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An unsettling development

Posted on January 30, 2015 by

Since we’ve been talking about mad letters from Scottish Labour MPs today, we’re sharing this one with you too. We’ve been trying to make sense of it all evening.


We haven’t made any progress. It’s not just a simple accidental transposition of words, because if you switch “increased” and “decreased” around it’s still gibberish – why would the threat have decreased because of proliferation? If anyone can explain it, do drop us a line.

Do also send us any more bonkers election communications you get. Here’s one from the party’s alleged chief intellect, Wee Dougie Alexander.


At first we thought it was a font, but if you look closely at the lettering it seems to have really been written by hand, which makes the serial-killer underlining all the more disturbing. We’re starting to fear that the polling has driven them completely unhinged.

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    1. 30 01 15 21:43

      An unsettling development - Speymouth

    109 to “An unsettling development”

    1. turnip_ghost says:

      So, the funding from the mansion tax will be ONLY for the RAH?

    2. R-type Grunt says:

      Send a letter to Terry Kelly and the reply is likely a to be made out of letters cut from newspapers. These people are morons. All we need to do is wait for the MSM to expose them. Oh, wait…

    3. Lesley-Anne says:

      Funnily enough I was wondering what all that squeaking was that I keep hearing morning, noon and night. Initially I thought it was one of our doors being ever so slightly wafted by *ahem* forces unseen. Now I know it is not forces unseen that have been causing my concerns but the large red PANIC button in Labour party (Scottish sub branch – accounting unit) constantly being pressed! 😀

    4. KennethC says:

      The only explanation I have is that it is meant to say ‘Unfortunately’ rather than ‘Fortunately’- still bollocks, though

    5. donald anderson says:

      Panties on fire again.

    6. Donald MacKenzie says:

      Apropos Mr Darling’s wee note. Let’s assume ‘Fortunately’ was meant to be ‘Unfortunately’. If that is the case, then the argument seems to be that:-
      “Things is more dangerous folks because lots of other people have them, see we need them to. And the problem is that these other people are really, really nasty and won’t play fair and get rid of theirs. So we need to have ours. But that’s okay because we’re the nice guys and we wouldn’t do evil things like start wars illegally or anything like that and you can trust us to behave properly all the time. It’s those nasty others that you can’t trust. So we’ll keep our bombs 25 miles from a major conurbation and if those nasty people do come to blow us up, well it won’t be our fault. They’re just nasty.”

    7. IONA says:

      I was discussing this missive with my mother this evening (she lives in Paisley) The line where he states ‘my mother has worked in the NHS for decades’ brought this response from my mother “Is his mother not dead?”

      I know they like to use dead people as voters, but as canvassing material, surely this is beyond the pale even for wee Dougie?

    8. Schiehallion! Schiehallion! says:

      Unfortunately, the threat from nuclear weapons has increased rather than decreased not least because of the proliferation of nationalists.

      Fortunately, the threat from nuclear weapons has decreased rather than increased not because of the proliferation of these weapons or of the nationalists but because of my party.

      Fortunately or unfortunately, the threat from nuclear weapons has increased or decreased not least because of the proliferation of the Murph.


    9. west_lothian_questioner says:

      howsabout.. “Unfortunately, the threat from nuclear weapons has increased rather than decreased, etc. etc…” A simple (freudian) typo? Am I being too kind?

    10. A.N.Surgent says:

      Even in the event of a space monster attack, are we sure that nuclear weapons will work.

      Anyone that see`s the increase of a nuclear threat fortunate, is stark raving mad.

    11. Alexander MacDonald says:


      Reading your blog is damaging my health. Every post I read increases my blood pressure.

      How are they getting away with this tripe?

    12. jimnarlene says:

      Is that wee Dougie, son of the manse and sister back stabber, whose party gave back millions to Westminster because they didn’t have the brains to think of anything to spend it on?

    13. Swami Backverandah says:

      I think he meant to write “Unfortunately ….. etc’, but it’s still a load of effing bollocks. Does that help? 😀

    14. Hoss Mackintosh says:

      No wonder they are panicking.

