As readers may already be aware, my main hobby to distract myself from my day job in the profoundly depressing world of politics is to delve into retro videogaming via my Retropie. It’s an endlessly rewarding fount of discovery and entertainment for many reasons, but sometimes the two spheres collide in extremely unexpected ways.
So let’s talk about GORF.
Midway’s 1981 arcade hit was a pioneering and innovative game. It was the first game to be comprised of multiple highly distinct sub-games, boldly including direct lifts of other people’s coin-ops in the form of Space Invaders and Galaxian. And while it wasn’t the first arcade game to feature synthesised speech – it was beaten to that punch by the likes of Berzerk and Wizard Of Wor the previous year – it was famous for the extensive and iconic vocabulary with which it taunted and goaded the player.
It got numerous conversions of variable quality to various home systems, whether as contemporary licences or later homebrew ports, and that’s where we come in.
It’s taken me four weeks to write this, because I barely knew where to start.
Channel 4 showed the singular and vastly wonderful The Banshees Of Inisherin at the weekend, and as brilliant as it is in its own right, it also came loaded with all sorts of resonances and finally prodded me into action.
The equally singular and wonderful Jonathan Nash, who will be known to readers of this isolated and quiet island parish under a variety of names, died last month, of death. It was sudden yet expected, and in those respects very much the opposite of the man himself.
The Spectrum community is arguably more on top of the machine’s history than any other in the world of gaming, so it’s always quite noteworthy when something and/or someone escapes its notice entirely. And so it is with Lukasz Kur.
The screenshot above is of a game called a_e Adventure, or sometimes a_e in King Chrum’s Gold Mines. (According to Kur the character’s name represents “a portion of a forum member’s user name which inadvertantly looked like an emoticon of sorts – a little face with asymetrical eyes.”)
This page lists the various contract tariffs for the imminent iPhone 4S on O2. If you add them up, you get some pretty strange results.
(For the purposes of these calculations, we've worked out the total cost for the term of a 12-month contract, including a £6 "Bolt-On" for 500MB of data, and based on purchasing the 64GB model.)
Not least because I essentially don’t give a shit about the environment. (The result depicted in the image below is from Scottish Vote Compass, and my non-Scotch chums might find it interesting to take the test too.)
I do believe human activities are causing global warming, and that we’re rendering the planet incapable of sustaining human life at a terrifying rate – via greenhouse gases, pollution and overpopulation – to the point where mankind could in my view have well under 100 years left of anything recognisable as our current lifestyle. It’s just that I think that’s a good thing.
Aidan on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “@Alf – if it is the high-quality work you say it is, then why is it published in a student-run…” Aug 18, 21:24
Aidan on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““A distinction is appropriate, here, because Alf has been accused of obsessive references to various writers who deal with Colonialism”…” Aug 18, 21:20
Alf Baird on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “An extensive summary of the ‘Doun-Hauden’ book’s findings and theoretical framework developed to explain Scotland’s colonial condition, inclusive of extensive…” Aug 18, 21:14
Spartan 117 on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “I don’t always agree with Alf however he does make compelling points and makes his points without any disrespect or…” Aug 18, 20:48
Saffron Robe on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “I’m not sure I agree with your conclusion, Stuart. What if independence is the only way to bring about justice?…” Aug 18, 20:28
James Che on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “The devolved Scottish governance is English by nature and law under legislation and Statues from the Westminster parliament in which…” Aug 18, 20:15
Northcode on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Police Scotland’s reply… tone, structure, and meaning. This letter is calm, procedural, factual, standard, professional, and non?reactive. It’s exactly what…” Aug 18, 19:19
Jay on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Anthem and Alanm, your assessment is correct. Thatcher and her associates intended to corrupt potentially democratic politics with a massive…” Aug 18, 18:16
Northcode on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “You’re wrong, Jay. Alf only references those pioneers of postcolonial theory to punt his book, “Doun-Hauden: The Socio-Political Determinants of…” Aug 18, 17:56
Jay on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Confused as to the utility of your comment (referring to J. Arday) for remedy of the ills with which Rev…” Aug 18, 17:24
James Che on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “With Scotland not having a legal parliament of its own, ( as presently its under the legislation and statue’s of…” Aug 18, 16:17
James Che on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “It would appear that Stu is dealing with the wrong Crown offices of England and english laws, not Scots law,…” Aug 18, 16:01
James Che on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Union minded people are beginning to fight a losing battle in its efforts to hold Scotland even as a Colony.…” Aug 18, 15:47
Aidan on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““So universities now teach there is no union between Scotland and England” Which universities teach that?” Aug 18, 15:39
Northcode on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “A fit of boredom came upon me… so I had a closer look at the lawyer’s letter for something to…” Aug 18, 15:30
Jay on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “They say your name is J. Main: you speak only for yourself.” Aug 18, 15:21
James Che on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Just talking to a lady from England with full qualifications on studies on geography and world war one and world…” Aug 18, 15:16
robertkknight on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Agreed, Alf. Ignore the site pricks/usual suspects.” Aug 18, 15:08
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “I was unaware of the correlation between republicanism and Christianity, Spartan. In fact, I thought it was republicans who foisted…” Aug 18, 12:51
Mark Beggan on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Yes Alfie that’s right. Now tell us about your academic journey and any marathons you took part in.” Aug 18, 12:46
Spartan 117 on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “KCIII’s deliberate abandonment of Christianity is just one of the many and varied reasons I am a Republican.” Aug 18, 12:35
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““they are a servile people” “they will always be slaves” Yet one quarter of the world atlas used to be…” Aug 18, 12:32
Hatey McHateface on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““aside from … some traditions of dress” (Fanon). Praise be! I was worried that Professor Baird was about to tell…” Aug 18, 12:24
Captain Caveman on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: ““– I will enjoy watching the muslims r4pe you and your kind into oblivion.” Well, I daresay I shouldn’t be…” Aug 18, 12:20
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “first they came for the autists, but I said nothing as my disability increment was due to ADHD … then…” Aug 18, 12:02
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Hey Caveman – concern yourself less with Scotland and keep tae yir ain midden, your problems are greater https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/08/16/eritrean-man-raped-pensioner-outside-church/ -…” Aug 18, 12:00
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “oh dear. I thought you really had them, this time … Much as I salute your indefatigability and dog with…” Aug 18, 11:48
Nicky T Naquetti on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “It’s not 1707 any more, hen. I swear… whatever the story might be, it could be, say – aliens landing…” Aug 18, 10:27
