Although to be scrupulously fair to General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmany Melchett, he did at least actually launch an offensive from time to time, rather than just putting out occasional half-arsed discussion papers and press releases about it.
The party is now primarily a vehicle for processing cash and funnelling it to carefully selected and ideologically vetted activists, mostly from the fundamentalist youth wing, who are given well-paid jobs working for MPs and MSPs or parachuted into council seats in return for their unquestioning loyalty to Nicola Sturgeon.
And at this, it must be admitted, the SNP is still a highly effective operation. Which is fortunate, because without UK government money it would be bankrupt.
Above are the Electoral Commission’s donation figures for the third quarter of 2022. They note that 100% of the SNP’s reportable income for that period came from the UK government’s coffers – a trait shared with Plaid Cymru, the SDLP and the DUP.
Given that three of those four parties are nationalists committed to removing various constituent parts of the UK, one might almost be tempted to commend Westminster’s generosity. But perhaps it knows exactly what it’s doing.
Word reaches us, readers, that Nicola Sturgeon was “furious” when she joined the most recent meeting of the SNP’s Westminster group by Skype. Her rage was driven by the suggestion that the party should trigger a Holyrood election to act as a de facto independence referendum, a policy we’re reliably told is supported by a number of MPs who are too scared of being browbeaten by Sturgeon in front of their colleagues to actually speak out in favour of it.
(We won’t mention their names at this point.)
Our source mentioned to us that they seemed to remember an interview in which the First Minister had revealed a possible reason for her extreme antipathy to the idea – one for the BBC’s extensive and rather good three-part documentary “Yes/No – Inside The Indyref”, which was broadcast in August 2019 and never seen again.
It’s not available on iPlayer or YouTube, but fortunately we happened to still have the show recorded on our Sky+ box, so we went to check, and lo and behold our source’s recollection was correct. Apologies for the slightly wonky quality of this video, as we had to record it off the TV screen.
You can’t move on social media today without tripping over effusive tweets from SNP MPs and MSPs singing the praises of departed Westminster leader Ian Blackford and admiring all his achievements in the position over the last five years, although weirdly nobody has actually listed any of them.
Or possibly the other way round, we’re not sure. All we know is that we’re always surging upwards and forwards but somehow never actually getting anywhere.
If anyone knows when “this process” will have ended and we’ll get our choice – or indeed what she achieved for Scotland in the Brexit negotiations – do let us know.
It’s more than two years now since we published this article, but it’s worth quickly going over it again, because there’s nothing on Earth more tedious than boneheads on social media going “Oh, you slag off the SNP but what’s YOUR plan if you’re so clever?”, who haven’t bothered to read any of the dozen times we’ve already answered that question since 25 months ago.
This is it. This is our plan. Try listening this time, thickos.
The SNP have been all over the place since Wednesday’s judgement of the Supreme Court. Astonishingly, the party hadn’t prepared an agreed line in the event of the Court ruling against it, with the result that various party figures had popped up with all sorts of different versions of what a supposed plebiscite election would mean.
twathater on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Having watched the news where it was announced with some fanfare that Shabana Mahmood had proposed that certain immigrants should…” Mar 7, 03:08
Cynicus on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Whatever happened to Scottish nationalism?” ========== Is that the right question? I suggest a better one: whatever happened to the…” Mar 7, 00:58
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Bet she reapoears in a Quango. There’s that many quangos no one really knows what and where they are or…” Mar 6, 23:07
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “” I never thought I’d see the day when it was hip and cool to be Right wing”. John Lydon” Mar 6, 22:25
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Lets discuss International Law. Is it made up like gender ideology or is it just made up for cowards to…” Mar 6, 21:59
Geri on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““President Trump is nominating high-caliber and extremely qualified candidates to serve in his administration,” Cheung maintained.” *Takes a look at…” Mar 6, 21:00
diabloandco on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “ooh ! Just the chap one would choose for an extremely important and delicate job eh? Bloody hell! Thanks Turabdin!” Mar 6, 18:47
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “And I read it. Looks like nae ither cant did!” Mar 6, 17:06
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““washing, managing toilet needs” I wonder how many claimants post regularly on here.” Mar 6, 17:00
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Every time you post one of these I get a mental image of you being humiliated and knocked back at…” Mar 6, 16:58
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Deal with it, Cynicus, they’re not going to be herded, two by two, into the gas chambers a second time.…” Mar 6, 16:48
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Does President Trump believe he’s a thousand year old, space traveling Pict, Northy? Naw? Then he’s not as utterly insane…” Mar 6, 16:36
agentx on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““ADP can be worth up to £10,000 a year tax-free and is designed to support people who need help with…” Mar 6, 15:58
TURABDIN on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “apologies….defective link. https://archive.is/CoRTW” Mar 6, 15:54
TURABDIN on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “FOR INFORMATION: https://web.archive.org/web/20241202043621/https://” Mar 6, 15:24
Young Lochinvar on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Sally Donald to repay £20k benefits. Not so cocky now eh?” Mar 6, 14:51
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Do you find it difficult to sleep at night? Waking in cold sweats? Do you find yourself typing frantically, tripping…” Mar 6, 14:22
Confused on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “people get overheated about “zinism!” (is bad mkay) like it was something; but this is a bit like obsessing over…” Mar 6, 13:54
Confused on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “I spy for China. At least I tried to. Told them loads – – faslane is full of nukes -…” Mar 6, 13:48
Cynicus on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Trump is the greatest president since George Washington.”-Mark Beggan ============ Washington, it is said, couldn’t tell a lie. The same…” Mar 6, 13:31
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “God Bless the President of the United States of America. Trump is the greatest president since George Washington. God Bless…” Mar 6, 12:44
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The ‘INSIDE TRUMP’S HEAD’ commentaries with Joanna Coles and Michael Wolff are worth dropping in on: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa4wH_7fDjI” Mar 6, 12:15
Cynicus on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Let us be clear about who is responsible for the conflagration in the Middle East: the pantomime horse USRAEL, certainly.…” Mar 6, 11:58
Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Yes Northcode, ‘unity’ is imperative if an oppressed people are to succeed in the critical final phase of decolonization. Alba…” Mar 6, 11:55
sam on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “More bad than mad. Trump is said to have had mob connections in his early business days – Gambino and…” Mar 6, 11:38
TURABDIN on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “DONALD TRUMP is physically & mentally «unwell» it is the nurses tending him we ought to be concerned with. They…” Mar 6, 10:52
Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “I made a rhyme from Scots words: Ach, aw the dyte and daupit wha wander thru a place. Wir ne’er…” Mar 6, 10:46
Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““So there is no such thing as Scots Law” Institutions in a colony serve only the Imperial Crown. Simply because…” Mar 6, 10:35
Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “If, as Chris Taylor tells us, Hell is the impossibility of reason… then we are all living in Hell right…” Mar 6, 10:00