      Some great candidates are now getting selected for the SNP.

      Michelle Thomson (biz for scotland) has just been announced for Edinburgh West.

      If they are panicking now just wait until all the SNP candidates are announced and the SNP juggernaut clicks into second gear.

      Then we will see real PANIC.

    15. IainC says:

      My biggest worry is that Darling Alistair’s letter says exactly what he means. A Freudian slip, perhaps?

    16. west_lothian_questioner says:

      The Dougie A. one looks bizarre. Without reading the words, just looking at it, it looks like the work of an angry person. Stuart’s bang on, the underlining is more than a wee bit creepy. Wee Dougie’s well wound up…

    17. Thepnr says:

      At least it is not in green or red ink.

    18. west_lothian_questioner says:

      or wax crayon…

    19. Archie [not Erchie] says:

      Oh Dastardly Darling really needs to brush up on his grammar, punctuation and spelling.

      ‘…the Labour Party, along with others will publish ITS proposals….blah blah

      ‘…but so TOO is the political environment…..blah blah.’

      CLEARLY & CLEARLY again.

      Nice one for a Friday frolick Rev.

    20. Martin says:

      I’ll be kind and give Darling the benefit of the doubt, he probably meant unfortunately. Typos happen, move along. Douglas Alexander though….all kinds of crazy. I’m probably more in tune with front line nhs than him, or his maw. The problem isn’t the SNP…it’s that Australia pinches our doctors with the promise of faster training, better training (ie not just service provision) and better weather. Also, we don’t have enough beds for the demand partly due to chronic (30+ years) underfunding of social services. Ironically this has only started to improve (and it will take years) under…the SNP.

    21. fred blogger says:

      Alexander MacDonald
      they’ve written this tripe for years.
      we’re wise to it now and can do something about it.
      we have power.

    22. Devorgilla says:

      I’d hazard a guess and suggest the words are transposed, and that what he refers to is ‘MAD’ (mutually assured destruction) meaning the cold war doctrine that nuclear weapons actually have a deterrent effect and force a more responsible attitude on those who have them, since if they used them it would hurt them more thsn if they didn’t.

    23. Varrington says:

      Haud the bus, Scottish Labour have a freepost address?

    24. Andrew Haddow says:

      You’ve obviously no blinking idea how blinking difficult it is to type and blink at the same blinking time. Blink.

    25. Celyn says:

      People who have difficulty coping with pen and paper, (or a keyboard), shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions on nuclear weapons on our behalf. The crazy underling is a bit worrying, and as for Darling and his “Fortunately …”, words fail.

    26. M4rkyboy says:

      Na,ynfortunately’s a typo,so’s jmfortunately,imfortunately and hmfortunately.

    27. handclapping says:

      D Alexander is either a liar or massively incompetent.

      If he cannot appreciate that the Scottish Government’s budgets and financial affairs are different from Westminster even though he was one of those that imposed them after 1997 and cannot be arsed to find out what the status of the £440m is when he is dealing with a Chamber not his own then he is massively incompetent.

      If however he does know what the status of the £440m is then his letter is a lie ( A lie is an intentionally false statement to a … group made by another person … who knows it is not wholly the truth.).

    28. Colin Mccartney says:

      Why did you cut off the bottom of the letter where it said
      “Or I will kidnap your cat/dog/budgie” ?
      heavily underlined of course

      These people have never been put under so much pressure before, a lot have never had a proper job, had to justify what they do, how they do it and what they achieve, as most of us have to do in our daily jobs.
      We joked about Darlings state of mind during the Indyref but we may well see some of the current bunch of Branch office employees losing it completely during the next few months.

    29. A.N.Surgent says:

      O/T Heres a poll of MSP`s on what powers should be devolved. Its down the page a bit.

    30. Diane says:

      Once, many years ago, I missed a step and fell on top of Alistair Darling in the Jacuzzi at the swimming pool in the gym at Fountain Park in Edinburgh. I think this explains it!

    31. Ghengis D'Midgies says:

      On the matter of the £440 Million underspend

      John Swinney ?@JohnSwinney tweets:
      Some facts on @scotgov underspend. It’s £145m and is being spent this year. Opposition guilty of economic illiteracy.

