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Wings Over Scotland

In case you missed it

Posted on February 23, 2015 by

This (from Sunday) is priceless.


You can click the image to read the whole thing for yourself. But the formatting is a bit of a faff, so we’ve printed the list for you below. We’re not making any of it up.

1. It’s surrounded by water.

2. There’s scenery.

3. It’s got a Parliament.

4. Rabbie Burns.

5. Invented toilets and hypnotism.

6. Brussels sprouts. No, honestly. Brussels sprouts.


7. Whisky.

8. Earth’s magnetic field.

9. Universities.

10. Golf. (No other countries have universities or golf.)

11. People have to leave the country to get a job.

12. Teenage brides.

13. Macaroni pies and haggis. And chips.

14. A small mountain you can walk up.

NOW do you feel loved, Scotland? God, what do you WANT?

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  1. 23 02 15 15:27

    In case you missed it | Politics Scotland | Sc...

  2. 23 02 15 16:41

    In case you missed it - Speymouth

238 to “In case you missed it”

  1. Flooplepoop says:

    Surrounded by water?

  2. Flooplepoop says:

    Ah.. ignore last message.
    But i do feel the love,it tastes a bit like bile.

  3. Auld Rock says:

    WWWHHHHHHOOOOOOOWWWWW. You know I never, ever knew this – ain’t it just wonderful. What asshole dreamt that lot up I ask you?

    Auld Rock

  4. jackie g says:

    Saw this yesterday what a hoot.

    Macaroni pies.

    And we grow more Brussell sprouts than anywhere else! would love to find out who wrote this guff..

  5. jimnarlene says:

    Nice to see we are good Europeans, and have adopted the metric system.
    I genuinely thought this was a piss take.

  6. No no no...Yes says:

    There is only one reason Cameron loves Scotland, and no, it’s not David Mundell, or even Ruth Davidson, it’s because we have untold riches to subsidise their broken state.

  7. jackie g says:

    There are lots of reasons why i love Scotland, and guess what it is none of the above.

    Although i do like a wee brussel sprout.

  8. Neil Mackenzie says:

    I’ve never seen the Northern Lights and I used to live in Inverness.

    … and wot about tatties!

  9. Dinnatouch says:

    Why 14? Why not 10, or a dozen, or 15? Why 14??

  10. Cath says:

    14 is a very odd number. Who thought, “we only have 13 we’d better add something. Oh, I know, brussel sprouts” rather than saying, “13 is unlucky, lets junk macaroni pies”?

  11. kalmar says:

    Pitlochry reservoir? Who the hell calls it that? It’s Loch Faskally.

  12. Cath says:

    Anyway, I had to go to Iceland to see the Northern lights!

  13. heedtracker says:

    ” Now, with wide-ranging tax and welfare powers on the way, the Scottish Parliament will become one of the world’s most powerful devolved parliaments.”

    It’s just suckering enough sweaties into swallowing this kind of THE VOW Delivered con by 7th May as in, proposed new power Holyrood could gain over fixed odds betting terminals, Smith Commission looks at the new power the Scottish Parliament could have over the Work Programme

  14. RMAC says:

    “11. People have to leave the country to get a job.”

    He’s got some brass neck, whose fault is it that Scots have to leave their country to get a job, as the UKOK prime minister he should hang his head in shame not blatantly post his his inadequacy at his job. He’s obviously not bright enough to have worked out that this isn’t exactly a benefit from he and his predecessors stewardship.

  15. Grizzle McPuss says:

    How come the list missed out on our greatest achievement…

    The great Fried Mars Bar?

    I feel cheated. It took a lot of work to become an over-weight, work-shy, sponging, foul-mouthed, drunken, bigot…and they don’t even mention my favourite snack, my country’s greatest contribution to humanity!!

    Well hoots och aye the noo.

  16. Lesley-Anne says:


    I knew there was a reason why I voted NO in September I just can’t remember why. I think you have just supplied the reason(s) for me Stu as to why I voted NO. Thank you ever so much! 😀

    Now if only someone would be so kind as to come up with a solution to the seriously perplexing question of who I should vote in May. 😉

    On an ouside the box thinking thingy moment here but as THEY love Scotland, apparently, then I suspect that the rest of the world is purely overjoyed at this news. I mean can you imagine if THEY did NOT love us what would happen … well for one thing there would obviously be no number 8 on the list (Earth’s magnetic field), then what would they do about all those *ahem* floating voters? 😛

  17. kalmar says:

    Nial: you aren’t looking hard enough then! The northern lights could be seen (very faintly) from here in Fife just last night. Would have been much better from Inverness or further north.

  18. Ali says:

    Went to the page it is so patronising. Are WM trolling the Scottish nation? Whatever it makes my skin crawl.

  19. Brian says:

    “Flushing Toilets and Hypnotism”!!!
    Not forgetting less important things like PENICILLIN, TELEVISION and the TELEPHONE.
    Who wrote this stuff? Are they out of primary school yet?

  20. Luigi says:

    Eton toff translation:

    1) It’s waters sit over vast oil reserves, which we plunder to keep the UK afloat.

    2) It’s our fantastic playground, for the rich and famous.

    3) It pretends to be a real country (what more could you ask for?).

    4) It’s national bard is long deceased, so he cannot comment (thankfully).

    5) It’s full of clever people.

    6) It’s a rural backwater – fit for sheep and sprout production.

    7) It’s whisky revnues help to keep the UK afloat.

    8) It doesn’t even need street lights (so blessed).

    9) It’s a great place to study, get an excellent qualification (then bugger off).

    10)It’s a great playground (part 2)

    11) It’s brains are easily drained away.

    12) It’s border is alwasy open (Shhhhh!)

    13) It has disgusting, unhealthy food.

    14) It’s a great playground (part 3)

  21. Jean-Loup says:

    Brussels, that famous Scottish city…

    Scotland, the only country that has a magnetic field, everywhere else, especially Westminster is all up in the air…

    And Hypnotism … I mean TV (same thing really)

    Come to study at Eton, 17k a year for a degree, you won’t have to do any work except maybe some rowing and you get to run the country. Bargain!

  22. skozra says:

    They missed out Munchy Boxes -.-

  23. JLT says:

    This has gone beyond the usual patronising drivel from the Scottish Office. I can understand Travel Guide or Thomas Cook doing something like this …but the Scottish Office!!!

    Seriously …what are they trying to achieve here? Who is their market? Who are they trying to convince?

    If it’s business …then why the **** would Big Business give a monkeys about sprouts, Gretna, Ben Nevis or the Northern Lights? Surely the Scottish Office would promote Oil and Gas figures as well as what each city can provide as well as the networking links!

    Absolutely ****ing bizarre!

  24. Training Day says:

    Self-determination is a step too far, but we can nonetheless represent ourselves proudly on the international stage by winning farting contests with the help of our brussels sprouts.

  25. Mealer says:

    What a lot of patronising guff.

  26. Dr Ew says:

    I think someone at the Scottish Office might be on our side – they cannot be this ignorant. Surely?

  27. Dr Ew says:


  28. Matt Seattle says:

    It’s Scotland’s Higgs Boson it’s not yours and you can’t share it.

  29. Macart says:


    He’s gone Tonto. 😀

  30. Craig P says:

    “there are many reasons to love Scotland. Let’s list them all:”
    Oil revenues.
    Cannon fodder.
    Dump for WMD.
    Possession of her feeds the imperial ego.

  31. Lesley-Anne says:

    Whatever happened to number 15 on the list … did they forget to put it in. I know it was there cause I’m sure I saw the draft copy before it went to print.

    15) We need somewhere to park up our ultra safe never to be used White Elephants otherwise known as Trident missiles and the very nice people of Glasgow said come up here and park them 30 miles North of us we’ll look after them for you! 😀

  32. Clootie says:

    When you are being loved like this – check your wallet!

  33. fletch49er says:

    I love the way you can only express your ‘enjoyment’ of this blog, where’s the ‘I think this is patronizing shite’ button

  34. jakedm says:

    skozra says:
    23 February, 2015 at 3:46 pm
    They missed out Munchy Boxes -.-

    Brilliant 🙂

  35. Thorkel Cretin says:

    More “comedy” from the Brit colonialists.

