When you’ve been watching Scotland playing football for 50 years of your life, you become accustomed to disappointment. You expect disappointment. Anything better than disappointment becomes a bonus.
Having solved cat hunger in Greece, the tireless Holiday Boy has now turned his hand to addressing Scotland’s crippling golfing shortage, so we’ve got a different sort of cartoon again for you this weekend.
The clip below is from a 1981 arcade videogame called Venture, by Exidy, in which you play a cheerful character called Winky on a mission to loot treasure from a series of monster-infested dungeons.
For the purposes of this article the treasure in the room above, which takes the form of a castle tower, represents Scottish politics. The room itself is the Union.
The SNP released their general election manifesto today. We’re not going to link you to it, because we don’t want to be responsible for wasting your time. This is everything it has to say on the party’s (cough) strategy for achieving independence.
It deserves much, much less respect than we’re giving it. Tomorrow, ice lolly reviews.
I’m a professional community organiser, and a tenant and housing activist for some 20 years. I saw the old Scottish Tenants Organisation get smashed by Jack McConnell’s government to make way for council housing privatisation, which in Glasgow created the Glasgow Housing Association.
I’ve long wanted to rebuild a national body to give housing schemes a political voice and to push to end the housing crisis. That’s why I got involved with Living Rent, organising my community to become their first branch. Little did I know that would lead to a brush with crazed gender ideology, and see Queer Theory used to try to destroy it.
We’re still trying not to pay attention to the election because it’s so tedious and awful and pointless, but this is worth putting on the record because it’s in The National and otherwise nobody’s going to read it.
Holiday Boy has of course chosen the general election campaign to spend the next three weeks feeding stray cats somewhere sunny, so here’s a cartoon by the brilliant webcomicname that summarises the Baillie Gifford story for anyone joining us late.
January 2018, with no general election due for four and a half years: “I very rarely talk about Scottish independence in the chamber, because I talk about things that matter”
June 2024, with an election in four weeks and a £91,346 salary, expenses and pension at stake: “ROBERT THE BRUCE! BANNOCKBURN! DECLARATION OF ARBROATH! FLOWER OF SCOTLAND! FREEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOMMMM!”
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “He doesn’t seem very wise. A wiser man would’ve said: Look mate, you clearly don’t like that forum, now fck…” Mar 16, 00:35
Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““but you seem to jet about the place a fair bit” I think that’ll be a thing of the past…” Mar 16, 00:25
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Ten past eleven and Hatey has been unco quiet.. Hmmm.. Oh heck, wait Sky Arts has Exodus (1960) on -…” Mar 15, 23:19
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Stop!! Don’t do it Hatey! Getting out and socialising is said to help. Perhaps removing yourself from online forums like…” Mar 15, 22:54
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “So Chas, given adults have a choice, why not expect everyone else to scroll on past your posts? Open forum…” Mar 15, 22:37
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aaawww! Don’t take it so hard Hatey-proud boy, contrary to what you seem to believe, people aren’t just posting here…” Mar 15, 22:24
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan I don’t expect myself or everyone else to grow all our own food requirements in our gardens. But I…” Mar 15, 19:52
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “He won’t need that if he’s wearing blackface. Unless … what skin colour were the Picts? I think there’s a…” Mar 15, 18:35
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Feck knows what you’re on about, but if you think it’s true, go before a Justice of the Peace and…” Mar 15, 18:07
Chas on Looking up at the stars: “A wise man said ‘it is difficult to ignore the posts of Geri, Baird, Confused, Cheyne to name but a…” Mar 15, 16:45
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Alright Geri – if it’s not total nonsense, what date can we expect ration books to be introduced?” Mar 15, 15:18
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “HMcH Ah! You can take the shirker out of the Proud Boys but you can’t take the Proud Boys out…” Mar 15, 14:24
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “As long as he wears his stab vest he’ll be fine.” Mar 15, 13:45
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Good post, Geri. If what you write is true, Indy is becoming ever more of a slam dunk proposition with…” Mar 15, 13:26
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Fa’s Northy? Is he awa in London at the protest? If ye are, Northy, I’m the one wearing the tea…” Mar 15, 13:14
Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““It’s nonsensical demented ranted which isn’t based on any facts or evidence or analysis of any description.” LOL! Is two…” Mar 15, 13:01
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “What’s wrong with phrases up to and including; “The U.K. is a vassal state” “Scotland has no economy” “We’ll be…” Mar 15, 11:51
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “@Aidan What’s actually wrong with what Geri has stated. The content of the post touches on various relevant matters as…” Mar 15, 10:30
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Yes Geri – I am struggling to simultaneously; a) finish my morning coffee; and b) arrange for you to be…” Mar 15, 10:30
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “You can’t ever know for sure your dugs don’t fancy me, Geri. Try not to let that keep you awake…” Mar 15, 10:12
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Hark at shitface. The only thing you’ve signed up to in yer sad life is online chat forums 24/7. You’ve…” Mar 15, 10:01
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “On the plus side, Geri, the F16s will finally get off the ground. So not all bad.” Mar 15, 09:57
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Oh, you cannie multi task? Wid it be bot overload?” Mar 15, 09:55
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Naw, why don’t you give us a clue, Dumbo? We all know who uses “alert readers” tho to try mimic…” Mar 15, 09:50
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Enjoying the overnight posts. Good to see supposedly Sovereign Scots so keen to have a go. The first Orcs or…” Mar 15, 09:42
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “@James Isn’t your eyesight a bit “challenged” for you to be volunteering? I’m not seeing you manning any barricades unless…” Mar 15, 09:24
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Geri says: Boom. Boom. Alert readers will spot the other regulars who also say Boom. Boom. I wonder how many…” Mar 15, 09:14
