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The hungry gamekeepers 380

Posted on October 31, 2016 by

Old media and new media spoke with one voice in Scotland today:

recordcsobfa

But for once it was the dead-tree press that held the moral high ground.

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Writers of fiction 365

Posted on October 30, 2016 by

We were hugely excited earlier on today to receive news of a long-hoped-for team-up between two of our very favourite people on the internet: catastrophically thick Daily Express hack Siobhan McFadyen and popular lawsuit enthusiast JK Rowling.

mcfadyenrowling

What we hadn’t expected was a starring role.

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The results we’ve come to expect 176

Posted on October 30, 2016 by

Saturday 11.34am:

dugtrump

Saturday 8.02pm:

dugtrump2a

Wow, that’s fast. We can only assume she took John McTernan with her.

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Trick or treat 186

Posted on October 29, 2016 by

tricktreat

The not-so-Specials 181

Posted on October 28, 2016 by

Hmm.

speciala

Anyone missing?

A matter of competence 809

Posted on October 25, 2016 by

Back in May we wrote this:

yoonpo

The prediction duly came true, as most of ours do. Sometimes we hate being right.

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Meet The Yoons, Part 2 130

Posted on October 25, 2016 by

A member of an MSP’s staff posted an image on Twitter this morning of a flyer that had apparently just been shoved through their office letter box:

noflyer

But after having a merry old chuckle at the layout, colour choice and language, we wondered what sort of person might produce such a thing. So, ably assisted as ever by a team of alert readers, we decided to see if we could find out.

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The stupidest thing ever said 109

Posted on October 25, 2016 by

We realise that there’s some stiff competition for that accolade, even if you restrict it solely to things said by Kezia Dugdale, but this needs preserving for posterity.

povertyindependence

A couple of questions do spring immediately to mind: (1) how does every country on Earth that isn’t Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland do it, and (2) given that Scotland has now been in the Union for 309 years, how much longer is it going to take before the two things are finally eradicated?

We look forward to hearing the answers from Labour any day now.

Mathematician Of The Week 111

Posted on October 24, 2016 by

The former Chancellor of the Exchequer in today’s Press & Journal:

darlingcount

55-45 is “far more decisive” than 62-38? We think we’re finally beginning to understand why the last Labour government left the British economy in such a mess.

A reminder of the obvious 138

Posted on October 24, 2016 by

From the annual report into the state of the UK, published by Deloitte:

deloittegers

It really is remarkable how often that has to be explained to stupid people.

All around the houses 271

Posted on October 23, 2016 by

The UK’s decision to leave the European Union has, it seems fair and uncontroversial to say, thrown Scotland’s Unionist parties into something of a spin. With all of them having campaigned for a Remain vote, all are now faced with the unsquareable circle of operating in a country that voted to stay in both the UK and the EU but can now only have one of those things.

Scottish Labour were the first to get themselves into a fankle, unsurprisingly. Their leader Kezia Dugdale first said she might conceivably be able to see herself voting for independence in order to stay in Europe, but then frantically backpedalled as soon as anyone noticed, and is now locked into a position of “never, no chance, not no way, not no how”, even as her own deputy publicly disagrees with her.

rowleyref

(Uncharitable readers pointing out that she took the same view on Jeremy Corbyn, before backing him wholeheartedly when he first won a leadership, then backing Owen Smith a year later on the grounds that Corbyn was useless, then insisting that Corbyn had her fulsome support and could definitely win a general election when he won the leadership again, should be ashamed of themselves. If a leader can’t U-turn three times in the space of 12 months, who can?)

But remarkably, the Scottish Tories seem to be even more confused.

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Who let the dogs out? 203

Posted on October 22, 2016 by

The popular children’s author and litigious bully JK Rowling, whose personal wealth is measured in hundreds of millions of pounds, has been devoting her time to the tricky task of finding people being rude on Twitter again.

rowlingdogs

In an attempt to prove that the independence referendum (described by the Scottish Police Federation as “robust but overwhelmingly good-natured”) had been every bit as grotesque as the Brexit one which has seen an enormous rise in serious hate crimes in England and Wales – comprising thousands of incidents up to and including murder – Rowling had cherry-picked out a few unpleasant-sounding social-media comments and compiled them into a series of delightful collages.

(We’ll leave aside that calling someone “Yoontermensch” is a fair distance removed from smashing them in the face with a plank of wood in the street, say. Though we will, as is traditional, remind readers that every single recorded instance of physical violence during the indyref came from the No side that Rowling lavishly funded.)

One of the comments (visible in the top-right corner of Rowling’s composite image) came from the Twitter account of this site. And we thought it sounded a bit off, so we had a quick check to see if we’d really said something so mean.