    32. Bob Sinclair says:

      That ‘Wee Dougie’ letter is quite clearly a forgery, I’m surprised anyone was taken in by it.
      It’s pretty obvious really, it’s not written in crayon and the letters are joined up.

    33. Jimbo says:

      What is the enclosed card he wants returned?

    34. Graeme says:

      Wee Doogie’s letter isn’t hand written I’m afraid but was printed in Northumberland!

    35. Murray McCallum says:

      Imagine the modern nuclear weaponry we would have had if MPs expenses hadn’t diverted taxes to cleaning Medieval moats?

      As someone not from Renfrewshire I believe we all deserve better than Douglas Alexander.

    36. ronnie anderson says:

      @ Archie [ not Erchie] Ah kin dey Wee Dougies secretary the Murph said he wanted 25 Yessers ,An Paula Rose did did say ah hud good punchiation an ma speelings getting better,an Cameron Bs always on standby If I run oota commas,an ah shine amoungst gamma rays.

    37. Cheese says:

      Thought some off your readers would be dismayed to see the right wing web sites still operating such as For Argyll. The editor from Ulster and Labour supporter is becoming more frantic and more insulting as time goes on. Some may say this is a good sign but not once has Labour or its local electoral candidate distanced themselves from such venom

    38. heedtracker says:

      Alexander’s just one more Slab creep in action but its not a typo from Darling. These guys all know the power of perpetual UKOK war that can be used on your own electorate and that’s why we are always at war. Look at Project Fear 2 and BBC trying to terrorise teamGB over a couple of Russian planes over the channel today. Look at how thugs like Ian Davidson told his own constituents vote YES, and Trident goes with 19,000 jobs. We must be the only electorate outside the US whose government uses its WMD’s on the suckers voters that pay for it. Fear is easy, War is good, if you’re a bunch of desperate troughing non entities.

    39. There’s a shortage of beds! Quick, hire more nurses!

    40. Wuffing Dug says:

      Slab have their finger firmly on the shitegeist 🙂

    41. abystander says:

      Darling meant to write “unfortunately”, I guess.


      Does Alexander not know that the NHS is under no threat at all

      At least he seemed to know this in the year up to September last.

    42. SquareHaggis says:

      Who’s wee Duggie sending these letters to, pensioners?
      The really auld yins in the dimentia wards?
      It’s like something yer grannie writes on your note for the school or the shop.
      Fags, milk, a paper and DONT FERGET THE EFFIN CHANGE!

    43. chitterinlicht says:

      What utter drivel. Both letters.

      I can actually hear lwee Dougies voice.

      The underlining is serioulsy worrying. Does he think the reader is stupid? Or, is just so super pleased with himself for putting words in a sentence?

    44. Roger Hyam says:

      I don’t think there has been a proliferation of nuclear weapons recently. North Korea tested one nearly a decade ago. I think that was the first new nuclear nation this century.

      Pakistan did a test in 1998 but that was built on technology foundations the UK had been supplied them with in the 1970s!

      There has been a massive effort to decommission many of the cold war warheads from the soviet union and use them for civilian power plants.

      Project fear again. Ho Hum.

      BTW: Deterrent comes from the word Terror meaning to frighten people away. So nuclear weapons are, by definition, terror weapons. As we all pay taxes towards Trident we are all contributing financial support for terrorism and therefore guilty under the prevention of terrorism acts and should be locked up.

    45. Ian Brotherhood says:

      Don’t we have a ‘handwritingologist’ among the regulars?

    46. Blind Squirrel says:

      I wish there was a “like” function on Wings or “lol” as I’d have done that at 9:50 pm.
      Then I think at 9.55pm holy crap some of these jokers have been in charge of nuclear weapons whilst using expenses to pay for boozy lunches. A drunken joiner might get a black finger nail after a boozy lunch. What does a Labour lackie get?

