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Archive for the ‘wtf’


Step right up for the clown show 196

Posted on June 15, 2024 by

Holiday Boy is still off single-handedly feeding the cats of Greece, but the modern SNP is all the cartoon you need.

The Circus Of Hate 286

Posted on May 09, 2024 by

Well, what a nice statement of unity and tolerance this is:

And only slightly undermined by coming from THIS guy:

But Smith’s new message of tolerance hasn’t fully penetrated the party ranks.

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The Labyrinth Of Stupidity 142

Posted on April 26, 2024 by

It’s probably as good an illustration of the madness currently engulfing Scottish politics as anything that the most unusual suspect, Anas Sarwar, may have just – temporarily at least – saved Humza Yousaf’s job.

And although our head hurts already, we’ll try to explain why.

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Fanny Dancing 101

Posted on April 25, 2024 by

Oh, wait, scratch everything.

Because this guy’s just wasting everybody’s time.

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An Uncommon Occurrence 41

Posted on April 24, 2024 by

News reaches Wings this evening that Humza Yousaf has called an emergency meeting of the Scottish Cabinet at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning, just a couple of hours before FMQs. (This information has been confirmed directly to us by a source very close to a member of said Cabinet.)

An emergency Cabinet meeting is an extraordinarily rare event. As far as we’re able to establish there have only been two during the SNP’s time in power – when the budget failed to pass in 2009 and Alex Salmond’s administration had to decide whether or not to trigger a general election, and one the day after the Brexit vote to supposedly plan a second indyref (LOL). But in any case they’re extremely unusual.

The subject of the meeting has not been disclosed to us. It could, for example, concern imminent developments in Operation Branchform, or it could relate to the Bute House Agreement between the SNP and the Scottish Greens. The men in grey kilts may have come for the FM. Or Scotland could be about to declare war on Morocco or something. But we are told that the fact of the meeting taking place is a 100% certainty.

So no sleeping in tomorrow, readers. It’s probably going to be big.

When there’s no-one left to fight 96

Posted on March 13, 2024 by

Everyone’s having a lot of fun with the farcical Hate Crime Act that will finally come into operation in Scotland in just a couple of weeks’ time, fittingly on April Fools’ Day.

Even by the Scottish Government’s abysmally rank standards of legislation over the last decade it’s an embarrassing binfire, with citizens being urged to rock up at fishmongers, mushroom farms and demolished tower blocks to report “hate crimes”.

And you’d have to laugh, except that might be a crime soon too.

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The reddest flag in history 61

Posted on January 30, 2024 by

Nicola Sturgeon is due to give her evidence to the COVID inquiry tomorrow – if, of course, she remembers anything. We’re awaiting, open-mouthed in genuine shock, her explanation for this.

Because try as hard as we might, we cannot for the lives of us bring to mind a single possible legitimate justification for a First Minister to do such a thing.

Alert readers may however note that 19 March 2020 was just four days before Alex Salmond was cleared of all charges, and might find themselves pondering the reasons why she might want to be in possession of a cheap disposable text-capable phone at that particular point in time.

An unexpected development 635

Posted on November 27, 2023 by

Apparently I’ve removed myself as the head of me for misbehaviour.

These are zany times in the independence movement, readers. Hold on.

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The Lowest Low 342

Posted on November 16, 2023 by

This is officially the most embarrassed to be Scottish we’ve ever been.

And we’re including both the 2014 Commonwealth Games opening ceremony AND the time Craig Levein played 4-6-0 against the Czech Republic in that.

We have a government of clowns. Please, somebody, make it stop.

Down The Pipe 64

Posted on October 16, 2023 by

As alert readers will have noticed, Wings has been perusing the SNP’s Governance And Transparency Review over the last couple of days, a document which tentatively attempts to discern just how big a mess the party’s previous leadership has left it in.

(SPOILER: a really big one.)

The paper has now also reached the mainstream media.

Wings already touched on that particular aspect of the party’s mismanagement back in August, but in the light of the report now formally acknowledging the problem it’s worth taking a moment to establish just how astonishingly bad it is.

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Out of a bright blue sky 152

Posted on October 12, 2023 by

Well, we must admit we didn’t see that one coming.

Although maybe it’s just because over the last few years the concept of an SNP MP having any sort of principles has become so wildly implausible.

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A Tale Of Two Nations 198

Posted on September 13, 2023 by

Huh.

But hey, maybe it’s just one of those things where you only get a drop-down menu and there’s no option for “Scottish”, yeah?

Oh. Well, there you go then.

