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The joy of faith 81

Posted on August 19, 2015 by

Here’s John “there will be no referendum” McTernan in today’s Guardian:

mcternanindyref2

So there’s definitely going to be a second referendum, the No campaign is going to win it again and a shattered SNP will collapse as a result, sending Labour triumphantly back to Holyrood power. (Having now come out on top in not one but two internal elections, presumably Kezia Dugdale is now also a “proven winner”.)

It’s just that we feel like we’ve heard that before somewhere.

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The geography of news 184

Posted on August 18, 2015 by

An update, then: as we write, our anti-poverty fundraiser (which set out to gather just £500 for a young woman in Kidderminster fined almost £330 for stealing a 75p pack of Mars bars out of desperate hunger after her benefits were sanctioned) stands at a phenomenal £14,395.

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A fresh start 92

Posted on August 17, 2015 by

Face, meet palm.

0years

This spoon-faced howler was pointed out mirthfully by vile cybernats days ago, but we suspect that the person at Scottish Labour who knows how to work the internets only comes in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It’s going to be a long road back.

The suicide note 220

Posted on August 16, 2015 by

Earlier today Gordon Brown gave a speech in London, on a subject and for reasons which are unclear. It was widely trailed in the press, however, as an intervention in the Labour leadership campaign, with the particular goal of stopping Jeremy Corbyn from winning. It was – naturally – broadcast live and in full by the BBC News channel.

Corbyn wasn’t mentioned by name so far as we noticed, but to tell the truth we drifted in and out of the rambling, 49-minute, 30-page monologue full of celebrity namedrops and unconnected anecdotes, hypnotised as we were by Brown’s relentless pacing up and down the room like a caged animal.

Nobody who isn’t getting paid should have to endure the entire grimness of it, so using the magic of technology we’ve compressed it all down to a mere fraction of its length (just 20%) for you, but without losing any of the tone, content or intellectual nuance.

We offer it to you as an elegy. It marks the day that Labour reanimated the walking corpse of the only person left in the party that it considers to have any gravitas – not to win an election, but to try to crush the first man in living memory to enthuse tens of thousands of new members to join a political party in the hope of restoring the values it was created to uphold.

It is the day the soul of the Labour Party finally died.

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The empty cupboard 93

Posted on August 16, 2015 by

Here’s former Scottish Labour MP Tom Harris in today’s Sunday Times:

“The toughest job for an opposition leader is to get people’s attention and Kez will make a good job of that. She is different from what you’d normally expect.

But the only thing that would make people give Labour a second glance at the moment is offering something that I am absolutely opposed to, and that is independence. The only way we can attract voters back is by offering them what they want and that is independence.”

Wait, what now?

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The baggage of the past 179

Posted on August 15, 2015 by

Reporting on the election of Kezia Dugdale as Scottish Labour’s sixth leader in eight years, the BBC quotes her as saying “We are changing. I am part of a new generation. Someone without the baggage of the past”.

dugdalebaggage

Keen followers of First Minister’s Questions will doubtless be excited to witness the weekly jousts, as the dynamic new regime of Kezia Dugdale sweeps out the tired old broom of Labour’s previous FMQs inquisitor, er, Kezia Dugdale.

Curiously, while the BBC was present and broadcasting live at the announcement of the new leader and deputy, neither’s acceptance speech was broadcast on TV, radio or online, which may well have surprised viewers and listeners who’ve become used to 50-minute prime-time Gordon Brown “intervention” specials.

In Dugdale’s case, our best guess is that the BBC didn’t want to have to fact-check it.

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The people, the idiots 315

Posted on August 14, 2015 by

There’s another rather bizarre Kenny Farquharson column in today’s Times. Under the headline “Holyrood wasn’t built for a one-party state”, it asserts that “the Scottish Parliament is no longer fit for purpose” on the grounds that the opposition parties are useless, as if that were the fault of the electoral system rather than their leaders.

farqtimes1

After that, though, it just gets flat-out insulting.

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Beyond endurance 179

Posted on August 13, 2015 by

The papers these days are full of horrendous stories. For some reason this one just tripped a nerve, and we wanted to do something. Click here for details.

This is what Scottish business looks like 113

Posted on August 13, 2015 by

According to the Telegraph.

scotbiz

We’re not sure which one’s Michelle Mone.

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Sticks and stones 198

Posted on August 12, 2015 by

This debate between John “Mental Mad” McTernan and Owen Jones from the BBC News channel this morning doesn’t need a lot of commentary from us, to be honest.

It’s like watching someone try to reason with voicemail.

Looking back with less anger 131

Posted on August 12, 2015 by

Here’s Michelle Mone on last night’s Channel 4 News:

When presenter Matt Frei sympathetically puts to her that she left Scotland because she was being “given a very very hard time” by Yes/SNP supporters, Mone denies it, saying “I didn’t actually leave, that wasn’t the main reason to have left Scotland”.

So where could Frei have come by such a misapprehension?

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We have taken this out of context 61

Posted on August 11, 2015 by

But you have to admit it has a ring of truth about it.

(From tonight’s Scotland 2015.)

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    • Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “I’m sure there is a message somewhere within that barely legible blether. Doubt it’s worth spending any time working out…” Nov 4, 13:29
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Surely the donors should be notified and be able to claim their money?” Like the donors to the ring-fenced Referendum…” Nov 4, 12:53
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