    47. Lollysmum says:

      D Alexander is being disingenuous & knows full well that Labour Accounting Unit Scotland screwed up the figures. Asked Scotgov civil servants for the figures on underspend & ‘misunderstood’ them. Capital spending already committed was included in £400 million but should have been separated out from revenue figure as you can’t spend it twice. Was dealt with at FMQ’s several weeks ago. SLAB asleep in chamber again!

    48. HandandShrimp says:

      No lie will be unused in the desperate bid to save their seats. Bit sad really but hardly surprising. They are fighting for their very existence.

    49. Dr Ew says:

      I doubt very much Darling typed this himself. More likely it was dictated onto some recorder and left for an intern or underling to process.

      So did hapless typist mishear? Was “Fortunately” a Freudian slip? OR did Darling actually say: “UNfortunately the threat… (mumbles… from effin’ blood and soil nationalists…) has increased rather than decreased due to the proliferation of these weapons.”

      Given his form on recordings, this would make perfect sense of the dictation.

      Hope that’s cleared that up. Happy to help, Stu!

    50. Rock says:

      Does anyone still seriously believe that the SNP can do any post election deal with these lying b——s?

    51. Ian Brotherhood says:

      Mr Darling’s about to find out that his baws were always an awful lot nearer the mangle than he could ever have imagined.

      Otherwise, why did he even bother coming out with shite like this?:

    52. Wuffing Dug says:

      The more digging you do, nothing changes; Declaratory Act of 1719, the former of which gave the English veto power over Irish legislation, and the latter of which gave the British the right to legislate for the kingdom

    53. Thepnr says:

      O/T Does anyone know if it is correct that Ivan McKee failed to win a nomination for an SNP constituency?

      Marcia or Andrew?

    54. Archie [not Erchie] says:

      @ Ronnie – Wurds fail me. Wiz it yoo that writ those undelible letters? I thought you were under lock and key in Paula’s training centre for wayward waifs and waistrels. 🙂

    55. Donald mac says:

      He probably meant ‘fortunately’ because that justifies the trident programme in the establishment bubble. He must have forgot he was writing to a normal person instead of a lab MP!

    56. caz-m says:

      Wee Dougie is my MP with an 18,000 majority. The SNP candidate to challenge him will be announced on 5th Feb. Hopefully Mhairi Black.

      So with the help of hundreds of other SNP activists, I will be doing everything I can to unseat this lying wee toad. Like Brown, Alexander likes to frighten rather than persuade, especially the elderly.

      The constituency polls are due out next week, they will make very interesting reading. Even if Alexander is still ahead, I am convinced that we will overcome his majority.

    57. @Cheese

      As I wouldn’t want their cookies in my biscuit tin I have archived the link to that drivel.

    58. Tackety Beets says:

      @ sideshowmanny @ 10.08

      Good point .

    59. Bill Hume says:

      Ringpieces are begining to twitch, methinks.

    60. caz-m says:

      Douglas Alexander is always reminding us his mother has worked at the RAH Hospital in Paisley for years.

      His sister Wendy knows all about that Hospital as well. That’s the one they rushed her into to get a knife removed from her back.

      Wee evil Dougie stuck it their while Wendy was campaigning to become leader of the Labour Party in Scotland.

    61. Clootie says:

      My understanding of the “underspend” is that the bulk of the money quoted is funds allocated for budget spend in Scotland in areas controlled by Westminster. The 145 million pounds under the control of John Swinney has already been allocated.

      This type of spin on Westminster controlled budget underspend to imply reserves held back by the SNP is disgraceful and another example of the reason that these lying b@@@@@’s should never be trusted again.

      These lies are the New Labour foundation – The Party First
      Lie to justify Iraq
      Lie to justify PFI

      That is why Labour were chosen to lead the Better Together campaign. Nobody lies better!

    62. jimnarlene says:

      @Wuffing Dug,
      “shitegeist”, now my favourite word.

    63. ClanDonald says:

      Dinnae be daft, Darling doesnae do his own typing, he just dictates to someone who does his typing for him. Luckily for us it looks like they’re on our side 🙂

    64. Cadogan Enright says:

      I noticed that the first of these campaigns does not seem to have paypal as a payment option – paypal worked well for me in my elections – does anyone know how to add on paypal to these sorts of appeals? – and tell these guys how to do it? I’d like to send them £50

      The second one does have paypal – so it must be possible . .