  36. paul gerard mccormack says:

    whaaaaaattttttt ttttttthhhhhhhheeeeee fffffuuuucccckkkkkkkkk???????WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. Fixitfox says:

    Brussels sprouts are divisive eh? Whit like Independence? Yes or No?

  38. The Man in the Jar says:

    “Scotland, a marvelous place to go and shoot the wildlife but I wouldn’t want to actually live there!” 😉

  39. heedtracker says:

    Howsabout reciprocating with There are many ways to love England, here’s 13

    1. They grow brussels sprouts
    2. The eat a lot of pies
    3. Some bits are lovely
    4. The highest mountain in England is Ben Nevis
    5. England won the World cup and never you forget it
    6. England invented everything and every sport, from hockey to wiff waff
    7. Everyone loves England
    8. England is not racist, just ask Parisians.
    9. BBC is the greatest public broadcaster in the world. Its not its shite, which is why they force us to buy their awful grot on penalty of imprisonment
    10. God is English
    11. Andy Murray was English but something happened last Sept
    12. Westminster Palace is the mother or all parliaments and produces a lot of fabulously greedy if gullible crooks and con artists
    13. England owns Scotland and don’t you forget that either sweaties.

  40. peekay says:

    Anyone else got the sneaky suspicion the S.O. has been busy on Google? The first couple are no brainers, then it all gets a bit ‘stuff we’ve just learned/remembered about Scotland on t’internet’

  41. Mosstrooper says:

    Ach bless their wee tartan socks. Gie them a chance. They’re trying,….. really, really trying.

  42. Luigi says:

    September 19th 2014.

    That’s when I woke up and realised that my country was full of Brussels sprouts.

  43. Joemcg says:

    …it helps to pay for our infrastructure and vanity projects worth hundreds of billions, now get back in yer box.

  44. Bugger (the Panda) says:


    I thought that was Anton Mesmer?

    But of course it is a spoof, though UKIPers probably would be deceived.

  45. One_Scot says:

    Is the UK the most politically F’ked up country in the world or what.

  46. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    Nobody else clicked on the link in the original No 10 tweet?

  47. MekQuarrie says:

    It’s not a terrible list. It’s just when the Tories say something, I instinctively want to punch someone… :-/

    (Ha. Number 15 – Nae Tories.)

  48. Elizabeth Sutherland says:

    I suppose we could throw them an Eton Mess on May7.

  49. Steve Bowers says:

    Would love to stay and read this but i’ve got to go make a deep fried Brussel Sprout pie

  50. Iain Gray's Subway Lament says:

    it’s still a bit hard to miss the fetid westminster stench of the corrupt and sleazy Rifkind grubbing around for cash.

    The tory party really are a bunch of out of touch westminster bubble twits.

    This is Cameron’s Cabinet of millionaire toffs in action.


    BTW somebody should really knock up a picture of the grinning corrupt sleazebags Jack Straw and Malcolm Rifkind and put Better Together right across the top of the pair of them in suitably big letters.

    I could see that being a popular poster. 😀

  51. Iain Gray's Subway Lament says:

    Here’s a better link to Cameron’s cabinet of westmisnter millionaire toffs. 😉

  52. Grizzle McPuss says:

    Damn it. Mouse rolled over picture (above) and THEN I notice, Rev had already mentioned deep fried Mars.

    Ah well, keep my heathen head down, and now to home for the peat fire and to spin some more tweed.

  53. Marie clark says:

    Whit ! Is this crap for real. Jings, crivens and help ma boab. Who in the Scottish office came up with this nonsense.

    @ Mosstrooper aye you’re right the are trying, VERY.

  54. Andy-B says:

    Do I detect a hint of sarcasm, laced with tons of resentment, yes I think I do.

    A small mountain you can walk up,which happens to be the highest in the UK.

    Its surrounded by water, WoW! what a brilliant observation.

    Brussel sprouts, no honestly Brussel sprouts.

    Is he pleasantly surprised by the sprout thing or disappointed, who knows? and frankly who cares I love sprouts.

    Sprouts can be traced back to 13th Cent Belgium.

  55. Vince says:

    14 Great Reasons For Westminster, big business and the ruling classes to love Scotland

    1 They enjoy the income from our oil reserves
    2 They have all the big jobs for that industry in England
    3 They can enjoy the income from our whisky and our farming
    4 300 of them can enjoy the half of Scotland that they “own”
    5 Scots were happy to accept the de-industrialisation of this country
    6 Scots have been prepared to accept that our main political parties until the SNP have been branch offices of their English owners
    7 Scots are happy to take the scraps of the Barnett formula
    8 Scots have never developed their own media
    9 Scots are encouraged to have and have been willing to retain a sectarian outlook on life
    10 Many Scots have been brainwashed by the British Establishment that all things British are good
    11 Many Scots have been brainwashed by the BBC that all things British are good.
    12 Scots have been prepared to accept that for the sake of Britain a nuclear time-bomb on their doorstep is good.
    13 Scots have been prepared to accept a poor infrastructure while subsidising expenditure on London’s infrastructure
    14 Scots are happy that they have a pretendy Parliament while Westminster full of expense fraudsters, cash for questioners and 800 unelected “governors” run our country.
    and a bonus 15 It’s a lovely place to come and retire to because it’s so cheap

    Let’s hope that the times they are a changing.

  56. Murray McCallum says:

    Sake! What’s the going rate to bribe someone in the Scotland Office to pull some half decent promo material together?

  57. Iain Gray's Subway Lament says:

    Back in the news 16 days before the polls open RT @jamesdoleman Andy Coulson will stand trial in Scotland on charges of perjury on 21 April 😀

  58. Sean says:

    I feel you misrepresented that bit about “People have to leave the country to get a job” a little. Folk might go around telling people word for word that thats what the UK Gov actually said. I know in essence they did, but still. 😛

  59. Tattie-bogle says:

    “welcome to Stoneybridge, we have Facilities”

  60. Dorothy Devine says:

    Nauseating, truly nauseating.

  61. call me dave says:

    Pretty poor stuff and a bit patronising too!

    Last time I looked at a map Scotland had a land border with England. I don’t paddle as far South as the Kent coast.

  62. Joemcg says:

    Still in total shock. £5 grand for half a days work?? £5 GRAND?? Malky must walk about thinking he is the second coming every day!

  63. David Stevenson says:

    Joemcg: You’re right. It makes Lord Tommy McAvoy’s £300 a day for showing up at the House of Lords look like chump change even though that is still more than someone on minimum wage would earn in a week…..

  64. Skip_NC says:

    Are you sure the archived page isn’t a hoax?

  65. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    I sense I am hearing the creaking and splashing sounds of the Political Ships of State called SS Tory and SS Labour casting off from Malky Riffkin and Jack “reptile” Straw.

  66. Alastair Wright says:

    Actually I think this is a huge mistake by Westminster, now we know the reason they wanted us to stay in the union wasn’t the oil——– it was the brussel sprouts!

  67. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    Do you suppose that what’s’is name in Orknet did though these out in the snug at the Fisherman’s Rest in Kirkwall?

    I know he received a big bumper collection of crayons from Nick Clegg for Xmas.

  68. Stoker says:

    This has to be a piss-take, surely!

    I can’t believe those Tory bastards would be that ignorant.

    What has Mundell or Ruthy got to say about this?

    Might be worth sending a wee enquiring email.

    @ IGSL (4.48pm),

    That is a top-class poster idea.
    Someone with the ability to put that together should get to work on it immediately. And done in big red lettering, with red rose.

  69. heedtracker says:

    £5 grand for half a days work?? £5 GRAND??

