Only a few diehards in the press are still clinging this morning to the Labour fiction we exposed yesterday, namely the flat-out empirical falsehood that “the biggest party gets to form a government” in the event of a hung Parliament.
As that’s where Scottish Labour is led from, of course. The Ashcroft polls leaked late last night have, it’s fair to say, caused a certain degree of furore among politics types.
Contrary to some expectations, the figures could scarcely have been worse. Of 16 seats polled – 14 held by Labour and two Lib Dem – 15 would go to the SNP on staggering swings of over 20%. Labour’s Glasgow heartlands would be all but wiped out, with only Willie Bain in Glasgow North East barely clinging on.
The SNP will undoubtedly be cock-a-hoop, but will almost certainly also be feverishly warning activists that polls don’t win seats and reminding them of the party’s own spectacular recovery in the 2011 Holyrood election from what looked like disaster just a couple of months out from the vote.
Lord Ashcroft himself points out (as we did ourselves on Twitter last night) that the seats he polled were mainly in areas that voted Yes last year, and so may be unduly flattering the SNP. But it’s worth seeing them in context.
Remarkably, 26% of people planning to vote Labour in May, and an astounding 54% of likely Tory voters, say the SNP are the best guarantors of more powers, while 21% of Labour voters and 37% of Tories also answer “SNP” to the second question.
We wouldn’t want to be in Scottish Labour’s shoes if they were made of diamonds.
We pondered long and hard over how best to analyse Scottish Labour’s bewildering, oh-my-God-they’re-really-calling-it-that “Vow Plus” fiasco from yesterday, readers.
We contemplated noting the absurdity of Gordon Brown being its frontman when he’s not standing in May and won’t be in Parliament to deliver it. We considered a forensic deconstruction showing how it’s just the same old reheated, uncosted rubbish they’ve been waffling around for the past years.
(“Give Holyrood control of housing benefit, separating it out from the rest of the UK’s Universal Credit by mumble mumble! Increase pensions using the extra cash freed up by mumble mumble! Devolve workfare, which somehow magically ‘creates jobs’ by mumble mumble! Pretend we just said ‘1000 nurses’ all along, not the demented ‘1000 more than anything the SNP say’!”)
We thought about pointing out all the comical flapping the party’s done around its devolution proposals, presenting the weary and confused Scottish people with feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan after feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan – at least five different ones since 2009 – and resentfully upping the offer by the bare minimum they think they can get away with every time.
And we wondered if it was worth drawing attention to the fact that the latest effort is actually basically the Strathclyde Commission blueprint from the Conservatives with a red sticker hastily slapped on it.
But in the end, the truth is a lot simpler than that.
We haven’t done a monthly stats post for a few months, partly because naturally traffic’s been down after the insane spike of last September, partly because we had two weeks off in October (and a semi-break over Christmas and New Year), and partly because we’ve moved to new, more accurate and more detailed figures direct from our webhost and January was the first full month of them.
So here, for those of you who like to keep track, are the headlines:
We’re pretty blown away by that, to be honest. A tiny fraction shy of 300,000 unique readers (in what’s traditionally a very slow month for politics, and one we didn’t really start until the second week) is 157% up on a year ago, and nearly 50,000 higher than last May, which was the all-time high until the mad last few weeks of the referendum campaign. (It’s the 3rd-highest ever, after September and August 2014.)
If you’d told us we’d be anywhere near those sorts of numbers four months after a No vote (or indeed if we’d even still be going four months after a No vote), we’d have said you were missing a few marbles. But as long as you’re still here, we will be too*.
Since we’ve been talking about mad letters from Scottish Labour MPs today, we’re sharing this one with you too. We’ve been trying to make sense of it all evening.
We haven’t made any progress. It’s not just a simple accidental transposition of words, because if you switch “increased” and “decreased” around it’s still gibberish – why would the threat have decreased because of proliferation? If anyone can explain it, do drop us a line.
With a knife-edge general election just 90-odd days away, we must confess ourselves surprised at the sudden rash of candour/indiscipline (depending on how generously you want to frame it) that’s broken out in Scottish Labour.
It started soon after the referendum, when Edinburgh Labour chairman Trevor Davies felt confident enough, with the vote won, to announce on an officially-backed Labour website that his primary loyalty was to his party rather than to the people of Scotland, under the startlingly blunt headline “Labour first, Scottish second”.
But any notion that the comments represented nothing more than a vainglorious and momentary slip from a loose cannon were soon dispelled.
