Don Paterson is a celebrated Scottish poet, writer and musician. The essay below comes from a new anthology of Scottish writers called Irish Pages: Scotland, and is reproduced with his permission.
Remember The Vow? Most of us have tried to forget it. This was Westminster’s Hail Mary as polling day approached in the 2014 referendum; a vote that Yessers – people tend to forget this part too – initially had no real expectation of winning, until an inspirationally positive campaign saw the polls draw neck-and-neck.
Then lo! There it was, splashed across the Daily Record: a fancy-font promise from Westminster party leaders that if Scotland voted to stay within the UK, we would enjoy new devolved powers. There was some other waffle about defence and opportunities and having an equal share in the UK’s prosperity. But the message was clear enough. We would be listened to.
The Scottish Tory MSP reacted furiously to a story in The National which said Scotland had been absorbed into England by the 1707 Act Of Union, rather than becoming a “partner” in anything, and had ceased to exist as a state in international law.
Which was a weird response, because that’s been the official stated position of both the UK government and the Conservative Party for at least the last 12 years.
Despite everything, we almost allowed ourselves just the very tiniest little micro-flicker of optimism when we read Tommy Sheppard’s latest in The National.
Because that much is certainly true, and it’s uncommonly candid to have anyone in the SNP admit it. So what’s the answer?
(Kelly’s article is here. Link to Grok’s answer here. The ChatGPT analysis that triggered the article can be read in this tweet thread. A verifiable analysis by Grok of the debate, based on a neutral question, can be read here.)
The legal imprint at the bottom means that that’s official SNP election communication. One assumes it’s intended for leaflets to be put through actual voters’ letterboxes.
Hi! I noticed, with very considerable amusement, your complaint last night that I hadn’t made a “substantive reply” to the [EDIT] EIGHT posts (totalling nearly 11,000 words) of semi-coherent ranting about me that you’ve made on your site in the last eight days.
(I’ll be absolutely honest, I’ve only skimmed the last few.)
We both know the reason that’s so tear-streamingly comical, of course.
In so far as it’s worth talking about Scottish constitutional politics at all these days, it’s worth taking a moment to analyse the bloodless, anodyne nothingness spouted by the First Minister on The Sunday Show at the weekend.
That clip is less than three minutes long, but it’s so soul-crushingly boring and full of content-free drone and waffle that it’s almost impossible to sit all the way through it, so we’re going to translate and summarise it for you.
Warning: despite the quite zingy title this is actually going to be a very dry stats post, readers. It is, on the other hand, based on a man having something disturbingly close to a complete psychotic mental breakdown, so there’s always that for a bit of colour.
Because the paragraph above, and in particular the highlighted part, is without a doubt the most dishonest, diametrically false and wildly extreme lie about Scottish politics that we’ve ever seen anyone tell in the 13.5 years of Wings Over Scotland’s existence.
And as a rule we don’t bother addressing them because they’re so demented you could spend 5,000 words pulling apart all the individual strands of lunacy every time, and lunatics thrive on attention, but this one does merit a very brief comment.
Because “Vote Labour, get indy” wasn’t our plan. It was John Swinney’s.
As readers may already be aware, my main hobby to distract myself from my day job in the profoundly depressing world of politics is to delve into retro videogaming via my Retropie. It’s an endlessly rewarding fount of discovery and entertainment for many reasons, but sometimes the two spheres collide in extremely unexpected ways.
So let’s talk about GORF.
Midway’s 1981 arcade hit was a pioneering and innovative game. It was the first game to be comprised of multiple highly distinct sub-games, boldly including direct lifts of other people’s coin-ops in the form of Space Invaders and Galaxian. And while it wasn’t the first arcade game to feature synthesised speech – it was beaten to that punch by the likes of Berzerk and Wizard Of Wor the previous year – it was famous for the extensive and iconic vocabulary with which it taunted and goaded the player.
It got numerous conversions of variable quality to various home systems, whether as contemporary licences or later homebrew ports, and that’s where we come in.
