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This is not a spoof 180

Posted on May 16, 2014 by

We have not made this story up. It’s not the work of BBC Scotlandshire.

bbcoil5yrs

Just casually, there, beneath an unassuming, innocuous headline. No big deal.

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Another leaked poster 79

Posted on May 16, 2014 by

lifeexpectancy

(Story.)

Quoted for horror 113

Posted on May 16, 2014 by

An alert reader directed us to this document this morning:

“The reasons for the high Scottish mortality between 1950 and 1980 are unclear, but poverty and deprivation linked to particular industrial employment patterns, poor housing and unhealthy cultural and behavioural patterns seem the more likely explanations.

From 1980 onwards the mortality pattern changed and this seems most likely to be attributable to the changed political context, produced by neoliberal political attack, and the consequent hopelessness and community disruption experienced in Scotland and Glasgow.”

It’s a 2011 study by the non-political Glasgow Centre for Population Health, which attempts to discern why Scotland, and particularly Glasgow, has such appalling life expectancies compared to the rest of the UK. And its findings are startling.

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The Dishface Tapes 147

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

Watch (from 5m 50s) as David Cameron refuses to commit to having a bill for more powers for Holyrood in the first Queen’s Speech should he win the 2015 election.

Vote no, get nothing, and get it never.

The unionist case for independence 149

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

The unionist case for Scots voting No in the independence referendum is encapsulated in the following quote from the website of “Better Together”, the official No campaign:

“Devolution offers us the best of both worlds: we have a strong Scottish Parliament taking important decisions about schools, hospitals and jobs AND we benefit from the strength, security and opportunities we can take advantage of being part of a bigger United Kingdom.”

The main problem with this argument is that there’s an alternative Union which would provide the Scottish Parliament with more powers to “take important decisions about” things and allow Scotland to “benefit from” and “take advantage of’” the “strength, security and opportunities” of being part of something far bigger than the UK itself.

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Automatic pilot 74

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

Judging by the latest leak from our “Better Together” mole, we’re not sure anyone’s actually driving the No campaign any more. It seems to be set on an infinite loop.

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The pounds in your pockets 108

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

Several of today’s papers run with the story that in giving evidence to the Scottish Affairs Select Committee in Westminster, George Osborne yesterday made the claim that Scots could run out of cash under independence, as Scottish banks would no longer be able to print their own pound notes guaranteed by the Bank of England.

RBS banknotes

Osborne’s argument is that Scottish notes are accepted as currency in the UK under the Banknote (Scotland) Act of 1845. However, this legislation would no longer apply after independence without a currency union, thereby making Scots notes worthless.

In what was an oddly nervous and evasive performance before the Committee – despite its extremely friendly questioning – it was one of the Chancellor’s stranger assertions.

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The invisible army 154

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

We’ve been wiping tears of laughter from our eyes most of this morning, after reading one of the most magnificently bare-faced and audacious pieces of black-is-white lying we think we might ever have seen printed with a straight face in a British newspaper.

It appears in the Telegraph, which seems to have positioned itself latterly as the Daily Sport for people with a reading age above seven, and makes the mindboggling claim that “Contrary to its media image, the campaign to save the United Kingdom says it has more boots on the ground than its nationalist opponents”.

boots

In fairness, it doesn’t actually say whether these boots have any feet in them.

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Apocalypse worsens 131

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

Monday:

“On the basis of independent analysis, the UK Government has estimated that an average annual mortgage payment in Scotland could increase by £1,700.”

(UK government “factsheet” issued by the Scotland Office.)

Wednesday:

“For the average mortgage in Scotland, there would be £5,400 more [in] mortgage payments a year.”

(George Osborne to the Scottish Affairs Select Committee.)

Yikes! What the hell happened on Tuesday?

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The dangers of the kneejerk 162

Posted on May 14, 2014 by

We’re so used to reading doom-and-gloom predictions about the apocalyptic future that would await an independent Scotland, readers, that to our shame we occasionally fall foul of a trap we never stop warning you about – reading the headline of a story and not paying attention to the words below.

eenystannit

The one above is a case in point.

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Quoted for LOLs 65

Posted on May 14, 2014 by

Mark Wallace in Conservative Home, 14 May 2014:

“Darling might not have been the most dynamic campaigner in the world, but at least he isn’t a complete and utter Jonah. Replacing him with Alexander is the equivalent of replacing your single-bar heater with a bonfire in your lounge because you weren’t warm enough, substituting your Morris Minor with a North Korean missile in the hope of getting to work faster or deciding to shave with a lawnmower because your disposable Bic was a bit blunt.

