It doesn’t take a master analyst to see that the Salmond inquiry committee is running out of patience with the Scottish Government’s endless attempts to obstruct its work.
This afternoon it issued a statement, with obvious irritation, making clear that it did not wish to see documents the Scottish Government was trying to submit to it, which the committee had not asked for, and which had previously been struck down as unlawful by Lord Pentland in the initial judicial inquiry.
The Scottish Government’s only purpose in doing so was to try to put the details of the discredited and disproven-in-court allegations into the public domain with the intention of smearing Mr Salmond yet again, and the committee has made its displeasure with the plan clear, telling the Scottish Government to abandon its intended legal action to release the documents and get on with producing the ones the inquiry HAS asked for.
But there’s a little bit more to the story than that.
We’re grumpy this morning, readers, because it’s Sunday and we were planning a long lie and then someone told us about this. It’s the First Minister appearing on the Sophy Ridge show on Sky News at around 8.45am and you need to see it.
Back in the 1980s there was a hit game for the ZX Spectrum home computer called Worse Things Happen At Sea. In it you play a robot whose job is to get a heavily-laden cargo ship safely to port, except that more and more disasters keep befalling it.
It springs leaks, it veers off course, the engine overheats and the robot’s power runs down, until eventually the catalogue of catastrophes overwhelms the harassed metallic custodian and the boat slides down into the murky depths.
We wonder if that feels familiar to anyone at the moment.
On 23rd March this year, after Alex Salmond was found not guilty of 13 criminal charges in the High Court, I called on the Scottish Government to set up a judge-led inquiry into the allegation that he had been the subject of a conspiracy involving the Scottish Government, which resulted in him being accused of criminal behaviour.
Readers, we can’t tell you how much we want to get back to just dissecting Scotland’s hopeless Unionist media for a living. It’s a lot more fun than what the current political circumstances are obliging us to do, so you can hardly imagine our excitement when we spotted what looked like an open goal in yesterday’s Mail On Sunday.
Our ears pricked up immediately at the sight of the words “up to”, which is invariably a sign of dodgy doings on the way, and so it proved. The article contained no solid data at all about the size of Scottish Government special advisers’ pay rises, only how many SpAds there were and which general pay bands they were in, each of which spans a wide range of between £14,000 and £23,000.
But while the Mail had spooned the sitter six feet over the crossbar – because the crude spin they’d put on it was total rubbish – there was still a loose ball just waiting to be knocked into the back of the net.
SNP Members For Independence? What a ridiculous phrase – surely every member of the SNP is in favour of independence, right?
That’s mostly true of course, but the leadership and many elected representatives of the party appear to be intent on repeating the failed Section 30 route to independence, and also on restricting serious debate about alternative strategies.
It seems that a revised “Plan B” may be discussed at the party conference, still almost two months away, and for all Plan B’s merits it is seriously flawed and its inclusion at the expense of alternative and better plans at conference would merely pay lip service to the term “serious debate”
Something clearly needed to be done, which is why SNP Members For Indy has been set up. So what’s it for and what is it trying to do?
We’re very busy today writing more FOI requests and the like, so we’ll just take a brief moment here to note that hiring super-expensive lawyers to object to the questions you’re being asked DEFINITELY sounds like the behaviour of people who are keen to co-operate fully and in the most transparent way possible with an inquiry:
Having been privileged to serve as SNP National Treasurer, I’m aware of the duties that go with the post. Of course, it’s changed in some ways since then due to the scale of the party, the resources available and even technology. The days are long gone when Joan Knott, who has sadly since passed away, required to take a taxi down to my legal office to have cheques signed between court or clients.
But some things still remain fundamental, and in particular providing annual accounts for the party. That has been done for 2019, in the administrative sense, but what’s missing is their publication and provision either to the NEC or the party more widely.
For sure there’s been no conference but there are other bodies and other ways of making them available to party members. At NEC, conference and indeed anywhere else, members were entitled to see them and question me. It was their right to see them, and it remains so now. So why haven’t they seen them?
A column on a Sturgeon-loyalist indy website that we read yesterday has been mildly annoying us ever since, and in the interests of open debate (but mainly because it’s cold and grey and rainy outside and we can’t go out and feed the swans) we thought it was worth taking half an hour to walk through it a little and explain just why it’s such a dangerous piece of fantasy nonsense.
But first here’s one of said swans. She’s about five months old and her adult feathers are just starting to come through. Isn’t she lovely?
In case things get a bit rough later we’ve got some squirrels and a really fat dachshund as emergency backup, so buckle in.
The comments from committee convener and SNP MP Linda Fabiani (we guess she must be another of those MI5 plants/secret Unionists) are really quite extraordinary. In terms of Parliamentary language they’re only a hair’s-breadth short of an invitation to step outside and settle things with an old-school dust-up in the car park.
