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Archive for the ‘wtf’


Drawing blanks 40

Posted on August 23, 2023 by

Readers, we’ve got nothing.

Did you all get together and arrange this as a massive prank while we were out at the shops? Because if so, well done, you got us, but it’s time to own up.

Gone Fishin’ 94

Posted on August 08, 2023 by

Look, we know. But there’s no news. Check out the state of it.

“KEYBOARD PLAYER ALLEGEDLY GOT FAT-SHAMED AT SOME UNSPECIFIED POINT IN TIME BY FOURTH-DIVISION BAND WHO LAST HAD A TOP 40 SINGLE IN 2006 and “CYCLIST GOES TO TOILET”. Front pages.

(The keyboard player now works for SNP pie-disposal unit Anne McLaughlin, ironically, which seems to be the closest relationship the story has with current affairs. But hey, kudos to the Record for beating all the other papers to that “exclusive”.)

We remain alert. If anything remotely worthwhile happens, we’ll be on it.

Doing it for the kids 194

Posted on July 04, 2023 by

Although we’ve only mentioned him in passing in articles about other people, serial Labour and Green election failure Heather Herbert is one of the creepiest and most irresponsible men in Scottish transactivism, which is no mean feat.

(We don’t know whether Herbert is his birth surname or if he chose it in tribute to the paedophile “Herbert the pervert” character in Family Guy, like another Scotland-based transactivist named himself after an infamous transwoman who was jailed for 18 years for a brutal attempted murder and another violent transactivist deliberately named himself after a well-known gender-critical feminist.)

He popped up on Talk TV last night, explaining how a middle-aged man twerking at a number of very young children – some of whom seemed visibly distressed – during a recent Pride march was fine because maybe the children had asked him to (which they manifestly hadn’t), and anyway it was their parents’ fault that it happened.

And, y’know, readers can make their own judgements about that.

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Ruined In A Day 219

Posted on July 03, 2023 by

Hannah Graf MBE (below, right, receiving the decoration from Prince William in 2019 for his “work updating LGBTQ policy in the British Army”) is a very strange fella.

And not just for the obvious reason.

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Kirsty Blackman’s Genitals 424

Posted on June 13, 2023 by

Some of you still won’t have seen them, er, we mean “this”:

While it may have been the funniest – and Joanna Cherry silently spoke for every sane person in the nation as it went on – remarkably it wasn’t even the stupidest or most offensive part of her speech to yesterday’s Parliamentary debate in Westminster Hall about the definition of “sex” in the Equality Act.

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The topical news quiz 96

Posted on June 11, 2023 by

Your first question, Ian Murray: who is the First Minister and leader of the SNP?

Ooh, sorry, zero points.

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Someone tell us the rules 135

Posted on May 18, 2023 by

As we told you on Tuesday, this happened today:

And we just can’t tell how it works any more.

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The King Of Wishful Thinking 150

Posted on May 17, 2023 by

We had to check this wasn’t Photoshopped.

It isn’t.

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Something to hide 86

Posted on April 21, 2023 by

Alert readers may recall our last foray into Freedom Of Information requests, when a couple of weeks ago we belatedly received a peculiarly evasive response from Police Scotland with regard to a meeting in February between the then-Chief Constable, Deputy Chief Constable and the justice secretary Keith Brown.

We duly followed it up with an FOI to the Scottish Government for Keith Brown’s official diary on that day – just about the most mundane, run-of-the-mill request possible. We expected nothing remarkable, just a short list of meetings, fully corroborating what we were told by Police Scotland.

What we got was rather more intriguing.

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The Party’s Over 399

Posted on April 09, 2023 by

On a day like today, all an honest person can really do with the Scottish National Party is make like Pontius Pilate and wash their hands of it.

Because there ain’t no resurrection from this.

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Humza’s Sneaky Peek 85

Posted on March 24, 2023 by

Wait what now?


And how would he know that, exactly?

Spinning the wheel 439

Posted on March 22, 2023 by

We’ve been thinking about it since last night, and we’re not sure if Humza Yousaf now still has ANY of the policies he started the leadership election with.

But this one‘s got us extra-specially perplexed, since at the start it was pretty much the main unique selling point he was hanging his whole campaign on.

Maybe you can help us out, readers.

