So, British politics, eh? We’re basically on strike until things make at least an iota of sense, because there’s no point in attempting political analysis right now when events can overtake you before you’ve finished typing a sentence.
But let’s just have a quick recap on what we know.
So it seems like our semi-idle musings about the possibility of starting a new list party for the Scottish Parliament generated some interest last month.
(That’s more than the whole of 2018, more than the whole of 2017, and over five times the previous biggest single month since we moved to our current stats provider in December 2014.)
But yeah, nobody cares and it’d be certain to fail, apparently.
We just watched a nine-minute segment on Sky News, purportedly on the subject of “Is the Union between Scotland and England under threat?”, which for maximum balance and impartiality included views from both Labour and the Tories – in the forms of Paul Sweeney MP and John Lamont MP – but nobody else.
Both men spouted some quite extraordinary claims, all of which went unchallenged by presenter Adam Boulton. Let’s just take a quick look at a couple of the best ones.
Boris Johnson’s move to prorogue Parliament for most of September and a chunk of October actually only represents a couple of weeks of extra holiday time for MPs – Westminster would be shut for most of the time in question anyway for party conference season.
The Commons would open for business again on 14 October, in time to debate the outcome of a crucial European Council summit on 17-18 October. If that meeting doesn’t provide any new deal – and it’s vanishingly unlikely that it will – then there’ll be no time for anything other than a no-deal Brexit.
We see Gordon Brown is celebrating his 500th article promising “federalism” in the Scottish media today. Which is nice. We always enjoy hearing about the stuff Labour pretends it’s going to do when it’s in power.
But like everyone who’s been waiting 100 years and counting for it to abolish the House Of Lords (a pledge which also gets another runout in Brown’s latest intervention, bless him), we won’t be holding our breath.
If you’re a writer for a living and you want to check if something you’ve written might be embarrassingly stupid, there’s an easy and quick technique you can use.
By way of example, here’s Kenny Farquharson in the Times today, on the subject of the supposed similarities in the relationships between the Tories and the Brexit Party, and the SNP and the potential new Wings party:
So here’s the trick: switch the protagonists around.
We really can’t be bothered with having the GERS “debate” again, in which all the same people make all the same exactly opposite spins on the exact same data. Minor annual fluctuations aside, the core reality is the same as the one we repeat every 12 months, and serious economists on both sides of the political divide still treat the figures with the disdain they properly merit.
One such person is Richard Murphy, and in an excellent piece today he posted a version of this graph which did catch our jaded eye. It purports to show the share of UK debt supposedly accounted for by Scotland – which has, let’s remember, just 8% of the UK’s population – in each of the last 16 years, and which immediately prior to the SNP’s 2011 majority stood at almost exactly that of our population share.
How very remarkable, some readers may feel, that the extent of Scotland’s supposed responsibility for the UK’s debt should have rocketed so very dramatically at the exact point when independence became a live political question.
It does rather make you wonder why the UK government, scraping as it is for every penny of possible savings, seems more and more desperate to hang onto Scotland as the terrible economic burden we become on the rest of the country grows ever heavier.
Truly, our partners in this great equal and bountiful union must be the most generous and forgiving people on Earth. We don’t deserve them.
Young Lochinvar on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Beggars Aye very good bumpkin. Didn’t work out very well for you first time round Adolf -“old boy” eh?” May 5, 16:20
Young Lochinvar on Binfire Of The Vanities: “James @ 12.33 Aye, auld Hatey gets upset if you don’t refer to his sodomite sins that he considers mere…” May 5, 16:13
agentx on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““The SNP was formed in 1934 through the merger of the National Party of Scotland and the Scottish Party, with…” May 5, 16:12
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: “All the posturing and analysing and guesswork (tho we already all know the only winner will be England) surrounding Thursday’s…” May 5, 16:11
Cynicus on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““ Be under no illusions – The SNP leadership is working FOR the UK.” ========== Absolutely. Any YOON with half…” May 5, 16:10
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Aye Northcode, aw the tricks and deceits o colonialism are in full sway here in the auld colony. Oor supposed…” May 5, 15:35
Insider on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Fatso @ 12:38 “looks like it’s newspaper stand business has folded….” Jeezus ! How old are you, Fatso ? Newspaper…” May 5, 15:26
lothianlad on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Another brilliant analysis Stu! Unlike the pretendy indy supporter called… goes pop. The SNP are under direct orders to stiffle…” May 5, 14:14
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Aye, Geri; You would think there’s a colonial election soon or something….. They’e piling in like pedos with sweeties at…” May 5, 14:10
Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “And jist what are Aidan’s relevant qualifications and work experience for him to be such an expert on fossil fuel…” May 5, 13:55
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““Scotland’s colonial ‘condition’ and role of the Kirk” This is letter to The Moderator of The Church of Scotland written…” May 5, 13:43
Geri on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Looks like someone has increased the twats pay per post from a penny to a whole 5p. He’s flooded the…” May 5, 13:38
Aidan on Seven Days Too Long: “Thank you for that brilliant summary of the macroeconomics of the oil industry. All this oil being stolen by paedos…” May 5, 13:30
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““You know nothing of God” Indeed, and arguably the missionary aspect of colonialism never needed to know much about God,…” May 5, 13:24
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “@Northy I think you’re overlooking the black, Scottish boy who appeared in several episodes of Porridge. Educate yourself, Dude! BTW.…” May 5, 13:23
Geri on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Yet, Shiteface, It isn’t the religion of peace invading other countries spreading tyranny, hunger, petulance, famine & death now is…” May 5, 13:12
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““Mainstream Media vs. Alternative Media” The distinction between mainstream and alternative media lies in their content, audience, and financial structure.…” May 5, 13:07
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “How odd. Northy seems to have an AI that produces output in English – the lying language of the coloniser.…” May 5, 13:07
Mark Beggan on Binfire Of The Vanities: “This election for me is not about voting for this or that. It’s about standing on the right side of…” May 5, 13:07
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Careful how you flap your flippers, James. But I guess you never heard of Onan, outside of your library of…” May 5, 13:00
Alf Baird on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““We’ll never be a nation again until we learn to mean what we say” Indeed so, Hatey. And, on the…” May 5, 12:55
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Taking some time out from his tour of the fishing ports of the Moray Firth, James the Walrus graces us…” May 5, 12:52
Cynicus on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Great Question The only one of your answers that matters is anti-SNP. These devoUnionists are a stronger bulwark of continuing…” May 5, 12:45
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: “By the way, I’ve read several versions of the Bible, each of them a few times over, and an English…” May 5, 12:44
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: “For fuck’s sake, Sven, that pish is from the Old Testament which even God tells me (in a dream) wis…” May 5, 12:44
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Quoting your imaginary friend again? Bless.” May 5, 12:42
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““merely requires better understanding of our colonial condition” Sigh. I guess the most depressing part of that statement is that…” May 5, 12:39
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “looks like it’s newspaper stand business has folded….” May 5, 12:38
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““mainstream media blackout and censorship” OFFS, Alf! What century are you inhabiting? What you write of means NOTHING in today’s…” May 5, 12:34
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Hmmmm…..the “Site Prick” is now obsessed with “bumming”. Interesting segue. Who knew?” May 5, 12:33