Hatey McHateface on Strike One: “Puir auld Northy. Doomed to be forever trying, and failing, to fathom out the alien, imposed values of the oppressive,…” Dec 12, 18:08
Northcode on Strike One: ““Anally obsessed” … I think I might adopt that as my new term to describe the arseholes who wander aboot…” Dec 12, 18:06
Hatey McHateface on How Far To Go, How Far: “Exactly as predicted by (checks notes) Fanon, Mark. Of course, fascism is seemingly on the rise in the Good Ol’…” Dec 12, 17:58
Northcode on Strike One: “Thanks, Captain. Your words of comfort and your kindness in sharing them will be remembered come the revolution… when us…” Dec 12, 17:55
Hatey McHateface on Strike One: “Careful, Alf. It looks like AI slop is finding its way into your posts as well.” Dec 12, 17:48
Hatey McHateface on How Far To Go, How Far: ““Scotland’s justice system has always fiercely defended its independence from political interference”. More shite from the Record. It’s as if…” Dec 12, 17:42
Alf Baird on How Far To Go, How Far: ““We know from Wings passim that Scotland in 2025 is a country where pretty much nobody is actually responsible or…” Dec 12, 17:42
Mark Beggan on How Far To Go, How Far: “Reform win first Scottish by-election. Fascism is on the he rise.” Dec 12, 17:40
Northcode on Strike One: “What makes you think Jay was talking about you? You aren’t mentioned at all. You’re so vain I bet you…” Dec 12, 17:38
Dan on Strike One: “Aye, but a trans woman (Oh fuck this pandering to the delusion) bloke with a degree of masochistic tendencies might…” Dec 12, 17:30
Hatey McHateface on Strike One: “Bacofoil and wardrobes. The enforced alien accoutrements of the coloniser, willingly adopted by no true Sovereign Scot. A bit like…” Dec 12, 17:30
Alf Baird on Strike One: “‘canna’ ser twa maisters” Dec 12, 17:27
Hatey McHateface on Strike One: ““Anally obsessed” says Jay, following on in the footsteps of Northy. As the other boy used to say, every accusation…” Dec 12, 17:22
PC Foster on Strike One: “Dr Upton aired some of his medical beliefs during this tribunal that demonstrate that he is clearly not fit to…” Dec 12, 16:55
Alf Baird on Strike One: ““The Scottish judges sit under the Crown of England, not the Crown of Scotland” This appears as an inevitable reality…” Dec 12, 16:15
Michael P on How Far To Go, How Far: “Breathtaking – that Tribunal Judge has written himself into a whole world of trouble. It is a real concern that…” Dec 12, 15:44
100%Yes on How Far To Go, How Far: “My understanding is you can only make an appeal if you have a point of law. The judge might have…” Dec 12, 15:44
Rev. Stuart Campbell on How Far To Go, How Far: “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN” Dec 12, 15:42
100%Yes on How Far To Go, How Far: “I honestly would love to see other women and organizations put their weight behind her appeal. This needs sort and…” Dec 12, 15:38
AdamH on How Far To Go, How Far: “I don’t know which is more unbelievable 1) That a judgement could contain so many errors 2) That even if…” Dec 12, 15:24
Stuart MacKay on How Far To Go, How Far: “The whole thing reeks of AI slop. You’d have to be especially retarded to write “Not For Gays” – good…” Dec 12, 15:20
holymacmoses on How Far To Go, How Far: “Make sure you’re credited for all this research and analysis Mr Wings. The judgement was bizarre if not cynical in…” Dec 12, 15:19
DaveL on How Far To Go, How Far: “‘The laws an ass’, that’ll be regarded as a top notch compliment now.” Dec 12, 15:13
Terry on How Far To Go, How Far: “You have two Problem 3’s. Best not to have errors when criticising the errors of others. Anyway, keep up the…” Dec 12, 15:13
Gordon Bain on How Far To Go, How Far: “Utterly shameful! It’s also interesting that even the Record can’t use English properly. “nurse Sandie”? FFS! Nurse Peggie, surely. As…” Dec 12, 15:09
Stu on How Far To Go, How Far: “I mean, I’m sure no actual judge would do the following, so I’m talking about a hypothetical judge in a…” Dec 12, 15:08
Captain Caveman on Strike One: “I am the bearer of good news, Northy: No one is trying to kill you – or your imaginary Pictish…” Dec 12, 14:34
Jay on How Far To Go, How Far: “What, if any, provisions exist for public funding of Mrs. Peggie’s costs? Will we see the day when a Judge…” Dec 12, 14:12