Today the Scottish Parliament spent several hours heatedly debating a motion to call for a second Section 30 order to enable a new independence referendum (several more will follow tomorrow before the vote). We watched all of it so you didn’t have to, and are delighted to present you with a few clips that probably won’t make the news.
On such a momentous topic, this was the intervention that Scottish Labour list MSP Monica Lennon felt was the most pressing issue to raise, for example:
We’re very touched, obviously, and will add it to our file of other mentions in the chamber and elsewhere. But there were probably more important things to discuss.
Almost a year ago we ran a short piece mocking a Scotsman headline which claimed that “THOUSANDS” of people had signed a Tory anti-referendum petition, when the actual number was a strictly-accurate-but-pathetic TWO thousand.
We didn’t think that could ever be beaten for technically-true hyperbolic exaggeration, but we’d reckoned without the bold boundary-pushing ingenuity of the Daily Express.
Hundreds of thousands? How many hundreds, exactly?
Because when you really want people with their finger on the pulse of Scottish politics to analyse the implications of the Supreme Court decision on Brexit, where else would you go but to Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff, to hear from um, former rugby league star and haircut pioneer Martin Offiah?
You very rarely get useful stats about online newspaper readership, so we were quite intrigued by this snippet on tonight’s BBC2 Scotland documentary “Paper Thistle”, about the 200th anniversary of The Scotsman.
We don’t know what the numbers are or how brief the period was, but Wings’ average traffic is higher now than it was in 2014, while we suspect The Scotsman is moving in the opposite direction. For a single-issue website to be anywhere even in the same ballpark as a two-centuries-old broadsheet news brand with scores of full-time writers and production staff and a daily newsstand presence is a remarkable thing indeed.
We might start doing classifieds and sport just to see what happens.
The former Chancellor of the Exchequer in today’s Press & Journal:
55-45 is “far more decisive” than 62-38? We think we’re finally beginning to understand why the last Labour government left the British economy in such a mess.
This is the demented, McCarthyite state of madness the Labour Party has reached:
This is a party now openly rejecting anyone as a member who has ever supported any other party. We’d take a minute to try to explain to them how the arithmetic of that one works out, but they’re a long, long way beyond the grasp of reason now.
One thing you can always guarantee on GERS Day is that the latest set of figures for Scotland’s devolved economy inside the UK will trigger another uncontrolled spurt of “SNP HONEYMOON OVER” articles from the nation’s dogged commentariat.
Today we’ve seen already examples (links below) from two ex-Scotsman editors, Iain Martin and Magnus Linklater, the latter popping up in the Times by way of a rather crass and unpleasant analogy involving Oswald Mosley and the Blackshirts.
And since we’d rather watch “Suicide Squad” again than spend any more time going over the arguments about GERS (and trust us, readers, we don’t say that lightly), we thought it’d be more fun if we finally got round to compiling a semi-definitive list of all the times the collective wisdom of Scotland’s media and opposition has confidently predicted the SNP’s imminent demise.
Cynicus on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Sarwar senior went to become Governor of Punjab. However Punjabophiles can relax since the office is not hereditary.” Jul 23, 00:49
Confused on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Question of the day must be : how many times is it permissible to hit a tory on the head…” Jul 22, 23:47
Alf Baird on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “The dishonesty is first and foremost in the mankit annexation and ‘Union’ hoax which gives rise to its need for…” Jul 22, 23:26
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “AX Tut tut.. I don’t think anyone has seriously given that moniker to Glasgow for quite some considerable time and…” Jul 22, 23:06
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “HMcH That bad? Really? Made you reply though didn’t it? Validation an’ that eh? Enjoy lock down through the night…” Jul 22, 22:29
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Sorry, Auld Lochnagar, but as a wind up that’s a piss poor effort. Try again around 2 AM. Your output…” Jul 22, 22:22
Dick Wall on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Well now. Let’s have a wee bit of nuance. Most places have a way of appointing ministers who are not…” Jul 22, 21:16
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Chas Why do you lay that responsibility at Alfs door? Is it so you can blame him if things don’t…” Jul 22, 21:10
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “HMcH Aaaaah! In other words ie Yoda-speak; “Rampant Cringe leads to unhappiness, unhappiness leads to non conformance, non conformance leads…” Jul 22, 20:48
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “SF In fairness; “sins of the father” and that.. Not that I’m a fan!” Jul 22, 20:39
Scot Finlayson on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “His dad, Chaudhry Sarwar, was knocked back for a Lordship, `His nomination by outgoing Prime Minister, Gordon Brown for a…” Jul 22, 20:28
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: ““This I must say for Scotland, and I may truly vaunt it; here I sit, and govern it with my…” Jul 22, 20:08
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “If it’s gonna take 300 years to “decolonise”, we’re beyond fortunate to have a thousand year old Pict on our…” Jul 22, 19:58
Lorncal on The Wheels Of Industry: “Alf: I have ever been the contrarian, but I have never considered our situation to be ‘colonial’ in the accepted…” Jul 22, 19:57
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Oooh err.. I see Skynet slipped the leash and started flexing its AI muscles! AI is insanity on steroids and…” Jul 22, 19:49
Hatey McHateface on Progressing To Oblivion: “Relax, James. Burnham is gonna end rough sleeping soon. Once you have a fixed address they’ll give you new clothes,…” Jul 22, 19:47
Chas on The Wheels Of Industry: “Wow. That’s a first…………. Northclown has been thinking! Did it hurt?” Jul 22, 18:34
Chas on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “It is different shite Alfie boy but shite is still, well….. shite. What is surprising is not a quote in…” Jul 22, 17:55
agentx on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “It’s great to see that the Second City of the British Empire – Glasgow is hosting the Commonwealth Games which…” Jul 22, 17:28
Effijy on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “He will look well in beside Baroness Money Bags Mone and Wee Baroness Ruthless. The 3 prize monkey’s, Hear No…” Jul 22, 17:26
Nick on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “It’s called recycling! It’s what we do with the rubbish in this country these days!” Jul 22, 17:00
Alf Baird on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “There is a long history of elite Scots selling out their nation for English gold and status: HoC, speech of…” Jul 22, 16:31
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “It’s his payment for standing up against Mr Sausage. Although he had absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain.…” Jul 22, 16:20
Nicky T Naquetti on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “New Mayor of Scotland? It would not surprise anybody if that Indian tranny from the Green Party ended up lording…” Jul 22, 16:05
Andy Wiltshire on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Interesting. Were Private Eye one of the ‘Branchfoot’ offenders?” Jul 22, 14:16
Onlooker on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Fuck that racist eighth-wit, hope he fucks off down to London and never comes back.” Jul 22, 13:50