Hatey McHateface on The Guilty Party: “Alf Promise us you won’t change your mind post Indy when some exhilarating highly able exile returns to take your…” Jun 26, 09:09
James Che on The Guilty Party: “Willie, Thats what happens when we have a controlled pretendy Governance in Scotland from Westminsters Scotland Act, If anything, these…” Jun 26, 08:59
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I saw an army of weekend nationalists who would rather go to the pub than stick with the hard graft…” Jun 26, 08:56
Kate L on The Guilty Party: “That pile-on would be disgraceful in a knitting facebook group, let alone a professional forum for a political organisation. “hashtag…” Jun 26, 08:53
Hatey McHateface on The Guilty Party: “Short read please. Tell us the date of our Independence so we can plan. Chop. Chop!” Jun 26, 08:44
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “It’s fun to play the MI6 conspiracy hostile state actors colonialism buzz word bingo game occasionally. Take the likes of…” Jun 26, 08:42
Xaracen on The Guilty Party: “From www.decolonise.scot Scotland is a colony and the world now knows it This is a long read, but well worth…” Jun 26, 08:32
Slim Jim on The Guilty Party: “What a shower of shit.” Jun 26, 08:16
Dan on The Guilty Party: “Ah, jist checked and the “willie” I responded to had a capital W so maybe not yourself. But the premise…” Jun 26, 07:58
Dan on The Guilty Party: “I responded to your post on previous thread, seeing as you asked a question. A lot of folk spend too…” Jun 26, 07:48
Aidan on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “I expected you to have a full on tantrum and you didn’t disappoint, it’s a common reaction when you point…” Jun 26, 07:11
willie on The Guilty Party: “It doesn’t take much to disable a party. Under Salmond the SNP and the wider independence movement were motivated and…” Jun 26, 01:13
Young Lochinvar on The Guilty Party: “Rarely, for once, I agree with you. Don’t get over excited, you normally post anti Scots sh1te that I don’t..” Jun 26, 01:05
Steve A on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Indeed, it may not be possible to polish shite- but with a bit of ingenuity, it could be “gold plated”…” Jun 26, 00:58
Steve A on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Indeed, it is not possible to polish shite. But, with a bit of ingenuity, I am certain it would be…” Jun 26, 00:48
AdamH on The Guilty Party: “Good people. I beg you to watch the video in full. To hear two ordinary women who wanted to help…” Jun 26, 00:33
BLMac on The Guilty Party: “Don’t worry full exposure will happen shortly, but maybe not in the way you seek… https://www.awarenessdays.com/awareness-days-calendar/national-nude-day/” Jun 26, 00:12
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “AI Dun No clues are given to whose eyes yer trying to scratch out with that rant, but, in the…” Jun 26, 00:09
Young Lochinvar on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “HMcH HE’S back and projecting, deflecting and plain making things up “Smaug stylee”.. Yes it’s the bond of military brotherhood…” Jun 25, 23:32
Aidan on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Right, so you’re going to sit there, with a straight face, and tell us that you aren’t a ranting loon?…” Jun 25, 23:25
Alf Baird on The Guilty Party: “Fearghas’ logic follows the postcolonial reality, Hatey, where two main population shifts may be anticipated: 1. their privileges ended, the…” Jun 25, 22:45
Ian Smith on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “You can be 99.999% sure that there will never be a defamation case that puts Sturgeon in the witness box…” Jun 25, 22:16
Colin Dawson on The Guilty Party: “How many of those who attended that NEC meeting were elected as supposedly “Good Guys” at the 2020 conference and…” Jun 25, 22:12
Red on The Guilty Party: “I want my country back and I want these people gone.” Jun 25, 22:05
James Barr Gardner on The Guilty Party: “The Police did not interview me at all strange seeing as I was the only one who went public about…” Jun 25, 21:54
Hatey McHateface on The Guilty Party: “A rare departure from common sense for you, Fearghas. I won’t be exhilarated post Indy by a flood of chancers,…” Jun 25, 21:02
Hatey McHateface on Hey Lord Don’t Ask Me Questions: “Just noticed some odd posts from somebody who tells us he voluntarily signed up, first chance he got, to be…” Jun 25, 20:55
Hatey McHateface on The Guilty Party: “World Hijab Day. I’m beyond outraged that nae cant telt me.” Jun 25, 20:25
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Guilty Party: “One could fairly assume Scottish independence would have triggered the exhilarating return of very many highly able exiles – rather…” Jun 25, 20:22
agentx on The Guilty Party: “I have said it before and I will say it again:False accounts were submitted to the Electoral Commission. The Electoral…” Jun 25, 20:07