    65. Joemcg says:

      This Alexander muppet has an 18,000 majority?? We scots must be thickos.

    66. donnywho says:

      This mansion tax and the 1,000 nurses. The labour party stated that it would create 34,000 nurses, gps and consultants. So we are being offered 2.6% of the total. Westminsters generosity is as always magnanimous, don’t get murphyed. Ps my figures may be a bit wonky it’s late and I am recalling a calc from weeks ago. But the figures are about right.

    67. Kalmar says:

      I know graphology is probably a load of rubbish but bloody hell, look at the state of that handwriting.

    68. Tackety Beets says:

      Ref JS / Scot Gvt alleged underspend .

      Do we all rush out on payday and spend every penny of our wages or do we spread it over the month , and if poss keep a bit back for emergency ?

      Can you imagine the outrage if we had a calamity in Dec ’14 and SNP had nowt in reserve to fall back on to help oot !

    69. Cadogan Enright says:

      regarding Wee Dougie Alexander’s scrawl – any body know how it was delivered?

      was it on westminster postage? If so he must deduct it from his election’s allowable expenditure

    70. Rob James says:

      The great thing about having a nuclear deterrent is the knowledge that should someone fire a missile in your direction, you can comfort yourself whilst putting your head between your knees and kissing your ass goodbye,that they will be incinerated five minutes after you.

    71. Grizzle McPuss says:

      Now that we are having the power to make road signs devolved, and given the quality of the recent dribbling output from Labour (Scottish Branch) perhaps the following is a worthy guide for placing outside Slab constituency offices?

    72. Paula Rose says:

      I’m the chief whip by a unanimous vote!!

    73. Democracy Reborn says:

      I particularly like wee Dougie’s “Dear Neighbour” intro. Was the letter only delivered to the neighbours in his estate? It looks like the rantings of a resident fruitcake objecting to a proposed bypass.

      Re Captain Darling’s missive, South Africa unilaterally got rid of all its nuclear weapons in 1989. I’ll bet the citizens of the Rainbow nation are clamouring for their return in this dangerous and unstable world…

    74. Dr Jim says:

      John Nicholson won the East Dumbartonshire candidacy, if you saw Nicola Sturgeons wee rock tour he was the chap who did the introductions and most of the commentary throughout, he’s a thoroughly nice bloke, witty and a good communicator and i’m looking forward to my wee role in helping out, starting tomorrow with the leafleting in my area, i should have mentioned he was also involved with AS during the referendum
      Our sitting MP is Jo “where’s the camera” Swinson so policy debates won’t be a problem as she’s another Dippity “get a lawyer
      google it” polititico

    75. Thepnr says:

      O/T Ivan McKee fails to make it as a candidate it both the constituencies he was asked to put his name forward in.

      Unbelievable, the SNP must have some super powerful people in reserve.

    76. Jimbo says:

      @ Heedtracker – 10.03 pm

      “These guys all know the power of perpetual UKOK war that can be used on your own electorate and that’s why we are always at war.”

      Aye. It makes me wonder how many Westminster politicians have shares in arms companies.

    77. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @Dr Jim –

      This may be pure synchronicity, but I have a clear memory of John Nicholson working as an ITN anchor back in the days (er, a decade ago?) when they had a 24-hr station available via Freeview.

      The reason I remember it is two-fold:

      Firstly, I remember Nicholson from the West-Scotland high-school debating team circuit when I was an underling for another school. He was a star even then, and mopped-up every award going. That’s why I took particular interest in seeing him on ‘the telly’.

      Secondly, he was the interviewer when Rose Gentle revealed what Adam Ingram had said to her, as reported earlier in this thread (or the one previous), that is, ‘Oh, there’s Saddam’s little helper’.

      For some reason, ITN didn’t keep that station going. (I suppose SKY News supplanted it?) Perhaps my memory of it is wrong, but John Nicholson was certainly a prominent face on that channel when I had access to it.

