In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
twathater on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “I received an email from CHAS , Childrens Hospice Appeal SCOTLAND from their Chief Executive Rami Okasha stating , “I…” Oct 1, 02:18
BLMac on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “No doubt the result of any enquiry (it may just be another carrot for the remaining gullible SNP members) will…” Sep 30, 23:16
charlie on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Time to start kicking the can down the road, slowly and judicially with only the public paying.” Sep 30, 22:38
Hatey McHateface on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “@ am firinn says:30 September, 2026 at 8:58 pm “Exactly what legislature do you think passed the Scotland Act 1998?”…” Sep 30, 21:32
am firinn on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Exactly what legislature do you think passed the Scotland Act 1998?” Sep 30, 20:58
am firinn on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Remind me what institutions “Scotland” had to raise against these sections in 1998?” Sep 30, 20:57
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Apologies to Mark Beggan. I was 2 minutes later than you.” Sep 30, 20:05
agentx on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Adopting Alternative International Frameworks The review is explicitly tasked with examining alternative Law Officer models used in other jurisdictions. The…” Sep 30, 19:57
Hatey McHateface on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “And he’s back. And he’s put the cracked record on again. Readers new to this saga might not know that…” Sep 30, 19:37
Ross on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Playing devil’s advocate… Who will the Lord Advocate be accountable to if not the Govt? The Parliament?” Sep 30, 19:34
Hatey McHateface on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “When required to register for the daily attendance allowance. Just like in the HoL.” Sep 30, 19:07
Hatey McHateface on Whatever Can Have Happened?: ““This really is a “made in England” problem” Of course it is. How many times must we be told? Scotland…” Sep 30, 19:05
Alf Baird on Whatever Can Have Happened?: ““which is what puts the Lord Advocate above the law” Indeed, which also tells us that it is not the…” Sep 30, 19:04
agentx on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “No major institutional or governmental objection was raised by Scotland against section 44(1)(c) of the Scotland Act 1998, which makes…” Sep 30, 18:36
am firinn on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “It’s all very well the Scottish Government consulting on this. However, s44(1)(c) of the Scotland Act 1998, which establishes that…” Sep 30, 18:01
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “« They will attend meetings of the Scottish Government cabinet only when required. »” Sep 30, 17:39
Mark Beggan on Whatever Can Have Happened?: ““…only when required..” Required for what? Not that we don’t trust a word they say.” Sep 30, 17:37
Spartan 117 on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Hmm. To quote Mr. Spock, “Fascinating”. Entirely disconnected to certain recent going on, I’m sure.” Sep 30, 17:18
robertkknight on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Must be an election in a couple of days and our rancid SNP Government needs to appear, I stress appear,…” Sep 30, 16:18
Hatey McHateface on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “As a matter of fact, Andy, Memmi predicted exactly this in one of his publications. But I’m not telling you…” Sep 30, 15:45
Hatey McHateface on Whatever Can Have Happened?: ““the former judge leading the review is himself a former Lord Advocate” I see. Everybody else must have been already…” Sep 30, 15:37
Sean Duffy on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “There will be no meaningful change. The politicians have the police and the judiciary firmly within their grasp. They won’t…” Sep 30, 15:34
Willie on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Interesting nugget Colin Dawson about arrangemnts not so long ago being considered as ” appropriate “. Well according to Big…” Sep 30, 15:28
Stuart MacKay on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Sadly no. You forgot a pithy quote from a prominent intellectual who was working with the CIA.” Sep 30, 15:16
Colin Dawson on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “In March 2026, just two months ahead of the last Holyrood election, the Scottish Government published an initial internal report…” Sep 30, 14:30
Willie on Whatever Can Have Happened?: “Cannot for the life of me guess why this has arisen Rev. Maybe Big John of the Independent minds she’s…” Sep 30, 14:15
Hatey McHateface on The Turning Point: “@Aidan You can see why it’s so important to sell the “colony” lie. Real former colonies don’t have to shoulder…” Sep 30, 13:52
Hatey Mchateface on The Turning Point: “Farage comes out swinging: “The state pension is not a handout, nor an act of government charity. It is a…” Sep 30, 13:34
