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Archive for the ‘idiots’


Little Green Rooster 271

Posted on October 03, 2020 by

The Run-Aways 106

Posted on September 30, 2020 by

Incredible, really. Just one day after we accuse the SNP of trying to dodge its problems by hiding from them and censoring anyone who brings them up, this happens:

Plenty of SNP members, including the party’s former Trade And Industry spokesman, know this approach is untenable. It really is time the SNP started listening to them. A party that scurries away bleating in terror every time it’s threatened with the slightest scrutiny is plainly not capable of winning the hard fight for independence.

Bonfire of the ironies 158

Posted on September 27, 2020 by

Some days it’s not even worth trying to get your jaw off the floor.

Yeah, THAT Neil Mackay.

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Dark waters 245

Posted on September 12, 2020 by

Let’s just kill ourselves 230

Posted on September 05, 2020 by

Bad news, readers. We’ve done some research, and it’s our grave duty to report to you that according to the evidence we’ve discovered, there’s a high statistical probability that everyone reading this website will one day die.

Luckily there’s a solution: we can all just commit suicide right now.

Wait – that’s a stupid idea, right?

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Last nights of the proms 49

Posted on September 05, 2020 by

Selling the jerseys 308

Posted on September 03, 2020 by

Let’s be clear about something straight away – we’re NOT about to write an article in defence of Tony Abbott. He IS a sexist, a misogynist and a climate change denier (and a homophobe), and as far as we can ascertain he’s NOT actually all that good at trade either. So even though the bar for improving the competence of the UK government is astonishingly low, we don’t want him in it any more than anyone else does.

But this is still an incredibly brainless thing to say:

And it explains a lot about what’s gone wrong everywhere.

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For certain purposes 132

Posted on August 31, 2020 by

We suppose we should be happy to learn that Scottish Government ministers are at least still sometimes capable of understanding that men and women are different and there are times when it’s inappropriate for men to be in women’s spaces.

We just wish they didn’t keep reminding us of something so much.

We really hope the 27% of Scots who already think the Sun revolves around the Earth isn’t getting bigger.

You Are The Boris Johnson 174

Posted on August 21, 2020 by

Much as we might wish otherwise, we haven’t been able to help noticing other pro-indy websites doubling down on the “BOTH VOTES SNP, TRUST IN QUEEN NICOLA, THE 10TH MANDATE IS THE ONE THAT’LL WORK!” routine lately.

And however much we’ve tried to get people to grasp the seemingly-obvious fact that Boris Johnson is not looking at this debate from the same viewpoint we all are, reality doesn’t seem to be getting through to everyone yet.

So we thought we’d try a new tack.

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Darwin’s Failures 305

Posted on August 20, 2020 by

The BBC ran a completely insane story this week about a transman (ie a mentally ill woman) who almost died of kidney failure because she didn’t tell her doctors what sex she really was. The standout paragraph was probably the one pictured below, in which the atom-brained narcissist imbecile explained to a startled nation that apparently having a mental disorder also changes your physical biology:

(Also, y’know, “cute and awesome!” is definitely how men talk.)

But anyway. When we commission opinion polls, we’ve often noted that in any given poll you can expect around 5-10% of respondents to vote for even the most seemingly ridiculous options – either as a “joke”, or because they’re too dim to have understood the question, or whatever.

And last week we thought we’d put that to the test.

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Kartoon Klown Korner 202

Posted on August 15, 2020 by

Our regular weekend comedian Chris Cairns is off on a golf holiday this weekend (in fairness he’s only had four so far this year and it’s already August), but this is a sicker joke than anything he’s ever come up with.

We haven’t covered Martin Keating’s court case because we have some unanswered concerns about its transparency and communication, but it’s doing just fine without us, having passed £100,000 of its £155,000 funding target earlier today.

It’s bad enough that some random activist is having to do this and pay for it when the Scottish Government – who SHOULD have been doing it three years ago – sits with its thumb up its hole staring out of the window, but having their representatives actively attack and try to sabotage it is disgusting to a degree we can barely find words for.

We’ve had our fair share of doubts about stuff of late, but if Scottish independence achieved nothing more than putting a useless wage-stealing tosser like Pete Wishart out of a cushy Westminster job-for-life, it’d be worth doing for that alone.