    £5 to £8 grand a day, is the Rifkind rate. Rifkind’s also chairman of the House of Commons Intelligence and Security Committee. In other words this one tory boy alone has direct access to UK state military and security and spying information and probably loads of military secrets too. Yet here he is, selling himself to Chinese businesses, he thinks. In any other country, he’d now be under arrest and investigated as a spy but because this is UKOK tory boy world…

  70. Jamie Arriere says:

    Had a wee chuckle at the reference to the Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen as a ‘traditional Scots song’

    Aye, written last century by Mary Webb of Leamington Spa & London, an Englishwoman who’d never set foot in Aberdeen, written for a homesick friend (yep, one of those who had to leave Scotland to find work)

  71. ronnie anderson says:

    Whit ah want tae know is whit time does the Northern Lights get switched oan,an who,s paying the lekky bill. Am no paying fur something ah canny see.

  72. Gary45% says:

    Whit nae haggis, haggis racing or subsidising Westminster ?

    The Westminster parasites really are out of touch with reality.

    Vote SNP to get real politicians into Westminster, to clear out the dregs of society, and then once again it could be called Westminster.

    Aye and Stoneybridge also has a bus shelter to rival all other bus shelters!

  73. Croompenstein says:

    Ma sporran’s champit fu o Brussels f*in Sprouts and there’s a moose loose aboot this hoose… FFS 🙁

  74. art1001 says:

    @ Vince

    Brilliant post. This has to go viral. Its the absolute rock bottom truth.

  75. Grouse Beater says:

    Inspired by the Scottish Office’s inert imagination, here are a few more:

    You will love Scotland because you don’t have to live there.
    Scotland has civil servants who enjoy exaggerating its power.
    Scotland sold its home-grown sprout to the Belgians for a hill of turnips.
    Forget Auld Lang Syne, read some of Rabbie Burn’s raunchy rhymes.
    Tossing the caber was derived from Scots who carry a big chip on their shoulder.
    There are many reasons to love Scotland so tell us what they are.
    If there’s one thing Scotland has it’s space, only most of it lies on its side.
    Sheep outnumber people in Scotland, and like sheep get fleeced once a year.
    Bagpipes were traditionally played on mountains and that’s where they should stay.
    A ‘glen’ is an empty valley, a man who carries your golf clubs, and a sheep dog.
    Highland ‘Clearances’ were bargain basement sales of land at knock-down prices.
    Haggis was originally the cement in Highland croft walls, eaten only in extremis.

  76. Dorothy Devine says:

    OT just listened to STV news and have sussed that the way forward is to be SNP/Labour are too close to call on policy fro they are both emphasising the same things .

    Having watched a clip of the man who would wear a football shirt in some school in Glasgow with a football game on computer and the FM in a deprived London school , Miss Stewart drew her own conclusion.

    So there’s no a fag paper between them folks – or at least that’s what STV are going to try to sell us.

  77. @ronnie anderson says:

    Whit ah want tae know is whit time does the Northern Lights get switched oan,an who,s paying the lekky bill. Am no paying fur something ah canny see.

    Pooling and sharing!

  78. john king says:

    Get off Dave your smothering me

  79. Dumb Unicorn says:

    Why David Cameron really loves Scotland:

    1 – It’s surrounded by water.

    Handy for storing nuclear subs.

    2. There’s scenery.

    Something for rich landowners to own.

    3. It’s got a Parliament.

    Well technically it’s got two. One for keeping them occupied while we get on with juggling the money into the right pockets in the other.

    4. Rabbie Burns.

    Perfect for stereotyping the ‘Scotch’ (especially when quoted in Willie from the Simpson’s voice).

    5. Invented toilets and hypnotism.

    Somewhere to put our cr&p and a way to brainwash the people into voting for us

    6. Brussels sprouts.

    Well, we need our Christmas dinner.

    7. Whisky.

    So MPs can get rat-faced in the Commons bar (at a discount obviously)

    8. Earth’s magnetic field.

    Oooh, pretty.

    9. Universities.

    Fantastic for completing our politicians’ training after their apprenticeships in Eton and Rugby

    10. Golf

    Perfect for meeting other rich people (at the right clubs, natch).

    11. People have to leave the country to get a job

    Helps keep the talent pool down. Wouldn’t want them getting ahead of themselves.

    12. Teenage brides.

    No Comment.

    13. Macaroni pies and haggis. And chips.

    Another goldmine for making fun of the ‘Scotch’ (deep fried mars bars, LOL).

    14. A small mountain you can walk up.

    Good for photo ops and pretending you love the outdoors

    15. THE PEOPLE

    David, you forgot the people! Oh, actually you didn’t. That’s one thing about Scotland you don’t like.

  80. Legerwood says:

    Ronnie Anderson @ 6.03

    The Northern Lights are cheaper now thanks to the fall in the price of oil. 🙂

  81. john king says:

    fixitfox says
    “Brussels sprouts are divisive eh? Whit like Independence? Yes or No?”

    Aa kin sit in the same room as a yes voter if that’s whit yea mean.

  82. Effijy says:

    You are an Ignorant, Condescending Bastard Mr Cameron!

    How wonderful Scotland will be without your Blue & Red Tories!

  83. john king says:

    Heedtracker says
    “6. England invented everything and every sport, from hockey to wiff waff”

    I name you Boris Johnson and I claim my £100.00 pounds.

  84. Sagacity says:

    Riffkind by accepting an ‘inducement’ opened himself up to the possibility of being blackmailed. Not very clever for the Chairman of the Intelligence Select Committee.

    Will we see him stand down from this role at least until the investigation is complete? Will Cameron suggest this is the right action to take? Will Cameron take this action for the ‘good of the country’? Or will it all be kicked into the long grass?

    What have the security services been doing here? If Channel 4 knew about it surely so did MI5/6 and why was this not reported to Downing Street? Or was it and this is yet another cover up by the Establishment?

    Hopefully an independent Scotland would be more transparent and avoid the worst of this corruption.

  85. frogesque says:

    Regarding the Aurora Borealis: I have been fortunate to see this spectacle a few time from Fife no less. One very memorable night I was directly underneath a full corana display. Moving and beautiful. The same aurora was also seen as far south as Southampton! You just have to know when to took – google Spaceweather.

    As for the rest, Scotland is beautiful, somewhat bereft of native trees due to forestry plantations and overgrazing by deer and sheep but heyho, the sporting estates have to have the land don’t they?

    Finally, brussel sprouts, they too grow well in Fife and Kinross – especially on The Howe which has never been blighted by coal bings and we are surrounded by soooo much sea. Shame we are no longer able to fish the waters though.

  86. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Ledgerwood Ok Ok but whit aboot the maintainance charges ur they much cheepness, an is it ah fulltime or partime job,is it zero hours contract the operators oan, questions must be answered.

  87. wee folding bike says:

    We invented the bicycle.

    Yes, THE BICYCLE, thereby giving mobility to the masses, velocipedes aided votes for women and they continue to provide low carbon transport for the twenty first century.

    Nobody has invented anything better, before or since.*

    •Possible bias.

  88. john king says:

    Tattie-bogle says
    “welcome to Stoneybridge, we have Facilities”

    Naw yer no gettin the olympics. 🙂

  89. Davy says:

    And for No 15, we have the seer Jim Murphy’s latest pronouncement:

    “Their is inequality in education and it is the SNP’s fault”.

    Well hit me on the fanny wee a kipper and call me one of the big girls, who would have believed that !!!

    Thank God the SNP got rid of tuition fee’s or we would have been truly fucked.

    Note: was Jim Murphy in favour of tuition fee’s or not ? anyone know ?

  90. Croompenstein says:

    The bastirts left Nessie oot… and tartan FFS nae tartan Nessies!!

  91. blairtawheelie says:

    I fart in their general direction.

  92. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Cynicalhighlander, Pooling & Sharing am fussy who ah share ah plunge pool wie.Ah would have shared wan on Sat nite wie Paula Rose & Cearc but it wiz a bitty to cauld fur ootside stripping aff at the Inverwhatsit nite oot.

  93. Paula Rose says:

    The biggest expense re the northern lights is when any bulbs need changing.

  94. Effijy says:

    Breaking Wind, No News!

    Scotland to get new powers over their Brussels Sprout Crops.
    Up to 30% of the methane gas produced by Scottish diners will now go into a Scottish Flatulence Fund.

    The Wow is delivered.

  95. JGedd says:

    @Bugger (the Panda) 4.32pm

    You are right,of course. Anton Mesmer wasn’t Scottish.

