Back in the 1980s there was a hit game for the ZX Spectrum home computer called Worse Things Happen At Sea. In it you play a robot whose job is to get a heavily-laden cargo ship safely to port, except that more and more disasters keep befalling it.
It springs leaks, it veers off course, the engine overheats and the robot’s power runs down, until eventually the catalogue of catastrophes overwhelms the harassed metallic custodian and the boat slides down into the murky depths.
We wonder if that feels familiar to anyone at the moment.
On 23rd March this year, after Alex Salmond was found not guilty of 13 criminal charges in the High Court, I called on the Scottish Government to set up a judge-led inquiry into the allegation that he had been the subject of a conspiracy involving the Scottish Government, which resulted in him being accused of criminal behaviour.
There’s an especially interesting post on the blog of Scottish solicitor-advocate Gordon Dangerfield at the moment, pointing out that there are no legal reasons whatever for the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) to be withholding documents relating to the allegations against Alex Salmond, and indeed issuing dire threats of prosecution against him or anyone who might put them into the public domain.
(All of the blog’s coverage of the inquiry in general has been expert and revealing, and should be the first stop for readers seeking to understand proceedings.)
The items in question include the infamous WhatsApp messages exchanged by the group of people attempting to have Salmond imprisoned for crimes he didn’t commit, among them SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
When two of Murrell’s messages were leaked recently it was front-page news in the Scottish press, and generated a huge amount of subsequent coverage. Commentators as diverse as Mandy Rhodes of Holyrood magazine and Alex Massie of the Times and Spectator have noted that while they’d initially disbelieved talk of a conspiracy, the Scottish Government’s actions have given them the opposite impression.
The message log is absolutely central to Salmond’s claim of a conspiracy against him, so the last thing that either COPFS or the leadership of the SNP wants is for it to become public knowledge. Indeed, COPFS has denied that the messages exist at all, which makes it a bit weird that the police are currently conducting a serious criminal investigation into who leaked some apparently entirely imaginary documents.
So it would be quite astonishing if they suddenly disappeared, wouldn’t it?
Readers, we can’t tell you how much we want to get back to just dissecting Scotland’s hopeless Unionist media for a living. It’s a lot more fun than what the current political circumstances are obliging us to do, so you can hardly imagine our excitement when we spotted what looked like an open goal in yesterday’s Mail On Sunday.
Our ears pricked up immediately at the sight of the words “up to”, which is invariably a sign of dodgy doings on the way, and so it proved. The article contained no solid data at all about the size of Scottish Government special advisers’ pay rises, only how many SpAds there were and which general pay bands they were in, each of which spans a wide range of between £14,000 and £23,000.
But while the Mail had spooned the sitter six feet over the crossbar – because the crude spin they’d put on it was total rubbish – there was still a loose ball just waiting to be knocked into the back of the net.
The SNP’s earth-shattering 2011 majority election victory, which paved the way for the 2014 independence referendum, dropped a bomb on Scottish politics.
What few people realised at the time was that it was also going to set up a series of massive paydays for one of Scotland’s wealthiest demographics: lawyers.
SNP Members For Independence? What a ridiculous phrase – surely every member of the SNP is in favour of independence, right?
That’s mostly true of course, but the leadership and many elected representatives of the party appear to be intent on repeating the failed Section 30 route to independence, and also on restricting serious debate about alternative strategies.
It seems that a revised “Plan B” may be discussed at the party conference, still almost two months away, and for all Plan B’s merits it is seriously flawed and its inclusion at the expense of alternative and better plans at conference would merely pay lip service to the term “serious debate”
Something clearly needed to be done, which is why SNP Members For Indy has been set up. So what’s it for and what is it trying to do?
We’re very busy today writing more FOI requests and the like, so we’ll just take a brief moment here to note that hiring super-expensive lawyers to object to the questions you’re being asked DEFINITELY sounds like the behaviour of people who are keen to co-operate fully and in the most transparent way possible with an inquiry:
Having been privileged to serve as SNP National Treasurer, I’m aware of the duties that go with the post. Of course, it’s changed in some ways since then due to the scale of the party, the resources available and even technology. The days are long gone when Joan Knott, who has sadly since passed away, required to take a taxi down to my legal office to have cheques signed between court or clients.
But some things still remain fundamental, and in particular providing annual accounts for the party. That has been done for 2019, in the administrative sense, but what’s missing is their publication and provision either to the NEC or the party more widely.
For sure there’s been no conference but there are other bodies and other ways of making them available to party members. At NEC, conference and indeed anywhere else, members were entitled to see them and question me. It was their right to see them, and it remains so now. So why haven’t they seen them?
A column on a Sturgeon-loyalist indy website that we read yesterday has been mildly annoying us ever since, and in the interests of open debate (but mainly because it’s cold and grey and rainy outside and we can’t go out and feed the swans) we thought it was worth taking half an hour to walk through it a little and explain just why it’s such a dangerous piece of fantasy nonsense.
