When we suggested yesterday that the SNP was turning into New Labour, we didn’t expect them to go to quite so much trouble to provide us with a timely illustration.
In happier times, almost seven years ago, a united and focused Yes movement had a bit of fun at the expense of Labour MP Ian Murray when he had a huge pearl-clutching fainting fit over someone putting a couple of stickers on his constituency office.
It brings us genuinely no pleasure at all to report that events in Scottish politics are panning out exactly the way we’ve been telling you they would for nearly two years.
There’s a strange new affliction affecting the SNP: fear of figures.
Now, we should say that we don’t believe for even a second that the SNP has actually had 10,000 new members in the last two days. It’s ridiculous to the point of insulting. But purely for the sake of argument, let’s imagine it was true.
Like an old man getting up for the fourth time in the middle of the night, the Scottish Government has squeezed out another little dribble of its legal advice in respect of the conduct of its shambolic investigation into false allegations against Alex Salmond.
And to push that gross analogy to its outermost limit, it must have found releasing one of the documents in particular as painful as passing a rather large kidney stone.
What puzzles many about the Alex Salmond situation is motive. It’s incredibly difficult for some Yes supporters to imagine any motive that could justify the awfulness of what Alex Salmond has been put through by his successor, and so they reject the whole idea of any sinister goings-on out of hand.
However, it’s far easier to understand what went on when you look at the personality of Nicola Sturgeon and her historical pattern of behaviour.
Because the core fact is that Sturgeon simply cannot bear to lose. She’s very single-minded, and doesn’t really adapt or regroup in the face of adversity. When events and new information make problems for her ideas and plans, she just keeps going – often creating more problems as she tries to force the plan back on track.
Sturgeon’s main priority – in common with most politicians – is to stay in power and to boost her own image and profile. We can look at some hot topics and her behaviour around them, and gain clear insights into what happened to Alex Salmond and why.
We’re only two-thirds of the way through Nicola Sturgeon’s evidence to the Fabiani inquiry, and there’s probably not much point in expressing our opinion on it because you could almost certainly have guessed what it was going to be. The First Minister has been disingenuous, evasive, defensive and at times outright dishonest.
But although we were expecting all of that, this truly shocked us:
That’s the First Minister flatly stating, under oath, that even now she doesn’t know who all the complainers are. And readers can make their own minds up about how credible a claim that is. But I can tell you this:
I know who they all are.
Craig Murray knows who they all are.
Every journalist who covered the trial knows who they all are.
(And we can reasonably assume their editors also know who they all are.)
In fact pretty much everyone who’s in any way connected to Scottish politics knows the identity of every single one of these women. If you’re willing to believe that we all do but Nicola Sturgeon doesn’t, well, fair enough. But also, I’m a Nigerian prince and I’d like to pass several million pounds through your bank account. Please get in touch.
Yesterday’s evidence session at the Fabiani inquiry had several standout moments, but by a narrow margin this was our favourite.
And just in case you were wondering, yes, that IS Scotland’s top prosecutor, the Lord Advocate, chief of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service, James Wolffe QC, repeatedly refusing to tell an MSP whether or not it’s a criminal offence in Scotland to refuse to comply with a court-ordered search warrant.
So next time you’ve ramraided a load of iPads and the polis come knocking on your door asking if they can have a nosy around your attic for them, just tell them they can’t come in because it’s a matter of your motivations.
We’ll say one thing for Police Scotland – when it comes to Freedom Of Information requests, dealing with them compared to the Scottish Government or Crown Office is a breath of fresh air. Responses tend to be reasonably swift and you actually get some straight answers, like these.
And in this case they’re pretty remarkable answers.
We’re just watching today’s session of the Fabiani inquiry, featuring the Lord Advocate, the Crown Agent and the Principal Crown Counsel. There’s been an extremely long preamble from both Fabiani and James Wolffe mainly concerned with the anonymity order passed by Lady Dorrian during (not before) Alex Salmond’s trial, which is the foundation stone of everything crooked that’s happened around the Salmond case.
The order – and for clarity we make no suggestion whatsoever that this was its intent – is the basis for every piece of evidence that’s been suppressed in the inquiry, and for the prosecutions of Mark Hirst, Craig Murray and others, and also for the threats of prosecution issued to this site, The Spectator and to Alex Salmond himself, preventing him giving his evidence in full to the inquiry.
And we couldn’t help wondering how different things would have been, how much less damage would have been done to the integrity and credibility of the entire Scottish political and legal establishment, if it hadn’t been for this guy.
(Doleman was not prosecuted for actually naming one of the women, although Craig Murray still awaits a verdict, five weeks after his trial, which could see him imprisoned for up to two years for merely allegedly hinting at their identities.)
Without the order, it would have been perfectly lawful for people to discuss the names of the complainers – whose allegations the jury found to be false – after the trial. It would have been possible for people to know, and form an opinion based on, who they were and who they were connected to and what the “plan” they were “mulling” was.
But because it isn’t, Scotland has been turned into a laughing stock – a byword for ham-fisted corruption and malice – the independence movement has been torn in two, and the Scottish Government itself may yet collapse.
So, y’know, thanks for all of that, James. Great job.
Iain Lawson’s fine blog today reveals that Nicola Sturgeon has already taken it upon herself to answer Jim Sillars’ complaint from Thursday – which was sent to Permanent Secretary Leslie Evans, not to the First Minister – about her breaking the Ministerial Code by casting doubt on the jury’s verdicts in the Alex Salmond trial.
