When I was a boy at Balbardie Primary School in Bathgate in the mid-70s, football was banned in the playground. Of course we were all fitba-daft laddies, so we sought ways around the prohibition. Occasionally someone would bring in a tennis ball, but those were difficult to control in school shoes and also apt to fly over the wall of the outdoor toilet block if somebody caught one sweetly on the volley.
So most playtimes somebody would produce a tin of Pepsi or Irn-Bru or Cresta, chug the contents, stand the empty container on its end and stomp sharply on it, producing something more akin to an ice-hockey puck that would serve for our kickabout.
But even after being skelped and scudded around a concrete playground into stone walls for 20 minutes, that can was still in better shape at the end of our game than the one the SNP have been kicking down the road since 2016.
The SNP now seem to be involved in some sort of competition where they dare each other to come up with the most blatant insult to their own members and/or the wider independence movement and see just how much they can get people to put up with.
First up was this drivel:
Humza Yousaf is leader of the SNP, a political party whose defining purpose – arguably its SOLE real purpose – is the pursuit of Scottish independence, but his “vision for Scotland” didn’t include a single mention of it.
Instead, Yousaf intends to spend the next three years on “equality”, “opportunity” and “community”, three meaningless buzzwords which every political party on Earth would claim to be in favour of. He might as well have identified his key values as kittens, lollipops and hugs.
Once again, we’re dismayed to report that we called it right. Because last night SNP MSP Mairi McAllan, officially representing the party on Question Time, told a weary audience in Fort William that that was precisely the case.
And readers, if ever a policy has been tested in battle and found wanting, it’s that one.
Just over a year ago, Shona Robison – then the Cabinet Secretary For Social Justice, now the Deputy First Minister – told the Scottish Parliament this:
There now follow some quotes from the media regarding the case of Andrew Miller, aka Amy George, who yesterday admitted the kidnap and repeated sexual abuse of an 11-year-old girl at his home in Galashiels earlier this year.
But we’ve subsequently noticed a number of attempts by various people to muddy the story by talking about a “draft” warrant request, implying that there was no improper delay. So we checked up, and thought you might like to know how the process works.
James on What Went On: “Pointless pointing anything factual out to the twat he doesn’t want to know.” Nov 29, 16:27
gregor on What Went On: “Rest assured this Scot Gov/SNP is gonna provide Scotland with a procession of gifts…” Nov 29, 16:12
MaryB on What Went On: “Janey Godley’s funeral is at 10.0am tomorrow in Glasgow, whilst Alex Salmond’s funeral is at 11.0am in Edinburgh. Nicola’s busy…” Nov 29, 15:53
GeoffC. on What Went On: “Why isn’t Nicola presenting the case on the SG’s behalf – I understand she’s a lawyer of some note -…” Nov 29, 15:40
Hatey McHateface on What Went On: ““Puteen is very astute and competent as a Leader” Yet Rooshian window catches continue to be celebrated around the world…” Nov 29, 15:29
Ian Brotherhood on What Went On: “Thanks for the link Mac, have just finished watching. Much to ponder, and a lot of it is pretty grim.…” Nov 29, 14:59
Breeks on What Went On: “It went by with scarcely anybody mentioning it, but in a different Livestream, I think it was Ray McGovern, ex…” Nov 29, 14:30
Hatey McHateface on What Went On: “Have you packed your bags, yet, or are you still hoping the AfD never make good on their promises to…” Nov 29, 14:27
GeoffC. on What Went On: “My head hurts. Thanks a bunch, Stuart!” Nov 29, 14:24
Hatey McHateface on What Went On: “HM: “It’s the weekend “Mac”. Do us all a favour, including yourself, and go find something you can enjoy.” RH:…” Nov 29, 14:21
Graf Midgehunter on What Went On: “This is 9/11 conspiracy level and the internet is full of this stuff. The great majority of Europeans are well…” Nov 29, 14:07
Mac on What Went On: “As he said, the more people know a false flag is likely to happen, the less likely it becomes. That…” Nov 29, 13:58
Robert Hughes on What Went On: “wank” Nov 29, 13:47
Robert Hughes on What Went On: “no prob , Ian . I’ve been * following * yr man for a while now : he’s always spot-on…” Nov 29, 13:45
Ian Brotherhood on What Went On: “Cheers R, have never seen that dude before. Very interesting and, sadly, entirely plausible. Will now go and watch the…” Nov 29, 13:08
Hatey McHateface on What Went On: “The chances of something bad happening and it actually being Ru$$ia behind it are very high at this point! You’ve…” Nov 29, 13:04
Robert Hughes on What Went On: “Yes , Sven , I was thinking the same – how long will they be able to hold out if…” Nov 29, 13:03
Campbell Clansman on What Went On: “Labour won the West Fife council by-election last night. SNP finished 2nd, with 33%. The minor fringe parties (Alba, Monster…” Nov 29, 12:58
Campbell Clansman on What Went On: “Labour won the West Dunbartonshire council by-election last night. SNP finished 2nd, with 30%. The minor fringe parties (Alba, Monster…” Nov 29, 12:51
Robert Hughes on What Went On: “Coincidentally , I was thinking of sending this to Ian B – or post it here . Who knows if…” Nov 29, 12:43
Mac on What Went On: “Never seen this guy (being interviewed) before but I strongly recommend this interview. A brilliant analysis but also an important…” Nov 29, 11:26
Callum on What Went On: “Universality is worth saving. Just think what Scotland would be without universal health care and education. The principle that all…” Nov 29, 11:14
Callum on What Went On: “What is more important in law – biological reality or a social construct based on gender? Politicians have made bad…” Nov 29, 10:54
Robert Hughes on What Went On: “It’s a good gesture and fairplay to yr friend for doing that . The possible negative if many people did…” Nov 29, 10:45
Sven on What Went On: “Guess that means that we can expect to see Grahams disappear from Supermarket shelves and remain only on sale in…” Nov 29, 10:38
Chas on What Went On: “Off topic. I have a golfing pal who receives an old age pension. Last year he was awarded £500 for…” Nov 29, 10:32
shug on What Went On: “Of course the BBC is avoiding mention of the UK gender equality act in 2010 that kicked off all this…” Nov 29, 10:32
Mac on What Went On: “Where it really struck me was old footage of Scotland fans breaking the goalposts at Wembley… there is hardly a…” Nov 29, 10:21
Mac on What Went On: “The reason we have an obesity and diabetes epidemic is because in the 80’s at the behest of Big Food…” Nov 29, 10:05
Andy on What Went On: “Not even on the Scotland page of the BBC website. You have to know that it’s down in Scotland Politics.…” Nov 29, 09:53