      I never would’ve had him down as an indy-supporter, but am delighted to see that he is, and wish him, and all his team, well.

      And that, I surmise, includes your good self!


    78. Stephen Armstrong says:

      Douglas Alexander…otherwise known as the Chief Worm!

    79. kininvie says:


      I too am severely disappointed about Ivan’s non selection. He is one of the good guys IMO, being an all-round up-front person, who worked harder for Yes than almost anyone…

      However, we’re into party politics here, and it’s not easy for newcomers to be selected, and maybe Ivan didn’t think carefully enough about which constituencies to put himself forward for. He was up aginst some pretty strong opposition.

      Lessons learnt and all that. I’d rather see Ivan in Holyrood anyway – and there’s still a few Labour MSPs left for him to get stuck into.

    80. Wp says:

      Can’t find the link but did labour, on Alexander’s watch not send back £1.5 billion to Westminster that they couldn’t find a use for ?

    81. KennyG says:

      A vote for the SNP is a vote for the Taliban lol.

    82. Cuilean says:

      But they said if we voted NO to independence that the NHS was secure forever in this beloved nirvana called the UK….. Wait, you mean they lied….?

    83. Doug Daniel says:

      I see Wendy’s brother there moaning about the SNP “government in Edinburgh”. Now, when the SNP moan about Westminster, it’s because we’re opposed to Scotland being governed from London – which makes sense.

      So does that mean Wendy’s brother is opposed to there being a government in Edinburgh…?

    84. Dr Jim says:

      @Ian Brotherhood
      Yep, same bloke.
      John was my first choice candidate and Ivan was my second, i don’t know the amounts of votes between candidates obviously but we had seven to choose from of which i thought most were OK to very good, there were no bad ones, i think selection may have depended on who was to be selected first as both John and Ivan were standing in one other constituency but East Dunbarton was declaring first so i half expected Ivan would turn up as a candidate elsewhere anyway but alas for him this time no, but i doubt this is the last we’ll see of him i’m sure

    85. ronnie anderson says:

      @ Paula Rose Congratulations on your elivation hears a wee tune for you,

      2nd try


    86. Tattie-bogle says:

      It is starting to look like the first question asked if you want to be a Labour candidate is “Did your Mum drop you on your head when you were a baby”

    87. Nobby Power says:

      Darling’s proliferation goes directly against Anne McKechin’s statement on her blog the other day. She correctly points out that there are less warheads in the world, and if I’m right, held by the same five nations as before.

      Proliferation my rear end. Fortunately or otherwise.

    88. Albalha says:


      Re I McKee and J Nicolson, Ivan only stood in two,Glasgow N and East Dun, though was asked to stand in others, but John N had his name on the selection list in at least 4, perhaps more, of course he won East Dun.

    89. McBoxheid says:

      Fortunately the threat of Scottish Labour representation for Scotland after the May election has just decreased further.
      Why would anyone be glad about an increase in proliferation of WMDs?
      Come on, if you send out letters to woo potential voters, then you proof read them.
      Lost the plot? Definitely.
      Maybe the Mental Health budget needs to be ajusted to include 40 odd Scottish Labour MPs, who are clearly unraveling more and more each day. Maybe thats why Dim Jim want 1000 new nurses for Scotland. He failed to mention that they are going to be mental health nurses. But logically,(I know, logic is an SNP-bad trait)without his slabbers how is he possibily going to be FM?

    90. steveasaneilean says:

      Let me try to sum up these two letters.
      Darling says nuclear weapons ate really dangerous that’s why we need more of them.
      Alexander makes a commitment to deliver something which is actually a devolved issue and therefore cannot be done without approval of the Scottish Government (in which case why not cut out the middle man and vote for the party of Scottish Government? ).
      Yup, all makes sense to me now.

    91. john king says:

      Alex says
      “At least it is not in green or red ink”

      west_lothian_questioner says
      Or wax crayon…….

      What about letters cut out of magazines?
      sweet dreams. 😉
      Andrew Haddow says
      “You’ve obviously no blinking idea how blinking difficult it is to type and blink at the same blinking time. Blink.”

