We’re assuming, naturally, that the First Minister will be duly suspended from the SNP while these shocking allegations are fully investigated, just like Gareth Wardell, Denise Findlay, Neale Hanvey, Mark McDonald, Michelle Thomson, Neil Hay, etc etc etc were.
We’re not, of course. And nor should she be, because “shared a platform with” is the ugly ginger stepchild of fake-outrage cancel culture – lower on the smear scale even than “liked a tweet by” or “linked an article by someone who completely separately had an unfashionable opinion on a completely different subject several years ago”. It’s absolute guff punted only by scumbags.
Nevertheless, the uncomfortable fact is that those are precisely the crimes for which other people WERE suspended and/or ostracised from the party, and we can’t help wishing the SNP’s flagrant hypocrisy about it was just a little bit less obvious and less arrogantly blatant, so that it wasn’t quite so painfully offensive to any decent person, and so that we weren’t having to fight quite so hard to keep believing in independence when we see the grim state of the Scotland that’s taking shape before our eyes.
We took the day off today because we didn’t trust ourselves to watch the Hate Crime Bill debate without doing something violent. By all accounts it was the smart call.
While the debate overran and will conclude with a vote tomorrow, there’s no suspense about the outcome. With the backing of the snivelling, hateful, misogynist Greens (one female MSP out of six, entirely by choice), the bill will pass and Scotland will become a country where almost anything you say could be a hate crime.
The bill is designed to terrify normal people into silence about almost any subject, as an automatic habit. Even in your own home you won’t be safe from denunciation.
And while an amendment by Adam Tomkins of the Scottish Tories – it has come to the stage, readers, where we’re reduced to needing the Tories to try to save us from the SNP – should help a lot of people escape being convicted, that’s not even the point. Malicious, vexatious complaints will have put them through months of worry and fear, effectively punishing them even though they’re innocent, and most people – especially women – will simply hold their tongue to avoid the trauma.
For the last couple of years this site has been critical of the SNP’s failure to make any sort of progress on independence. But this is far, far worse even than that. Because if they somehow miraculously achieved independence tomorrow, we’d be afraid to live in the Scotland they’re creating.
Our country doesn’t have a SINGLE political party remotely fit for government. Voters in May face a choice between the evil, the stupid, and the evil and stupid. And they can’t even be angry about it, because even the politest anger is now a hate crime.
We wish we had a constructive course of action to suggest to you, folks. But we don’t, because democracy has failed you. There is no way you can vote that will fix the ruins the SNP have made of Scotland. We cannot see a way forward. It is becoming nearly impossible to evade the conclusion that all is lost. Nicola Sturgeon has destroyed it.
When we suggested yesterday that the SNP was turning into New Labour, we didn’t expect them to go to quite so much trouble to provide us with a timely illustration.
In happier times, almost seven years ago, a united and focused Yes movement had a bit of fun at the expense of Labour MP Ian Murray when he had a huge pearl-clutching fainting fit over someone putting a couple of stickers on his constituency office.
The SNP has of course denied them, but they also denied our recent leak from the party’s draft manifesto and we know for sure that that was real. The trouble with lying all the time is that nobody believes you even if you occasionally tell the the truth.
Of course, there would be an easy way to prove the numbers were a fake – release the real ones, which is in any case the most fundamental element of transparency in a democratic election. And whatever they are could hardly be any more embarrassing than the rumours, which have candidates topping the list (and likely to get seats) on a shocking 2.4% of the vote.
It brings us genuinely no pleasure at all to report that events in Scottish politics are panning out exactly the way we’ve been telling you they would for nearly two years.
There’s a strange new affliction affecting the SNP: fear of figures.
Now, we should say that we don’t believe for even a second that the SNP has actually had 10,000 new members in the last two days. It’s ridiculous to the point of insulting. But purely for the sake of argument, let’s imagine it was true.
Finally, after an astonishing four and a half days of “counting”, the SNP have released their candidate rankings for the regional list in this year’s Holyrood election. We’ll give you the results first, and then something much more interesting.
Like an old man getting up for the fourth time in the middle of the night, the Scottish Government has squeezed out another little dribble of its legal advice in respect of the conduct of its shambolic investigation into false allegations against Alex Salmond.
And to push that gross analogy to its outermost limit, it must have found releasing one of the documents in particular as painful as passing a rather large kidney stone.
What puzzles many about the Alex Salmond situation is motive. It’s incredibly difficult for some Yes supporters to imagine any motive that could justify the awfulness of what Alex Salmond has been put through by his successor, and so they reject the whole idea of any sinister goings-on out of hand.
However, it’s far easier to understand what went on when you look at the personality of Nicola Sturgeon and her historical pattern of behaviour.
Because the core fact is that Sturgeon simply cannot bear to lose. She’s very single-minded, and doesn’t really adapt or regroup in the face of adversity. When events and new information make problems for her ideas and plans, she just keeps going – often creating more problems as she tries to force the plan back on track.
Sturgeon’s main priority – in common with most politicians – is to stay in power and to boost her own image and profile. We can look at some hot topics and her behaviour around them, and gain clear insights into what happened to Alex Salmond and why.
