The votes for “God Save The Queen” being driven by Tories, English-born residents and supporters of a particular football club probably won’t come as the biggest shock in the world to anyone.
(Alert viewers will of course have noticed that due to MI5 INTERFERENCE in the poll, there were actually two votes for Hoots Mon, which have been suspiciously rounded down to one. We are conducting an investigation, by which we mean brutal purge.)
Just over three and a half years ago, we ran an article about how being an opposition MP or MSP is the cushiest gig in politics. You get all the pay, benefits, holidays and status, but you don’t have to actually do very much except whinge about how rubbish the government is, which most people are happy to do for free as a hobby.
Most of the time you don’t even need to turn up at your workplace.
(Sure, there are all your constituents to deal with, but if you’re not in power all that really amounts to is forwarding their letters to the government and demanding action.)
Tomorrow, the Holyrood opposition will give us a virtuoso demonstration.
WARNING: this post isn’t about football, but it will refer to football for quite a while in order to illustrate its point. Get over it or go outside for some fresh air.
Today is the opening day of the SPFL Premiership season, and will see the top-flight debut of a four-year-old club which is legally entitled under company law to use the name and trademarks of a much older one which went into liquidation in 2012 owing creditors tens of millions of pounds.
The facts of that matter are beyond any empirical dispute, but human beings are adept at arguing things which are demonstrably not true and so the truth is hotly and furiously rejected by a substantial group of people, weirdly including the club itself (even as it insists that it can’t be held responsible for the old club’s debts because it’s not the same club).
We’re not going to attempt to settle that argument here, because (a) it’s already been settled, and (b) we have nothing new to say that would remotely convince the people who’ve already steadfastly refused to acknowledge any of the proven facts.
Instead, we’re going to talk – not for the first time, sadly – about why the “debate” around “Rangers” won’t die, and what it tells us about the Scottish media.
I was born to be a Rangers supporter. I had no real choice in the matter. My father was a Ger, as was his father and his father’s father. I was accepted that as soon as I was old enough to be lifted over a turnstile I would attend Ibrox, faithfully.
From 1964 (aged 5) I worshipped at the shrine of Rangers for almost three decades. Fortunately for me, my father was the least bigoted man you could wish to meet. His religions were the trade unions and Rangers. Because he wasn’t bigoted our next-door neighbour and dad’s friend used to take me to Parkhead to watch Celtic too, which I found thrilling as I was convinced the “Tims” could see right through me.
This caused me a bit of confusion at school, because some of my family were “Tims”. In fact my favourite aunty was a convert to Catholicism and was as devout and decent a Catholic as you will ever meet. The conflation of football and religion was as normal as the smog-filled air we breathed. It just was what it was. You were either Proddy Ranger or Timmy Celtic. It wasn’t to be questioned.
Except my dad questioned it, loudly and often. He tried to explain the wrongs of the situation to me many times. I remember asking him why he still was a Rangers man if he disliked the whole Proddy/Tim thing that went with it.
“They’re my team, son. The morons can’t change that”, he told me.
On the rare occasions when this site discusses football, and in particular if we mention the three-year-old Championship club known as “Rangers”, we get complaints on two grounds: one, that football has nothing to do with politics, and two, that we risk alienating supporters of the club who also back independence, of which there are unquestionably a significant number.
The second complaint is one we’ve dealt with in detail here. But the first one is more important. Because whether you’re talking about the original club which died in 2012 and was put into liquidation or the new one currently challenging for promotion to the top division for the first time, “Rangers” is a totem of the Unionist establishment in Scotland, and the way it’s treated by the media tells us at least as much about that establishment and that media as any amount of political journalism.
Alert readers will probably already be familiar with the philosophical proposition of Schrödinger’s cat. (The less alert can click the link for a short and easy primer.) The hypothetical experiment posited by 20th-century Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger has entered into popular culture. But increasingly and disturbingly, it’s also becoming the guiding principle of mainstream media journalism.
Certain viewers should steel themselves at this point, because we’re about to briefly talk about football before moving on to other things later in the article. You can consider that your trigger warning. We’ll let you know when it’s over.
The lines above were issued to the press yesterday by The Rangers International Football Club plc, a football club (the clue’s in the name) formed in 2012, yet which lays claim to the history and achievements of a previous club of a similar name which was liquidated for bankruptcy the same year, having been formed in 1872.
And eagle-eyed logic fans may have spotted something of a contradiction.
