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Deja news 116

Posted on June 22, 2018 by

Oh joy, it seems it’s time for the Scottish media’s annual cretinous non-story about the Scottish Government’s (entirely necessary and intrinsically unavoidable“underspend”.

So as we’re busy today we’ll just refer you to some of the previous occasions we’ve covered it, because literally everything about it is exactly the same now as it was then.

See you same time next year, folks!

The Day Before Tomorrow Today 31

Posted on June 20, 2018 by

They’re back to save us all.

Wait, correction, that should read: they’re back – God save us all.

The shifting sands 100

Posted on June 16, 2018 by

Return Of The Great Intervener 114

Posted on June 15, 2018 by

Goodness, are the Unionists THAT nervous already?

The bonehead parade 186

Posted on June 15, 2018 by

We’re seriously starting to think there’s some sort of competition going on among the Unionist parties of Scotland to see who’s the thickest. We’ve spent quite a bit of time pointing out the scarcely-believable dimness of the Scottish Conservative benches, but this week Scottish Labour really pulled out the stops to try to seize back the initiative.

As a warm-up act they came out swinging with one of their big hitters (which for taste reasons we’ve expressed as rhyming slang) in the form of our dear old pal and former Edinburgh South CLP chair Duncan Hothersall – last seen attacking a six-year-old girl for selling 50p cups of lemonade to thirsty festivalgoers – who impressively contrived to badly lose an argument with a bridge.

But hilarious as that was, it wasn’t the high point by a distance.

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We might take a holiday 220

Posted on June 14, 2018 by

Because the World Cup starts today, and with these guys doing our job for us, we’re not really sure we need to be here.

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The Whimper 153

Posted on June 13, 2018 by

Let there be no mistake about what just happened. Last night, Scottish devolution – an institution 111 years in the promising, just 19 years a reality – died. Iain Macwhirter summed it up concisely and accurately.

And it didn’t even go down fighting.

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Joke’s on you, suckers 161

Posted on June 12, 2018 by

A little over five years ago.

Strengthen, destroy, what’s a little slip of the tongue between friends?

The Buckaroo Principle 432

Posted on June 10, 2018 by

It’s probably fair to say that the voters of Scotland have been feeling a little put-upon lately. In the last decade they’ve been sent to polling stations on no fewer than 12 occasions (Holyrood elections in 2011 and 2016, UK elections in 2010, 2015 and 2017, council elections in 2012 and 2017, European elections in 2009 and 2014, and finally referendums on AV, independence and the EU).

And they’ve been subjected to endless weeks, months or even years of campaigning and haranguing each time. One woman – who only had to endure nine of those 12 – had famously had enough of it.

Yet Scots face possibly three more in the next 12 months or so, if various factions get their way, taking the total to 15 major votes in a decade. And if we want to secure the desired outcome in any of them, we’re going to have to ease the load on folk a bit.

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Blazing and addled 156

Posted on June 09, 2018 by

Logic in reverse 134

Posted on June 07, 2018 by

We’re having a lot of trouble with this one, to be honest.

The Record, along with Scottish Labour and a lot of the left of social media, are up in arms that a mystery benefactor has donated a £230,000 Rolls Royce to Glasgow City Council for the use of the Lord Provost. But nobody can quite manage to explain why they’re so angry about it.

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That Went Well Department 207

Posted on June 05, 2018 by

November 2009: “at the end of the day the banks will be paying money to the British people and not the other way round”.

Shall we take a look through the arched-eyebrows window, readers?

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    • sam on Shield Of The Phantom: “There was frequent contact between the Gaels and the Picts. The Gaels brought Christianity from Ireland into the west of…Jan 30, 13:46
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    • Southernbystander on Shield Of The Phantom: “Both Sun Ra and Karlheinz Stockhausen said they were from Sirius, so the Picts hailing from somewhere in the Andromeda…Jan 30, 13:08
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    • James Cheyne on Shield Of The Phantom: “A Treaty is a formal agreement legally binding between two or more Sovereign States, Treaties are roughly Contracts, All treaties…Jan 30, 12:11
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