      No your right Andrew we don’t,
      your blinking well right (presenter says while stamping foot and sporting a rather coquettish smile)
      now who can we ask?
      lets look through the square window children,
      Oh look there’s Captain Darling maybe he’ll know,
      yes he knows EVERYTHING,he once read a six hundred and forty eight page book in 5 minutes AND delivered an expert critique to camera thirtytwo minutes after its release he’ll know how hard it is to do, —well what Andrew said without blinking
      Bob Sinclair says
      “That ‘Wee Dougie’ letter is quite clearly a forgery, I’m surprised anyone was taken in by it.
      It’s pretty obvious really, it’s not written in crayon and the letters are joined up.”

      What about letters cut out of magazines?
      sweet dreams. 😉

      Wow man DEJA VU!

      Colin Mccartney says
      “Why did you cut off the bottom of the letter where it said
      “Or I will kidnap your cat/dog/budgie” ?
      heavily underlined of course”
      What about letters cut out of magazines?
      sweet dreams. 😉


      Murray McCallum says
      “Imagine the modern nuclear weaponry we would have had if MPs expenses hadn’t diverted taxes to cleaning Medieval moats?”

      Surely that would be a case for setting up a free moat cleaning service in the entrance to the commons?

      Free moat cleaning for all MP’S. If you don’t have a moat we;’ll build one for you and we’ll keep it sparking clean so the plebs can see the Alligators in it we’ll also provide free of charge, don’t worry about feeding them we’ve thought about that as well. while we set up an area for the plebs to see the Alligators there be an “unfortunately” {see what I did there?} a rather slippery slope from where said pleb falls into moat feeds alligator, one less annoying pleb to worry about at the next election!
      you dont want to feed the plebs who voted for you to the alligators? you must be some kind of saint man!
      But! we’ve already thought of that as well, so what we (my idea as it happens ) have cunningly done is put sneaky adverts in places like The National Newspaper, Wings over Scotland (whaddaya mean they dont do adverts on Wings? they haven’t heard what we’re offering yet, Rev stu’ll be able to change his Bugatti every time he fills the ashtray with his $100.00 dollar Cuban cigars)
      we’ll tell the seps that we’re offering a free viewing of the troughing bastards excesses, but when they pile off the bus we’ll charge them a tenner each, sweet huh

      See we have thought of everything, + you get less tax payers
      (cos you’ve fed them to the Alligators) which means less tax returns which in turn means we cant afford Trident,
      WIN WIN
      Cumon sign up today and we’ll even throw in a free duck house refurbishment service now you can (woops typo) say fairer than that can you?
      Still not buying?
      Jeeze man your a hard negotiator , you must be a real tiger on the front benches or something,
      Whats that?
      your a back bencher and you not allowed an opinion?
      OK well here’s my final offer, we’ll build a set of stables AND provide the finest Arabian Stallions to occupy them AND we’ll put heating in AND pay for the heating feeding and veterinary costs costs in perpetuity whadaja say partner?
      You’ll sign?
      now here’s the terms,
      you pay nothing today, and each month on perpetuity you’ll pay nothing each month, well for the rest of your life,

      And if your feeling flush you could even put up a wee memorial to the poor plebs who sacrificed their lives in the pursuit of world nuclear disarmament when they slipped into you moat and got themselves eaten by your alligators,
      whats not to like eh? 🙂

      whats with the booing?
      sheesh Nicolae Ceau?escu had an easier ride!

    92. john king says:

      Kalmar says
      “I know graphology is probably a load of rubbish but bloody hell, look at the state of that handwriting”

      Last time I saw handwriting like that it was my 6 y/o granddaughter putting a letter to Santa up the lum!
      Paula Rose says
      “I’m the chief whip by a unanimous vote!!”

      I’m thinking Im thinking,
      nope I got nuthin. 🙁
      Thepnr says
      “Unbelievable, the SNP must have some super powerful people in reserve.”

      Put it this way,

    93. Sheena M says:

      Darling meant Fortunately. There are fortunes to be made in nuclear weapons, making them, dealing with the toxic waste they leave behind and providing PR to let everyone know ‘how essential’ they are.