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    • James Cheyne on Yelling at the tide: “Scots law. The laws that were to “remain the same as before the union” in the treaty of union. NOT…Jan 22, 11:41
    • Alf Baird on Yelling at the tide: ““A magical tale set in a fantasy world” Indeed so, Northcode. Which follows on from the fantasy of a mythical…Jan 22, 11:09
    • Northcode on Yelling at the tide: “Whit an erse am !… I only went and postit my laist comment up oan the wrang threed. Here it…Jan 22, 09:40
    • Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “£20 says it can be trusted to inspire millions of Scots to vote for it in May.Jan 22, 09:37
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Yelling at the tide: ““Nostalgia is not a strategy.” (Mark Carney, Prime Minister of Canada, Davos WEF, Switzerland, 20 Jan 2026)Jan 22, 09:28
    • TURABDIN on Yelling at the tide: “AULD LANG SYN…..or maybe not. https://archive.ph/7wBQAJan 22, 09:27
    • Northcode on The Secondhand Amendment: “Kempian Law (The theory and its practical application in a Scottish court of law). Kemp’s Law – The Series (Perry…Jan 22, 09:12
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “How can he when several million Scots voters continually and consistently go out and vote for more of the same?…Jan 22, 08:54
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Such a cryptic post, Scot. What is it about rule from Brussels that so many so-called Indy supporters find so…Jan 22, 08:50
    • Onlooker on Yelling at the tide: “Any updates on the Alex Salmond case? I hope it’s still going ahead. Be quite willing to kick money into…Jan 22, 03:08
    • Saffron Robe on Yelling at the tide: “Well done, Stuart. Keep at them. No one is above the law and that includes the judiciary.Jan 22, 01:06
    • AdamH on Yelling at the tide: “What would happen to an FOI request for the “correspondence with judicial colleague”?Jan 22, 00:52
    • Jason Smoothpiece on Yelling at the tide: “Harrumph Know your place man.Jan 21, 22:37
    • Marie on Yelling at the tide: “I have as much confidence in the Scottish judiciary as I have in Scotland’s politicians – zero.Jan 21, 22:19
    • sarah on Yelling at the tide: “@ Dave G: “Judge Susan Walker – a member of the Diversity Taskforce…set up by the Senior President of Tribunals.”…Jan 21, 22:08
    • Scot Finlayson on Yelling at the tide: “If there was a choice,and the way the world is unravelling, who knows, would you rather be governed by Westminster…Jan 21, 21:45
    • McDuff on Yelling at the tide: “A brilliant letter rev.Jan 21, 21:43
    • Dave G on Yelling at the tide: “I don’t know if it is of any significance but Judge Susan Walker’s CV states “She is a member of…Jan 21, 21:22
    • Morgatron on Yelling at the tide: “Great letter Stu.Jan 21, 21:06
    • Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “I hate when everybody ignores your posts, Northy. Something about the pathos of it all makes me well up. You…Jan 21, 20:41
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Really, Northy, buy a copy of Alf’s book? First, define the difference between sucking sycophancy and non-sucking sycophancy. Those of…Jan 21, 20:30
    • Hatey McHateface on The Secondhand Amendment: “You’ve got the gas chambers and the incinerators, Confused. Let’s hope that’s enough to get Barbie back. This place just…Jan 21, 19:52
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “@Alf Baird The “coloniser’s historic, economic and cultural needs” would have been best served by Alex Salmond being banged up.…Jan 21, 19:43
    • Willie on Yelling at the tide: “Good stuff again Rev. Your letter to the Tribunal President brings into sharp focus the very grave issues of concern…Jan 21, 19:38
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Sorry, Northy, you’ve already self-id-ed as a shit today. Self-id as a clown in a few days when the alert…Jan 21, 19:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Yelling at the tide: “Cracker of a post, Twat H. No random caps anywhere. You must have been a good boy. Looks like Santa…Jan 21, 19:26
    • twathater on Yelling at the tide: “I have no doubt Professor Baird that irrespective of what you post Hatey McFuckwit would have to comment on it…Jan 21, 17:22
    • sarah on The Secondhand Amendment: “Andy Wiltshire: “Does the entire Scottish judicial system have membership of the same Edinburgh club?” Is this the New Club…Jan 21, 17:14
    • Colin Alexander on Yelling at the tide: “Remember: In Scotland, Public body / professional body complaint processes are designed to fob you off and frustrate any attempts…Jan 21, 17:12
    • Cynicus on Yelling at the tide: “Ian Smith says: “Bear in mind that AI can be prompted to agree with the type of query it is…Jan 21, 16:57
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