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Introducing Devo Nano 128

Posted on March 18, 2014 by

So, the wait is over. Two full years after announcing the setup of its “Devolution Commission” (comprising three MPs, three MSPs, one MEP, a pair of general-purpose office wonks and one increasingly-unhinged councillor), this morning Scottish Labour unveiled its final report, strikingly clad in the flag of, er, Shetland.

labshetland

As we write, only the executive summary has been made available – a slim 14 pages including the preamble, reasoning and recommendations. These are our observations.

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What you can’t have 129

Posted on March 18, 2014 by

We’ve finally got hold of a copy of the long-awaited report (or at least, the executive summary) from Labour’s “Devolution Commission”. While we wade through the fine detail, we thought we’d quickly let you see the list of things Labour has decided that Scotland absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, be allowed to handle for itself.

devonano1

Analysis to come.

The definition of madness 119

Posted on March 18, 2014 by

While we wait for the full detail of what look like being even more watered-down and insipid “Devo Lite” proposals from Labour than we were expecting, we suppose we might as well spend a minute on last night’s big “Better Together” announcement that Eddie Izzard was going to hold a benefit gig for the No campaign, putting the Union on a par with starving Ethiopians and earthquake victims.

izzarduj

Einstein is claimed to have said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (and readers hopefully already know our views on Quote Nazis), so we found a line attributed to Izzard in the press release particularly striking.

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Dead man’s swerve 215

Posted on March 17, 2014 by

Here’s the footage of Alistair Darling’s interview in Glasgow with James Naughtie a few days ago. If you want to spend 35 minutes of your life watching a man totally dodge every question asked of him, it’s your lucky day.

Naughtie does ask a few decent ones, particularly on the currency and EU, but Darling just waffles his way past all of them (a particular trick we’ve noticed among Labour politicians lately is saying “Let me just say this and then I’ll answer your question”, whereupon they trot out some boilerplate and then don’t answer the question), and Naughtie doesn’t ever press him any further.

So, y’know, saving the £20 was probably the smart call.

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Alternate Reality Month 97

Posted on March 17, 2014 by

Well, this is the month of the Mad March Hare, we suppose.

First we had Bernard Ponsonby telling us that the referendum was a choice between independence and a completely imaginary “more powers” option. Next up was Hamish Macdonell in the Spectator, oddly hallucinating that David Cameron had announced “devo max” when in fact he’d announced devo nothing at all.

At the weekend (and, we suspect, all this week) there were journalists insisting that Johann Lamont was offering Scots major advances devolution when in fact she was essentially offering the 2009 Calman Commission with a new ribbon tied on it.

But the winner is surely David Torrance in today’s Herald.

“This was the first Scottish Conservative gathering I can remember in quite a while where there were visible signs of political life. Ms Davidson made the best conference speech of her leadership, actually connecting with her audience, while usefully the venue, Edinburgh’s shiny EICC, didn’t conform to type by being dusty and half-empty.”

Our emphasis. But, um…

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Lowering expectations 101

Posted on March 17, 2014 by

At the weekend we examined the likely outcome of Scottish Labour’s long-awaited “Devolution Commission”, and the media’s extraordinary spin on it. Hyped breathlessly as a “game-changer” by more than one Scottish journalist, the plan is in fact an empty piece of window-dressing, a charade as fake as the shop-fronts which line so many High Streets as the UK government’s “recovery” bypasses most normal people’s lives.

fakepaisley

And while Johann Lamont might have fooled the media – always willing to be suckered by any passing devolution conman – she clearly doesn’t fancy her chances of pulling the (painting of) wool over the Scottish public’s eyes, because a piece in yesterday’s Sunday Mail reveals just how low Labour are trying to manage Scotland’s hopes.

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Stories of the week, 16/3/2014 60

Posted on March 16, 2014 by

The top five most-read stories on Wings Over Scotland in the last seven days.

1. We less, we happy less
Awful grammar and the same old scaremongering from “Better Together”.

2. Sympathy for the devil
The No camp tries not to rejoice at bad news for Scotland.

3. Please stop lying to us
Reporting the news from Things That Didn’t Actually Happen World.

4. The countdown starts tomorrow
We got the date wrong on this – just two days to go.

5. An apology to Gordon Brown
Instantly gazumped in the “old man gibberish” stakes.

This week’s theme: devo schmevo.

The hollowest promise 73

Posted on March 16, 2014 by

Scotland on Sunday deputy editor Kenny Farquharson was sticking with all the doggedness of the Inverness Caley Thistle defence to his paper’s bizarre story about Johann Lamont’s “Devo 2.0” plans when we chatted briefly to him on Twitter this afternoon. (Although let’s at least give SoS credit for what as far as we know is a whole new “devo something” suffix.)

winners

The concept is so strange it merits breaking down further.

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Surging out of convalescence 185

Posted on March 16, 2014 by

It’s nearly time for us to go and watch the League Cup Final, so for the unfortunately benighted among you with no interest in Derek’s Dandy Dons (or Inverness Caley Thistle, or indeed soccerball in general), enjoy some classic shots of Ruth Davidson’s speech just a few minutes ago at what the media has been describing this weekend as a “resurgent” Scottish Conservatives conference in Edinburgh.

ruthconf8

That’s the party leader’s keynote address. Captions invited as usual.

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Let’s walk this one through 65

Posted on March 16, 2014 by

Being a journalist can occasionally present some tricky ethical dilemmas. Today’s Scotland on Sunday carries a story about Scottish Labour’s strife-riddled devolution plans, which attributes this quote to the Scottish branch manager Johann Lamont:

johannreduce

Now, that’s an awkward one for any conscientious reporter. We have to presume that the former English teacher MEANT to say “increase” (or “restore”), rather than “reduce”. But you can’t just casually reverse in print what someone actually said on the assumption that they meant the opposite, so the hapless Andrew Whitaker has to resort to the least-bad option, which is just printing it and hoping nobody notices.

It’s the rest of the article that contains the real nonsense, though.

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The nasty parties 162

Posted on March 15, 2014 by

Theresa May, the UK Home Secretary, yesterday told the Scottish Conservative conference that a Yes vote in the Scottish referendum would see the UK government putting up passport and immigration controls at the border.

papersplease

Really? Rather than accept a common travel area, as exists with Ireland, the UK government would instigate full international border arrangements – arrangements which exist nowhere else in Europe – on the UK mainland?

Let’s just consider what that would require.

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A Family Of Nations 57

Posted on March 15, 2014 by

CAM-FARAGE-TITLE-copy

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