    94. Robert Peffers says:

      @handclapping says:30 January, 2015 at 9:31 pm:

      “D Alexander is either a liar or massively incompetent.”

      Noo jist haud oan there a wee minute, handclapping.

      Whit div ye mean bi, “either a liar or massively incompetent”?

      It sticks oot, like a brush hingin oot a wee windae, the numptie’s baith massively a liar and massively incompetent.

    95. Sheena M says:

      Here’s an idea for election posters which the positve campaign of SNP will not embrace.

      Photo of David Cameron or Jim Murphy or Danny Alexander, etc with the comment above…
      “I’m willing to kill 45 million people at the press of a button. Are you?” Vote Conservative/Labour/Lib Dem.
      You could add in brackets (if US agrees to let us use Trident)

      Anyone want to do a mock up? Or is truthful satire against the law these days?

    96. Robert Peffers says:

      @Lollysmum says:30 January, 2015 at 10:34 pm:

      ” SLAB asleep in chamber again!>
      You might have something there, Lollysmum.

      While the others sit and debate in the chamber SLAB members sit ON on the chamber and their party has thus gone to pot.

    97. Iron Man says:

      Unfortunately, there are still some who are prepared to believe these clowns. Kinda sad really.

    98. Robert Peffers says:

      @Lesley-Anne says:30 January, 2015 at 8:39 pm:

      “Funnily enough I was wondering what all that squeaking was that I keep hearing morning, noon and night.”

      Och! Lesley-Anne, everyone knows what that interminable squeaking is. It is what Sir Alex, (Hairdryer), Ferguson calls, “Squeaky Bum Time”, for certain members of the political community.

    99. Robert Peffers says:

      @Ian Brotherhood says: 30 January, 2015 at 10:32 pm:

      “Don’t we have a ‘handwritingologist’ among the regulars?”

      Don’t believe we have, Ian. In fact we may not even have any regulars among the, ‘handwritingologists’, but I’ve got a photo o’ the FM an a short bit o hairy string, if that helps?

    100. Robert Peffers says:

      @Joemcg says: 30 January, 2015 at 11:25 pm:

      “This Alexander muppet has an 18,000 majority?? We scots must be thickos.”

      A wee typo there Joemcg?

      “This Alexander muppet has an 18,000 majority. those scots must be thickos.”

      There – sorted.

    101. Robert Peffers says:

      @Kalmar says: 30 January, 2015 at 11:38 pm:

      “I know graphology is probably a load of rubbish but bloody hell, look at the state of that handwriting.

      Och! Kalmar, you haven’t seen my handwriting yet, but I’ve got arthritis due to crushed hands. What’s Wee Dougie’s excuse?

    102. Gary says:

      OK, I’ll bite. Flipper meant to say UNfortunately and Wee Dougie was using something called ‘Autowriter’. Either that or Darling is more of a psycho and prepared to admit it and Wee Dougie has a very muscular wrist (actually, he might). But that aside, hasn’t there already BEEN a review on nukes?

    103. Lollysmum says:

      Considering that wee Dougie Alexander is supposed to be the strategic brain & the person leading the election campaign for UK Labour, I find his attempt to rouse local ire with that letter to be at best, amateurish & downright laughable.

      If I recieved a letter like that from a neighbour, I’d be doing my utmost to avoid him.

      If that is a practical example of his strategic genius then we have nothing to fear.

      Dougie-yer tea’s oot 😉

    104. schrodingers cat says:

      does anyone know anything about this 38degrees group?
      i seem to remember unsubscribing to them after they allowed gordon brown to high jack one of the petitions.

    105. X_Sticks says:


      Live Independence is broadcasting live video from Clan Alba Rally for Scottish Independence ON NOW

    106. Brawday says:

      It’s simple, he’s left the UN out of it – a labour tendency when it comes to war decisions.

      Try reading it as ‘UNfortunately the threat etc…’

    107. Brian Fleming says:

      I think daft Alasdair probably meant UNfortunately.

    108. Brian Fleming says:

      Ach, Brawday beat me to it.

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