As is often the case with Scottish newspapers these days, the story was based entirely on a fantasy – IF a certain number of people did a certain thing (flee to England to escape a 1p income tax rise), which the story doesn’t provide a shred of evidence to suggest they’re going to do, then a bad thing would happen.
Late last night in the House Of Commons saw one of the most significant votes in the history of UK constitutional politics. A group of Scottish Tory MPs voted to oppose an amendment which would have protected the central building block of Scottish (and Welsh) devolution – the principle that any powers not explicitly reserved are devolved – from the UK government’s attempted huge power grab under the cover of Brexit.
Last night they could have fixed it by supporting the amendment (backed by every other Scottish MP right across party lines), which would have tipped the arithmetic and ensured its success. Instead they betrayed every voter in Scotland – including their own – by waving the bill through unamended and passing the buck to the unelected House Of Lords, which has no representatives from Scotland’s most popular party.
This morning, BBC Scotland led on the fact that it snowed a bit in Scotland in January.
On a number of previous occasions we’ve highlighted the weird discrepancy between the undivided loathing of the Offensive Behaviour (Football) Act in the Scottish media and the Act’s overwhelming popularity with the Scottish public.
You will struggle to ever hear a voice anywhere in the media in favour of it, yet there has never been a law in the history of the Holyrood parliament that is as universally backed by the electorate as the OBFA. Support for it crosses party lines, unites men and women, the old and the young, the rich and the poor, Yes voters and No voters, Celtic fans and “Rangers” fans, football lovers and football haters, and pretty much any other groups you can think of.
Despite their own voters wanting to retain it, however, the combined opposition parties may well succeed in having the Act repealed this year, for reasons of their own that we can’t begin to rationally explain.
Meanwhile, every party at Holyrood – this time including the SNP – looks as though they may be preparing to come together and implement the LEAST-wanted legislation (in terms of public opinion) that the Parliament will have ever seen.
Yesterday at Holyrood the Scottish Liberal Democrats, in the name of Orkney MSP Liam McArthur, brought forward a motion of no confidence in Police Scotland, which was calmly but stingingly rebutted by Scottish Police Federation chair Calum Steele on Twitter. A debate went ahead in the chamber, of which the outcome was the below:
So the Lib Dems lost, Labour lost, the Greens lost, the Tories lost and the SNP lost. We’re glad that’s all cleared up and was a valuable use of everyone’s time, then.
We’ll be honest, readers – if this doesn’t make you want to leave the UK all by itself, it may be that there’s nothing that ever will and we should just give up.
(Alternative titles considered for this piece included Live And Please Let Die, Doctor Oh God No, The Barely-Living Daylights and Quantum Of Bollocks.)
Ruth Davidson finally emerged today from a summer of hiding from press stories about her racist and sectarian councillors and MSPs to give a bizarre, nervy and gabbling interview to Good Morning Scotland.
Highlights included calling Show Racism The Red Card an “anti-Semitic” organisation and proposing the building of eight entire new towns in Scotland (the funding source and potential locations for this colossal undertaking were not specified), all filled with social housing which would nevertheless be for sale under Right To Buy.
(Which if it could somehow magically be done would of course lead to the homes being quickly sold at heavy discounts, leaving councils insufficient money to fund their replacements and creating another massive housing bubble and crisis.)
But our very favourite bit was when (at 2h 17m) she said this:
To be honest, readers, if we encountered a 30-sq-foot drunk waving a broken glass around in a pub, we’d just be looking for the door as fast as possible. But clearly Ruth Davidson frequents different sorts of bars to us.
So just for a bit of light-hearted Friday fun, we thought we’d ask: what WOULD you say to that person in that situation?
We’ll be honest with you here, readers – even though it’s only July, when it comes to sheer ham-fisted, tin-eared, clown-shoed, foot-shooting idiocy we didn’t think anything in Scottish politics in 2017 could possibly top the SNP’s decision that the surefire way to win back voters after a poor election result was literally mutilating puppies.
After all, that’s the sort of thing you say as a self-evidently ludicrous and hyperbolic joke: “Ha ha, the SNP are so dominant in Scotland these days that the only way they could lose an election would be if Nicola Sturgeon went on telly and started hacking the tails off week-old puppy-dogs without anaesthetic! LOL!!!!!”
It couldn’t even be defended as a grotesque but cynically cunning attempt to win votes from the rural hunting-and-fishing lobby – they did it right AFTER the election, when all those people had just gone out and voted Tory anyway.
But bless their hearts, Scottish Labour never once saw a low bar that they didn’t try to slither under, and today they pulled off the seemingly impossible.
Deep in the summer news desert, the papers today are struggling for material again. The Sunday Herald has a shock-horror front-page exposé about some photos from an Orange Lodge party that turn out to be from 2010 and 2013, while the Scottish Mail On Sunday reaches all the way back to 1940 to fill a couple of pages.