Mark Beggan on Rapist’s Rights: “Sturgeon’s suffering from post Colonial Stockholm syndrome Isn’t she Professor. Oh dear oh fuckin dear!” Aug 12, 00:02
Young Lochinvar on Rapist’s Rights: “Onlooker Which actually neatly sums up the whole 2 legged walking conundrum that (the currently reinventing herself) SHE is.. London…” Aug 11, 23:46
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Rapist’s Rights: “ASH REGAN interviewed by Mike Graham (7 Aug) on subject of trans women and prison: (Please copy and paste link…” Aug 11, 23:40
Iain More on Rapist’s Rights: “Those Quizzers that voted NO have a lot to answer for. How they and Sturgeon hated Scotland.” Aug 11, 23:19
willie on Rapist’s Rights: “How dare you Hatey call a mobile home a “camper van ” Sturgeon and her husband Peter had a very…” Aug 11, 23:00
Onlooker on Rapist’s Rights: “Exactly right. She finally gets tae hae the teenage lesbian fun she denied hersel oan joining the SNP it 16.…” Aug 11, 22:55
willie on Rapist’s Rights: “Ureka – I have it now. The answer has been with us all along. And when you work it out…” Aug 11, 22:50
Onlooker on Rapist’s Rights: “Talk aboot an admission: “I’ve always loved London.” Aye, nae doot, hen, nae doot. Says it aw, really, eh? Jist…” Aug 11, 22:46
Hatey McHateface on Rapist’s Rights: ““named after her” Somebody needs to design a new camper van and call it the Sturgeon.” Aug 11, 22:06
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Rapist’s Rights: ““As First Minister I have many, many, many different responsibilities, but there is no responsibility that I have that is…” Aug 11, 22:05
Hatey McHateface on Rapist’s Rights: ““an enviable period of settled prosperity and good governance under, I’d suggest, the most able and competent politician of his…” Aug 11, 22:00
robertkknight on Rapist’s Rights: “Frankly, Sturgeon deserves the gaol.” Aug 11, 21:46
George Ferguson on Rapist’s Rights: “Wind back to 15 years ago. Her miscarriage was the most important thing that ever happened to Scotland. Not realising…” Aug 11, 21:32
Hatey McHateface on Rapist’s Rights: “She’d be Scotland’s Mammie for life, x, and yer mammie is niver wrang. Yoons like you (insert abusive swear terms…” Aug 11, 21:16
Sven on Rapist’s Rights: “agent x @ 20.49. Or, Mr Salmond would not have resigned, Ms Sturgeon would not have inducted as the “Nation’s…” Aug 11, 21:13
TURABDIN on Rapist’s Rights: “Ms STURGEON might so easily have been «the liberator», she held for years strong cards but chose not to play…” Aug 11, 21:02
agent x on Rapist’s Rights: “If the yoons like me (insert abusive swear terms here) had not voted “NO” the Sturgeon creature would be President…” Aug 11, 20:49
Hatey McHateface on Rapist’s Rights: “@ Alf Baird says: 11 August, 2025 at 8:29 pm If you’re paddling in the murky waters of the “class…” Aug 11, 20:42
Hatey McHateface on Rapist’s Rights: “@Tartanpigsy says: 11 August, 2025 at 8:10 pm “You are such a pr**k” Aw, diddums. Truly the “courage” of the…” Aug 11, 20:34
Alf Baird on Rapist’s Rights: “We should always consider first our fundamental colonial reality rather than looking at our situation as one of everyday political…” Aug 11, 20:29
Hatey McHateface on Rapist’s Rights: ““working class interest” Ah yes, the soon to disappear, already greatly endangered, working class. Politically, replaced by the benefits class…” Aug 11, 20:19
Tartanpigsy on Rapist’s Rights: “Hatey McNever-set-foot-in-Scotland-other-than-on-fishing-or-hunting-trips…… You are such a pr**k” Aug 11, 20:10
aLurker on Rapist’s Rights: “Captain Caveman says: Dangerous idiots who’ve disappeared so far up their absurd leftist ideological cul-de-sacs that they can’t distinguish reality…” Aug 11, 19:42
GM on Rapist’s Rights: “I agree, there is nothing about extreme social liberalism that is left or right wing. Right wing people support right…” Aug 11, 19:31
Andrew scott on Rapist’s Rights: “Not sure my tv will survive the interview Not sure i will watch” Aug 11, 19:08
Hatey McHateface on Rapist’s Rights: “Thanks for the reminder that as recently as 2022, CM was surprised, shocked and astonished that people would fabricate evidence…” Aug 11, 18:48
Hatey McHateface on The Last Marble: “@ diabloandco says:11 August, 2025 at 1:51 pm “That doesn’t negate the deaths and does not excuse the priority given…” Aug 11, 18:29
Captain Caveman on Rapist’s Rights: “On the contrary, there’s everything “leftist” about it. For the avoidance of doubt: the is nonsense harks solely from the…” Aug 11, 18:26
David Holden on Rapist’s Rights: “I suspect we are rapidly reaching the point when it is time to stick Nicola, Pop goes the weasel blogger…” Aug 11, 18:08
twathater on Rapist’s Rights: “TBQH I had respect for Wightman and his ideas on land reform,but IMO he destroyed any sense of credibility or…” Aug 11, 18:03