But first here’s one of said swans. She’s about five months old and her adult feathers are just starting to come through. Isn’t she lovely?
In case things get a bit rough later we’ve got some squirrels and a really fat dachshund as emergency backup, so buckle in.
The comments from committee convener and SNP MP Linda Fabiani (we guess she must be another of those MI5 plants/secret Unionists) are really quite extraordinary. In terms of Parliamentary language they’re only a hair’s-breadth short of an invitation to step outside and settle things with an old-school dust-up in the car park.
paul on Job Half Done: “vMs Sturgeon was utterly deceived and let down by her husband whom she had trusted. No need to bring up…” Jun 24, 07:39
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““am i missing something” You forgot to say “we’re doomed!”. “Nothing, and I mean nothing, is off limits in what…” Jun 24, 07:30
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““But if an MSP in Holyrood were to do the same, they would likely find themselves facing down prosecution” To…” Jun 24, 07:21
Captain Caveman on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““… information and Unionist annoyance was in order..” I can’t speak for anyone else, but no annoyance from my side…” Jun 24, 07:08
Hatey McHateface on The End Of Law: “Nobody should listen much to somebody who self-identifies as a “hobbit” from a set of frankly ludicrous fairy tales. If…” Jun 24, 06:53
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Wow! A blow by blow account of your wee, small hours posting effort, finishing at your peak tonto time, 1:45…” Jun 24, 06:48
Willie on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Murrell is now in prison guilty of embezzling over £400k of funds. The police and prosecution have been through the…” Jun 24, 06:18
Marco McGinty on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Indeed. Neither Fred West or Jimmy Savile (and many others) stood in the dock for their collective crimes. Does Anwar…” Jun 24, 05:31
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I write this at around 1am on the 24th of June, the anniversary of the second day of the Battle…” Jun 24, 01:43
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “What exactly is that human rights lawyer ( apols can’t be bothered looking up his name), champion of the underdog…” Jun 24, 00:42
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Yes Apparently during all these years “Honest John” was a nobody.. Really?? Hmmmm 7th level of hell Johnny boy..” Jun 23, 23:47
Young Lochinvar on The End Of Law: “Wilma Flintstone That sounds like a compliment wrapped up in an insult covered in a biscuit.. Eff aff ya nobody..” Jun 23, 23:39
Angus on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““But the former is absolutely black with her sticky fingerprints, plainly visible to anyone. She was the leader of the…” Jun 23, 23:39
Angus on Job Half Done: ““Be assured, readers, that Wings won’t rest until it is.” Amen to that.” Jun 23, 23:22
Angus on Job Half Done: “I agree with C Mac Kay that he will be out within six months. They will find a way to…” Jun 23, 23:20
agentx on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “No confusion – if someone has dangly bits they go to a male prison – if they don’t then they…” Jun 23, 23:09
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Search assistant info: « Glenn Campbell’s Brain Tumour Diagnosis Glenn Campbell, the political editor for BBC Scotland, was diagnosed with…” Jun 23, 20:26
Confused on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “people wondering why she wasn’t investigated/charged properly by people whoses bosses bosses boss – WORKS FOR HER and/or got their…” Jun 23, 20:24
Southernbystander on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I wonder what ‘beyond outrageous’ really looks like? These things tend to be circular so actually it may simply be,…” Jun 23, 20:09
MaryB on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I see that Nicola’s got two Herald headlines this evening. Still protesting her innocence. Funny that. If she was innocent,…” Jun 23, 20:04
Glenn Boyd on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: ““Full interview with the police on what it took to prosecute Peter Murrell” is available on YOUTUBE in which the…” Jun 23, 19:58
Louise Hogg on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Agree. Probably a deliberate ‘oversight’, so Holyrood and particularly the Institutions mentioned, could be populated and controlled by UK State…” Jun 23, 19:36
Derek on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I’m not a lawyer, but is it entirely wise to keep issuing statements basically saying “Fuck you, copper, you’ve got…” Jun 23, 19:29
Louise Hogg on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Because, at heart, many criminals eventually WANT to be caught, accused, and held accountable. Once the constant threat of unpredictable…” Jun 23, 19:24
Bilbo on The End Of Law: “Been watching clips on YouTube and the Tartan armies stay in Boston has been a breath of fresh air but…” Jun 23, 18:55
Bilbo on The End Of Law: “@ Sam Main, Aidan, Caveman et all are absolute roasters but that doesn’t mean you have to be contrarian to…” Jun 23, 18:49
Bilbo on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “This is where the house of cards that is Trans ideology starts to fall down. If a Trans woman is…” Jun 23, 18:46
Wally Jumblatt on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Reporters & journalists (mainstream that is) The print press in Scotland has been kept on life support by the Scottish…” Jun 23, 18:37