Remember this guy? Go on, give it a minute, it’ll come to you.
He popped up today to chuck in his tuppence-worth about inflammatory language in politics, and how – like everything else bad – it all started with vile cybernats in 2014 (because as you’ll of course remember, it was Yes supporters who never shut up about “surrendering”) and has now sullied even the dignified halls of Westminster.
You now have less than 24 hours left to secure your copy of our intermittent cartoonist Mr Cairns’ latest beautifully-crafted volume of biting political satire featuring a cute lion. (No, not the one pictured below.)
For the love of God please don’t upset him or we’ll get more like this.
So the Supreme Court has delivered its brutal verdict. The prorogation of Parliament was completely unlawful and now, in effect, never happened. Parliament is officially still in session. The same Parliament that has stupendously failed to solve Brexit for three years can reconvene and continue to fail to solve it. What now?
Jeremy Corbyn stood up a few minutes ago at the Labour conference and demanded that Boris Johnson stand down immediately and hold a general election, as did several other opposition leaders. Which, alert readers may recall, is what Johnson tried to do, twice, barely a fortnight ago, and was blocked by the opposition.
Presumably if he tries again, they all now have to cooperate and vote for it, even though the dissolution of Parliament would render the Benn bill requiring him to ask the EU for an extension first null and void. So there’ll be a general election held on the subject of “Who rules the country – the people or the courts?”, which is what Johnson wanted all along. Um, victory?
.
PS Fun trivia fact: UK electoral law requires 25 working days between the dissolution of Parliament and the date of a general election. There are exactly 27 working days (inclusive) between now and 31 October.
A few minutes later, Momentum activist Cathleen Clarke and former Tony Blair adviser John McTernan appeared on Sky News to sort it all out for confused viewers.
(Editor’s note: as a result of this cartoon, Mr Cairns has been sent on mandatory administrative leave of absence to let’s call it a “health spa” for the next two weeks. While he’s receiving let’s call it “therapy”, fill the gap by purchasing the latest volume of his works, which is guaranteed not to contain this one, we can only hope and pray.) .
Yeah, we know, that could be a really long article. But we have a specific thing in mind.
Over the last few days, Jo Swinson and Willie Rennie have both endured toe-curling interviews trying to defend the comically-indefensible hypocrisy of the party’s positions on Brexit and independence.
(If you haven’t been following, official policy now is that a Lib Dem election win is a clear and unimpeachable mandate to carry out their manifesto promises, but an SNP election win isn’t a mandate to carry out theirs.)
But it’s not the mere crass, transparent hypocrisy that makes them stupid.
In normal times we’d at least find today’s landmark defeat of the UK government in a Scottish court amusing. But these are not normal times, and at the present moment our toxic loathing of every politician in Westminster makes it a bitter fruit.
Although we must admit this bit still did manage to raise a smile:
(The reason, incidentally, is that the English High Court wasn’t sitting in August.)
What does it all actually mean, though? Well, nothing good.
Supporters of the opposition’s plan to block a no-deal Brexit have been proclaiming vindication this weekend over a couple of polls which show significantly lower support for the Tories, and a lead for Labour, in the event that a general election is called after 31 October with Brexit not having happened.
In that scenario, Tory voters tell pollsters that they’re more likely to defect to the Brexit Party, and the resulting split in the Brexit vote appears to point towards a Labour-led government if you plug the figures into a site like Electoral Calculus.
The reality is much more complicated than that. But what we’re specifically interested in is how it would affect the chances of securing a second indyref, so let’s take a look.
agentx on Seven Days Too Long: “Unlike a lot of people on here I have never voted SNP and never will do.” May 4, 12:07
Cynicus on Seven Days Too Long: ““Hope some folk read this so that they can see ‘both votes SNP’ are utterly wasteful. “ ========== Like the…” May 4, 11:42
Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “@ Geri Johnny-come-lately Aidan’s is just the latest of a long series of agitators to rock up btl. He’s no…” May 4, 10:30
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Well Scots withdrew them from Westminster. This will be SNPs first real test at Holyrood. The last Holyrood election was…” May 4, 10:12
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “See AI Dan, this is why yer thick as shit. GERS figures are based on CURRENT spending habits of being…” May 4, 09:44
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “It would not take many Scottish elections to reduce and eventual delete Colonialism , faster than the mandates given to…” May 4, 09:18
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Scotland simply removes the Colonial political parties from Scotland wether they are english registered and at the same time remove…” May 4, 09:02
diabloandco on Seven Days Too Long: “1. ote Counting: Each party’s total votes are counted. 2. Initial Quotient: For the first seat, each party’s quotient is…” May 4, 08:57
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “The Farage Fear Factors, What about the batshit crazy green goblins,” May 4, 08:51
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “Curious to see how how the vote count for SNP could hold a majority successful outcome if people in Scotland…” May 4, 08:46
Aidan on Seven Days Too Long: “Feel free Geri, to post a link to the high quality and detailed analysis which shows that an independent Scotland…” May 4, 08:01
Aidan on Seven Days Too Long: “What a pleasure it is to wake up to yet another rabies-induced psychotic rant from Geri. Quite frankly how her/it…” May 4, 07:53
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Who is saying we’ll be billions in debt after independence? What do we owe? Zero. Who do we owe it…” May 4, 02:39
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Just a suggestion but I wonder if AtLS has ever reached out to Phantom Power to work together? They used…” May 4, 00:50
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “To lock out other independent parties. Sturgeon boasted herself, live on telly, she’d rather work with yoons than with Alex…” May 3, 22:35
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “The Farage Fear Factor, Trump Derangement Syndrome. The Tit Whisperer, Dirty Filthy Labour and Queers for Terrorists. Yes indeed. The…” May 3, 22:12
sarah on Seven Days Too Long: “2016 SNP list vote gained NIL seats. 2021 SNP list vote [over 1 million of them] gained 2 seats. If…” May 3, 21:58
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “They’re as thick as shit. No wonder the Eppy class shafts them. Dumb doff capping serfs only have the attention…” May 3, 20:53
Iain More on Seven Days Too Long: “Get a life yah toxic wee Sassanach Troll” May 3, 20:04
Aidan on Seven Days Too Long: “No Insider is right Alf, James Cheyne has lost the plot” May 3, 19:34
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “These people that told you this are they still in your head?” May 3, 19:31
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “When you are right and everyone else is wrong usually means a mental breakdown. How’s the sex change going?” May 3, 19:19
Iain More on Seven Days Too Long: “It is a waste of time asking for a Section 30. Scotland isn’t going to get one whatever. The Yoons…” May 3, 19:05
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “I have always liked the unionist on here as they are so helpful in making my post entertaining when they…” May 3, 18:57
Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “Raising a glass of fine malt single whiskey to Graham Linehan. A soldier in the war against evil.” May 3, 18:54
James Che on Seven Days Too Long: “As I mentioned these records of the non- union with Scotland can be researched and checked out, The dummies are…” May 3, 18:50
twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “Unfortunately for you James Che makes more sense with her contributions than you ever did with your constant support for…” May 3, 18:06