A plague of fools 265

Posted on August 14, 2020 by

Sometimes people are so stupid it’s legitimately scary. For example, all the Unionist politicians in Scotland who appear to genuinely think voters won’t notice that the recent exams catastrophe affected England (run by the Tories) and Wales (run by Labour) even worse than it did Scotland, and so they keep screaming for John Swinney’s head while having nothing to say about the even worse messes bursting all over their own parties’ respective jurisdictions.

(Esler misses the fact that the “deletions” were all actually retweets of a single tweet on the Scottish Conservatives which was deleted, but the point is the same.)

It genuinely boggles our mind that anyone, let alone a professional politician whose job it is to have their finger on the public pulse, could possibly imagine they’d ever get away with such utterly brainless naked hypocrisy, apparently believing that voters have memories less than 24 hours long and enjoy having their intelligence insulted.

(Incidentally, we can’t see any good answer to the exams problem. Either you have one year of massively artificially inflated grades, with all the tricky ramifications that presents further down the line, or you have a year of grotesque injustices to thousands of blameless individual students that are logistically impossible to remedy. The former is probably the lesser of the two evils, which poses the question of why the Scottish Government was too monumentally dim to see it coming and why it wasted a week defending the latter option before inevitably caving in and doing the sensible thing it was always going to have to do and should have just done in the first place.)

But it’s not just politicians.

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    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “I still think my Time Machine plan is the only feasible way to solve this conundrum.Aug 22, 09:59
    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “So it’s open season on the 50% who aren’t women? Or is Burnham in the grip of the trannies, trying…Aug 22, 09:50
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Neither would I. As long as they don’t shit in parks.Aug 22, 09:47
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Andy Burnham s pamphlet; Don’t rape women. Don’t try to swim with your clothes on. Welcome to Britain!Aug 22, 09:37
    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Sorry, James, but I don’t think you and I share a common definition of “officially”. More generally, I think you…Aug 22, 09:31
    • Mark Beggan on Before Action: “They really get in the way of a good fantasy. With their bloody referendums and democratic processes. Stalin never had…Aug 22, 09:28
    • Aidan on Before Action: “How incredibly boringAug 22, 09:26
    • James Che on Before Action: “Mark, I would never suggest any other nation of these Island are parasites, that want parts of England to become…Aug 22, 09:25
    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “And yet it’s an easily verifiable fact there are more Scots living in England than English living in Scotland. Given…Aug 22, 09:22
    • James Che on Before Action: “Retaining the SNP in a pretendy Scottish parliament and a supposed treaty that was never concluded whilst not being adhered…Aug 22, 09:15
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    • James Che on Before Action: “As you stated Hatey, to quote yourself, the 1707 treaty of union is old guff, and nobody pays attention to…Aug 22, 08:58
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    • Robert on Before Action: “The charity has done wrong, obvioulsy. The consequeces for the individuals in the charity would depend on whether they had…Aug 22, 08:42
    • James Che on Before Action: “It sounds bold, In what sense? If “we ” Scotland are not in a treaty. And treaty articles is not…Aug 22, 08:42
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    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “That’s all very well, GM, but if you want to be taken seriously on here, learn to drop quotes from…Aug 22, 08:22
    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Seems a trifle harsh, Auld Lochnagar, given that there’s in excess of 200,000 Scots living in London. You should apologise…Aug 22, 08:00
    • Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Ah c’moan noo, Confused. Shooting’s fer gurlies. Dust aff yer moby gas chambers. Ye hivnae fantasised aboot them for a…Aug 22, 07:50
    • Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Zat a fact, Alf? Must only be a fact you can maintain by resolutely refusing to ever look at maps…Aug 22, 07:42
    • Young Lochinvar on Before Action: “Meant to add; for the best impression of The Wallace see the excellent wall mural on Castlegate in Lanark.Aug 22, 03:28
    • Young Lochinvar on Before Action: “One to sadly note tomorrow; Disgusting anniversary of the 1305 judicial show-trial and judicial show-murder mob spectacle of William Wallace…Aug 22, 01:31
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    • Young Lochinvar on Before Action: “Amen to that.Aug 22, 01:12
    • gm on Before Action: “It confused me after the referendum, everything had changed. It took me until 2018/2019 to get a handle on it.…Aug 21, 23:09
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    • Stevie on Before Action: “All the Brit political parties are disgusting, but the worst is the SNP – they betrayed everything and everyone including…Aug 21, 22:27
    • GM on Before Action: “Good news is shy these days. Well done to councillor Higgins. Any analysis yet on the repercussions?Aug 21, 21:54
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