The BBC lunchtime weather forecast of 15 October 1987 is now fondly looked back on as a moment of shared national doh-what-are-we-like? comedy, in the same vein as a Morecambe and Wise Christmas show or something.
Eternally angry Conservative MSP Adam Tomkins has been even shoutier than usual this week, purple-faced with rage about the fact that the SNP has decided to spend some of its own money (not taxpayer cash) asking people for their opinions.
It’s a curious argument from a member of a party that’s been rejected in successive elections in Scotland in 1964, 1966, 1970, 1974, 1974 again, 1979, 1983, 1987, 1992, 1997, 1999, 2001, 2003, 2005, 2007, 2010, 2011, 2015 and 2016, but keeps turning up and barking orders anyway. You’d think the first 50 years might qualify as a hint.
Fear and lies work. Over many decades (and really for centuries) the Unionist parties and the media have succeeded in persuading a large percentage of Scots that they’re beggars, scroungers, vagrants and “subsidy junkies” dependent on the ever-generous charity of England to keep them from starvation.
And in terms of the facts, that hasn’t always been an easy sell.
More or less since the morning of 19 September 2014, the Unionist parties in Scotland have kept up an unceasing chorus of “You lost! Accept it!” directed at the entire Yes movement, but primarily the SNP (despite the SNP having never to date disputed the result or called for a re-run of the referendum).
Readers may not be entirely astonished to discover this morning that at least as far as Scottish Labour are concerned, that principle only applies to other people.
Because we’re pretty sure there’s already a name for when political parties set out an “alternative programme of government”.
Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz gave an interesting interview to Good Morning Scotland just after 8am today, in which he expressed a number of careful, measured and qualified views on a variety of subjects including currency.
But obviously Scottish people are much too stupid to understand stuff like that, so the BBC quickly dumbed it down for them.
The problem is that there’s a difference between simplifying and falsifying.
The Scottish Mail On Sunday felt obliged this weekend to devote newsprint in what’s technically an actual newspaper to a piece of snark that might just be a new all-time low in the highly competitive barrel-scraping field of “SNP BAD”:
Half a page was given up to a bunch of sour complaints that the First Minister had built in FIVE MINUTES on her itinerary on a school visit (aimed at encouraging girls to take up traditionally male careers) for people to get selfies with her.
Dismayingly often, the thing that irritates us the most about the Unionist press lying to its readers isn’t the fact that they’re doing it, but the fact that they do it so insultingly badly. As an illustrative case in point, here’s the Sunday Times’ reliably dull-witted Scottish columnist Gillian Bowditch today:
Now, let’s be generous and ignore the honkingly stupid first paragraph, which paints a couple of exceptional bad years as a permanent status, and focus on the second one.
This is the demented, McCarthyite state of madness the Labour Party has reached:
This is a party now openly rejecting anyone as a member who has ever supported any other party. We’d take a minute to try to explain to them how the arithmetic of that one works out, but they’re a long, long way beyond the grasp of reason now.
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Who is saying we’ll be billions in debt after independence? What do we owe? Zero. Who do we owe it…” May 4, 02:39
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Just a suggestion but I wonder if AtLS has ever reached out to Phantom Power to work together? They used…” May 4, 00:50
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “To lock out other independent parties. Sturgeon boasted herself, live on telly, she’d rather work with yoons than with Alex…” May 3, 22:35
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “The Farage Fear Factor, Trump Derangement Syndrome. The Tit Whisperer, Dirty Filthy Labour and Queers for Terrorists. Yes indeed. The…” May 3, 22:12
sarah on Seven Days Too Long: “2016 SNP list vote gained NIL seats. 2021 SNP list vote [over 1 million of them] gained 2 seats. If…” May 3, 21:58
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “They’re as thick as shit. No wonder the Eppy class shafts them. Dumb doff capping serfs only have the attention…” May 3, 20:53
Iain More on Seven Days Too Long: “Get a life yah toxic wee Sassanach Troll” May 3, 20:04
Aidan on Seven Days Too Long: “No Insider is right Alf, James Cheyne has lost the plot” May 3, 19:34
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “These people that told you this are they still in your head?” May 3, 19:31
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “When you are right and everyone else is wrong usually means a mental breakdown. How’s the sex change going?” May 3, 19:19
Iain More on Seven Days Too Long: “It is a waste of time asking for a Section 30. Scotland isn’t going to get one whatever. The Yoons…” May 3, 19:05
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “I have always liked the unionist on here as they are so helpful in making my post entertaining when they…” May 3, 18:57
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “Raising a glass of fine malt single whiskey to Graham Linehan. A soldier in the war against evil.” May 3, 18:54
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “As I mentioned these records of the non- union with Scotland can be researched and checked out, The dummies are…” May 3, 18:50
twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “Unfortunately for you James Che makes more sense with her contributions than you ever did with your constant support for…” May 3, 18:06
Izzie on Seven Days Too Long: “Just back from deliveting SNP both votes leaflet. Knocked them in. People seem to have forgiven (forgotten) campervangate? and Alex…” May 3, 18:06
Insider on Seven Days Too Long: “Alf Baird 3:25 Aye, you and “James Che” certainly made a good pair ! Is that the sound of wedding…” May 3, 16:35
Alf Baird on Seven Days Too Long: ““lost the plot” No so; James has merely confirmed what we all know, and as Liberation Scotland and Professor Robert…” May 3, 15:23
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Bilbo Apologies, my reply ended up in the wrong place. Anyway, update… I’ve since watched an interview with him. It…” May 3, 15:10
Sven on Seven Days Too Long: “He should be okay as long as he doesn’t go onto the roofs of any high building or too near…” May 3, 13:29
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “James was locked in a cupboard as a child. That’s when the voices started.” May 3, 13:00
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “Even the Scottish Greens are afraid of the Tit Whisperer. A gay Jew who is best chums with Islamic cut…” May 3, 12:53
Towbar Sullivan on Seven Days Too Long: “OIC…I didn’t realise. I’ll say a prayer for the poor demented old dear.” May 3, 12:47
Insider on Seven Days Too Long: “Towbar Don’t be too hard on “James”. It is actually a very old lady who has sadly “lost the plot”.…” May 3, 12:28
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Oh Sturgeon had her moments. Who could forget her idiotic post glorify the death count of Rs with various muscle…” May 3, 12:19
Towbar Sullivan on Seven Days Too Long: “James, have you been on the poitin? It was the 1800 Acts of Union, there was an Anglo-Irish Agreement, but…” May 3, 11:51