    It is possible, however, that whoever made this list up was referring to Michael Scot or Scotus, a real historical figure who was a famous scholar (1175 – 1232). He was an important intellectual figure of his day, a mathematician and polyglot who among other things, translated from Arabic, the writings of Aristotle.

    His esoteric seeking after knowledge, including astrology, gained him a slightly sinister reputation as a sorcerer. Despite being highly regarded he does appear in Dante’s Inferno consigned to the 8th Circle of Hell. It was this questionable reputation of being interested in the occult which made him a semi-legendary figure in later ages, said to commune with devils.

    Scot was credited in his time with knowledge of, and interest in, early medicine, so later there were stories of him using techniques which sound like attempts at mind control, or hypnotism if you like. Although born in Scotland, he earned his reputation as one of the most learned minds of his age while abroad in Europe.

    Whoever made up this list, I think was bent on mischief, for instance, leaving out inventions genuinely credited to Scots in favour of a legend. They probably enjoyed the puzzlement they might cause, but someone like that would be looking forward at some point to revealing their ” prank”.

    Or it could just be a list made up by a numptie.

  96. Calum Craig says:

    Come on, I like brussel sprouts.

  97. Hoss Mackintosh says:

    I detect the work of that numpty – Alistair Carmichael.

    The stupidest Secretary of State for Scotland in history.

  98. ronnie anderson says:

    @ frogesque. Aurora Borealis indeed, dont gie them any mair help in promoting Scotland they,re deying ok themselves an certainly dont tell thaim aboot the upstairs doonstairs ooyside cludgies,we hiv tae hud some secrets fur attracting visitor when we,re Independant.

  99. Neil says:

    Penicillin isn’t an invention.

  100. Fairliered says:

    I expect this will be a question on “Pointless” in the near future.

  101. David Agnew says:

    Its astonishing really. What we have is arrogant condescension. And whats more, I am left with the notion that he really does not care about the politics of Scotland. It’s a case of say what you like as long as it sounds clever.

  102. Grouse Beater says:

    David: What we have is arrogant condescension

    Say no more.

  103. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Bugger the Panda .Gonna save up yer wine corks ah hiv a feeling this sites gonna get very smelly wie everybody eating 800 tons of brussel sprouts.

  104. North chiel says:

    Possibly the originator has been on the “national drink” reminiscing
    In the “Scotch office”. Couldn’t possibly been SOS “Portsmouth”??

  105. Graham MacQueen says:

    Wish I’d never read that now, for I am seething. Although I try hard to show compassion to all, I swear, if that patronising tosspot ever crosses my path I will happily show him how much Scotland ‘loves’ him. Whatever jumped up little ratbag wrote that seriously needs to learn some manners!!!!!

  106. Lesley-Anne says:

    Sorry for going O/T here. Nice to see Murph the Smurph’s nine years at uni taught him how to count… oh wait a minute it didn’t did it! 😀

    117% of 3 year olds in Scotland are registered for childcare. @kdugdalemsp explains how that fuzzy maths can be true.

    Here is the link he has on his tweet. It was written by his wee sid kick whatshername. 😉

  107. Bugger (the Panda) says:


    You mean Duns Scotus

    from whence come the word dunce?

  108. frogesque says:

    ronnie anderson says:
    23 February, 2015 at 7:27 pm
    @ frogesque. Aurora Borealis indeed, dont gie them any mair help in promoting Scotland they,re deying ok themselves an certainly dont tell thaim aboot the upstairs doonstairs ooyside cludgies,we hiv tae hud some secrets fur attracting visitor when we,re Independant.

    Up ‘n’ doon cludgies? Us real Scots wipe oor airses oot in ra bog wi a hanfu’ o’ moss an’ a million midgies!

  109. msean says:

    Does this mean they have been hiding the true extent of income from sprouts 🙂 ?

    Is there one of these pages for England,or are they just picking on Scotland?

  110. X_Sticks says:

    Here’s a real reason to love Scotland; Wee Ginger Dug’s latest:

    And, what’s more you can help Paul out with his fundraiser too:

  111. Gary says:

    How can you top any of this crap on April Fool’s Day??

  112. Legerwood says:

    Ronnie Anderson @ 6.50

    Work outsourced – off planet – Alpha Centaurus – non- union droids.

  113. Natasha says:

    @Bugger (the Panda)


    You mean Duns Scotus

    NO HE DOESN’T! The BLESSED John Duns (Duns Scotus) was a respected theologian of the Catholic Church; Michael Scot was suspected of being a wizard and dabbling in black magic (admittedly, some people may feel that there is no difference between the two).

    Also, it’s JGedd.

    Lecture over; please don’t be cross with me.

  114. Bugger (the Panda) says:


    Consider yourself duly spanked 50 shades style with bamboo.

  115. Paula Rose says:

    Natasha – you tell them doll – also along with John Duns, Dr John Dee was the template for Prospero In The Tempest, an apologia for the pre-reformation.

  116. Lenny Hartley says:

    Where’s the Fax machine invented by Alexander Bain of Watton near Wick in Caithness in the year 1843 yes 1843.

    Now it took until the 1980’s before the first commercial fax machines started to arrive in private companies, the first one I bought for the Company I worked for cost over six thousand pounds.

    The military, government organisations such as the met office and major multinationals had basic very slow ones before this, but the early 80’s was when the first group 3 machines started to gain a foothold in commercial offices.

    Think about it Alexander Bain invented a device in 1843 and it took until the 1980’s nearly a century and a half later for the Technology to catch up. Awesome.

    He also invented the Electrical Clock and Chemical Telegraph.

  117. Macart says:

    @ X_Sticks

    Spot on.

    Worth every penny. 🙂

  118. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    With the amount of contributors on here these days, I just don’t have the time to read every comment but I see my sentiment has been already elucidated.

    This is the sort of guff that was coming out in the months before the referendum vote.

    The fact that they are putting the same guff out, in the months before a UK General Election, would tend to indicate that the Westminster establishment are running scared; running very scared.

    Onwards and upwards…

    “Oh we’ll fight for what is right
    And the dawning of the day,
    When we’ll rise again to win our claim
    For Scottish destiny.”

  119. JLT says:

    Just watched the dispatches program …no doubt about it, both Rifkind and Straw have been caught!

    Simply put, both men have promoted their own self interests but using Parliament as a tool to help the bogus Chinese company that was used in the sting.
    The belter for me came from Straw. Not only did he conduct the interview actually in his office in Westminster, but he tried to excuse his conduct by literally saying that ‘to save time, it was easier to do it in his Westminster offices’. The cherry on the cake though, is that Straw taking 2 individuals, whom he had not checked out through official channels, nor did he do the same with the company, then took them on a private guided tour within Parliament!!! …Seriously, Jack …WTF !!!! Talk about f****** security breaches!!! And then the dozy clown has the audacity to tell us that he’s done nothing wrong!!

    Aye right, Jack …keep gaw’in…

    Malcolm didn’t do any better. He literally joined the bogus companies board while still being filmed. Another clown who did no backroom checks to see if it was a valid company.

    Yep …thanks to the Better Together mob who fooled half the nation, we’re back right in the heart of Westminster scandals, and putting up with more of this effin mince.

    Wonder if Murphy is sweating yet. He better hope to high heaven that deleting texts is all he’s got to worry about…

  120. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    I think that should be “With the number of contributors”…

  121. DaveyM says:

    Are we sure it’s not from a spoof account?

  122. JB says:

    Have I got this right?

    A superfluous and underemployed offshoot of the Westminster government has funded an exercise which aims to troll the population of Scotland using expensive photos of questionable taste with somewhat inapropriate captions.

  123. terry says:


    Absolutely agree – I have contributed and also gone on the National’s website. They have a survey monkey which I filled out and asked them to include Wee Ginger Dug posts. They just keep getting better and better which I didn’t think possible.

    How good is this? – “But it’s not all evil Tories. Former Labour Foreign Secretary Jack Straw is evil too. Jack has always been evil so this is of course news of the “It often rains in Coatbridge” or “slamming your wullie in a door is as useful as voting Labour” variety.” ha ha!!!