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    • Hatey McHateface on Just Good Friends: “That’s a very fetching picture you conjure up there 🙂 It’s 4-5 years until Chairman Murray returns from the UN…Jul 11, 17:04
    • Lorn on Just Good Friends: “Hatey: you are absolutely correct. It was never about the women and girls. Always about the men in frocks. Personally,…Jul 11, 17:03
    • Hatey McHateface on Just Good Friends: “@Lorn That’s another reasoned, eloquent and sane post from you. Beats me how you manage to post on here without…Jul 11, 16:54
    • Mark Beggan on Just Good Friends: “The Royal Navy saves the Scottish government. Bastard English! Coming up here and saving the shipyard. I hope we don’t…Jul 11, 15:24
    • Alf Baird on Just Good Friends: “The reality of a colonial society such as in the Scottish context provides for a more complex picture in regard…Jul 11, 14:46
    • Mark Beggan on Just Good Friends: “Once the Yoons and the rest of the world stop laughing at your well planned strategy…. Let’s just recap shall…Jul 11, 13:41
    • Lorn on Just Good Friends: “Hatey: It is because they believe that independence will come only via the SNP. They are entirely wrong. Independence will…Jul 11, 12:53
    • Lorn on Just Good Friends: “David: why would so-called ‘trans’ identified people of either sex feel unsafe? They have been offered gender neutral toilets and…Jul 11, 12:37
    • James on Too Tight To Mention: “Amen to that, brother.Jul 11, 11:56
    • Duncan Strachan on Just Good Friends: “I agree Sarah. I think that we could have a check on the politicians by using a citizens assembly as…Jul 11, 11:06
    • 100%Yes on Just Good Friends: “I been stating this for months now that next years election isn’t going to be about Independence and even if…Jul 11, 09:39
    • Alf Baird on Too Tight To Mention: ““The old Scottish parliament members entered the Westminster parliament of England” Aye James, lest they had no shame, I suspect…Jul 11, 09:26
    • Callum on Just Good Friends: “People tend to gravitate towards those who share similar values, interests, and prejudices.. They choose to surround themselves and give…Jul 11, 09:12
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “I reply to P3nisbreath @5.05pm “We” the “Scots”.. Yer having a laugh.. There’s no-one on this site that has put…Jul 11, 03:42
    • Young Lochinvar on Too Tight To Mention: “In reply to Penisbreath @ 4.48pm Hmmmm.. At what point then, if not already, do you want Brown people to…Jul 11, 02:43
    • Young Lochinvar on Just Good Friends: “The company some people keep.. The MSM has a lot to answer for in covering this up over all the…Jul 11, 02:26
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Just Good Friends: “DOOYEWEERD: NORMS AND NORMATIVITY « No doubt there occur female feelings in men, and male feelings in women. But this cannot…Jul 10, 22:38
    • Lorn on Just Good Friends: “A vox populi was carried out in London some months ago, and it asked passing young men whether they believe…Jul 10, 21:16
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Just Good Friends: “DfE SAFEGUARDING GUIDANCE PROTECTING GENDER-QUESTIONING PUPILS FINALLY PUBLISHED « Safeguarding guidance which recognises the risks of ‘social transitioning’ has finally been…Jul 10, 21:01
    • agent x on Just Good Friends: “@ insider Many thanks – it worked for me.Jul 10, 20:56
    • Hatey McHateface on Just Good Friends: “I’ve been swithering, x. Should I claim there’s a typo in your post? An extra pair of letters on the…Jul 10, 20:00
    • Insider on Just Good Friends: ““I can’t read more because it is a paid for article” Go to your device’s “settings” and disable javascript for…Jul 10, 20:00
    • James Galt on Just Good Friends: “Of course the exact opposite is the case – the women are firmly in charge – no middle-aged white male…Jul 10, 19:49
    • Hatey McHateface on Just Good Friends: “They won’t bring it forwards because it was only ever intended as a Trojan Horse to protect men who masquerade…Jul 10, 19:42
    • agent x on Just Good Friends: ““Crime writer Val McDermid has branded the current political landscape an “absolutely cesspit of misogyny.” The best-selling author suggested the…Jul 10, 19:21
    • Mark Beggan on Just Good Friends: “The whole Scottish government is corrupt to it’s core. Our future must have a different political system. Party politics is…Jul 10, 19:20
    • Anthem on Just Good Friends: “It would solve a lot of problems. Just saying.Jul 10, 18:51
    • Anthem on Just Good Friends: “I agree Sarah.Jul 10, 18:49
    • Anthem on Just Good Friends: “Hatey Mc. That’s where we are now!Jul 10, 18:48
    • Anthem on Just Good Friends: “I agree Sarah.Jul 10, 18:46
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