To be honest, folks, we’re not quite sure what to do with ourselves at the moment.
Everyone and his wee dug is writing election-aftermath columns and offering the SNP advice of varying intelligence and solemnity about how to recover from the shattering blow they’ve just been dealt by Scottish voters.
But it’s a pointless exercise. They may as well be yelling down a manhole.
The Scottish Greens, in a feat of remarkable hubris and financial profligacy, stood 44 candidates in this week’s general election, knowing that most of them would lose their deposits, which they duly did.
But not quite all of them. And there the comedy arose.
Because while SNP boneheads on social media are raging idiotically at Alba, Wings and others for causing division and damaging the unity of the indy cause yada yada yada, a small handful of Green candidates made a real difference.
The 2005 election was the last time the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun both endorsed the same party at a UK general election. So, y’know, something is going on.
Survation released their final projection for the election last night. It’s quite a boring image because they had to make it mostly grey to correctly illustrate the margin of Labour’s lead.
Those ranges are substantial, but even their BEST-case scenario for the Tories is below 100 seats. The WORST-case scenario for Labour – 447 seats – still gives them a majority of 244, which would smash the all-time record of 209 set by the Tories exactly 100 years ago. (The best case is a dizzying 384.)
Scotland is probably the hardest area of the UK to call. In most polls there are only a few points between Labour and the SNP, and depending on how the votes are spread and who’s best at getting their support out either could still win the most seats.
That won’t, of course, make the slightest difference to the governance of the UK for the next five years. Even 57 Scottish MPs out of 57, for any party, would be completely meaningless to a government with a majority of over 200.
But it’ll make a big difference to the independence movement. Because if the SNP manages to hold onto to a significant proportion of its seats, we can all wave goodbye to the slightest chance of progress for another decade on top of the one that’s been wasted since Alex Salmond resigned.
In the modern political world, you don’t get anywhere without a movement, and movements don’t get anywhere without a flag. So we’ve decided it’s time to take action and stand up for a very large group of people who are genuinely discriminated against and significantly disadvantaged in our society.
Here’s their symbol.
Today is July 1st, and we officially, on behalf of all our oppressed kinfolk, declare this to be People Who Aren’t Eligible For A Railcard Pride Month.
I was going to write this article yesterday, but 2024’s miserable damp squib of a summer unexpectedly delivered a beautiful day – a perfect 20C of unbroken sunshine with a refreshing slight breeze – so I went for a nice walk instead.
Rather than my usual bird-feeding and bear-patrolling beat along the river and canal, I headed off on what used to be my standard summer stroll: up the long steep hill to Beckford’s Tower and its associated cemetery with stunning views over the city.
I’ll scatter a few pics from the walk throughout this feature, as otherwise I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit depressing and angering.
There are now just 10 days until the general election. Wings has never told its readers how to vote and we’re not going to start now. Which is lucky, because if we were, we wouldn’t have a clue how to.
Just, y’know, not for any of these wretched, worthless shiters.
Ryan on Search And Replace: “Peter Murrell is a total dafty but to get 5 years for that and some get off with less for…” Jul 5, 15:44
Mark Beggan on Narrowing the options: “If I took this pish as serious as you do then I would be out there with my rubble flag…” Jul 5, 15:25
Xaracen on Narrowing the options: ““It goes without saying that none of these nonsensical alternative law doctrines enjoy any support or recognition by any authority…” Jul 5, 15:08
Hatey McHateface on Narrowing the options: ““Far more sensible people than you very likely will be convinced” Far more sensible people and far less sensible people…” Jul 5, 13:51
Hatey McHateface on Narrowing the options: “Thanks for clearing that up, Anthem. I get it. The case for Indy is so open and shut that you…” Jul 5, 13:37
Captain Caveman on Narrowing the options: “Good grief, you must be bored and very bitter, Fatso. It’s not all about how much more “free” stuff you…” Jul 5, 12:45
James on Narrowing the options: “They must actually think that the Scotch zip up the back of the heid. Why let the facts, plain for…” Jul 5, 12:22
agentx on Narrowing the options: ““Police are investigating claims £1.5million went missing from the accounts of the 2014 Yes campaign. The organisation had close links…” Jul 5, 11:32
Aidan on Narrowing the options: ““Xaracen says: 5 July, 2026 at 10:28 am And what on earth makes you think that we can’t build a…” Jul 5, 11:31
Aidan on Narrowing the options: “There are people in England who claim that due to their own interpretation of Magna Carta, that whole swathes of…” Jul 5, 11:27
Xaracen on Narrowing the options: “And what on earth makes you think that we can’t build a case around Alf’s stated theft of £150+Billion per…” Jul 5, 10:28
Xaracen on Narrowing the options: “But that ‘reality’ is unlawful and unconstitutional precisely because of those ‘musty 300 YO documents’, Hatey. Even merry old England…” Jul 5, 10:10
Hatey McHateface on Narrowing the options: “As I’ve just said to Xaracen, beats me how you can’t leverage that claim, if it’s true, into a slam…” Jul 5, 09:54
lothianlad on Narrowing the options: “Glad the Scottish establishment is being held to account.” Jul 5, 09:52
DavidT on Narrowing the options: “Operation Branchform uncovered embezzlement but was primarily an investigation into fundraising fraud following a complaint about the handling of a £667,000 ring-fenced…” Jul 5, 09:38
Hatey McHateface on Narrowing the options: “Not compelling. Not persuasive. Not practical. Not aligned with reality. Find something else. For example, Alf’s claim that Scotland loses…” Jul 5, 09:36
Alf Baird on Narrowing the options: “Aye Hatey, they are well worth their £2 billion budget for “those who are working for the security services” to…” Jul 5, 09:29
Xaracen on Narrowing the options: ““I’m struggling to identify a single SNP MSP or MP who I would trust to organise a piss-up in a…” Jul 5, 08:47
Xaracen on Narrowing the options: “James, it wouldn’t matter even if Article XVIII (and/or the Tenor attached to Article XXV by the Scottish parliament) didn’t…” Jul 5, 08:42
Hatey McHateface on Narrowing the options: “@Andy Wasn’t it Elkins who proved that in a colony, everybody not working for the security services actually is? Plus,…” Jul 4, 23:18
Hatey McHateface on Narrowing the options: “One thing you may have missed is the recent call by one of the more outspoken spokesmen for the religion…” Jul 4, 23:05
sam on Narrowing the options: “Caveman’s a fool. Knows nothing about the case. Opens his gub with nothing to say.” Jul 4, 21:46
Captain Caveman on Narrowing the options: “Sam is a pronouns kinda guy.” Jul 4, 21:22
Andy Wiltshire on Narrowing the options: “That’s just what you would say if you were working for MI6, which I think we can all agree proves…” Jul 4, 21:09
Hatey McHateface on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: ““Colonialism eventually eats itself” Care to put a date on that, Alf? Currently, you’re claiming colonialism is eating us to…” Jul 4, 19:55
Insider on Narrowing the options: ““James” Che… Have your carers walked out on strike and left you alone with the computer ?” Jul 4, 19:53
Doddsotheglen on Tuning In The Shine: “Apart from talking down Scotland and Scotgov and SNP the BBC in Scotland is very controlling of it’s journalists and…” Jul 4, 19:40