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When history didn’t happen 244

Posted on January 09, 2015 by

Below is a clip from today’s “Morning Call” on BBC Radio Scotland. Speaking (from 16m 24s on the full show) are SNP MSP Mark McDonald, presenter Kaye Adams and Labour MSP Lewis Macdonald. There are a couple of noteworthy moments.

A caller named “George” had rung in concerned that the SNP might be giving up on their goal of independence, and Adams invited Mark McDonald to set his mind at rest. Here’s what happened in the next three minutes.

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The right kind of people 87

Posted on January 09, 2015 by

Scottish Labour’s new chief of staff this afternoon:

jmct

Hmm, wonder who “the right people” are?

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Scottish Labour For Dummies 2015 133

Posted on January 09, 2015 by

In the light of the announcement of Scottish Labour’s new chief of staff, we thought it might be worthwhile to summarise some of his views in one handy reference guide, for the benefit of left-wing Labour voters who may have voted Yes in the referendum but are now considering whether to return to the party this May.

mcternan1

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Reaching out to Yes 126

Posted on January 09, 2015 by

Alert readers may recall that since the election of Jim Murphy as Scottish Labour branch office manager he’s barely gone a moment without promising to “reach out” to Yes voters. Last month he even pledged that he’d employ some in his team if he won the Labour job.

murphyreach

We imagine they’ll be fair hammering on his door after the latest addition to his crew, because today’s Herald reveals that Murphy’s new chief of staff, and joining “Better Together” director Blair McDougall among Jim’s backroom boys, is to be our old pal John “there will be no referendum” McTernan.

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The goldfish principle 245

Posted on January 08, 2015 by

It is, we’ve remarked before, often difficult to satirise Scottish Labour, because it’s hard to think of anything more fatuous, transparently hypocritical or just plain idiotic than the things they actually say for real. The party’s recent demand that the Scottish Government should set up a “resilience fund” to cushion the blow of falls in oil prices – or as everyone else on Earth usually calls it, an “oil fund” – is only the latest example.

bailliefund1

There are just five months between the two tweets above. Yet Labour seemingly believes that the Scottish public will already have completely forgotten that the party spent most of the last two years telling Scots an oil fund was a mad, impossible idea.

But it’s even more ludicrous than it sounds.

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Back-to-work blues 372

Posted on January 06, 2015 by

It’s always tricky coming back to the office after the holidays. You get a bit ring-rusty and it can take a few days before you’re firing on all cylinders again.

railcross1

So we’re going to be charitable and assume that lack of match fitness was the cause of Scottish Labour’s astonishing multi-track trainwreck yesterday.

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A minor detail 192

Posted on January 05, 2015 by

From today’s Telegraph:

telegraphsturgeon

Actual number of children belonging to Nicola Sturgeon and Peter Murrell: 0.

You literally can’t make this stuff up.

One thousand louder 142

Posted on January 05, 2015 by

We had to extend our festive semi-break for a day to deal with some administrative matters, readers, but it’s just as well, because the thing that happened today would have defied our best attempts at either analysis or satire.

1000louder

That’s a real thing we didn’t make up. Saints preserve us.

Time for a rest 122

Posted on January 04, 2015 by

unionhogs

Then and now 165

Posted on January 04, 2015 by

Labour 2014:

nawhs1

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We really do adore him 304

Posted on January 02, 2015 by

If twice is a coincidence and three times is a trend, then these five recent pictures of “Saint” Jim Murphy – the martyr who endured an egging for all our sins – from the print media surely tell us something interesting.

halo1

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A simple plan 304

Posted on December 30, 2014 by

Scottish Labour clearly get a pretty good deal from the printers’ shop that makes the giant pound coins, because they’re waving them around again.

labpound

The North British branch office’s latest wizard jape is to upset all the people who they urged to join for £5 just last month – never mind the gullible saps forking out nine times that much – by offering cut-price memberships at £1 a year.

It’s what the retail trade calls a “loss leader” – in effect the party will be paying people to join, because £1 won’t come anywhere near to covering the cost of processing each new member, sending them a membership card and so on.

But it did give us an idea.

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