In the dying days of World War 2, as Berlin crumbled to rubble under Russian bombs and rockets, the Nazis played a desperate last card in the shape of the Volkssturm, an ad hoc fighting force primarily comprised of old men, invalided veterans and those not deemed fit for normal military service. (As most of those were already dead.)
They were rounded up and sent off to the front (usually only a few hundred yards away) in their civilian clothes, armed with whatever odds and sods of weaponry could be scrabbled together – most commonly the one-shot Panzerfaust anti-tank grenade, as seen in the pic above – and invariably slaughtered in the streets by the disbelieving battalions of the Red Army, because it didn’t matter to Hitler whether they lived or died.
So there it is. In a massive, humiliating and abrupt reverse, the Scottish Greens have announced that they’ll support the Scottish Government – still led for the foreseeable future by Humza Yousaf – in this week’s confidence motion.
Shockingly enough, the debate about the Greens’ principles, intellectual consistency and integrity was an extremely brief one. Faced with the loss of their relevance and influence, they crumbled like month-old carrot cake and rushed their cards onto the table before the SNP had time to do any thinking.
Any hope Kate Forbes might have had of leading the SNP just evaporated, and so did any hope of grown-up government between now and 2026. The SNP will now spend the next two years as pathetic, grovelling puppets, doing whatever the Greens want as long as the paycheques and pension contributions keep rolling in.
It’s a tragic demise for a party that just a couple of years ago still crushed all before it in Scottish politics. But that’s showbiz, folks.
We don’t really have very much to add to our analysis of yesterday. Sunday’s papers and politics shows have just confirmed our view of where things stand.
But for those whose heads are spinning, let’s see if we can make it simpler.
It’s probably as good an illustration of the madness currently engulfing Scottish politics as anything that the most unusual suspect, Anas Sarwar, may have just – temporarily at least – saved Humza Yousaf’s job.
And although our head hurts already, we’ll try to explain why.
We’ll make this short, because we’ve had a long day. Wings is told by a very reliable source that there’s ANOTHER emergency Cabinet meeting scheduled for tomorrow morning, which at least means we get to use this image now.
News reaches Wings this evening that Humza Yousaf has called an emergency meeting of the Scottish Cabinet at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning, just a couple of hours before FMQs. (This information has been confirmed directly to us by a source very close to a member of said Cabinet.)
An emergency Cabinet meeting is an extraordinarily rare event. As far as we’re able to establish there have only been two during the SNP’s time in power – when the budget failed to pass in 2009 and Alex Salmond’s administration had to decide whether or not to trigger a general election, and one the day after the Brexit vote to supposedly plan a second indyref (LOL). But in any case they’re extremely unusual.
The subject of the meeting has not been disclosed to us. It could, for example, concern imminent developments in Operation Branchform, or it could relate to the Bute House Agreement between the SNP and the Scottish Greens. The men in grey kilts may have come for the FM. Or Scotland could be about to declare war on Morocco or something. But we are told that the fact of the meeting taking place is a 100% certainty.
So no sleeping in tomorrow, readers. It’s probably going to be big.
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Alf Baird on Looking up at the stars: “We must be getting ivver closer tae oor naitional leeberation, Hatey, because postcolonial theory reminds us the first thing a…” Mar 16, 10:36
Sven on Looking up at the stars: ““Scribbling’s”, well, it’s grammar Chas, however not as we know it.” Mar 16, 10:24
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “It has everything to do with you highlighting Egypt as apparently a country doing it right and saying that Scotland…” Mar 16, 09:55
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Stating that London filled with tea towel wearers yesterday, many with Arabic writing on? Stating that FGM is quite extensively…” Mar 16, 09:29
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan And yet you saw fit to add shite like air pollution, people getting killed in railway accidents, and quality…” Mar 16, 09:25
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “I bet you thought you had written “breathe”.” Mar 16, 09:22
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “@Geri Get yersel doon tae Currys. If you’ve been using ink for yer online posts, they may still be able…” Mar 16, 09:18
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Tell ye fit ah’ll dae, YL. Haund oan the Holy Bible, Ah’ll swear a solemn vow tae naiver post oan…” Mar 16, 09:09
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “The Al-Fayrous fish farm is actually just off the Suez Canal, but the wider point is that it’s very odd…” Mar 16, 09:03
Chas on Looking up at the stars: “Eloquent, factual, knowledgeable and well researched are words that you would NEVER associate with any of your deranged scribbling’s. Very…” Mar 16, 08:26
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan The Al-Fayrous fish farm I linked to is on the coast of the Med, so must be some crazy…” Mar 16, 08:23
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “I find watching paint dry is more fulfilling.” Mar 16, 07:59
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “I’m a big fan of small community growing projects so more power to you as far as I’m concerned. Equally,…” Mar 16, 07:10
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “He doesn’t seem very wise. A wiser man would’ve said: Look mate, you clearly don’t like that forum, now fck…” Mar 16, 00:35
Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““but you seem to jet about the place a fair bit” I think that’ll be a thing of the past…” Mar 16, 00:25
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Ten past eleven and Hatey has been unco quiet.. Hmmm.. Oh heck, wait Sky Arts has Exodus (1960) on -…” Mar 15, 23:19
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Stop!! Don’t do it Hatey! Getting out and socialising is said to help. Perhaps removing yourself from online forums like…” Mar 15, 22:54
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “So Chas, given adults have a choice, why not expect everyone else to scroll on past your posts? Open forum…” Mar 15, 22:37
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aaawww! Don’t take it so hard Hatey-proud boy, contrary to what you seem to believe, people aren’t just posting here…” Mar 15, 22:24
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan I don’t expect myself or everyone else to grow all our own food requirements in our gardens. But I…” Mar 15, 19:52
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “He won’t need that if he’s wearing blackface. Unless … what skin colour were the Picts? I think there’s a…” Mar 15, 18:35
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Feck knows what you’re on about, but if you think it’s true, go before a Justice of the Peace and…” Mar 15, 18:07
Chas on Looking up at the stars: “A wise man said ‘it is difficult to ignore the posts of Geri, Baird, Confused, Cheyne to name but a…” Mar 15, 16:45
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Alright Geri – if it’s not total nonsense, what date can we expect ration books to be introduced?” Mar 15, 15:18
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