There’s an extraordinary article in the Daily Record today. Here’s a bit of it:
Alert readers might feel that a few lines have gone missing somewhere between paragraphs four and five. And the fact that they have has nothing to do with dead football clubs, and everything to do with the dying Scottish media.
twathater on Holiday Relief: “One of the reasons I vehemently support direct democracy is the inclusion of a formation of a citizens assembly group…” Jun 22, 03:22
twathater on Holiday Relief: “Re “Nothing Going On In Scotland”exposed by ISP I find it eye watering the amount of money given to private…” Jun 22, 02:58
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Knuckle draggers is my insult, Bips. If you intend to try to gatecrash the smart set on Wings BTL, put…” Jun 22, 00:36
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Breaking new ground there, Xaracen, big respect. We are fully entitled to bring the Union to an end and we…” Jun 22, 00:31
Breastplate on Holiday Relief: “Agent x, It does not follow that Turabdin is talking nonsense because you don’t understand what he is saying. You’ve…” Jun 21, 23:28
Xaracen on Holiday Relief: “The point, Hatey, is the one that I made perfectly clearly, but which you and others relentlessly overlook and never…” Jun 21, 21:54
Neil Singleton on Holiday Relief: “Ar what cost (millions) to pander to the less than 1% Gaelic speakers. More speak Klingon than Gaelic in Scotland.” Jun 21, 20:50
Neil Singleton on Holiday Relief: “Plea deal for Murrell done and dusted (all to keep Saint Nic out of jail). He will pleaded guilty and…” Jun 21, 20:26
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “So what does it mean, Xaracen, every time you conform with a law fraudulently and criminally passed by WM? Or…” Jun 21, 20:17
Xaracen on Holiday Relief: “What do you mean “so what”? It’s an ongoing constitutional and democratic crime, Andy, that’s what; an illegal exertion of…” Jun 21, 19:54
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “True democracies are only possible with a mono cultural demos. It is only with a shared outlook that all citizens…” Jun 21, 19:54
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “The world is divided between those who live and those who think about living. «Systems» much prefer the latter, so…” Jun 21, 19:22
Hatey McHateface on Holiday Relief: “Evidence, perhaps, of the fallacy of UDI. It’s a big unfriendly world out there! Discuss 🙂” Jun 21, 19:00
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “Oh for god’s sake «None of the Above»….okay?” Jun 21, 18:39
agent x on Holiday Relief: “So basically you have no idea what you are talking about and no answer to my simple questions. Who will…” Jun 21, 18:00
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “It is questionable which country at the moment will break out first, It may not be Scotland, the people have…” Jun 21, 17:46
James Cheyne on Holiday Relief: “And who will in charge of Ireland or Wales and come to think of it, who will be in charge…” Jun 21, 17:40
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “@ agent x Being less «conventional», one might endeavour to think outside the strictures of the westminster/parliamentary box. Democracy, which…” Jun 21, 17:33
agent x on Holiday Relief: “I have no idea what your reply means. Who will be the President of the Democratic Republic of Scotland (DROS)?…” Jun 21, 17:03
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “So what? The actions of people who fashioned the Treaties 300 years ago have SFA to do with our proximate…” Jun 21, 17:02
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “SUCH a scenario would be a critical test of how democratic a Scottish state would be. Democracy MAX, would be…” Jun 21, 16:45
Chas on Holiday Relief: “Link posted for the 792nd time. Only 208 to go before the magic number. This will probably be achieved in…” Jun 21, 16:28
Chas on Holiday Relief: “I wonder how long it took you to write that drivel? On the plus side, Alfie boy will be pleased.…” Jun 21, 16:21
Xaracen on Holiday Relief: “It’s called sovereignty, Andy, and neither party to the Treaty gave their sovereignty up, or agreed to subordinate their sovereignty…” Jun 21, 16:07
agent x on Holiday Relief: “Once the UN declare that Scotland should be Independent and UDI is declared, who will form the Scottish Government?” Jun 21, 16:00
Captain Caveman on Holiday Relief: “Indeed Andy. It’s like they’re all trying to outdo each other in the stupidity stakes; one ever more idiotic claim…” Jun 21, 15:56
TURABDIN on Holiday Relief: “ANY system which creates a psychological dependency might be termed a species of «slavery». In the contemporary world whips and…” Jun 21, 15:40
Insider on Holiday Relief: “Codeman! Perhaps you and “puir auld alf ” should get a cave together somewhere ! Just think ! You could…” Jun 21, 14:47
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “@xaracen Where does it say in the Treaties of Union that Scots MPs could overturn the decisions of the whole…” Jun 21, 14:43
Andy Ellis on Holiday Relief: “I’m afraid for the hard of thinking such hyperbole is de rigeur. See also Ms Goldberg and her recent false…” Jun 21, 14:31
