Here’s the Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron, speaking to BBC News this morning and giving a striking illustration of the term “dancing on the head of a pin”.
Comically, his excuse for demanding another referendum on leaving the EU while opposing a second Scottish independence referendum is that his new EU vote would be a completely different question – he’d be asking voters if they wanted to accept the Brexit deal and exit from the EU (which one might reasonably summarise on the ballot paper as “Leave”), or to refuse to approve the deal and stay in the EU (or put another way, “Remain”).
Glad we cleared that up, then. But then it got weirder.
The announcement that the Scottish Government would seek the uncontested legal right to hold a second independence referendum met with an outpouring of rage and ignorance from the massed ranks of the UK media that was in one sense entirely predictable yet still startling in its fury and ferocity.
Most prominent was the assertion, stated as fact by every pundit and broadcaster – including those required by law to be fair and impartial – that a second referendum would be conducted in the environment of a significantly worse economic case.
And that’s a remarkable claim, because the indisputable fact is that nobody has the slightest clue what the economic case for No will be.
Judging by the first 24 hours, we’re in for a two-year festival of utter horror from the UK and Scottish media. Yesterday saw a never-ending parade of metrosplaining idiots dragged willingly in front of cameras and microphones to pontificate their clueless and mind-numbingly ignorant drivel about Scotland.
It wasn’t possible to keep track of it all, because it was frequently happening on five channels at once, and it was harder still to watch it for any extended period of time without hurling a brick through the screen in frustration at the offensive stupidity of it.
Feeding into that was a stream of Scottish politicians who actually did know better, but who are too catastrophically dim to adapt to changing circumstances and had no strategy other than to endlessly repeat the same cretinous soundbites over and over.
(Adam Tomkins in particular was ubiquitous, spending what felt like several hours on various airwaves reciting the same brainless 10-second schtick forever.)
The constitutional politics of the UK and Scotland are in flux, and many aspects of the situation are complicated. But quite a lot of them aren’t, and if we’re all going to make it through the next two years without stabbing each other in the throat, it’d be a lot better if everyone accepted the things that are definite, empirical, indisputable facts.
Alert readers will of course be aware that one of this site’s most frequently-recurring themes is “phantom news”, whereby events or unpleasant opinions that newspapers or broadcasters really want to have happened are conveniently brought to life, either by some random nobody on the internet, or an unnamed “source” or “insider”.
So when Nicola Sturgeon did something today that nearly everyone in the Northern Hemisphere knew she was going to do sometime soon, but wasn’t expecting just yet, there wasn’t time to prepare actual real people with the required quotes.
In the modern media world, though, that isn’t a problem.
Skip_NC on Only An Excuse: “Does anyone who is not confused believe the SFA’s warblings since the weekend? Seriously, they don’t come close to reality.…” May 22, 02:06
Skip_NC on Only An Excuse: “It should not take thirty seconds to issue and record a caution in professional football. As you go further down…” May 22, 01:52
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Only An Excuse: “I’m going to need all of that in English.” May 22, 00:56
Confused on Only An Excuse: “the authorities have made their statement, there is nothing in it. The ref decides, he doesn’t need to blow his…” May 21, 22:39
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “@sarah: thanks for that. It’s back to brassicas then……” May 21, 22:31
Andy Wiltshire on Only An Excuse: “I had no idea there were that many people in MI6.” May 21, 22:12
Bill Scullion on Only An Excuse: “The SFA simply don’t want to take a chance that Hearts come back to them with the same arguments as…” May 21, 21:54
Southernbystander on The Land Of No Laws: “Geri, I daresay this is part of the wider conversation above and I did not read all of it. I…” May 21, 21:14
sarah on Off-topic: “That’s a good idea about the hens, Dan – several neighbours have them. Yes, we have corrugated iron sheets to…” May 21, 21:13
Northcode on The Queer Parliament: ““…the ‘trans’ sadism and madness needs to be removed before independence, Alf…” Not so, that’s retrospective determinism — treating the…” May 21, 21:09
Geri on Only An Excuse: “Do you remember who it was that brought that shit to Scotland? They should be sued for all the money…” May 21, 20:50
Dan on Off-topic: “I reckon snails could easily travel a hunner yards back to a succulent cabbage leaf. Best to get some chickens…” May 21, 20:46
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Dan, LOL! Lorncal “Personally, I have no faith in the UN. It is filled to the gunnels with former colonized…” May 21, 20:44
Alf Baird on The Queer Parliament: ““Scotland’s malady is tribalism” The colonizer will always manipulate and ‘exploit tribal rivalries’ (Fanon), we know this from postcolonial theory.…” May 21, 20:42
agentx on Only An Excuse: ““21 May 2026, 18:37 BST Single-sex spaces – such as changing rooms and toilets – must be used on the…” May 21, 20:28
Scot Finlayson on Only An Excuse: “4 bookings after 90 mins, refs ,generally, put on 30 seconds per booking, so another 2 minutes should have been…” May 21, 20:27
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Surely a blinkered attitude if you stand to make a killing by betting on how long he will last as…” May 21, 20:27
George Ferguson on Only An Excuse: “Well that was the 5 days up and there we have it, nothing to see here move on. The reputational…” May 21, 20:19
sarah on Off-topic: “If your wee ones want to see more than one large snail, I recommend leaving one or more kale [or…” May 21, 20:18
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Arse over tit, Bilbo. The policies over the past 4+ years were sane and rational. It’s the buying of diesel…” May 21, 20:17
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Another one that doesn’t understand “Scroll on. Piss off” Leave her alone eh? Yer one post today had to be…” May 21, 20:16
Lorncal on The Queer Parliament: “Stuart: that was not my point. It will only come back to reality when the pressures start to show the…” May 21, 20:14
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Hey Alf. Did you know that Northy posts in praise of you as well? He also writes that the only…” May 21, 20:10
Paul Eden on Only An Excuse: “Outrageous, not fair, biased. Who knew?” May 21, 20:09
Bilbo on The Queer Parliament: “O/T. I see that the UK is lifting sanctions and buying oil produced by R via India. They do this…” May 21, 19:56
GM on The Queer Parliament: “It’s a toss up between her and Ivan McKee who is the best minister amongst them. I see Somerville still…” May 21, 19:56
Calum on Only An Excuse: “What’s even more depressing is, I have a couple of mates who are most def not Celtic fans who have…” May 21, 19:53
Bilbo on The Queer Parliament: “I have no interest in English politics but it’s obvious Burnham is only seen a popular candidate to become PM…” May 21, 19:50
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Never wis ony union, Alf? If only I had £1 for every time you’ve sat stumm after some thicko on…” May 21, 19:47
sarah on Off-topic: “Hi Tinto and Marie, I agree that it is all very depressing and worrying. The crookedness, incompetence, and obsession with…” May 21, 19:44
