Just for a change, let’s have a Friday-night competition!
Sharp-eyed readers will have noticed that former First Minister Alex Salmond is staging a show in the Spiegeltent at the Edinburgh Fringe next month, from 4-13 August.
You may even have seen a bit of online criticism from certain po-faced pseudonats about the fact that Salmond is sharing a platform with – gasp! – a Yoon, in the shape of the “last of the traditional Tories”, David Davis MP.
It is our solemn duty to inform readers that deranged, shovel-handed Scottish Greens member and known associate of rapists and paedophiles Scott “Heather” Herbert has taken the hump at a Wings article from yesterday in which he was satirically featured.
He filed a malicious false copyright claim with YouTube which resulted in a silent video clip from the article showcasing his comically gigantic man-hands being scheduled for deletion, despite Herbert owning no copyright in the video (it’s the property of TalkTV, who have raised no objections to it) and having no legal standing to file any complaint.
But YouTube’s abysmal automated structures operate on the basis that all complaints are intrinsically valid, and allow absolutely no way for Wings to appeal this decision.
He popped up on Talk TV last night, explaining how a middle-aged man twerking at a number of very young children – some of whom seemed visibly distressed – during a recent Pride march was fine because maybe the children had asked him to (which they manifestly hadn’t), and anyway it was their parents’ fault that it happened.
And, y’know, readers can make their own judgements about that.
Hannah Graf MBE (below, right, receiving the decoration from Prince William in 2019 for his “work updating LGBTQ policy in the British Army”) is a very strange fella.
Here are three recent newspaper stories. This one’s from two weeks ago:
A wealthy businessman, related to an SNP MP, is alleged to have donated tens of thousands of pounds in envelopes to the party which it is claimed have unlawfully not been recorded with the Electoral Commission.
Tuesday’s front page headline in The National was roughly the political equivalent of introducing yourself to your new next-door neighbour by saying “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Jimmy from No.22 and it definitely wasn’t me who killed your cat last night”.
Humza Yousaf’s great masterplan of an independence strategy is imploding faster than the OceanGate Titan, and scarcely any less disastrously. And unless you’re one of the colleagues, family or friends of the tragic victims on board the doomed vessel, it’s even more painful to watch.
24 hours on, pretty much everyone seems to have come to the same conclusion (with the assistance of briefings from the FM himself) about Humza Yousaf’s “independence strategy” as the one Wings saw immediately yesterday, namely that he’s taken Nicola Sturgeon’s flawed version of a de-facto referendum and made it even less credible.
In as far as they’re talking about it at all, anyway.
Mia on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Point 4: “To recall the three estates of parliament” This was proposed in the context of the 1712 Hamilton affair.…” Jan 11, 18:51
Lorna Campbell on In Ruins: “When are people going to understand that the SNP could usher in independence, that we could leave the Union tomorrow,…” Jan 11, 18:47
Lorna Campbell on In Ruins: “Even if the UK does not fight for NI, the NI parties and Eire parties are all wedded to the…” Jan 11, 18:43
Robert McAllan on In Ruins: “NO EFFIN HOPE!! Swinney just confirmed that in his final remarks. Forbes is the latest ‘snake in the grass’ to…” Jan 11, 18:40
Mia on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Point 1 above “To formally address the Queen with a document signed by Scotland’s peers and MPs to demand the…” Jan 11, 18:17
gregor on In Ruins: “Travis Scotch: SCOTCHWORLD: Boss: “Rack Ross, I’m the?boss I’m?with Travis Scotch I?got racks, I got a lot Yeah,?I’m the king…” Jan 11, 18:16
gregor on In Ruins: “Scotch: “To prevent something from being believed or being done: Her remarks were intended to scotch rumours of imminent job…” Jan 11, 18:12
robertkknight on In Ruins: “You can just picture it… Swinney leaving the interview, skipping out into the street and placing the tip of his…” Jan 11, 18:11
100%Yes on In Ruins: “Feeding us a lie while Swinney and Forbes sell the assets to foreign business instead of saying to the UKG…” Jan 11, 18:01
gregor on In Ruins: “Might have known you pathetic sniveling Scotch wretches would find such a progressive prospect (FACT) offensive: Scotch (adjective): “Scotch is…” Jan 11, 18:00
Young Lochinvar on In Ruins: “Bravo!!” Jan 11, 17:57
wullie on In Ruins: “Two mannequins in a shop window” Jan 11, 17:54
Martin on In Ruins: “I have never seen a Scottish politician fall so far as Kate Forbes. She is now a happy establishment bunny…” Jan 11, 17:50
Mia on Eyes Full Of Beams: ““as though they had suddenly come up with something novel that nobody in 300 years had ever thought of” Actually…” Jan 11, 17:50
Callum on In Ruins: “SNP are in reality a Devo Party and have been for a decade. They know that Westminster will never allow…” Jan 11, 17:45
James Gardner on In Ruins: “The phrase that comes to mind, “Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly”. ” Jan 11, 17:27
Dan on In Ruins: “Scotland has a choice to make. Get busy burning as many fossil fuels as you can to aid global warming…” Jan 11, 17:27
gregor on In Ruins: “Net-Zero was an exclusive top-down WEF/UN (NWO) Scheme. #NetZeroCancelled” Jan 11, 17:19
gregor on In Ruins: “re. “We desperately need a mechanism” I believe in and elect Mia (et al) to demolish these useless invertebrates -…” Jan 11, 17:15
Mia on In Ruins: “That is correct. She did. And the rat did so in April 2015, that is months AFTER several polls had…” Jan 11, 17:13
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on In Ruins: “I am an inveterate head-tilted title-reader of books on shelves. The first three books before we get to Burns: L.A.…” Jan 11, 17:12
Alf Baird on In Ruins: ““working for the unionists” That is unfortunately what postcolonial theory tells us occurs: That the dominant national party elite become…” Jan 11, 17:09
Mia on In Ruins: ““The sad truth is that many SNP members still hold a strong belief that independence will happen via the SNP”…” Jan 11, 16:58
Tenruh on In Ruins: “Did Sturgeon not say in 2015 a vote for the SNP wasn’t a vote for independence?” Jan 11, 16:57
Shug on In Ruins: “Well it doesn’t sound like Swinney is planning to turn away from the car crash. I am surprised that Forbes…” Jan 11, 16:46
Andy Anderson on In Ruins: “Spot on Mia. My thoughts exactly.” Jan 11, 16:43
Andy Ellis on In Ruins: “The polling I’ve seen does suggest Reform in Scotland is basically cannibalising the Scottish Tory vote, so more power to…” Jan 11, 16:43
Andy Anderson on In Ruins: “The sad truth is that many SNP members still hold a strong belief that independence will happen via the SNP.…” Jan 11, 16:42
Mia on In Ruins: ““the route to independence is about outlining that alternative that can inspire” No, it isn’t, Ms Forbes. The route to…” Jan 11, 16:41
Mia on In Ruins: ““wee plucky countries can do a great job if they believe in themselves” Wee plucky countries cannot do anything for…” Jan 11, 16:30