  124. Papadox says:


    As big Malky (Rifkin) proudly said today “I’m self employed” I nead to get income from somewhere you certainly should be Malky get a real job.
    You and jack Straw are parasites and have made a long career out of it. WESTMINSTER is full of well spoken con artists and fraudsters, the smell from the place is rancid.

  125. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    Simple question.

    Why didn’t they check out the credentials of the people, quick Dunn and Bradstreet, Google, word in the ear of HSBC, before the meeting.

    Simple answer

    Because they are so far up their own backside they cannot think that anyone would try anything on them

    Too long in that Space Bubble called Westminster, too full of hubris.

    Another wee nugget is that Andy Coulson is due back in Scotland on his perjury trial during April.

    Great red meat before the Westminster GE.

  126. Hoss Mackintosh says:


    Andy Coulson going on trial on April 21st – perfect timing for this Tory PM adviser and May 7th GE 2015..

    Gaun yersel Tommy.

    If there is any justice in this world, Andy Coulson will be locked up – hopefully by 6th May !

  127. dunx says:

    @Natasha and @BTP

    A wee word or two in acknowledgement of John Duns Scotus.

    “In 1302 William Lamberton, Bishop of St Andrews, sought a legal justification for renouncing Balliol in favor of a more assertive king. He found the crux of his argument in the teachings of Duns Scotus, a philosopher-theologian, whom he met with in Paris. Scotus argued that:

    The real root of royal authority…had nothing to do with inheritance. A king whose power was legitimate was king because his people granted him their consent, and if that consent were to be withdrawn for any reason then the man was king no more. (Oliver, 126-127)

    A king (or queen) was therefore not one thanks to any ‘right’ attained through wealth, title or divine assent, but because of their service to their people and community. The failure of Balliol to act as a steward for Scotland’s best interests, combined with the disasters that befell Scotland during the Wars of Independence, gave Duns Scotus’ conception of a custodian-king a great deal of appeal. It helped, of course, that there was one ready made in the person of Robert Bruce.”


  128. HandandShrimp says:

    Brussels sprouts are divisive? I’ve always found them explosive.

  129. Bugger (the Panda) says:


    Thanks for that erudite explanation. I need to read up more on that topic s it seems to very fundamental to the concept of the sovereignty of the people and, of course,

    We the People.

    Anyway, I knew I was dumb, but not deaf.

  130. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    HandandShrimp says:
    23 February, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    “Brussels sprouts are divisive? I’ve always found them explosive.”

    With a curry, they certainly are.

  131. Cadogan Enright says:

    I saw the Scottand Office post at the weekend and thought they had been hacked by a tipsy Irish hacker

    Only dawning on me now that they REALLY POSTED THIS S++TE. They probably would’nt even understand how awful it is . . .

  132. Jet Jockey says:

    Can anyone spot the headline coming up ” GORDON SAVES TESCO and 150 jobs “.and every newspaper will toe the line.

  133. Don’t you feel the lurv, I feel the lurv. The missed that Scotland has the only living saint in the form of Saint James the murph, He may be dying, but he’s not quite there yet.

    Also Straw and Rifkin, does their fee’s mean that Rifkin only works for 8 and a bit days a year for us and Straw 13 and a half days a year. Is that a zero hour contact or what.

  134. Joemcg says:

    Gordon saves Tesco Kirkcaldy AND the Union??!! What a man!

  135. Fran says:

    Hahahahahaa priceless

  136. Fred says:

    Straw reveals that he expects to go to the Lords, the wee creep had better not. More ammunition for scrapping this negative asset for good, eh?

  137. JGedd says:

    @ Natasha @ Bugger (the Panda ) 8.33pm

    Yes, Natasha, you’re right, of course.

    However, Bugger is also right in one particular – albeit by accident – since the name is actually JGeddes. The first time I was about to post a comment on this site, I was interrupted by a telephone call and after the call, without checking, I hit the submit button before realising that I hadn’t completed the name. I simply accepted it and have been JGedd ever since.

  138. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    So, who’s gonna ride to the rescue of the Troon Tesco?

  139. Hoss Mackintosh says:

    Eeeekk – I have lost my ten gallon hat and turned into a Space Invader.

    Does anyone know how to reset the auto-fill boxes on Wings for IPad, Andriod and PC (IE)?

  140. Patrician says:

    @ronnie anderson

    Don’t worry about paying for the northern lights but spare a thought for the poor buggers who have to change the bulbs, that is one big shoogly ladder.

  141. Jim Thomson says:

    @Brian Doonthetoon 10:20pm

    That would be yer namesake young Mr Donohoe, if he can be arsed.

  142. Les Wilson says:

    Gordon Brown re Tesco, make no mistake this was not Brown, it was Tesco supporting the Union.

  143. Robert Peffers says:

    @Dr Ew says:23 February, 2015 at 3:53 pm:

    “I think someone at the Scottish Office might be on our side – they cannot be this ignorant. Surely?”

    Oh! Yes they can.

  144. Sinky says:

    It’s time the SNP and its supporters were more pro active about the broadcasting democratic deficit during this general election.

    Just watched EBC 10 o clock “National News”- I know, but it was on when I came home – and coverage of benefits for elderly people.

    Gave resume of all “main” parties policies including UKIP (2 MPs .. opinion poll projection for 7th May is still.. 2 MPs) but no mention of the part with 6 MPs and projected to get 20 plus.

    Every time UKIP is given coverage we should demand at least equal treatment for the SNP.

    To balance this state of affairs Reporting Scotland would require to give an SNP rep one minute to outline its policy without contributions by the other parties.

    Imagine the outrage by the unionists if that was to happen but it would only be fair.

  145. Papadox says:

    Andy Colson will in my humble opinion be on the pat and Mick come his trial date, till after the election. Am I just a cynical old fool.

  146. BOB MACK says:

    Smith fom Scotland 2015 alluding to the S.N.P being able to work very effectively with the Tories in Hollyrood,and getting confirmation from a Tory member.Grrrrrrr

  147. Tackety Beets says:

    Sorry , not got time tonight to read every post

    @ Neil Mackenzie and others.

    Ref The Northern Lights , jump on to FB ” Scotland By The Roadside”

    Some great N’ Lights photaes from all over Scotland , may help you find a good location to view.

    Despite there only being a fag paper between Lab an Tory ,any Labour Voter who is still voting for them will never in a month o Sunday’s vote for Tories .
    Conversely a Tory supporter would never vote for a Labour candidate .
    Even my Yes supporting mid 80’s mother exclaimed ” Who is gonna like being told what to vote ? ”

    Maybe that para is too simplistic .

    I must say I have been very impressed with the quality of SNP candidates .
    Watch out for Owen Thompson and many more .
    Back to work for me .

  148. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    I am no geek or compwizz but if you look at the image above and then read the letters , is that a hashtag?

    Owly joke?

  149. CameronB Brodie says:

    What, no Stoneybridge?

    An exceedingly weak effort and easily dismissed attempt at camaraderie, or the same modus opperandi as the BBC weather map? Seriously lacking in thought and creativity, or deliberately aimed at belittling Scotland, with the aim of undermining our sense of self-worth and ambitions?

    IMO, this is weaponised ‘cringe’, straight from the manufacturer.

  150. Famous15 says:

    Sarah Smith repeatetedly raised tactical voting kidding on she was open minded but showed the East Lothian Labour guy and his chart!


  151. JGedd says:

    Thought you might be interested in this strongly-worded letter to The Scotsman from the Chair of the Prison officers Association in Scotland.

    Note the comments on reporting and also on the attitudes of members of the Labour party and the STUC.

    To quote from the letter of complaint – “Particularly galling is the concern expressed by the Labour party over the loss of prison officers’ ‘fundamental right to withdraw their labour’. Our colleagues in England and Wales have no such right, due to a Labour government using previous Tory anti-trade union legislation against them to remove it. The great irony in all of this is that the only prison officers in the UK with the right to strike are here in Scotland, due to the present Scottish government declining the invite from Jack Straw, Labour Home Secretary at the time, to use the same legislation against Scottish prison officers.”

