As a lifelong political geek and former SNP and Alba Party member, I’ve spent years supporting Scotland’s independence movement. However, over the last few years, I’ve watched the campaign (as opposed to support for independence) wither away. Being a Scottish nationalist has become increasingly disheartening, like watching someone you love succumb to a slow, debilitating illness. In frustration, I switched off from my homeland and turned my focus to the drama of US politics.
Over the last three years I immersed myself in it, watching both left and right-wing outlets. I became so hooked and invested that I jumped on a plane to Washington DC for the 2024 election. I canvassed with DC Democrats in rural Pennsylvania (that’s me third from the left in the pic below), attended Kamala Harris’s concession rally, and went to Trump’s only watch party in DC.
My journey led me to believe that Scotland’s independence campaign could learn a great deal from Trump’s victory and the Democrats’ failure.
We’ll give you three guesses as to the highly controversial and extravagantly taxpayer-funded organisation that has its rainbow fingerprints all over this story, readers.
So it looks like the USA has elected a mad orange rapist convicted of 34 felonies who could yet be in jail by the time of his inauguration. (He would remain President even if that happened, which would be really funny.) And we can’t even blame them for it, because the alternative they were offered was, remarkably and stupendously, worse.
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Redaction is a tricky business, and comes with numerous pitfalls even if you’re being careful, which not everyone is. If you’re involved in creating a document you know will have to be redacted, there are a variety of safeguarding approaches you can adopt.
When I worked on a videogames magazine called Amiga Power in the 1990s, we ran a fun comedy feature about censorship. But because the company that published the magazine had had some unfortunate mishaps in the field, we took extra care by typing all the “offensive” words as random-length strings of Xs when we wrote the article.
And it was lucky that we did, because as you can see in the feature’s strapline, the art department misaligned the red redaction bar on some of them, and if there’d been a sweary in there it would have been easily identified.
Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: “For that comment, Spartan 117, we intend to cram you into a barrel of boiling tar. Then we’ll set fire…” May 30, 20:05
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “@sarah: ah, I see my original has been “passed”. I think it was the reference to JB wot done it.…” May 30, 20:01
Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““She has no breeding” Coming from you, Geri, that comment rates A++.” May 30, 19:56
Hatey McHateface on Marvola The Memory Woman: ““She has no breeding” From you, Geri, that comment rates A++.” May 30, 19:56
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Quite right. Fit dae they cants ken aboot being colonised? Here’s a thought. If you ken how tae use “schadenfreude”…” May 30, 19:48
ScotsCanuck on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “In the immortal words of Dick Emery “oh!! … you are awefull, but I like you” (gave my age away…” May 30, 19:41
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Strong, the memories of the rejection slips, in this one.” May 30, 19:37
Hatey McHateface on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Appeal to the masses. Join forces with Ronald Macdonald.” May 30, 19:35
Onlooker on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Not interested in the prurient schadenfreude mockery of anti-Scottish English middle class maggots.” May 30, 19:28
Onlooker on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Crime novels are boring, tedious shit. Seems like most of the writers in Scotland fart them out on a regular…” May 30, 19:26
sarah on Off-topic: “You know how to enjoy yourself, TC! Talking of dying laughing, Peter and myself were crying with laughter the other…” May 30, 19:20
Sean Duffy on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “If ever the proceeds of crime confiscations come into play, then Ernest Hemmingway’s ‘To Have and Have Not’ would be…” May 30, 18:54
Ex President Xiden on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Any truth in the rumour that Nicola once appeared on said Generation Game but had a disastrous final game when…” May 30, 18:53
robertkknight on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““How to Destroy a Country in 10 Easy Steps” https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Destroy-Country-Easy-Steps-ebook/dp/B0F715Z9MM” May 30, 18:49
sarah on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Hear, hear. And for the Rev’s next trick, perhaps join with Peter A Bell and Roddy Macdonald in a new…” May 30, 18:39
Ex President Xiden on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “And they would have got away with it if it hadn’t been for that pesky Rev.” May 30, 18:19
agentx on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “HIGNFY is a satirical comedy show and mock every political party. But the show last night was great.” May 30, 17:40
100%Yes on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “From Grand Tour to the sewer. Quite a legacy it’ll take some beating.” May 30, 16:53
Brotyboy on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “If you watched HIGNFY last night and saw the first item, which was about 12 minutes on the Murrell scandal…” May 30, 16:53
agentx on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: ““The former First Minister was scheduled to interview author Kirsty Lockwood next week about her debut novel We Know What…” May 30, 16:52
Muscleguy on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “Or A Tale Told In Blood And Hard Black Fancy Pen And for an over title of the whole lot…” May 30, 16:38