Okay, so we’ve tried everything. We’ve read all the papers, we’ve been through all the emails, and we’ve even gone out for a walk, which usually never fails to trigger some cataclysmic political upheaval or animal-sex scandal.
As spectacular and mindboggling as some of the coverage undeniably is – most notably Alex Massie’s barking-mad, lie-filled howlatribe “J.K. Rowling and her heroic attack on the wicked cybernats” (whose title, remarkably, does not appear to be ironic) in ultra-right-wing loonzine CapX – even we’re fed up of reading people going on about us, so to pass the time we’re going to do something else instead.
We weren’t going to take Professor Adam Tomkins’ hysterical “NATMAGEDDON!” article for this week’s Spectator seriously enough to pull it apart line by line.
But once we’d wiped the tears from our eyes we thought we’d better do our job.
The comedy “obnoxious Tory” stereotype/respected BBC pundit (delete as applicable) Adam Tomkins has a dramatic opinion piece in the Spectator this week, which also commands the magazine’s front cover.
It’s a handy one-stop compilation of some of the most comprehensively-debunked Unionist myths and lies of the past couple of years, livened up for readers with some standard-issue wild-eyed frothing lunacy shrieking about one-party states, “Orwellian” dictatorships, the evil Nats are coming for your children, blah blah etc.
If we were to pull up every absurdly laughable line we’d be here all day, and nobody reads 5000-word articles, so we’re going to restrict ourselves to a single example.
Today’s Herald reveals that the new Labour leader of Glasgow City Council, Frank McAveety (who was last seen in the headlines leering at a 15-year-old girl visiting the Scottish Parliament), has hired Bob Wylie as a special adviser.
Wylie was communications director of the scandal-riddled Strathclyde Partnership for Transport (SPT), which readers may recall from last year’s banning of an advertising campaign for this site on the city’s Underground after receiving one complaint about it.
But he’s somewhat more famous for his part in an expenses junket which saw several of the quango’s senior management bill taxpayers for a 2008 “fact-finding” mission to Manchester whose timing just happened to coincide with the UEFA Cup final between Rangers and Zenit St Petersburg being played in the same city.
Wylie’s appointment follows the controversy which arose when Labour gave convicted drunken arsonist Mike Watson a job as education spokesman in Jeremy Corbyn’s shadow cabinet. And the two hirings threw some light on a thought we’d been thinking since reading a Kevin McKenna column in last weekend’s Observer.
As readers may have noticed, it’s been an extremely slow news week this week. The papers, having strung out the Michelle Thomson “crisis” beyond all endurance, have been reduced (in the case of today’s Daily Mail) to printing shock-horror pictures of her still sitting beside SNP MPs in the Commons, so little else is there to report.
(As far as we’re aware the Commons doesn’t have an official naughty step, so even if Thomson HAD been found guilty of doing anything wrong she’d have had to sit on the opposition benches just the same.)
But it seems the dastardly Nats have been getting up to something even worse than associating with a (currently) former colleague.
Alf Baird on The Plague: “On the contrary, Hatey, colonial state security services and its numerous ‘confidential agents’ afforded immunity are behind all ‘the repressions…” Aug 5, 10:47
Northcode on The Plague: “Ultimately, this unwelcome situation comes down to Scotland being colonised. And if you can’t see why that is then you…” Aug 5, 10:11
Frank Gillougley on The Plague: “I dunno. I know nothing other than truth is often stranger than fiction. Art imitating life and life imitating art…” Aug 5, 10:01
Onlokker on Or Something: “Anybody else enjoying the wee nutcase Sturgeon noising the SNP and Swinney up? Burning all bridges, and nobody likes her,…” Aug 5, 09:50
Grace Green on The Plague: “In my more than forty years’ experience of persecution for being vaccine injured, when things happen out-of-hours – letters sent…” Aug 5, 09:43
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “Thank you Rev Stu for shining a light on all of this, so that the rest of us can truly…” Aug 5, 09:35
100%Yes on The Plague: “The Sturgeon now Swinney years will go down in history as the docile years in Scottish politics and the most…” Aug 5, 09:23
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “It fits the definition of anarcho tyranny. Just like our “new” WM government’s announcement yesterday that they have “no choice”…” Aug 5, 09:23
Jamie on The Plague: “How that madman Watson has not been locked up yet, at least in a loony bin is beyond belief.” Aug 5, 08:26
100%Yes on The Plague: “@Jay 5 August, 2026 at 5:56 am I hope this helps.” Aug 5, 08:25
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “There was an article on Unherd recently exposing the extent of the adoption of trans woo woo in the Met.…” Aug 5, 08:19
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “Plainly, Ian, it’s not an encitement to anything. It’s a statement of someone’s apathy towards a potential course of action.…” Aug 5, 08:10
Aidan on The Plague: “I think we’re getting into the realms of fantasy there, to quote Captain Mainwairing. Nothing that the Rev is doing…” Aug 5, 07:48
Jay on The Plague: “What is the method for responding directly to a comment when there is no reply facility show with the comment?” Aug 5, 05:56
Ian Morrison on The Plague: “You have been using the English language for decades? yuou laft out mention of how good you are at spelling.…” Aug 5, 05:32
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Plague: “GRAHAM LINEHAN | THE GLINNER UPDATE | SUBSTACK Aug 04, 2026 HOW THE BELFAST TELEGRAPH HANDLED HELEN JOYCE The Belfast…” Aug 5, 01:12
Dalif on The Plague: “You must have some amazing blood pressure medication after all that. Anyway, that was a great read.” Aug 5, 00:00
Young Lochinvar on The Plague: “Mrs YL asked what skin moisturisers he’s using, as they clearly aren’t helping..” Aug 4, 23:59
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “There’s always a silver lining, though. Nobody’s claiming Fanon has the answer to this one.” Aug 4, 23:30
Angus on The Plague: “Police harassment of innocent citizens only happens in a police state. Most of the freedoms hard gained in the last…” Aug 4, 22:51
Jay on The Plague: “Aidan at 9:30pm. No reply facility at your ‘MI5?’ comment. Who knows? The Watson nightmare saga almost beggars belief. It…” Aug 4, 22:44
Jay on The Plague: “Ian, yuou laft out part of the tweet, “….for all I care”. That omission is the act of either a…” Aug 4, 22:27
dearieme on The Plague: “I suppose the days are long gone when you could ask “Under which statute, officer?”. Well done to you for…” Aug 4, 22:10
Aidan on The Plague: “That this was coordinated by MI5?” Aug 4, 21:30
Ross on The Plague: “This is absolutely disgraceful. Whatever else the call at 1,30am is so unneccessary as to be vexatious in itself. Hope…” Aug 4, 21:14
David G on The Plague: “I dread to think what the police do to people who don’t say anything in response to the request that…” Aug 4, 21:05
Frank Waring on The Plague: “I remember reading, I think in Tom Driberg’s ‘Ruling Passions’, that in the 1930’s and 40’s ambitious young police constables…” Aug 4, 21:04
Jay on The Plague: “Aidan: it is necessary to know where Watson made his ‘input’ to the law enforcement system and which officer decided…” Aug 4, 21:00
Jay on The Plague: “Ian Morrison: it would be interesting to learn the basis upon which you think that the Lucy Connolly tweet called…” Aug 4, 20:49
A2 on The Plague: “Wait…. Joined the dots, He was Living in Dunfermline?” Aug 4, 20:49
