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Spoiler Alert 295

Posted on June 20, 2023 by

Still wondering what Humza Yousaf’s going to say to the SNP’s pretend “conference” on independence strategy this coming Saturday? Well, wonder no longer, because this morning he told Sky News.

In other words, he’s waving the white flag and praying for a miracle.

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Yellow for timewasting 351

Posted on June 18, 2023 by

Well, no wonder they’re having trouble shifting tickets.

Because that’s all you’re getting for your tenner, SNP members.

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Hostile takeover 73

Posted on June 17, 2023 by

Inspired by this tweet:

We thought we’d try the idea out.

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Mixed messaging 34

Posted on June 17, 2023 by

A man hears what he wants to hear 97

Posted on June 16, 2023 by

This quote:

Does not say this:

No matter how much we’re all desperate for a story.

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Humza Yousaf’s Last Week 132

Posted on June 16, 2023 by

So this is pretty embarrassing.

The Scottish National Party’s primary and defining purpose is Scottish independence. Next weekend’s “special conference” will at least notionally determine its policy on that subject for years to come. On the face of it it’s the most important congregation of party members in the SNP’s history.

The Caird Hall can accommodate just 3% of the claimed membership. (And you’d expect at least half the seats to have been reserved in advance for the faithful payroll.) Members ought to be fighting like dogs for a ticket. And yet a week before the event the leader is having to send out pleading letters to try to scare up enough attendees that it won’t be a half-empty humiliation.

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Kirsty Blackman’s Genitals 424

Posted on June 13, 2023 by

Some of you still won’t have seen them, er, we mean “this”:

While it may have been the funniest – and Joanna Cherry silently spoke for every sane person in the nation as it went on – remarkably it wasn’t even the stupidest or most offensive part of her speech to yesterday’s Parliamentary debate in Westminster Hall about the definition of “sex” in the Equality Act.

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The Queen Of All The Cretins 180

Posted on June 12, 2023 by

Nicola Sturgeon has not been charged with any crime. Yesterday she was arrested, questioned and released without charge pending further investigation. We do not even know which specific suspected crime or crimes she was questioned in connection with, so it is manifestly impossible to meaningfully speculate on her innocence or guilt (save of course for the fact that all are innocent in the eyes of the law until proven otherwise, something Sturgeon herself often appears to forget).

Nevertheless, in Scotland the Contempt Of Court Act 1981 applies from the moment a person is arrested, as the country’s most senior lawyer and its official prosecution service were both keen to remind people yesterday in the clearest possible terms, and it applies equally whether you’re asserting someone’s guilt or their innocence.

So you need to be a really extra-special class of boneheaded numbwit to do this:

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The topical news quiz 96

Posted on June 11, 2023 by

Your first question, Ian Murray: who is the First Minister and leader of the SNP?

Ooh, sorry, zero points.

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Now it’s all out 71

Posted on June 11, 2023 by

Welcome to Cell Club, Nicola.

Developing a complex 122

Posted on June 10, 2023 by

Wings two days ago: “The SNP wants to do a devo-max deal with Labour”.

The SNP today: “We’re prepared to do a devo-max deal with Labour”.

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The heavy lifting 83

Posted on June 10, 2023 by

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    • twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “Geri I have taken out shares in SAVLON due to you continually BURNING hatey Mc Fuckwit ,Aydan and the cave…May 3, 03:03
    • Cynicus on Seven Days Too Long: “I had the same porn site links problem some days ago. Exactly as described above. I assumed that I’d been…May 3, 01:06
    • Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “IM Maybe there are more queers than has been credited to date.. Not forgetting egg lovers of course..May 3, 00:39
    • Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “Beggars @ 11.45 Pot and kettle Ad0lf..May 3, 00:33
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    • Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “He should have been shot.May 2, 23:24
    • James on Seven Days Too Long: “What’s the collective noun for three unionist pricks in a row on a Scottish independence website? Is it “three pricks”?May 2, 21:51
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    • James on Seven Days Too Long: “Just close down “BBC Scotchland” : it’s all lies anyway….. but that won’t happen, will it?May 2, 21:22
    • Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “You’ll go blind watching that stuff 🙂May 2, 21:11
    • James on Seven Days Too Long: ““Second this comment from Confused.” Thirded. Funny eh, any time the ALLIANCE TO LIBERARE SCOTLAND gets mentioned there’s a pile…May 2, 21:08
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    • Iain More on Seven Days Too Long: “Yet another Opinion Poll projecting an SNP majority. I dont get it. They have had virtually zero donations and the…May 2, 20:22
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Seven Days Too Long: “‘SNP’S FERGUS EWING CLAIMS SIX CIVIL SERVANTS AND ADVISERS PLOTTED TO JAIL FORMER FIRST MINISTER ALEX SALMOND’ (By MIchael Blackley,…May 2, 20:21
    • Towbar Sullivan on Seven Days Too Long: “Ballycogley Independent Orange Lodge will be taking part in the annual Orange March in Rossnowlagh on Saturday 11th of July.…May 2, 20:16
    • Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “Beggars @ 2.46 Spaffed probably. At least there’s a court case pending (hopefully).. On the subject of wasted money, what…May 2, 19:46
    • Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “Geri @ 1.31 Game set and match Geri! Just handed Hatey his fundamental on a platter 🙂 🙂 Brilliant! No…May 2, 19:32
    • DeL G on Seven Days Too Long: “What a classic response! Thank you for your sympathy! It’s gone now. Either it vanished all by itself or stu…May 2, 19:30
    • Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “O/T I see that the BBC is making cuts to it’s News operation but this is the part that interested…May 2, 19:00
    • Alf Baird on Seven Days Too Long: “Aye, an whaur’s the £150 billion+ per year missin fae oor Scottish GDP, Mark? https://yoursforscotlandcom.wordpress.com/2024/03/19/the-real-economic-price-of-the-uk-union-for-scots/comment-page-1/May 2, 18:00
    • Sven on Seven Days Too Long: “Geri @ 16.19. The vids I’ve seen show one cop & what I’m guessing is a Jewish security guy trying…May 2, 17:23
    • Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “Geri. You are saying exactly what Polanski said. If you believe what you said is true, why did Polanski apologise…May 2, 17:13
    • Bilbo on Seven Days Too Long: “I don’t see text links text links to predominantly sex websites when I look at this site. Sounds like your…May 2, 16:50
    • twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “Fearghas I’m afraid I don’t share your enthusiasm about the integrity and honesty of Fergus Ewing , he along with…May 2, 16:23
    • Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Sven, Allegedly – they set about kicking him in the head AFTER he had already been incapacitated & tasered. What’s…May 2, 16:19
    • 100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “Goes anyone know if Dave Llewellyn has a YouTube I know he used to do Twa Auld Heids?May 2, 15:50
    • Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Cave Dweller Wot? Like Jean Charles de Menezes? Just brutal overkill by thugs acting “On a hunch” It’s documented fact…May 2, 15:35
    • Captain Caveman on Seven Days Too Long: “@Sven I think most decent people think this guy deserved all he got and more; got off very lightly indeed.…May 2, 14:50
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