It’s certainly an innovative approach to justice – we presume that if we were to murder someone tomorrow the police would now simply forward the allegations to us and allow us to find ourselves not guilty without any external input.
But it was the precise nature of Nicola Sturgeon’s self-acquittal that really left us with an uneasy feeling about the current state of Scotland.
From 12.30 this afternoon, Alex Salmond will attempt to tell the people of Scotland the truth about what happened to him in the last two years – a grave injustice which saw an innocent man have his reputation dragged through the gutter, be placed under incredible personal stress, be left greatly impoverished by proving his innocence, and then have the jury’s verdict endlessly traduced by the media and a gang of criminal conspirators protected from the consequences of their lies by lifelong anonymity.
His job will be a difficult one. Every single person in the room will be bitterly hostile to him – the four Unionist committee members because he’s Alex Salmond, and the others because he represents a deadly threat to the First Minister.
The inquiry’s convener – a woman sacked by Salmond years ago – will attempt to prevent him from presenting large swathes of evidence, despite having made him swear to tell “the whole truth”. The SNP members will try to run down the four-hour session with questions designed to only deflect from the real issue – the actions and behaviour of the Scottish Government. Andy Wightman will probably just cry.
We’ll be extremely surprised if there aren’t some attempts to slyly re-try Mr Salmond and paint him as a guilty man who cheated justice, and to drag up salacious details of the allegations in an effort to smear him in front of the cameras.
We believe Alex Salmond will be more than equal to the task.
TimePilot on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Police Scotland’s response to FOI requests within the 20 working days timescale is abysmal. I might submit a FOI to…” Sep 17, 09:16
James Che on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “I surmise that the SNP have also dedicated themselves to the people/ subjects within Scotland as they are a Scottish…” Sep 17, 09:13
James Che on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Do the Subjects within Scotland pay out of….their private incomes within Scotland for the Police or Crown offices in Scotland.…” Sep 17, 08:57
James Che on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Stu, The Law Society of Scotland, 2007. Article XV 111 private Rights. Which is unalterable by the parliament of Great…” Sep 17, 08:38
Willie on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Maybe Big John Swinney, assuming he’s not in pokey too, could have his old mucker Murrell back in post helping…” Sep 17, 08:37
Captain Caveman on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Multiple posters take the time and trouble to objectively, politely, patiently and provably show that Alf Baird is plain wrong…” Sep 17, 08:24
Spartan 117 on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “I see some firey Greek madam absolutely tore Empress VDL a new ring in the EU Talking Shop, sans lube.…” Sep 17, 08:09
James Che on Fear And Favour: “Aidan, The dates that I have provided are facts, They are information, The facts are from Westminster parliament own site.…” Sep 17, 07:46
Aidan on Like Responsible Citizens Do: ““General Assembly resolution 1514 (XV) Declaration on the Granting of Independence to Colonial Countries and Peoples” General Assembly resolutions are…” Sep 17, 06:07
PhilM on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “I see now why I was confused. I read ‘taking a punt’ as metaphorical and the person taking a punt…” Sep 16, 22:13
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “‘POWER, CORRUPTION & LIES’ Bit of research on article title ‘A THOUSAND ISLANDS IN THE SEA’. Line from ‘Leave Me…” Sep 16, 21:59
Hatey McHateface on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “@ Alf Baird says: 16 September, 2026 at 7:34 pm I responded to your post with a cut and paste…” Sep 16, 21:57
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Because in the hypothetical, decent, respectable, law abiding Scotland, the idea that Murrell will be out of prison, while the…” Sep 16, 21:46
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Slightly off topic perhaps, but as Murrell was sentenced to a bit over 5 years, how long will he actually…” Sep 16, 20:17
Alf Baird on Like Responsible Citizens Do: ““the framework that actually exists”, irrespective of UN reform: General Assembly resolution 1514 (XV) Declaration on the Granting of Independence…” Sep 16, 19:44
Alf Baird on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Why always so negative Hatey, anyone would think you were against Scottish independence/decolonization, such is your haste to dismiss even…” Sep 16, 19:34
Aidan on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Actually, what Northcode said is that these are facts, and not subjective viewpoints, and Northcode is right about that. I…” Sep 16, 19:32
Northcode on Like Responsible Citizens Do: ““As you imply, these are largely your subjective viewpoints.” I think you may have misunderstood the nature of the points…” Sep 16, 19:15
Hatey McHateface on Like Responsible Citizens Do: ““Hence a major restructuring of the UN is expected” If so, nobody’s writing about it in the news feeds I…” Sep 16, 18:59
Hatey McHateface on Fear And Favour: ““you just slink away” Odd, Confused, other regulars like to accuse me of being here 24/7. “if I could be…” Sep 16, 18:56
Alf Baird on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “As you imply, these are largely your subjective viewpoints, which as one can see lack definitive sources. They also assume…” Sep 16, 18:42
Aidan on Like Responsible Citizens Do: “Yes absolutely – within the current framework of international law there is no route to Scotland being designated as an…” Sep 16, 18:29
BH on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Did they say ‘It would not be in the public interest to know we’re corrupt as that might make policing…” Sep 16, 18:09
robertkknight on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “I recon 75% of the Wee Ginger Fud brigade have no idea what day of the week it is and…” Sep 16, 17:34
Cynicus on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: ““ We’re getting so much correspondence from Police Scotland at the moment that we’re starting to feel like their guiltily-neglected…” Sep 16, 17:07
Arthur Martin on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Many thanks for not taking no for an answer Stuart. It feels to me that your determination and tenacity in…” Sep 16, 17:02