Today’s Daily Record has a swipe at Jeremy Corbyn for, well, let’s call them “mixed messages” over a second independence referendum. It suggests his Scottish branch manager Kezia Dugdale would have “her head in her hands” over his latest comments, which is a bit rich considering Dugdale’s own history on the subject.
And since her headline boast when she took over as leader of the North British office was that people would know exactly what Labour stood for (and indeed she spent all of the weekend’s keynote Sunday Politics interview listing all the things she’d been very very clear about), we thought we’d have a recap and see how that was going.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
Young Lochinvar on Before Action: “One to sadly note tomorrow; Disgusting anniversary of the 1305 judicial show-trial and judicial show-murder mob spectacle of William Wallace…” Aug 22, 01:31
Old John on Before Action: “One hopes that, as the “Turbulent Priest” of the 21st century, you will not suffer the same fate as Thomas…” Aug 22, 01:29
Young Lochinvar on Before Action: “Amen to that.” Aug 22, 01:12
gm on Before Action: “It confused me after the referendum, everything had changed. It took me until 2018/2019 to get a handle on it.…” Aug 21, 23:09
Captain Caveman on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “”did you think you acquitted yourself well yesterday?” In comparison to you, my meths-imbibing, solvent-sniffing pal? Fuck yeah. Who wouldn’t?…” Aug 21, 22:55
Stevie on Before Action: “All the Brit political parties are disgusting, but the worst is the SNP – they betrayed everything and everyone including…” Aug 21, 22:27
GM on Before Action: “Good news is shy these days. Well done to councillor Higgins. Any analysis yet on the repercussions?” Aug 21, 21:54
GM on Before Action: “Absolutely spot on. The paid UK trolls on here are similar to the paid UK trolls squatting under an upturned…” Aug 21, 21:44
Alf Baird on Before Action: ““When did the Indy movement become the post colonial movement?” I think you may mean ‘become the liberation movement’. According…” Aug 21, 21:21
Mark Beggan on Before Action: ““You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes you get what you need.” A Rolling Stones…” Aug 21, 20:17
James on Before Action: “That right, aye, Einstein?” Aug 21, 19:56
Alf Baird on Before Action: “Scotland is not “the colonialist mother country”, Hatey, that’s the country next door that annexed us in 1707 and has…” Aug 21, 19:55
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “come on then caveman and spartan – say something interesting, or insightful, or the slightest bit funny that indicates an…” Aug 21, 19:39
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Badges? Badges! We don’t need no stinking badges!” Aug 21, 18:32
twathater on Before Action: “So gobshite what are you doing about making Scotland a better place ,who did you and your fellow unionists vote…” Aug 21, 18:29
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “If you’re coming to the colony, form an orderly queue behind the flood of formerly oppressed and crushed colonised victims…” Aug 21, 18:06
Captain Caveman on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Another day, another stellar display of rank, ignorant stupidity I see Confused. You’d be banned anywhere else, ten times over.” Aug 21, 18:03
Mark Beggan on Before Action: ““What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play Life is a Colony, old chum Come…” Aug 21, 17:45
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Very true, Alf, we can only imagine. In fact, the rest of us don’t even have to imagine while we…” Aug 21, 17:36
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “No referendum, section 30, or UDI required? It’s bold, James, but I guess you wouldn’t have posted it if you…” Aug 21, 17:29
Spartan 117 on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “You can’t help yourself, can you. You’ve just proven my point, yet again. What an arse to make of yourself,…” Aug 21, 17:14
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “The cash incentive is one thing but I prefer, ” tell us what we want to know or it is…” Aug 21, 17:10
Alf Baird on Before Action: ““The Scottish establishment will always kowtow to Westminster until we manage to get out from under the “union”.” Yes sarah,…” Aug 21, 16:03
Gavin on The Aims Of Justice: “Thank you for sticking with this, Stu. What you are doing is really important. Without your courage and tenacity, we…” Aug 21, 15:37
James Che on Before Action: “All this effects and affects how the law is dealt with in Scotland. If a Colonial Country comes to light…” Aug 21, 15:35
James Che on Before Action: “For instance is the 1800 Anglo- Irish agreement in 1800 with the parliament of England or the supposed parliament of…” Aug 21, 15:27
James Che on Before Action: “Alf, Indeed this is not Scots laws but the justice and laws of England, That said Scots know now that…” Aug 21, 15:18
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “I reckon the Scottish establishment will fight this with every means at their disposal. If they lose the legal battle…” Aug 21, 14:37
And Spouse on Before Action: “What is the chance that there might be a long game here. If they, SNP, can summon up the money…” Aug 21, 14:21
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “arday got the martyr’s death alright – he also fills a more pagan role; the “fool”, the “king for a…” Aug 21, 14:18