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A thousand miles of stupid 233

Posted on February 04, 2015 by

Even we can’t quite believe this one, readers.

Good grief, where do we even start?

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An unsettling development 110

Posted on January 30, 2015 by

Since we’ve been talking about mad letters from Scottish Labour MPs today, we’re sharing this one with you too. We’ve been trying to make sense of it all evening.

darlingletter

We haven’t made any progress. It’s not just a simple accidental transposition of words, because if you switch “increased” and “decreased” around it’s still gibberish – why would the threat have decreased because of proliferation? If anyone can explain it, do drop us a line.

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A couple of hours off 170

Posted on January 30, 2015 by

Because there’s really no satire we can add to this magnificent zoomery:

mccann

So we might as well pop out to the shops for a bit.

Every land an island 210

Posted on January 14, 2015 by

An alert reader pointed us today to this audio clip of Jim Murphy. It’s not tagged, but we THINK it’s from a Radio Clyde interview about three weeks ago which oddly didn’t seem to get picked up at the time by anyone in the media.

It’s an interesting viewpoint.

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The succulent bams 249

Posted on January 13, 2015 by

Jim Murphy didn’t turn up at Westminster today to vote with the Tories for £30bn of austerity cuts, like 28 of his Scottish Labour colleagues did. That’s because he was taking some Scottish journalists to lunch to explain an important thing to them.

murphynot

We’ve been sat staring at a blank paragraph for the last 10 minutes trying to think of something satirical to say. We’ve got nothing, readers.

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Reaching out to Yes 126

Posted on January 09, 2015 by

Alert readers may recall that since the election of Jim Murphy as Scottish Labour branch office manager he’s barely gone a moment without promising to “reach out” to Yes voters. Last month he even pledged that he’d employ some in his team if he won the Labour job.

murphyreach

We imagine they’ll be fair hammering on his door after the latest addition to his crew, because today’s Herald reveals that Murphy’s new chief of staff, and joining “Better Together” director Blair McDougall among Jim’s backroom boys, is to be our old pal John “there will be no referendum” McTernan.

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A minor detail 192

Posted on January 05, 2015 by

From today’s Telegraph:

telegraphsturgeon

Actual number of children belonging to Nicola Sturgeon and Peter Murrell: 0.

You literally can’t make this stuff up.

One thousand louder 142

Posted on January 05, 2015 by

We had to extend our festive semi-break for a day to deal with some administrative matters, readers, but it’s just as well, because the thing that happened today would have defied our best attempts at either analysis or satire.

1000louder

That’s a real thing we didn’t make up. Saints preserve us.

Diversification strategy 137

Posted on December 26, 2014 by

Wait, what?

scottories1

We know there’s a lot of talk of the other Unionist parties stepping aside in order to give Scottish Labour a clear run in 2015, in a desperate attempt to stop the SNP from picking up too many seats, but this is surely taking it a bit far.

Granny’s at the gin again 220

Posted on December 24, 2014 by

We missed this on Sunday, because it was 17 minutes into on the short-lived and unlamented “Crossfire” (now binned for a Sunday edition of “Good Morning Scotland”) and therefore pretty much everyone in Scotland missed it. It’s former Labour minister Helen Liddell, or as we should properly address her, Baroness Liddell of Coatdyke.

[audio http://worldofstuart.excellentcontent.com/liddell-crossfire-21dec2014.mp3 ]

We’ve spared you her subsequent painful bleating about a general election 35 years ago that she doesn’t seem to have quite gotten over, but we couldn’t help raising an eyebrow at her curious assessment of the referendum result, which we suspect fellow guest Andrew “Lallands Peat Worrier” Tickell was simply too stunned to react to.

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The alpha ned 219

Posted on December 22, 2014 by

Fans of the bewildering in Scottish politics don’t look set to be disappointed in 2015.

murphyfootball

Jim Murphy’s only been the Scottish Labour “leader” for a week, but already he seems hell-bent on hurling the party’s North British branch into the padded walls of its cell with more vigour than ever before, heroically ignoring the open door.

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The best-laid plans 195

Posted on December 07, 2014 by

Social media has been alive in recent days with No voters concocting a fiendish plan to vote tactically against the SNP at next year’s general election. Labour supporters are urging people to vote Conservative rather than let the SNP take any new seats which might be used to secure a better devolution settlement for Scotland.

bestlaid1

We’re not sure the Nats have too much to worry about.

