prune”, running costs. I have to say I, “saw”, it coming.
I’ll get my jaikit.
Seriously, the Daily Record declaring itself as ‘even handed’.
Everyone including them knows they are just a bunch of piss takers, who’s days are numbered.
Veni ,vidi, cecidi.
(I came,I saw,I fell)
Bit of latin from school.
Practical demonstration of the difference between a ‘cut’ and a ‘saving’ for a man who does not know the difference.
[…] Visit the post for more. […]
Milliband, no safety gear! Typical one law for them and another for us 🙂
Gosh we’ve missed you, Chris. With all that money we put up, he didn’t even use the Lowry chap in your absence. Cheapskate.
The ladder is not lashed to the tree to prevent accidental falls. Nor is the branch lashed so as to prevent the falling branch doing further damage. These guys don’t know what they are doing.
Bob Mack @ 10.15
Perhaps keep the alliteration of the original with:
Veni, Vidi Volnus
Volnus: cut, disaster, loss. Pretty well covers all the bases.
lol good one Chris
@Wulls could it be they want to look important when the reality is they are not and are just pawns inside their own party,and we have 3 of them sitting in the Scottish parliament pretending to be party leaders, we will have to do something about that in 2016 😉
an the labour lies are thickern porcupine quills
Is that a Scots pine?
Er.. no, Redwood..!
Deadwood he is, but is he dead-meat or just in a dead end. Can’t see a future for him.
Dim Jim goes out on a limb.
🙂
Haha, great toon! Loving all the puns, guys! I’m imagining a little party of SNP down at the bottom hacking away.
IT
Great article in The Telegraph by a chap called Moore saying Nicola is executing a RTO, reverse take over, and she is so competent, she should give up independence stuff, and come to London! Seriously!
If you zoom in on his left hand Chris has shown the indication of 6 fingers
Is that something sinister or just homage to the Dark Lord
which is probably less nasty
All the Sith have this though don’t they?
Shoulda used a light sabre
Soon to be Labour’s Family tree missing 9th Legion branch, oh how the mighty will have fallen.
Midgehunter 10.37
Ouch! That was wicked of you.I’m getting visions of John Redwood pretending to sing the Welsh national anthem.Theres not much Jim and John disagree on.
I imagine there are a lot of Labour MSPs offering to hold the ladder.
O/T
What a hoot!
The Herald has obviously been away somewhere and suddenly wakened up.
Today’s editorial headline.
“Major challenge for Scottish Labour”
Really?
The Herald has abandoned all respect over the past year.
Not because it supported the union.
Not because it has a particular political view which it is entitled to have.
But because it has continually insulted the intelligence of those they would seek to inform.
@legerwood
Indeed.Unfortunately my memory would not allow for the connection.
This got me thinking what Jim could do next and worryingly with his Armed Deal junket connections, Dermot Desmond may have him lined up as a possible Celtic FC chairman in waiting like John “Airport Screening Tech contacts” before him.
Please god no.
Slight correction Chris..if it was a true Labour saw I expect it would have no teeth
C’mon Ed, get on wi it.
Chop chop.
@valerie
Miliband should be aware that he is in the same tree that the little party of SNP are furiously sawing at the base ,never mind the branch Two for the price of one!!
Mild mannered gent Sir Malcolm Bruce on the radio this morning … his reasonable and measured tones remind me of this from Donald Urquhart a few days ago.
I think all candidates north and south of the border should be explaining their (or their predecessor’s) actions.
—————————–
LIB DEM NEWS…
Attempts to make witnesses exempt from the Official Secrets Act, should they give evidence to Child Sex Abuse Enquiry, was voted down in Westminster recently.
Under the Official Secrets Act, any witnesses could have their pensions frozen or removed, which will greatly lessen the chances of witnesses coming forward.
You good folks in Orkney and Shetland might want to ask CARMICHAEL why he voted against the amendment, which offered protection to potential witnesses…
link to exaronews.com
Loved the cartoon Chris, Spud down to a tee. I expect that we were the only ones watching Sky News, which come next weekend will not be missed but according to the Metrocentral chappie we are stealing Danny Alexander’s seat. Funny I though in a Democracy that was up to the people here who sat in the various seats. You will also be surprised to hear that all these experienced politicians like SMurgphy and The Alexander non Brothers will be replaced by amateurs in the form of untried Politicians. Well again is that not what Democracy is about and good god experienced, Dougie is always in charge of Labour’s election Strategy and fails every time. The other one is an even bigger failure who cannot see that his Party has acted as the toady and the sponge for every disastrous policy of the Tories.
I think this latest set of Ashcroft polls have pushed a number of papers blinking into the sunlight of reality.
The Wail is in anti-Nicola hyper-drive and the Herald is all Oh Oh there is a problem here. With only 19 days to go (and only 18 to actually campaign) the heat is on.
Tree-totaller!
Thanks to one and all.
Just a wee plug – if you’re at a loose end in Glasgow tomorrow lunchtime I’m in an Aye Write / Scottish PEN event at the Mitchell Library (tickets from either of those websites). Along with such luminaries as Aamer Anwar, I’ll be discussing freedom of speech in the wake of the Charlie Hebdo shootings.