  152. JGedd says:

    Thought you might be interested in this strongly-worded letter to The Scotsman from the Chair of the Prison officers Association in Scotland.

    Note the comments on reporting and also on the attitudes of members of the Labour party and the STUC.

    To quote from the letter of complaint – “Particularly galling is the concern expressed by the Labour party over the loss of prison officers’ ‘fundamental right to withdraw their labour’. Our colleagues in England and Wales have no such right, due to a Labour government using previous Tory anti-trade union legislation against them to remove it. The great irony in all of this is that the only prison officers in the UK with the right to strike are here in Scotland, due to the present Scottish government declining the invite from Jack Straw, Labour Home Secretary at the time, to use the same legislation against Scottish prison officers.”

  153. Jim says:

    Jet Jockey
    Can anyone spot the headline coming up ” GORDON SAVES TESCO and 150 jobs “.and every newspaper will toe the line.
    If Brown saves one Tesco then he must save all 43 otherwise crawl back in his hole and shut the fuck up.

  154. Rab.c says:

    Rifling and Straw would be better together inj jail

  155. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    Onnyhoo, there’s always the World Cup, if it doesn’t go to Yetts O’ Muckhart…

  156. JGedd says:

    Sorry for the double post. I was sure I only pressed ” Submit” once.

  157. caz-m says:

    Sarah Smith should step down from her job as presenter of BBC Scotland’s “Scotland 2015” programme. Tonight was blatant electioneering on behalf of the Scottish Labour Party.

    She was practically telling Tory voters in unwinnable seats to vote Labour.

    She is a disgrace to political journalism.

    BBC Scotland must replace her with a neutral presenter.

    Not someone like Smith, who is a dyed in the wool Labour Party fanatic.

  158. Dr Jim says:

    Sprouts, Sprrouts, Wee Sproutys, Sparouts,

    I’m starting to feel Sproud to be a wee Scotch Sprouty

    A certain cache, a wee bitty Frenchified, Och Och Och

  159. Author_al says:

    Scotland 2015 … Does anyone watch this biased crud? Is it a Drop The Dead Donkey remake without the funny bits? If Jim Murphy were a red Teletubby I am sure he would be replaying this non stop…ad nauseum.

  160. Zane Stumpo says:

    The Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen
    1) They’ve got the lyrics wrong.
    2) It’s not traditional. It was written in 1952 by an English couple. So they’re probably in breach of copyright for reproducing the lyrics without permission or attribution.
    I used to work with the ‘tiny wee lad’ it was written about. He was Archie P Lee, and he continued to work as a volunteer with the BBC decades after he formally retired.

  161. haud on the noo says:

    Cazm, we know, but some chance.

  162. Dr Jim says:

    The BBC is the Labour party
    As for Sarah Smith she is the daughter of the late John Smith who was of course leader of the Labour Party and was almost Prime Minister but for his untimely death
    Also if you check out the rest of the BBC employees you will find they are either members of, or married to, or related to the Labour Party
    and in this i shit you not

  163. charlie says:

    Stuart, why haven’t you deconstructed this youself? Apples in a barrell.It looks like spoof but…

  164. Mealer says:

    Dr Jim,
    You shit me not? After all them sprouts I reckon that’s about all you’ll be doing.

  165. caz-m says:

    Imagine you lived your life getting political opinions from the Daily Record AND BBC Scotland.

    What a depressing thought, but that is where hundreds of thousands of voters still get their information from.

    Thank God some smarty pants invented the internet and mobile phones.

    It gives us the opportunity to explain to the uninformed that they are being fed bullshit by the bucket load every day by our MSM.

  166. Marcia says:

    Are we going to be having a benefit night for Malcolm Rifkind, the poor soul? 🙂

    I came across the 1997 SNP General election broadcast tonight and how optimistic it was for the time and no negative campaigning ;-

  167. caz-m says:

    Dr Jim

    Is Sarah Smith really Jim Murphy with a dress on?

  168. manandboy says:

    There are many reasons to love an ATM.

    Here’s just 14.

  169. bookie from hell says:

    DAVID Cameron has backed calls for football fans in Scotland to be allowed to drink alcohol at matches.

    better alcoholic together

  170. Bruno Baumgartner says:

    Point #13 is definitively Scottish only. Every where else it is called maccaroni. Or perhaps genious who compiler of this list ist really Jock MacAroni?

  171. Cadogan Enright says:

    @bookie from hell -Shurely not shirr

  172. manandboy says:

    David Cameron probably spends more on booze than anyone in Scotland.
    It’s not that he drinks much – it just costs a lot.

  173. Cadogan enright says:

    @bookie from hell – shurely not shirr?

  174. Cadogan Enright says:


  175. Mac an sealgair says:

    If that post is genuine I can only assume hes sharing a line or two with Gideon

  176. A. Mylchreest says:

    Have you never been fooled by one of those signs that say POLITE NOTICE — NO PARKING? Same trick used here, look again 🙂

    Btw. I’ve seen the Northern Lights from Stirling, eaten haggis and chips, and I’m very fond of sprouts (but what about seed tatties?)

  177. heedtracker says:

    He forgot to mention NOT Scots oil but rancid Graun says £1.5 trillion oil reserves are worse than anything this morn and says vote SLab

    Sarah Smith says vote SLab SCon voters last night and Graun says “Oil & Gas UK’s report raises challenging questions for the Scottish government’s campaign for Scotland to have far greater fiscal independence in exchange for propping up a minority Labour government after the May general election.”

    No Scots Independence was great back in 2012, and had no control of not Scots oil, just like now. Could all change May 7 though, unless Graun style Project Fear 2 actually works.

    Why are UKOK oil reserves totals a very UKOK secret?

  178. Ghillie says:


    Not a single mention of shortbread!!


  179. caz-m says:

    BBC Scotland’s anti-SNP radio programme “Good Morning Scotland” have done it AGAIN. The early morning show starts at 6am with arch unionist presenters Gary Robertson and Haley Miller reading out what is in the morning papers.

    And once again they have left out what is in the “National” newspaper. We only have one newspaper leaning towards our way of thinking and once again they don’t even mention it.

    Sarah Smith ends the day for BBC Scotland, with blatant Labour Party electioneering and GMS starts the day with blatant anti-Scottish Government propaganda.

    Thank fuck they don’t get a penny from me to fund this mince.

    BBC Scotland should carry a Government health warning with every programme.

    This, “keeping an eye on the enemy” is a hard shift to put in.

  180. john king says:

    Sagacity says
    “Hopefully an independent Scotland would be more transparent and avoid the worst of this corruption.”

    We mustn’t hope for that we should demand it!

  181. Snode1965 says:

    Today’s National has a two page spread on SLabber asking folks to vote Tory. :-0. That should hopefully keep Murphy in his bunker for at least 24 hours. 🙂

  182. heedtracker says:

    Also not much out there on Jack Straw really but this is nice from Jakie boy

    Jack Straw: English MPs control all the money which Scotland receives – is that ‘fair’? England constitutes 85% of the UK’s population and 87% of its wealth. It was English MPs who agreed to devolve some powers to Scotland in a Westminster Act of Parliament; but year by year controls over public spending levels for all of the UK continue to be exercised by Westminster. And power devolved is power retained, not ceded.“

    Honesty is the worst policy for teamGB but this is nice too

    “The English are potentially very aggressive, very violent and of course we have used this propensity to violence to subjugate Ireland, Wales and Scotland. Then we used it in Europe and with our empire. You have within the UK three small nations under the cosh of the English.”

    From 2006.

  183. Tam Jardine says:


    Just heard sir Ian Wood on radio 4 pleading for tax cuts for the North Sea oil and gas industry.

    Sir Ian is not happy at the UK government’s response to the drop in the oil price and has forgotten his own role in keeping the UK government in charge.

    When asked by the interviewer if tax cuts would not simply be propping up a dwindling asset and would be better aimed at the renewables industries, Ian was emphatic – if we support the North Sea there are 16 billion barrels of oil to be extracted (as in shed loads of oil).

