Fanny Dancing 101
Posted on
April 25, 2024 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Archive for the ‘wtf’
An Uncommon Occurrence 41
Posted on
April 24, 2024 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
News reaches Wings this evening that Humza Yousaf has called an emergency meeting of the Scottish Cabinet at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning, just a couple of hours before FMQs. (This information has been confirmed directly to us by a source very close to a member of said Cabinet.)
An emergency Cabinet meeting is an extraordinarily rare event. As far as we’re able to establish there have only been two during the SNP’s time in power – when the budget failed to pass in 2009 and Alex Salmond’s administration had to decide whether or not to trigger a general election, and one the day after the Brexit vote to supposedly plan a second indyref (LOL). But in any case they’re extremely unusual.
The subject of the meeting has not been disclosed to us. It could, for example, concern imminent developments in Operation Branchform, or it could relate to the Bute House Agreement between the SNP and the Scottish Greens. The men in grey kilts may have come for the FM. Or Scotland could be about to declare war on Morocco or something. But we are told that the fact of the meeting taking place is a 100% certainty.
So no sleeping in tomorrow, readers. It’s probably going to be big.
When there’s no-one left to fight 96
Posted on
March 13, 2024 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Everyone’s having a lot of fun with the farcical Hate Crime Act that will finally come into operation in Scotland in just a couple of weeks’ time, fittingly on April Fools’ Day.
Even by the Scottish Government’s abysmally rank standards of legislation over the last decade it’s an embarrassing binfire, with citizens being urged to rock up at fishmongers, mushroom farms and demolished tower blocks to report “hate crimes”.
And you’d have to laugh, except that might be a crime soon too.
The reddest flag in history 61
Posted on
January 30, 2024 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Nicola Sturgeon is due to give her evidence to the COVID inquiry tomorrow – if, of course, she remembers anything. We’re awaiting, open-mouthed in genuine shock, her explanation for this.
Because try as hard as we might, we cannot for the lives of us bring to mind a single possible legitimate justification for a First Minister to do such a thing.
Alert readers may however note that 19 March 2020 was just four days before Alex Salmond was cleared of all charges, and might find themselves pondering the reasons why she might want to be in possession of a cheap disposable text-capable phone at that particular point in time.
An unexpected development 635
Posted on
November 27, 2023 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Apparently I’ve removed myself as the head of me for misbehaviour.
These are zany times in the independence movement, readers. Hold on.
The Lowest Low 342
Posted on
November 16, 2023 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
This is officially the most embarrassed to be Scottish we’ve ever been.
And we’re including both the 2014 Commonwealth Games opening ceremony AND the time Craig Levein played 4-6-0 against the Czech Republic in that.
We have a government of clowns. Please, somebody, make it stop.
Down The Pipe 64
Posted on
October 16, 2023 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
As alert readers will have noticed, Wings has been perusing the SNP’s Governance And Transparency Review over the last couple of days, a document which tentatively attempts to discern just how big a mess the party’s previous leadership has left it in.
(SPOILER: a really big one.)
The paper has now also reached the mainstream media.
Wings already touched on that particular aspect of the party’s mismanagement back in August, but in the light of the report now formally acknowledging the problem it’s worth taking a moment to establish just how astonishingly bad it is.
Out of a bright blue sky 152
Posted on
October 12, 2023 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Well, we must admit we didn’t see that one coming.
Although maybe it’s just because over the last few years the concept of an SNP MP having any sort of principles has become so wildly implausible.
A Tale Of Two Nations 198
Posted on
September 13, 2023 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Huh.
But hey, maybe it’s just one of those things where you only get a drop-down menu and there’s no option for “Scottish”, yeah?
Oh. Well, there you go then.
Enemy Of A State 97
Posted on
August 29, 2023 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
So this popped up this afternoon.
I checked, and it’s legitimately from Apple.
Somebody make it make sense 42
Posted on
August 26, 2023 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Humza Yousaf today:
So… his job is to get a legally binding referendum (something which doesn’t actually exist), but he knows that if we’re likely to win it we’re less likely to get it, so… we need to look like we’re going to lose one if it happens?
So presumably with support for the SNP already plummeting through the floor, the next phase of his grand strategy will be to drive support for independence down too? We suppose that’s a more rational explanation of the party’s actions in recent years than anything else we can think of, right enough.
Or of course, it might be that the guy’s just a complete gibbering idiot. You tell us.
The Day The SNP Died 116
Posted on
August 23, 2023 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Luckily, someone else has already said it for us.
The haunting words of a dead man, brought to you again on the exact anniversary of the day William Wallace was hung, drawn and quartered at Smithfield in London for treason against the English crown.
Three deaths for the price of one. RIP.