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    • Morgatron on Nicola’s Summer Reading List: “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.May 30, 16:20
    • twathater on Marvola The Memory Woman: “YL, THAT deserves a round of applauseMay 30, 15:58
    • Dan on Friends Without Benefits: “From the text of the linked article… “It also bears repeating that this case concerned party funds, not public money,…May 30, 15:53
    • GM on Marvola The Memory Woman: “An self satisifed, elitish panel of ponces. Standard patter for that program. I want Sturgeon in front of a judge,…May 30, 15:32
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “D Have tried several times to give your post the benefit of the doubt and find it funny, but, sorry,…May 30, 15:24
    • Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Hi, Marie: replied along similar lines but I seem to have fallen foul of our host’s moderation rules. Will stand…May 30, 15:17
    • Onlooker on Friends Without Benefits: “From Wee Ginger Dug: “I’m certainly not going to defend Peter Murrell here. £400,000 is a lot of money to…May 30, 15:06
    • Onlooker on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Fuck these anti-Scottish English halfwits. And the BBC too.May 30, 14:52
    • Onlooker on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Pity this madness has allowed all these normally quiet anti-Scottish English middle class clowns to have their faw-faw at Sturgeon’s,…May 30, 14:48
    • Onlooker on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I like how she’s trying to appeal to the middle class ‘sisterhood’, slagging off men en masse as usual. She…May 30, 14:44
    • findlay on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Thanks for that. I assume a matrimonial home would mean it’s jointly owned. Murrell is frequently referred to as an…May 30, 14:32
    • 100%Yes on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Under pressure for sure!!! Who owns the House and who paid for the mortgage? Why is the MSM not really…May 30, 13:27
    • findlay on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Ex husband? I thought they were still married. Or have I missed the divorce?May 30, 12:46
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Marvola The Memory Woman: “See DAVID DAVIS’s Westminster Speech (video and transcript) on Wings Over Scotland: THE STORIES THAT ARE TRUE (Posted on March…May 30, 11:53
    • Geri on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Another lie no doubt. She claimed in a TV interview, at her pretendy home with Peter sitting there, that she…May 30, 11:13
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “It’s brilliant: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002wyvs/have-i-got-news-for-you-series-71-episode-9May 30, 11:12
    • agentx on Marvola The Memory Woman: “https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002wyvs/have-i-got-news-for-you-series-71-episode-9 Brilliant – watch the first 13 minutes 🙂May 30, 11:08
    • robertkknight on Marvola The Memory Woman: “…Not only that, but no action taken with regard to those who blatantly lied under oath and clearly attempted to…May 30, 10:50
    • paul on Marvola The Memory Woman: “The question that is vexing me, and no doubt the entire nation, is whether ladies underwear identified by the police…May 30, 10:39
    • Kenneth Coutts on The Final Robbery: “Jeez, is that narcissistic or what , me me me. They are all traitors , sell outs , hing oots.…May 30, 10:05
    • MaryB on Marvola The Memory Woman: “She tried describing Peter Murrell as a mysogenist this week. That’s a new angle for her to get the sympathy…May 30, 09:39
    • SilentMajority on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Maybe even her self-conceited attitude knew that to be anywhere near a book titled ‘We Know What You Did’ was…May 30, 09:00
    • Dan on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Aye, and let’s not forget other examples of the linked corruption. Just how could Alphabetty Miss H have stated so…May 30, 08:58
    • Spartan 117 on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Digging up an event from almost 600 years ago. Well that’s convinced me about Independence then. Talking about clutching at…May 30, 08:48
    • Willie on Marvola The Memory Woman: “The Crown Office is a criminal colonial operation. No one can have any faith in this arm of the state.…May 30, 08:09
    • Bilbo on Marvola The Memory Woman: “I know there has been a lot of rumours, innuendo and hearsay about Sturgeons and Murrells marriage by people, including…May 30, 08:07
    • Dave on Marvola The Memory Woman: “‘In Scotland strangulation often proceeded this ghastly death but not in merry ol’ England where they just loved a full…May 30, 06:59
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “Serious question for those who know these things; Appointment aside. Who actually employs, oversees and pays Breathy Bain and her…May 30, 04:37
    • Young Lochinvar on Marvola The Memory Woman: “And THAT Izzie is why your posts here have been so so very wrong. “Booked yer slot with the campervan”;…May 30, 04:30
    • twathater on Marvola The Memory Woman: “By fuck hatey McFuckwit you don’t half have a disturbed delusional mindset, your disturbed wee brain conjures up all sorts…May 30, 03:34
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