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    • James on Not So Octopus: “We see you, Yoon.Apr 11, 12:09
    • Aidan on Not So Octopus: “@Geri – if you believe that your absurd and paranoid ramblings are shared by a majourity of people, or even…Apr 11, 12:06
    • Captain Caveman on Not So Octopus: ““Why are the Unionists here so intolerably kiss-ass to the site host?” Well, I daresay it’s all relative. Basic courtesies…Apr 11, 12:01
    • Captain Caveman on Not So Octopus: “Good grief… Well, I very much doubt that an articulate, intelligent and interesting poster like Lorncal will take this, ahem,…Apr 11, 11:57
    • agentx on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “It sounds like a clear breach of his disability rights in that they have failed to make reasonable adjustments to…Apr 11, 11:41
    • Alf Baird on Not So Octopus: “The colonialist tells the natives they’re not colonized. LoL.Apr 11, 11:20
    • Geri on Not So Octopus: “You don’t speak for the majority of Scots, thank fck, so why don’t you pack up yer wee violin. Only…Apr 11, 11:00
    • willie on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “As we move towards an election voters might do well to reflect on how this Scottish Government have made provision…Apr 11, 10:39
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Not So Octopus: “Salmond bequeathed us a sparkling oasis. Sturgeon left us a foetid swamp. Swinney is key-holder of the toxic taphouse.Apr 11, 10:27
    • James Che on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “AI generated or father and son?Apr 11, 10:17
    • James Che on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “These English registered politicians encouraging perversion sitting in Scotland would be outed if Scots recognised that they are not in…Apr 11, 10:14
    • James Che on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “The pedo nest preying like vultures on innocent humans are like an alien species, In day past politicians would have…Apr 11, 10:00
    • Alf Baird on Not So Octopus: ““Why is the name in English and not Scots?” Alliance tae Leeberate Scotland Pairty. Thair, sortit!Apr 11, 09:20
    • Andy Ellis on Not So Octopus: “@YL 2.04am Same old same old from you and the usual suspects then YL? No no actual ideas, no constructive…Apr 11, 09:03
    • Aidan on Not So Octopus: “Why doesn’t Sarah start a fundraiser to have this abusive nut job “James” sent to North Rona for three months?…Apr 11, 08:54
    • Iain More on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “On matters of belief – I dont belie the latest Opinion Poll giving the SNP 67 seats and the Greens…Apr 11, 06:13
    • Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “Why are the Unionists here so intolerably kiss-ass to the site host? Yeah yeah they’ll dissemble and talk boll0x but…Apr 11, 02:04
    • Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “Wilma Flintstone.. I.e. failed Reform candidate (yup folks- a failed Reform candidate 🙂 🙂 🙂 ) Yeah! I know, hilarious…Apr 11, 00:51
    • Young Lochinvar on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Beggars “Your” Not “Our” Are you another Cotswold based Right wing paid spammer? Looks like it.. (Old boy)..Apr 11, 00:37
    • Tony L on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “He wasn’t there again today I wish that man would go awayApr 10, 21:00
    • Blunt Gaper on Not So Octopus: “Too long. With the implosion of Your Party concentrating the nutter vote firmly in Green hands Q Manivanman is my…Apr 10, 20:44
    • Black Joan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Great work. Thank you. As someone has already pointed out, a “Charles” Rennie has crept into the text, when the…Apr 10, 19:37
    • Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “What do we expect when the colony advertises and recruits for all its top jobs in the metropolitan capital of…Apr 10, 19:11
    • Northcode on Not So Octopus: ““This song is brilliant lol” Brilliant, indeed. Professionally produced anti-Trump Persian propaganda. Clever rap rhetoric wrapped in visual rhetoric and…Apr 10, 19:08
    • Northcode on Not So Octopus: ““The knives will no doubt be out for him cause the Union fears him.” Aye, Geri, there’s no doubt about…Apr 10, 18:47
    • Insider on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “quote….. “A row has broken out over public funding of almost £2 million for LGBT Youth Scotland, a teenage gay…Apr 10, 18:32
    • twathater on Not So Octopus: “Well said Young Lochinvar you are a seer who has described the beggar admirablyApr 10, 18:24
    • Karen on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Also, what is he wearing? A pinstripe shiruit?Apr 10, 17:45
    • Karen on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well done again Stu! They force all the women out so the nonces (and their handmaidens) are all that’s left.…Apr 10, 17:28
    • Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: ““Do You Believe In ThelRev Stuart Campbell?” ====+ ChatGPT is having an AI hallucination -or HAD one. It identified our…Apr 10, 16:28
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