We try to avoid openly editorialising on this site, readers. While unashamedly partisan in our leanings, as a rule we prefer to present the facts and let people come to their own conclusions from the evidence.
But we’re not sure we’ve ever seen anything more craven and pathetic than this.
We’ve been quiet today because we’ve been wading through the 80-odd painfully-dry pages of the Labour 2015 election manifesto, folks. It’s a deeply tedious read – screeds and screeds of waffly text about how nice things are nice and good things are good but bad things are bad. A couple of things did jump out, though. Here’s one.
Alert readers will of course recall that the party’s solemn pledge in Scotland is to provide 1000 more nurses (hastily revised from the comical “1000 more than whatever the SNP say”) from the proceeds of the Mansion Tax, even though NHS Scotland is devolved and no Westminster government can in fact hire a single Scottish nurse.
But hang on. Something’s not right about those numbers.
A super-alert reader pointed out something about today’s Sunday Politics that we hadn’t noticed. Before the galaxy-class trainwreck that was the Scottish leaders’ debate, the networked section of the show had a piece on Scottish polling, and our eagle-eyed viewer spotted that the chart of projected seats wasn’t in proportion.
So we measured, and this is what it should have looked like.
With there only having been three hours of the Scottish political party leaders (and Jim Murphy) debating on TV so far this week, and four days to wait for another one, BBC Scotland thought they might need another 40 minutes on this afternoon’s Sunday Politics Scotland to discuss the issues around the forthcoming general election.
It went well, but for busy readers in a hurry we’ve edited the show down to a compact nine-minute cut, which still gets across everything the full version did.
A great example of adult discourse, expertly set. Well done, everyone.
There’s very little actual political news today, so the papers have largely been forced to either basically not have any at all (the Sunday Post and Scottish Sun On Sunday) or make up totally mad stuff for laughs to fill the space.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Scottish Liberal Democrat manifesto 2015:
I voted for this pathetic shower of useless snivellers for 23 years, folks. I’ve learned my lesson. Once again, I can only hang my head and beg forgiveness.
With the “biggest party forms the government” lie now sunk and rusting slowly on the seabed (weighed down even further by polls suggesting that Labour actually will be the largest party even if they lose all of Scotland to the SNP), and four weeks of campaigning left to fill, Scottish Labour have had to grab a hammer, smash the glass on the “EMERGENCY – IN CASE OF DESPERATION” box and clutch desperately at whatever they found inside.
The abject answer is “Project Fear 2 – This Time It’s Full Fiscal Autonomy”.
After this week’s STV and BBC debates, in which the Scottish Labour branch-office manager’s combative performances were favourably received by the Scottish media, Wings exclusively interviews armed-forces enthusiast Jim Murphy for a response to the latest numbers from YouGov, pausing first for the delivery of some refreshments.
Young Lochinvar on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “There’s always the possibility that it’s just the sheer laziness of these characters. Umpteen KCs looked at it but it’s…” Jul 3, 01:16
David Ferguson on Tuning In The Shine: “I cannot understand why Beattie stood again… Beattie didn’t “stand”. There was no fresh election after the elected treasurer and…” Jul 3, 01:12
Young Lochinvar on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “One of the “chaps”.. Job well done and all that “old girl”.. Who’ll ever forget her embarrassing performance down in…” Jul 3, 00:54
Angus on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “The lying scum who dictated that reply claims: “The further information you have provided – – – does not raise…” Jul 3, 00:34
Young Lochinvar on Tuning In The Shine: “F Correct. It’s called obfuscation. Plus, the whole “who are you” thing, what job did you do, are you just…” Jul 3, 00:27
Young Lochinvar on Tuning In The Shine: “S @ 3.27 I’m afraid the answer to that is probably extremely unpalatable to the bulk..” Jul 3, 00:06
Frazerio on Tuning In The Shine: “Yeah but, Only thing I’d pick them up on, they taglined it as something like ‘Why Wings wont let the…” Jul 2, 23:31
John McDonald on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Giving the money back wasn’t the only option. The SNP could easily have offered donors the ability to have their…” Jul 2, 23:28
Alasdair Roy on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “When all this is finally over will the Rev. Campbell please turn some of his considerable forensic abilities and rhetoric…” Jul 2, 22:32
GM on Tuning In The Shine: “Truer today than at any time in my life.” Jul 2, 22:09
Mark Beggan on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Everybody Knows.. “Everybody knows that the dice are loaded Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed Everybody knows the war is…” Jul 2, 21:00
GB on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “and now Dorothy Bain has been appointed as a Judge according to the Herald” Jul 2, 19:50
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Tuning In The Shine: “A speaker of Irish would most likely pronounce the name as: “Ma-gila-WAAN” Some no doubt would say “VAAN” (as would…” Jul 2, 19:40
BigJay on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “I note that the former Lord Advocate has received a suitable reward for her sterling service in the role. The…” Jul 2, 19:10
100%Yes on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “A deal has been agreed Peter would admit A and B-Z would be ignored. What no one expect was a…” Jul 2, 18:58
100%Yes on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Sarah, is it a case no one is prepared to put their name to it!!” Jul 2, 18:51
Mike on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Rev, curious to know what options are on the table? Much like the Indy Referendum and WM repeatedly saying no,…” Jul 2, 18:47
Scotspine on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “COPFS are simply going to tough this out. They dont answer to anyone……well maybe except some folk in Thames House,…” Jul 2, 18:47
Potace on Tuning In The Shine: “Martin Guissler jumping to the defence of St Nicola. Colour me shocked” Jul 2, 18:33
joolz on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “£660k+ was donated and acknowledged. The money has gone. John Swinney says it was spent. John Swinney refuses to show…” Jul 2, 18:25
Karen on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “So put in a complaint naming Nicoliar, LLB, who knows what ring-fenced means, and has been taught how to read…” Jul 2, 18:13
MP on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Quite – if you raise money to ‘ring fence’ it for a specific purpose, referendum campaign, and then you decide…” Jul 2, 18:05
Iain mhor on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Oh, so they uncovered evidence of embezzlement then. Well that’s interesting. Certainly I’ve read the sentence a couple of times…” Jul 2, 17:37
Andy Wiltshire on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “I see you have had another anonymous communication. Unless of course there really is a Mr Enquiry Point.” Jul 2, 17:36
GM on Tuning In The Shine: “That has come into my head ss well Ian. He evidently had a good job in Banking (international banking evidently).…” Jul 2, 17:30
sarah on Fob, Fob, Fobbing Along: “Thank you, Rev. At least you’ve got the facts at your fingertips and it’s a straightforward matter so you don’t…” Jul 2, 17:28