    What a difference a referendum makes. Before September 18th sir Ian campaigned to retain the current UK gov ‘shepherding’ of the industry and that the industry was in safe hands with the UK. And there were ONLY 16 billion barrels of oil left.

    If there is one person on this planet who should bite down and suck up UK government inaction on the tax regime of the North Sea it is surely Sir Ian Wood. And yet this is the oil and gas industry voice broadcasters seek out.

    I listened in vain for an apology to the people of Scotland for his unbelievable mistake in trusting Westminster with the oil and gas industry.

  184. scottieDog says:

    On the vote tory tactical thing, I’m sure Murphy and slab will support this in private but there had to be a fall guy to push it out there. It’s easy after that as the pro union press just propagate it.

  185. Macart says:

    @ John

    I’m wi you on that fella. The mindset of the establishment is ‘this is the way things are done’ and of course human nature being what it is…

    How many good people went into politics only to be turned by the opportunities provided by a bent system and culture? We are what we are, flawed and open to temptation. Where you have people in high office, you’ll have the temptation to abuse that office to your personal advantage. The only answer is to come down hard on the offenders. Make the punishment for being caught bending or fiddling the system too awful to contemplate risking it. Jail time being the ultimate penalty, but instant dismissal from office no ifs, but or mibbies. Possibly even penalties extending to the party of the offender. Make the punishment not just awful to contemplate for the offender, but their party.

    We have to demand honesty, transparency and accountability in our governance within reason. When none of the above are in evidence…, well you have Westminster as an example.

  186. Another Union Dividend says:

    BBC going big on oil disaster to-day.

    Can someone post links to the numerous BBC programmes highlighting massive oil revenues when price was $100 a barrel or above.

    Nevermind I am sure they will point out this from Financial Times 2 February 2014

    Even excluding the North Sea’s hydrocarbon bounty, (Scotland’s) per capita GDP is higher than that of Italy. Oil, whisky and a broad range of manufactured goods mean an independent Scotland would be one of the world’s top 35 exporters.


  187. Jim McIntosh says:


    “Make the punishment not just awful to contemplate for the offender, but their party.”

    Great idea, after all football clubs are held responsible for their players and fans, companies are held responsible in law for their employees actions while at work and even banks have been held responsible for rogue traders etc.

  188. Macart says:

    @ Jim McIntosh

    Personal bug bear of mine. Basically watching the buggers get off with naked abuse of position and or public theft. How many times have we heard that to save face they did the ‘honourable’ thing and resigned?

    Honour? They have no concept of the word. An abuser is an abuser and a thief is a thief. Were it down to me there would be no escape clause and resigning post wouldn’t be an option. Instant and very public dismissal followed by sanctions on the offenders party and if the crime is serious enough say… cash for access (which corporately compromises our government), graft, pilfering or misappropriation of public funds? Jail time.

  189. galamcennalath says:

    @Jim McIntosh

    Something else to think about. How many clubs would be happy for their players to play for other teams? Companies aren’t keen on their employees doing ‘homers’. And, rogue traders don’t do their trading in their own time.

    So, why is it not against the rules for MPs to earn £ quarter of a million in consultancy fees while also employed by the tax payer!?

  190. Dr Jim says:

    Ed Davy on
    Good morning Scotland
    UK oil and gas has enabled the UK to be an Independent NATION

    On so many levels that statement is


  191. Dr Jim says:

    I’m quite sure sir Ian Wood will be draped in ermine before too long for services to the UK oil and Westminster gas Together Corporation

  192. boris says:

    My family lived in the Gorbals in 1955. At that time people were poor, badly housed, undernourished, in ill-health and ill educated. Not a lot has changed since. Visitors to Glasgow are kept well away from Govan being directed to visiting the impressive George Square, the recently built BBC Scotland Headquarters and Science Centre buildings et. al.

    But visit Govan, (no way) it is a different world far removed from the glitter and gloss of areas that have been upgraded, through the good auspices of the Glasgow City Council. In Govan the lives of many inhabitants are still blighted by grinding poverty, drug dealing, alcohol abuse, ill health, early death, unemployment and despair. There are other areas of Glasgow in which conditions in Govan are mirrored. A factor common to all of the aformentioned is that for 50 years voters have loyally given their precious vote to Labour politicians whose only interest is to perpetuate the deprivation so that they would be sure of securing another majority at the next election.

  193. Fred says:

    A great pity the Straw/Rifkind scandal wasn’t before the Referendum eh?

    As for this Sarah Smith, her tongue is literaly too big for her mouth, you might think this unfoetunate circumstance would have disqualified her at the selection process. It would have done had her faither been other than John Smith.

  194. bookie from hell says:

    I always had Rifkind down as a one-nation Tory,caring more pragmatic

    What he said on tape,kills any notion Tory party come close to this

    This morning shows arrogance beyond belief

  195. Famous15 says:

    Eleanor Bradford on song on the BBC website. Waiting times worst for years! (but whisper better than England and Wales).

  196. Ealasaid says:

    O/T Iain MacWhirter’s book ‘Disunited Kingdom: How Westminster Won a Referendum But Lost Scotland’ is on the Kindle daily deal today (Tuesday) for £0.99p if anyone is interested.

  197. Donald Gillies says:

    I hate Brussel Sprouts…..should I leave? Naw….I’ll no let the Tories drive me oot!
    Seriously, they are having a laugh, aren’t they…

  198. jackie g says:

    Malcolm Rifkind has resigned and will also stand down as an MP.

    Well what a way to end your career Malcolm what would Maggie have said.

  199. scotspine says:

    Re Eleanor Bradford and the BBC (Adams, Robertson, Smith et al), all pretence of neutral public service broadcasting is extinct and they are an all out cabal of Unionist / Establishment propaganda.

    If SNP manage to do well and hold a balance of power, they MUST demand and achieve Devolution of broadcasting in Scotland.

    The BBC know this and are ramping up to thwart SNP at all costs.

    They know their jobs are on the line.

  200. dakk says:

    The ‘interview’ with Rifkind on Sky News this morning is comedy gold.It’s a must see.

    He’s so angry at his greed being exposed to the world.

  201. heedtracker says:

    So another senior union jock tory boy turns out to be just another crook or worse but thanks to the web, here in Englandshire we get this

    “THE General Election is now only 10 weeks away.
    Nicola Sturgeon
    It offers an opportunity for all Scottish voters – whether you voted Yes or No in the referendum – to make Scotland’s voice heard like never before.”

    Meanwhile, English broadsheet airbrushing Scotland out of UKOK from say LibbyCarrel who may well have gone insane, continues with rancid Graun pussy fetish, eg. An internet cat festival in Glasgow?

    Is that all you slackers are doing back up there in Scotchland land:D

  202. Roll_On_2015 says:


    Stu you may find the following link of some interest, given your recent brush with the Daily Retard.

    Ipso orders newspaper where to publish its correction

    The newspaper in question was the P&J

  203. Nana Smith says:

    Malcolm Rifkind steps down as chair of the Intelligence and Security Committee

  204. Nana Smith says:

    Charlie bot deleting comments he doesn’t like, oh dear what is it with these so called liberals…

  205. GrahamB says:

    Rifkind steps down after a day of arrogance and conceit, still protesting his conscience is clear – obviously he does not have a conscience.
    No doubt he’ll pop up again in vermin robes after the GE.

  206. X_Sticks says:

    From the state propaganda website:

    “Sir Malcolm Rifkind is stepping down as chairman of Parliament’s Intelligence and Security Committee after criticism over “cash-for-access” claims.

    The former foreign secretary is also standing down as a Conservative MP”

    I hope he’s stripped of his knighthood too. Deserves everything he gets. Greedy barsteward.

  207. Macart says:

    What did ah bliddy tell ye!

    Resignation and walks away.

  208. Roll_On_2015 says:

    Nana Smith: at 10:46 am

    Malcolm Rifkind steps down as chair of the Intelligence and Security Committee

    Aye Nana Smith and rumours are circulating that Jack Straw may take a job with a company that he lobbied for, for a £75m. Government contract, after the election

    What a sleaze hole Westmidden is.

