Wings Over Scotland

Some sage advice from one of your elected representatives.

Let’s all be careful out there, folks.

Diligently alert readers may have noticed that the SNP MP, former vomit-mopper and permanent embarrassment to braincells Stewart McDonald has an article in today’s National about the best way to look like he’s trying to secure independence without risking losing his cosy lucrative job in glamorous London with all his fancy MP pals.

(McDonald is also one of the party’s most virulent advocates of its massively unpopular gender reforms, which isn’t relevant to anything but we’ve got a streak to maintain.)

Unfortunately it’s 4,000 words long and unbearably boring, but since you pay us we’ve taken the bullet for you, read the whole thing and now present it here in précis form:

“Westminster will not recognise a vote of over 50% in a de facto referendum, but it WILL recognise a vote of LESS than 50% as a mandate for another referendum. Even though we’ve already achieved that four times and they’ve refused to recognise it, it’ll be different a fifth time because it just will.”

That’s it. That’s all you missed. As you were.

The title of this article might sound a bit like the name of a band making their debut at Glastonbury this year, but in fact it’s something infinitely more serious.

News broke late last night that the person we must presumably now refer to as an “individual” who had been arrested in connection with the disappearance of a missing Galashiels schoolgirl (happily found safe and well and back home with her parents) had in fact been charged with an as-yet-unspecified crime.

But the alleged crime wasn’t the only thing going unspecified.

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People across Scotland breathed a sigh of relief this morning when missing Galashiels 11-year-old Kaitlyn Easson was found safe and well after a multi-service search.

The police have arrested [EDIT: and now charged] a 53-year-old man in connection with her disappearance, named by the Daily Record as Andrew Miller, a local butcher. This was one of two names that numerous sources had been passing to Wings since the man was detained, but the two names only referred to one person.

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The First Minister has gotten herself into quite a pickle.

But worse, there’s no way out of it.

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Meet Támara Wilson, readers. She likes learning and teaching through humour.

She’s also passionate about “uniting us all in these weird times”. So that’s nice.

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After Wings’ investigation into the disturbing world of “furries” earlier this week, the mainstream press picked up on the quite extraordinary decision by SNP MSP Christina McKelvie to endorse a “counter-protest” being organised by the costume fetishists against a women’s-rights event in Glasgow tomorrow.

Because it appears the SNP are more and more openly throwing their weight behind both extreme sexual kink (and worse) and the intimidation of women.

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Wings readers are by now familiar with the face of Jack/Beth Douglas, the transgender Scottish Greens activist with a long history of abuse and advocating violence against women who is nonetheless feted and worshipped by most of the Scottish Parliament.

Yet even after our extensive revelations about his past last week, not a single MSP has disassociated themselves from him. And now we find ourselves in a position whereby in order to protect other women, we’re forced to direct people’s attention to something we really wish we didn’t have to.

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Get ready to curl your toes, readers, as the excellent journalist and author Ella Whelan puts economy-grade script-reading robot Jenny Gilruth of the SNP on the spot during tonight’s Question Time.

Despite having watched Nicola Sturgeon be tied in embarrassing knots by Douglas Ross on the same question hours earlier, Gilruth was powerless to deviate from the line that self-declared “transgender” rapists are a mysterious and separate species, neither male nor female – Schrodinger’s Rapists, if you will – because otherwise the SNP’s entire gender reform ideology dissolves instantly into mist.

Bepenised individuals who rape women – will we EVER know what they are? Judging by the groans of the studio audience as she blustered away vacuously, everyone in the room but Jenny Gilruth was already pretty sure.

This afternoon’s FMQs was a new low in the career of the First Minister, in which she haplessly let herself be comprehensively humiliated by Douglas Ross, of all people.

Worse than that, though, is that she must surely now be expelled from the SNP.

Hey, we don’t make the rules.

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In a SHOCKING REVELATION that NOBODY COULD HAVE PREDICTED, it turns out that the people of Britain think that putting criminals with penises into women’s prisons maybe isn’t the absolutely best idea.

Just 24% of respondents supported the idea of intact males who’d committed even non-violent and non-sexual crimes being housed alongside women, while a mere 15% – all of them red-flag danger cases in urgent need of having their hard drives checked – thought that rapists and sexual assaulters with their dingle-dangles still swinging in the wind had any business being incarcerated with the vulnerable and traumatised females who make up most of the female prison population.

Four times as many wanted them locked up with their fellow male offenders, while it would appear that approximately a quarter of Britons are whimpering custard-witted doughbrains who didn’t understand the question.

We’ll leave you to digest this startling and unexpected news, readers.

We’re very busy today, but there’s always time for a chuckle.

She’s going to need to buy a ticket to get back into the stadium after that.