James Che on Anything But That: “What date did the treaty of union find it was spent and expired, can anyone that states it is no…” Sep 7, 14:03
Northcode on Anything But That: ““I like your turncoat attitude more and more.” Thanks, James. Your agreement with my structural analysis of ‘no longer relevant…” Sep 7, 13:57
James Che on Anything But That: “Including Scotland, Wales or Ireland requiring permission to remove themselves from a spent treaty.” Sep 7, 13:51
James Che on Anything But That: “I have to admit I am enjoying the mythical theory that Scotland, England, Wales and Ireland hold no such 1707…” Sep 7, 13:46
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “I mind when I learned that Tolkien was invalided out of the front line in the Great War and never…” Sep 7, 13:31
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “HMcH @ 8.56 Try the de-caff..” Sep 7, 13:24
James Che on Anything But That: “The 1707 treaty of union had economics and financial collections, taxation and revenues, Treasury benefits wrote into it that benefited…” Sep 7, 13:18
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Some see it as a very clear indicator of an over regulatory state pursuing a punitive taxation regime in order…” Sep 7, 13:14
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Surely if you believe the oppressed ethnic group are primarily Scots speakers, Alf, there’s little point in quoting Fanon, Hechter,…” Sep 7, 13:07
James Che on Anything But That: “North code. I like your turncoat attitude more and more. In your explanations you are quite thorough in Stating that…” Sep 7, 12:44
Captain Caveman on Anything But That: ““This implies that some colonially-minded people may reject their own liberation totally irrespective of any ‘economic case’, as arguably occurred…” Sep 7, 12:31
Alf Baird on Anything But That: ““Assuming there is a convincing economic case” We should not forget that ‘independence is a cultural emotion’ (Fanon), which explains…” Sep 7, 12:06
Willie on Anything But That: “And whilst we are talking about British economic success stories like JLR shedding thousands of jobs due to declining sales…” Sep 7, 11:47
Willie on Anything But That: “And whilst we are talking about British economic success stories like JLR shedding thousands of jobs due to declining sales…” Sep 7, 11:45
Willie on Anything But That: “China, now there’s a country that developed and grown its economy to where it is today. Yes around one in…” Sep 7, 11:36
Northcode on Anything But That: “A Tolkienian metaphor: One emerald tapestry of stories woven from the past, One land of songs and dragons, One untamed…” Sep 7, 10:43
Captain Caveman on Anything But That: ““Assuming there is a convincing economic case.” Well, quite. Said case needs to be credibly and comprehensively made, preferably by…” Sep 7, 10:43
Captain Caveman on Anything But That: “Yes, absolutely Hatey. That’s the principal reason I hate the Woke/Metropolitan Left so very much: it’s penchant to purposely ignore…” Sep 7, 10:34
factchecker on Anything But That: “Seems rather defeatist, T. Surely it should not be beyond the wit of roughly 50% of the Scottish people to…” Sep 7, 10:11
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Sure, MH, but with so many products now, that ship has sailed. For just about all homeware, electrical products and…” Sep 7, 10:06
Northcode on Anything But That: “There is some confusion surrounding the Claim of Right and many folk don’t fully understand what the 1689 document actually…” Sep 7, 09:58
TURABDIN on Anything But That: “@Northcode «TURABDIN is chasing symbols: UN intervention external validation geopolitical rescue fatalistic narratives» «AgentX is describing strategy: democratic legitimacy internal…” Sep 7, 09:49
Minceheid on Anything But That: “I can’t argue with you on that, but should you not be assigning at least some of the blame to…” Sep 7, 09:39
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “All that you say there is correct, CC. But it has to be added, that sam routinely and regularly posts…” Sep 7, 09:23
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Site spoilers, Auld Lochnagar? Posters laughing at you for charging about wielding your plastic claymore, and raising a glass in…” Sep 7, 08:56
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Take your blinkers off, Willie. European and indeed western automotive industries are being decimated by the Covid Spreaders. It’s part…” Sep 7, 08:44
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “See, Auld Lochnagar? Isn’t life so much simpler and easier when you stay in your comfort zone?” Sep 7, 08:26
Captain Caveman on Anything But That: “Well, allow me to chime in too, Sam: you are indeed an obnoxious, depressingly verbose metropolitan lefty (and a complete…” Sep 7, 08:12
Willie on Anything But That: “Oh dear another emblem of British decline has just hove into tje public view with the announcement that foreign owned…” Sep 7, 07:20
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Maturity, realism, and strategy. The foundation of any draft to a constitution or Bill of Rights for a nation working…” Sep 7, 06:18
