I was going to write this article yesterday, but 2024’s miserable damp squib of a summer unexpectedly delivered a beautiful day – a perfect 20C of unbroken sunshine with a refreshing slight breeze – so I went for a nice walk instead.
Rather than my usual bird-feeding and bear-patrolling beat along the river and canal, I headed off on what used to be my standard summer stroll: up the long steep hill to Beckford’s Tower and its associated cemetery with stunning views over the city.
I’ll scatter a few pics from the walk throughout this feature, as otherwise I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit depressing and angering.
There are now just 10 days until the general election. Wings has never told its readers how to vote and we’re not going to start now. Which is lucky, because if we were, we wouldn’t have a clue how to.
Just, y’know, not for any of these wretched, worthless shiters.
When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
Having solved cat hunger in Greece, the tireless Holiday Boy has now turned his hand to addressing Scotland’s crippling golfing shortage, so we’ve got a different sort of cartoon again for you this weekend.
The clip below is from a 1981 arcade videogame called Venture, by Exidy, in which you play a cheerful character called Winky on a mission to loot treasure from a series of monster-infested dungeons.
For the purposes of this article the treasure in the room above, which takes the form of a castle tower, represents Scottish politics. The room itself is the Union.
The SNP released their general election manifesto today. We’re not going to link you to it, because we don’t want to be responsible for wasting your time. This is everything it has to say on the party’s (cough) strategy for achieving independence.
It deserves much, much less respect than we’re giving it. Tomorrow, ice lolly reviews.
I’m a professional community organiser, and a tenant and housing activist for some 20 years. I saw the old Scottish Tenants Organisation get smashed by Jack McConnell’s government to make way for council housing privatisation, which in Glasgow created the Glasgow Housing Association.
I’ve long wanted to rebuild a national body to give housing schemes a political voice and to push to end the housing crisis. That’s why I got involved with Living Rent, organising my community to become their first branch. Little did I know that would lead to a brush with crazed gender ideology, and see Queer Theory used to try to destroy it.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Holiday Boy has of course chosen the general election campaign to spend the next three weeks feeding stray cats somewhere sunny, so here’s a cartoon by the brilliant webcomicname that summarises the Baillie Gifford story for anyone joining us late.
January 2018, with no general election due for four and a half years: “I very rarely talk about Scottish independence in the chamber, because I talk about things that matter”
June 2024, with an election in four weeks and a £91,346 salary, expenses and pension at stake: “ROBERT THE BRUCE! BANNOCKBURN! DECLARATION OF ARBROATH! FLOWER OF SCOTLAND! FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMM!”
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Thanks for the links! I’ll catch up.” May 1, 21:22
George Ferguson on Seven Days Too Long: “@Geri 8:41pm I didn’t get the privilege of a reply button. I don’t want convicted criminals in charge of the…” May 1, 21:13
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: ““Remind us again. Just how many third-world immigrants does the current Scottish Government think we need to drag us kicking…” May 1, 21:12
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Seven Days Too Long: “Can’t quite remember where I got this: « DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THESE SKILLS? (Jan 2017) « 77 Brigade,…” May 1, 21:10
Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “If you despise “leftist” politics so much then why the desire to spoil your ballot paper, as there are still…” May 1, 20:48
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Because yoons vote for them. True story. “They like their policies & they can still vote no in a ref”…” May 1, 20:47
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Whatever happened to doing his time & moving on? Aren’t Christians supposed to be charitable & believe in rehabilitation, George?…” May 1, 20:41
George Ferguson on Seven Days Too Long: “@JCD Agreed Tommy Sheridan is a good speaker as long as the audience can’t answer back. A bunch of old…” May 1, 20:10
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: “I’m truly astonished that you know so little about Scotland and the Scots that you would believe 83% of Scots…” May 1, 20:09
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““sharpie in large letters across the ballot “end the Union”” Good God! Does it really fall to me to have…” May 1, 19:57
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““You might want to remember” You might want to address the arguments presented. In case it’s you that can’t remember:…” May 1, 19:47
JCD on Seven Days Too Long: “Ok End The Union it is. The reason I’m unsure about voting ATLS is that left wing organizations in particular…” May 1, 19:42
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““SCOTLAND does not need more WASPS on mobility scooters” Maybe you should visit Scotland, TURABDIN. For every WASP on a…” May 1, 19:38
Alf Baird on Seven Days Too Long: “You might want to remember that “the current Scottish Government” is merely a colonial administration, and what that usually means…” May 1, 19:25
100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “Tangerines are marching again in Aberdeen after a spell off. For god sake who are these brainless morons.” May 1, 19:07
TURABDIN on Seven Days Too Long: “That picture speaks volumes… SNP…young, vibrant & relevant, the sexiest choice in politics.” May 1, 18:59
100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “You can only imagine what the next 5 yrs will bring under the SNP and Green government and it’ll be…” May 1, 18:59
100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “You can only amigine what the next 5 yrs will bring under the SNP and Green government and it’ll be…” May 1, 18:59
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““the sinking uk TITanic” Freudian slip or spending too much time studying Polanski’s pre-political gibberish?” May 1, 18:39
Captain Caveman on Seven Days Too Long: “Ah, touché! Made me laugh. Good lad. 🙂” May 1, 18:34
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““tax cuts for the rich” Shame you have no useful talents and lack the capacity to hold down a job.…” May 1, 18:34
twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “YL , how dare you question the suggestions put forward by AyDan & his top cheerleader and MaaaaTe , they…” May 1, 18:23
Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “Aye Y Lochnivar. Aidan trying to distract, disrupt and divert. For all the AI generated pish it posts it doesn’t…” May 1, 18:18
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““us liberation seeking Scots” One day, Northy, everybody who remembers the weeks and months you devoted on here to self-identifying…” May 1, 18:16
ALANM on Seven Days Too Long: “Desperate times call for desperate measures. A vote for anyone other than reform is a vote for the status quo.…” May 1, 18:13
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““a colony might reasonably expect some population change post independence” No shit, Sherlock! Remind us again. Just how many third-world…” May 1, 18:12
Northcode on Seven Days Too Long: ““He’s always come across as an exceedingly bitter, verbose troll to me…do you get the sense that Northcode is moving…” May 1, 18:08
Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “AI Dun @ 5.23 But you suggested disenfranchised SNP voters voting elsewhere would tip the balance in the constituency you…” May 1, 17:49
Northcode on Seven Days Too Long: “… your life must be pretty dull…you must reminisce frequently upon your halcyon days back in the “Roaring Twenties”… Almost…” May 1, 17:46
Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “Fat Slag Wilma Flintstone @ 5.01 Were you crying as you typed that? Oh dear..” May 1, 17:44