I’ll be leaving all the heavy stuff to the other panelists of course but if you want to hear about my favourite pencil and how I taught Greg Moodie all he knows, then do come along.
Cheers 😀
“Whip crack away” – Calamity Jim.
Still a little puzzled, as others are, over the decision to encourage Jim to run for branch operative. After the 19th the ‘Scotch’ would revert to type and vote Labour whoever was running and WM would continue business as normal?
These blinkered and ignorant elements are vividly displayed by those whose only tenuous grasp of Scottish reality is based on their condescending past. They cannot conceive of a future other than more of the same in which most of them are now irretrievably incriminated. Little wonder they are worried what a substantial block of SNP MPs may uncover in the interests of both Scotland and the rest of the UK.
@ Clarinda
I think that the powers that be within the labour party honestly believe that their nulabour policies are popular. If they do it follows that their analysis of labour’s failure in Scotland was due to the fact that the Scottish party was too left wing (remember that “left wing” no longer means what you think it means as evidenced by Danny Alexander’s characterisation of NS, LW, NB and EM as “extremists” after the last debate) and its MP’s “second rate”. Therefore they convinced themselves that what Scottish Labour needed was a leader who is talented enough to make it in the big boys’ playground, and who was fully committed to the Blairite project. Scots would quickly fall in line once that was in place. Ed Milliband’s faith in the importance of leaders was amply summed up in his closing statement in the debate: he thinks it is all about charisma and nothing really to do with policy. Very american notion, but no surprise there.
They couldn’t be more wrong. But if your analysis is wrong your response will be wrong, and here we are
Finally: We don’t want to be lumbered with Dim Jim.
See saw Margery Daw,
Slabber shall have a new master,
Slabber shall earn but a vote per day,
Because Jim cannae work any smarter.
🙂
Bob Mack @ 10.58
My memory of the far off days of Latin classes is probably the same as yours. Then I remembered Google 🙂
That’s brilliant Chris!
HandandShrimp @ 11.12
I thought it was interesting that the Herald did not have the ‘Scottish’ Labour manifesto launch all over its front page today. You have to look inside for any coverage of it and even then it is not unduly prominent among the other political stories.
@Clarinda 11:35 am
I think there were a couple of factors in the decision
Ed Milliband wanted to steer the party away from Blairism and saw Murphy as a loudmouth loose cannon, at the same time recognising that Murphy’s ambition and undoubted energy needed an ‘outlet’. What better way of killing two birds with one stone than to send him northwards where he could strut about as ‘leader’ to his heart’s content in a job that required the minimum of work, being an area of the blind faithful.
Meanwhile Jim, realising that his self-serving ambition was about to hit a large buffer in the new non-Blairite party, accepted this role and turned from an ever-shrinking fish in a big pond to the biggest fish, albeit in a smaller pond. It didn’t matter so much either way – for Murphy, so long as the money’s right, that’s all that matters.
So, issue resolved all round – or so they thought. The one factor I haven’t mentioned, because it didn’t cross their minds, was the voting public. Labour’s ‘property’ – like old, worn but still useful furniture – and you don’t talk to furniture, do you?
But now the erstwhile party faithful, ‘the flock’, have found a voice, and it’s saying “B-A-A-A-D Labour.”
Said before there should be some form of STV for the list votes. If people want to pick Murphy as their first choice then so be it.
Also whilst we’re on a PR kick, I’d rather vote SNP at the risk of a Conservative or LD getting in. We’ve already got hints from the LDs that they’ll consider the number of votes cast against the seats won when making their minds up, assuming they get more than one offer, who to join. In addition we’ll get UKIP moaning about their level of support. If anything we need to be aiming for as many 50s as possible.
50% of the seats,
50 seats,
50% of the votes cast
50% of the electorate.
Very ambitious I know and we might not make all of them then. If we don’t vote SNP and are tempted to vote tactically then we certainly won’t.
That’s not going to end well as neither James Mulligatawny(?) nor his boss Ed (no sniggering in the cheap seats), appear to understand the Scottish laws of physics. That being, the only way is down once you openly support the Tories. Even the covert stuff, such as not turning up to vote against further austerity cuts, is enough to cause a downwards trajectory. 🙂
Sort of OT. Did someone mention lumberjacks?
Dropping a tree between 2 buildings, this can’t go well
link to youtube.com
Legerwood says:
18 April, 2015 at 10:31 am
Bob Mack @ 10.15
Perhaps keep the alliteration of the original with:
Veni, Vidi Volnus
Brilliant.
Even Chris’s cartoon prefigures you. It’s the volrus and the carpenter.
My coat? How kind.
How to spoil an off the cuff verbal joke: spell it wrong.
The VOLNUS and the carpenter.
I thank you.
Sooz @ 2.45
Knowing me and my tenuous grasp of Latin tenses I have probably got the wrong ending on the word but like your take on it.
Slab Epitaph
Aligned with Tory’s, in cahoots
Dead men walking, in their boots
THE END