Okay, so we’ve tried everything. We’ve read all the papers, we’ve been through all the emails, and we’ve even gone out for a walk, which usually never fails to trigger some cataclysmic political upheaval or animal-sex scandal.
As spectacular and mindboggling as some of the coverage undeniably is – most notably Alex Massie’s barking-mad, lie-filled howlatribe “J.K. Rowling and her heroic attack on the wicked cybernats” (whose title, remarkably, does not appear to be ironic) in ultra-right-wing loonzine CapX – even we’re fed up of reading people going on about us, so to pass the time we’re going to do something else instead.
We weren’t going to take Professor Adam Tomkins’ hysterical “NATMAGEDDON!” article for this week’s Spectator seriously enough to pull it apart line by line.
But once we’d wiped the tears from our eyes we thought we’d better do our job.
The comedy “obnoxious Tory” stereotype/respected BBC pundit (delete as applicable) Adam Tomkins has a dramatic opinion piece in the Spectator this week, which also commands the magazine’s front cover.
It’s a handy one-stop compilation of some of the most comprehensively-debunked Unionist myths and lies of the past couple of years, livened up for readers with some standard-issue wild-eyed frothing lunacy shrieking about one-party states, “Orwellian” dictatorships, the evil Nats are coming for your children, blah blah etc.
If we were to pull up every absurdly laughable line we’d be here all day, and nobody reads 5000-word articles, so we’re going to restrict ourselves to a single example.
Today’s Herald reveals that the new Labour leader of Glasgow City Council, Frank McAveety (who was last seen in the headlines leering at a 15-year-old girl visiting the Scottish Parliament), has hired Bob Wylie as a special adviser.
Wylie was communications director of the scandal-riddled Strathclyde Partnership for Transport (SPT), which readers may recall from last year’s banning of an advertising campaign for this site on the city’s Underground after receiving one complaint about it.
But he’s somewhat more famous for his part in an expenses junket which saw several of the quango’s senior management bill taxpayers for a 2008 “fact-finding” mission to Manchester whose timing just happened to coincide with the UEFA Cup final between Rangers and Zenit St Petersburg being played in the same city.
Wylie’s appointment follows the controversy which arose when Labour gave convicted drunken arsonist Mike Watson a job as education spokesman in Jeremy Corbyn’s shadow cabinet. And the two hirings threw some light on a thought we’d been thinking since reading a Kevin McKenna column in last weekend’s Observer.
As readers may have noticed, it’s been an extremely slow news week this week. The papers, having strung out the Michelle Thomson “crisis” beyond all endurance, have been reduced (in the case of today’s Daily Mail) to printing shock-horror pictures of her still sitting beside SNP MPs in the Commons, so little else is there to report.
(As far as we’re aware the Commons doesn’t have an official naughty step, so even if Thomson HAD been found guilty of doing anything wrong she’d have had to sit on the opposition benches just the same.)
But it seems the dastardly Nats have been getting up to something even worse than associating with a (currently) former colleague.