  209. James Kay says:

    Perhaps the time has come to allow MPs to earn as much as they like/can from outside interests.

    But every penny earned outside Parliament would be deducted from their salary. In this way, Brown and Straw, Rifkind and Galloway would be doing their constituency work as a public service. It would be up to each constituent to decide whether service received was worth a vote.

  210. Nana Smith says:


    Sickening disgusting creatures, and just think they will be headed for the house of lords to carry on their criminality.

    The house of the rising —-

    There is a house in london town
    Corruption is its game
    Therein sits lords and ladies
    Buying titles is their shame

    These people think it is their right
    Passing laws to keep us down
    Those laws don’t apply to them
    For they hide behind the crown

    These are the benefit scroungers
    Signing in to get their dole
    Makes a mockery of our democracy
    To allow this sham to take hold

    It’s time for us to take a stand
    To be free of parasites
    Who suck the lifeblood from our land
    To keep old England’s might

  211. K1 says:

    I’m just awaiting Straw’s resignation noo…

  212. Roll_On_2015 says:

    Iain Gray’s Subway Lament: at 5:05 pm

    Back in the news 16 days before the polls open RT @jamesdoleman Andy Coulson will stand trial in Scotland on charges of perjury on 21 April.

    Aye and as Tommy would say ‘Another squeaky Bum on a seat’.

  213. Nana Smith says:

    apparently Nick Robinson has just tweeted

    “Rifkind may hope that by going quickly – as MP & intelligence committee chair – he’ll able to win disciplinary enquiry & head to the Lords”

    Aye no doubt, and the media will do all it can to help him along, after all he must have a hoard of dirty secrets. Eh?

  214. One_Scot says:

    ‘Generations of my family have crawled on their knees until they bled for the Labour cause. My Dad voted Labour, and I will always vote Labour. Wild horses could never get me to vote for another party.

    I will never be disenfranchised from voting for Labour so help me God, unless that is they tell me to vote Tory or Lib Dems obviously.’

  215. Luigi says:

    Fred says:

    24 February, 2015 at 10:04 am

    A great pity the Straw/Rifkind scandal wasn’t before the Referendum eh?

    Just in time for the GE though. No problem, they can only choose blue or red tory, can’t they? Oh wait a minute, in Scotland…….Oh Dear, Oh Feck!

  216. Luigi says:

    K1 says:

    24 February, 2015 at 11:19 am

    I’m just awaiting Straw’s resignation noo…

    That slimy creature will hang on as long as he can.

  217. Brian Powell says:

    Jack Straw is planning to take up a job with the company that was awarded a £70 million contract with the Gov. He lobbied for the company to get the contract.

    Nothing about that I see.

  218. X_Sticks says:


    “House of..”

    One there for Jock Scot methinks…

  219. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    @ Nana Smith

    (“Rifkind may hope that by going quickly – as MP & intelligence committee chair – he’ll able to win disciplinary enquiry & head to the Lords”

    Aye no doubt, and the media will do all it can to help him along, after all he must have a hoard of dirty secrets. Eh?)

    I think it may be the other way round.

  220. Roll_On_2015 says:

    Nana Smith: at 11:15 am

    Sickening disgusting creatures, and just think they will be headed for the house of lords to carry on their criminality.

    Spot on.

    Like your poem, is it your own?

    Is it copyrighted… I may use it at some time.

  221. Luigi says:

    In 2010, Labour MPs Patricia Hewitt and Geoff Hoon fell for a sting by undercover reporters. One of their colleagues was unsympathetic and particularly scathing:

    “There is such anger in the Parliamentary Labour Party, as well as I may say incredulity, about their stupidity in allowing themselves to be suckered in a sting like this. Their behaviour, prima facie, does indeed bring the Parliamentary Labour Party, as well as Parliament, into disrepute, because it appears that former Cabinet ministers are more interested in making money than they are in properly representing their constituents.”

    Guess who said that?

  222. Doug Daniel says:

    Come on now Stu, macaroni pies ARE pretty awesome.

  223. K1 says:

    Yes Luigi…tongue wiz firmly in cheek 🙂

  224. Nana Smith says:

    @X_Sticks I sent Jock another one, don’t know if he’s got time. I don’t want to overload oor Jock!

    @Bugger (the Panda).. Yes probably, they are all in the same club.

    @Roll_On_2015 Yes it’s mine, not copyrighted. I have written lots over the last year or so.

  225. Haggis Hunter says:

    This really does show how fekkin stupid the Brit establishment is.

  226. call me dave says:

    Ruthie touted as the replacement for Rifkin’s seat on the Beattie programme BBC cash in on her popularity down South.

    Only an outsider and don’t put your money on it says senior tory.

    Aye right!

  227. Lollysmum says:

    I’ve just put a comment on Charlie’s Facebook page so let’s see how long that one lasts 🙂

  228. X_Sticks says:

    Speaking of Ruthie, she’s just appointed the (bbc friendly) CBI ex-chief to a commission. Payback time for sound unionist. How much does of OUR money will this post be worth?

    “The former director of CBI Scotland, Iain McMillan, is to head up a new tax commission for the Scottish Conservatives”

  229. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    @ Nana Smith 12:15 pm

    I just reread my post and see that it is a bit obscure.

    So “they” are the people who read the minutes of the Committee before everybody else, maybe even write them.

    Riffkind will have some dirty secret, and the way he slavered to the fake Chinese as well as let them in without even checking them out suggests it has something to do about money.

  230. Big Red says:

    Reasons to dislike Scotland

    1. It’s not surrounded by water. It has England stuck to its bum

    2. There’s scenery – and associated tourists, with caravans

    3. It’s got a Parliament – with limited powers and no control over the big boy stuff

    4. Rabbie Burns – Listening to people mispronounce our language

    5. Invented toilets and hypnotism – Actually we invented most of the modern world, then gave it all away.

    6. Brussels sprouts. (See 5 above)

    7. Tax on whisky

    8. Earth’s magnetic field – Actually most parts of the world have the earths magnetic field so not really a reason.

    9. Universities – full of lovies and foreign royals “finding romance”

    10. Golf. See 9 and 2 above

    11. People have to leave the country to get a job.

    12. Teenage brides – except in Forfar where they are Bridies

    13. Macaroni pies and haggis. And all other forms of health foods

    14. A small mountain you can walk up to find yet more tourists spoiling the view

    15. Lists

  231. Muscleguy says:

    You can tell we grow sprouts if you walk/run/cycle/drive with the vents open through Angus and Fife. You can smell them. Don’t get me wrong, unlike my wife (bitter tasting veg gene) I like sprouts. Except the smell of them en mass is a bit offputing. Keeps the Poles gainfully employed and they are friendly folk who often wave as I run past.

    Remember when you eat British agricultural produce. Without people like the Poles etc there would be nobody to harvest the food. Used to be Irish Travellers, but they took up dodgy driveways instead. Must be more lucrative and less seasonal work. But whoever does it is pretty much destined to be regarded as an underclass which is a shame. It’s one of those shitty but necessary jobs we Brits are unwilling to do. To be fair it is pretty much impossible to do it except as an itinerant single person without any ambitions in the short term. Our eldest, NZ born, worked with lots of Poles and Czechs when working, and living, in Highland Hotels. Occasionally a local would take a job there but they rarely lasted long. Unsociable hours that can be unplanned long.

  232. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    Hi Big Red.

    You typed,
    Actually we invented most of the modern world, then gave it all away.

    And here’s the proof.

  233. Muscleguy says:

    Oh and in world terms it is a small mountain. Not even tall enough to be permanently snow capped. The North Island of New Zealand (much closer to the equator than Scotland) manages that for some volcanoes. The South Island of course has multiple ranges of actual Alps. You cannae walk up Mt Cook, it must be climbed and lots of people have died on it. Experienced mountaineers with all the equipment, not underdressed tourists. NZ gets those but they generally die lost/fallen at lower altitudes.

  234. Rhona says:

    Love that in 11 no living famous Scots are listed – presumably because they all came out in support of the YES campaign!

  235. Doug says:

    Brian, another book worth reading though i am not impressed by the end results. Scots still working for their colonial masters.

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