When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
Having solved cat hunger in Greece, the tireless Holiday Boy has now turned his hand to addressing Scotland’s crippling golfing shortage, so we’ve got a different sort of cartoon again for you this weekend.
The clip below is from a 1981 arcade videogame called Venture, by Exidy, in which you play a cheerful character called Winky on a mission to loot treasure from a series of monster-infested dungeons.
For the purposes of this article the treasure in the room above, which takes the form of a castle tower, represents Scottish politics. The room itself is the Union.
The SNP released their general election manifesto today. We’re not going to link you to it, because we don’t want to be responsible for wasting your time. This is everything it has to say on the party’s (cough) strategy for achieving independence.
It deserves much, much less respect than we’re giving it. Tomorrow, ice lolly reviews.
I’m a professional community organiser, and a tenant and housing activist for some 20 years. I saw the old Scottish Tenants Organisation get smashed by Jack McConnell’s government to make way for council housing privatisation, which in Glasgow created the Glasgow Housing Association.
I’ve long wanted to rebuild a national body to give housing schemes a political voice and to push to end the housing crisis. That’s why I got involved with Living Rent, organising my community to become their first branch. Little did I know that would lead to a brush with crazed gender ideology, and see Queer Theory used to try to destroy it.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Holiday Boy has of course chosen the general election campaign to spend the next three weeks feeding stray cats somewhere sunny, so here’s a cartoon by the brilliant webcomicname that summarises the Baillie Gifford story for anyone joining us late.
January 2018, with no general election due for four and a half years: “I very rarely talk about Scottish independence in the chamber, because I talk about things that matter”
June 2024, with an election in four weeks and a £91,346 salary, expenses and pension at stake: “ROBERT THE BRUCE! BANNOCKBURN! DECLARATION OF ARBROATH! FLOWER OF SCOTLAND! FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMM!”
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “As long as he wears his stab vest he’ll be fine.” Mar 15, 13:45
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Good post, Geri. If what you write is true, Indy is becoming ever more of a slam dunk proposition with…” Mar 15, 13:26
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Fa’s Northy? Is he awa in London at the protest? If ye are, Northy, I’m the one wearing the tea…” Mar 15, 13:14
Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““It’s nonsensical demented ranted which isn’t based on any facts or evidence or analysis of any description.” LOL! Is two…” Mar 15, 13:01
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “What’s wrong with phrases up to and including; “The U.K. is a vassal state” “Scotland has no economy” “We’ll be…” Mar 15, 11:51
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan What’s actually wrong with what Geri has stated. The content of the post touches on various relevant matters as…” Mar 15, 10:30
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Yes Geri – I am struggling to simultaneously; a) finish my morning coffee; and b) arrange for you to be…” Mar 15, 10:30
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “You can’t ever know for sure your dugs don’t fancy me, Geri. Try not to let that keep you awake…” Mar 15, 10:12
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Hark at shitface. The only thing you’ve signed up to in yer sad life is online chat forums 24/7. You’ve…” Mar 15, 10:01
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “On the plus side, Geri, the F16s will finally get off the ground. So not all bad.” Mar 15, 09:57
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Oh, you cannie multi task? Wid it be bot overload?” Mar 15, 09:55
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Naw, why don’t you give us a clue, Dumbo? We all know who uses “alert readers” tho to try mimic…” Mar 15, 09:50
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Enjoying the overnight posts. Good to see supposedly Sovereign Scots so keen to have a go. The first Orcs or…” Mar 15, 09:42
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “@James Isn’t your eyesight a bit “challenged” for you to be volunteering? I’m not seeing you manning any barricades unless…” Mar 15, 09:24
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Geri says: Boom. Boom. Alert readers will spot the other regulars who also say Boom. Boom. I wonder how many…” Mar 15, 09:14
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “It’s harakiri. Unless you’re actually on about some kind of solitary pastime.” Mar 15, 09:10
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Because, thicko, the UK is a Vassal state. You’re colonised. Did ye not know that? You’ll buy LNG & Oil…” Mar 15, 09:09
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “A warning from history. In 1979 the Marxist movement in Iran joined with the clerics to produce what we now…” Mar 15, 07:38
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “I enjoyed your wee ditty ‘Bout a Prince once so pretty. But, now I fear He’s no longer so dear…” Mar 15, 07:09
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “I wasn’t aware that anyone on here was having a sensible conversation on either energy or food security, but if…” Mar 15, 07:07
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Two little boys Had two little toys One a tottie boat grey The other a helicopter-green, and Happily they played…” Mar 15, 06:22
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Careful you don’t catch that zip running up the back of yer napper..” Mar 15, 02:23
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Get a grip, ya balloon. Hello! Is that the polis? Someone upset me on the internet… Whhhhaaaaaa! Whaaaaa! I’m sure…” Mar 15, 02:15
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “If you comment on this platform again I will report your comment to the Police. Just fucking try me. Prick.” Mar 15, 00:34
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “You are coming in your pants hoping for a retaliation from the Islamic inbreds. It will happen. The attack will…” Mar 15, 00:30
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “I see an advert has been created for Magnum Bon Bons that hasn’t learnt the hard lesson that trannifying products…” Mar 14, 22:38
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Not going to happen. Now Iran will attack theirs. They said the other day they’d be moving to reciprocal targets.…” Mar 14, 20:39