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Love Of Big Brother: “EQUALITY WATCHDOG CHIEF DEMOLISHES MYTHS ABOUT SINGLE-SEX GUIDANCE The Chairwoman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) has dismissed…” Oct 7, 14:43
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Yet another spectacular pic in the MSM this morning. An oil tanker ablaze on the Black Sea. If the sea…” Oct 7, 10:04
Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “Yup, seems totally legit, Hatey. Silly me. Who could doubt it, given such extensive, compelling evidence, watertight arguments and citation…” Oct 7, 10:01
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Guardian of the people. Lord protector. Supreme leader. Head of state. There’s always one. All the arguments, and wars, ultimately…” Oct 7, 09:38
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: “@CC 9:04 You’re misrepresenting what’s being claimed. It’s for everybody, not just those of working age. And it’s not just…” Oct 7, 09:24
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: “Superb copying and pasting there, James. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen better. Let me know which words, ideas and…” Oct 7, 09:13
Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “Imagine believing that the mere act of gaining independence (method TBC) you would, overnight, magic up an EXTRA £60,000 per…” Oct 7, 09:04
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on There May Be Justice: “Transcription of part of Q&A exchange translated into English by app… QUESTION FROM AUDIENCE: You’ve spoken again about the Lieutenant…” Oct 7, 01:48
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on There May Be Justice: “PAUL ST-PIERRE PLAMANDON du PARTI QUÉBÉCOIS (PQ) présente ses priorités | Élections Québec 2026 « Le Parti québécois (PQ) a…” Oct 6, 23:58
willie on There May Be Justice: “Ah so this will be why the Standards Commission destroyed all the case records. In the light of Lord Sandison’s…” Oct 6, 21:44
James on The Love Of Big Brother: ““Humiliated and defeated”. LOLZ, aye that’s right, Adrian ya clown. And here’s your wee ubiquitous pal arrived, Adrian. All day,…” Oct 6, 21:32
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “You make it sound like you’re gonna be depriving “them” of some invincible, merciless, super-fit, highly efficient, killing machine. Somehoo…” Oct 6, 20:12
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: “Ye cannae whack a guid wang oan an oan aboot some cant who’s never coming back (Thatcher) and some dosh…” Oct 6, 20:06
Aidan on The Love Of Big Brother: “A common tactic of people like yourself, get totally humiliated and defeated on one subject and rather than admit your…” Oct 6, 19:47
James on The Love Of Big Brother: “So, “naw it disnae” then. LOL. Here’s yin for you and yer Tory bedfellows. “After £100 billion has finally been…” Oct 6, 19:17
Aidan on The Love Of Big Brother: “lol 2/10 – managed to copy and paste some relevant material, so let’s look closer: “Scotland appears to fall into…” Oct 6, 18:20
James on The Love Of Big Brother: “That would make you clowns repetetive, abusive Unionist trolls then, aye? Unsurprising then,that an eminent Scottish KC, and others much…” Oct 6, 17:37
Aidan on The Love Of Big Brother: “Now this is really gets hard because we have two opposing views, the first which I’ve copied below is written…” Oct 6, 16:37
James on The Love Of Big Brother: “Soubds good but it’s not right….. In fact it doesn’t even sound good. Must try harder, “troops”.” Oct 6, 15:50
Marie on There May Be Justice: “Correct. I’ve not long finished reading Dr Jim Swire’s book on Lockerbie and his efforts to seek justice for the…” Oct 6, 15:27
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: ““having hoovered up our votes” Zat so, James? More fool you then.” Oct 6, 15:04
Aidan on The Love Of Big Brother: “@Alf – even if we took your somewhat suspect view of a foreign military occupation in the 1700’s (rather than,…” Oct 6, 14:55
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Professor Baird demonstrating correct use of the royal “we” there. I’ve noticed its increasing use by many, these days. Always…” Oct 6, 14:31
James on The Love Of Big Brother: “Adrian wouldn’t know a fact if it punched him in the face, chum. Who are you anyway, his carer? “Their…” Oct 6, 14:27
Alf Baird on The Love Of Big Brother: ““outside of a military occupation or colonialism (neither of which apply in Scotland)” Who told you this, colonial history books?…” Oct 6, 14:25
Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “Let’s put it this way, if he was any thicker he’d need watering twice a week.” Oct 6, 14:23
Insider on The Love Of Big Brother: “James @12:41 James, Are you REALLY that thick you can’t understand understand what Aidan explained quite clearly ?” Oct 6, 14:09
James on The Love Of Big Brother: “So, Adrian; “The right to self-determination is indeed universal and inalienable…” Except for Scotland. Need the crossword clue again, brains?” Oct 6, 12:41
Alf Baird on There May Be Justice: ““No judiciary or legal establishment has ever been about justice for the plebs” Valid point, Angus. However the reality might…” Oct 6, 11:58