Because it actually did make us laugh.

Grassroots concreted over 153

Posted on May 14, 2014 by

Well, that was odd. No sooner had we posted a rather lightweight little piece this morning, revealing that the fake-grassroots “Vote No Borders” campaign had been in development since June 2012, than the story got a whole lot more interesting.

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    • Geri on The value bet: “” someone, somewhere in that vast civil service – has run the numbers (and they do have the numbers, numbers…May 7, 01:42
    • Insider on The value bet: ““James” @ 10:45 What the hell are you gibbering about now ? Statues of who ?May 6, 23:46
    • James on The value bet: “What are the chances of you voting Tory? (100%).May 6, 23:09
    • Confused on The value bet: “One thing people should realise is that the polls can also be bent; he who pays the piper – one…May 6, 23:05
    • Mark Beggan on The value bet: “So you will be able to collect your winnings in 2326.May 6, 23:04
    • James Che on The value bet: “Did you know that Statues of the realm of England do not contain any Scottish or Irish Statues. Even after…May 6, 22:45
    • James Che on The value bet: “I foresee Scotlands independent country voting for a further three hundred years of Colonial rule and missing the open goal.…May 6, 22:26
    • Geri on The value bet: “Let me see… Is it cause two of them actually attempt to serve Scots & they’re not genocidal peado apologists?…May 6, 22:25
    • James Che on The value bet: “We hve been an independent Country in Scotlant since 1707, Whats wrong? You want to pretend that your in a…May 6, 22:18
    • Rev. Stuart Campbell on The value bet: “Same either way: fuck-all.May 6, 21:17
    • sarah on The value bet: “Cheer yourselves up, folks, by listening to Eva Comrie and others on today’s Barrhead Boy podcast. Then tomorrow go and…May 6, 21:07
    • Campbell Clansman on The value bet: “Better question: How on earth could Scottish voters consider voting for the parties that have misgoverned them this century? SNP,…May 6, 20:50
    • Campbell Clansman on The value bet: “What are the odds of the Alliance winning a “bucketload of seats?” Zero. Better question: What are the odds of…May 6, 20:46
    • Captain Caveman on Seven Days Too Long: “Bravo.May 6, 18:49
    • Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “No, Lorna. TH is right, as many didn’t speak out with any worth. Plenty supposedly pro returning Scotland to self-governance…May 6, 18:38
    • Lorncal on Seven Days Too Long: “Geri: the police could be heard quite clearly saying: drop the knife, drop the knife. He wouldn’t drop it and…May 6, 18:32
    • Mark Beggan on The value bet: “How on earth could Scottish voters consider voting for the SNP? 10 years of lies, mismanagement, theft, sexual deviation, bullying,…May 6, 18:09
    • Lorncal on Seven Days Too Long: “They did and were silenced by various methods. As far as I am aware, all of them spoke out and…May 6, 18:05
    • Mark Beggan on The value bet: “It wasn’t connected to the grass roots!May 6, 17:54
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Binfire Of The Vanities: “With respect, you must ponder deeper. It is not philosophy as such which we are warned to be wary of,…May 6, 17:53
    • Lorncal on Seven Days Too Long: “Wife: you make fair points. I know that ISP stands up for women, but they are not standing everywhere, and…May 6, 17:53
    • Mark Beggan on The value bet: “The tent covered all the issues?!May 6, 17:52
    • Effigy on The value bet: “How on earth could Scottish voters consider voting for Reform? 71 years of rejecting the Tories it looks like many…May 6, 17:47
    • agentx on The value bet: “Alliance to Liberate Scotland don’t register on polls and don’t register on betting odds.May 6, 17:43
    • Captain Caveman on Seven Days Too Long: “@Lorncal “We cannot rely on any of the parties to support women’s rights when push comes to shove and they…May 6, 17:24
    • Sven on The value bet: “Tent collapsed eh, well, that’s poles for you.May 6, 17:15
    • Mark Beggan on The value bet: “‘I took a poll recently and 100% of campers were very angry when their tent collapsed’!May 6, 17:09
    • Shug on The value bet: “Give us an idea of Swinneys option if A) he gets an overall majority B) he gets a minority gov…May 6, 17:07
    • Tommy on The value bet: “The Greens coming second would be the nightmare of nightmares. I mean, they even make the SNP look good. Another…May 6, 17:05
    • agentx on Anas Sarwar is a winner: ““While critics have pointed to the lack of formal, traditional trade union recognition, in May 2024, the Usdaw union stated…May 6, 17:00
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