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Drawing blanks 40

Posted on August 23, 2023 by

Readers, we’ve got nothing.

Did you all get together and arrange this as a massive prank while we were out at the shops? Because if so, well done, you got us, but it’s time to own up.

The End Of The Enlightenment 487

Posted on August 19, 2023 by

Slacky The Holiday Boy is off for the next THREE weeks, gallivanting around the globe on the clearly excessive wages we’re paying him. We hope he does actually come back, because his home city is becoming a poisonously hostile place for the creative.

Around 300 years ago, Edinburgh was the birthplace and residence of the Scottish Enlightenment, a remarkable period of intellectual and scientific accomplishment built around “the importance of human reason combined with a rejection of any authority that could not be justified by reason”, and which led to the city being famously dubbed “the Athens of the North”.

But those days are past now.

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The Ultimate Joke 174

Posted on August 17, 2023 by

Fair play to The National, the use of the word “HIS” in this banner on their front page today might be the single funniest thing ever printed by a Scottish newspaper.

Because everyone and his dug in Scotland knows whose strategy it actually is, and how many years Pete Wishart spent traducing it as nonsense and furiously venting his overworked spleen at anyone who advocated it – right up to the point where Nicola Sturgeon adopted it in a desperate last attempt to keep the indy faithful pushing the SNP gravy bus, at which point it became the greatest masterplan of all time.

But today’s piece in the indy equivalent of the Daily Express (albeit with only a tenth of the sales) is so jawdropping that we doubt even Robert Oppenheimer would be up to the job of putting a scorchmark on Wishart’s brass neck, so let’s spend five minutes having a look at it before we go out for a bit of sunshine.

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The Man Who Sold The Jerseys 127

Posted on August 16, 2023 by

We’ve used this video before, but it’s extra-apt today.

Humza Yousaf is played here by Morgan Freeman, the big plane carrying the bomb is the independence movement and Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer are in the chopper.

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An old favourite 340

Posted on August 12, 2023 by

The word “NEW” is working pretty hard there, lads.

Another show, another scene 118

Posted on August 12, 2023 by

By The Book 95

Posted on August 11, 2023 by

Even quite alert Wings readers may not recall our brush with thoroughly obnoxious SNP councillor (and former chair of the misleadingly-named Aberdeen Independence Movement) Fatima Joji, because it happened such a long time ago.

But sometimes when someone behaves particularly egregiously in their professional role you have to at least give the proper grievance procedures a try (although it can prove very expensive to do so), and 13 months ago that’s what we did. We still have no idea how close we may be to the end of the process, but we have an update.

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Christmas is coming 168

Posted on August 09, 2023 by

Three weeks of summer left.

How’s it been for you?

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Gone Fishin’ 94

Posted on August 08, 2023 by

Look, we know. But there’s no news. Check out the state of it.

“KEYBOARD PLAYER ALLEGEDLY GOT FAT-SHAMED AT SOME UNSPECIFIED POINT IN TIME BY FOURTH-DIVISION BAND WHO LAST HAD A TOP 40 SINGLE IN 2006 and “CYCLIST GOES TO TOILET”. Front pages.

(The keyboard player now works for SNP pie-disposal unit Anne McLaughlin, ironically, which seems to be the closest relationship the story has with current affairs. But hey, kudos to the Record for beating all the other papers to that “exclusive”.)

We remain alert. If anything remotely worthwhile happens, we’ll be on it.

The Stupidity Of Vanity 891

Posted on July 31, 2023 by

The reality-TV let’s say “personality” Kelly Given – who Wings readers previously met on a trip to New York for Tartan Week with a raft of SNP let’s say “celebrities” a couple of months ago – has been off on another nice holiday.

Last night she told both the viewers of BBC Scotland’s “Seven Days” that she’d just spent three weeks on an island in Greece, where apparently she was quite shocked to discover that the Mediterranean nation was hot in July.

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Part of the problem 251

Posted on July 29, 2023 by

There was an independence rally in Ayr today. They got a fairly nice sunny day for it. But in the supposed “summer of independence”, the self-proclaimed “First Activist” wasn’t there. That’s because he was here instead.

As far as we’re aware, LGBT Youth Scotland remains under police investigation for the suspected grooming and sexual exploitation of children. It’s impossible to imagine any other sort of organisation that could still expect to enjoy the patronage of a First Minister under such circumstances – especially when there were obvious other places he could be reasonably expected to show his face – but that’s how the SNP’s priorities roll in 2023 and there’s no getting away from it.

For any question to do with independence, folks, Humza Yousaf is not the answer.

Boab The Builder 115

Posted on July 29, 2023 by

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    • Brian Crawford Hill on What Went On: “I’m not sure to which KC you are referring. The irony perhaps, as the KC for the appellants mentioned, is…Nov 29, 01:05
    • Robert Matthews on What Went On: “Will Alf Baird and James be attending? If not, why not?Nov 29, 00:19
    • ben madigan on What Went On: “many years ago I worked with a urology surgeon who had created a “penis” for a woman who wanted to…Nov 28, 23:47
    • Oneliner on What Went On: “Those from parties not based in and controlled by London/England. Some shuffling of desks and slippers may be required. House…Nov 28, 23:47
    • Gregory Beekman on What Went On: “She walked up to me and she asked me to dance I asked her her name and in a dark…Nov 28, 23:28
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    • znovak on What Went On: ““Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.” It is…Nov 28, 21:53
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    • Robert Matthews on What Went On: “Colonial Bingo- knock at the door 4.Nov 28, 21:37
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    • ben madigan on What Went On: “could I do that? Identify as a surgeon, I mean? I am confident I could scrub up and wear the…Nov 28, 21:18
    • Lorna Campbell on What Went On: “The KC involved in fighting the SG’s corner is a woman – the biological kind. She was just doing her…Nov 28, 21:09
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    • Hatey McHateface on What Went On: “What’s the status of our bet, then? £50 too rich for you? This time of year, there’s plenty of temp…Nov 28, 20:45
    • Hatey McHateface on What Went On: “Aw, are you missing him already? S’not even 24 hours. 🙂 Story I heard, he’s ordered a certificate of professorship…Nov 28, 20:40
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    • Alf Baird on What Went On: “Swinney himself would need to become pregnant to prove his case; tho A widna haud ma breith.Nov 28, 20:29
    • Nae Need! on What Went On: ““The UK Conservatives largely voted against the GRA 2004, but did little to repeal it when they returned to power.”…Nov 28, 20:28
    • Alf Baird on What Went On: “Private school fees have to be paid somehow.Nov 28, 20:25
    • Alf Baird on What Went On: “All that ethnic self-hatred is doing you no good, you know. Colonialism isnae really that difficult tae feegure oot: https://salvo.scot/scotlands-colonial-status/Nov 28, 20:23
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