To be honest we didn’t pay it a lot of heed, assuming that “Scottish fishing industry leaders” just meant Bertie Armstrong again – a longstanding ultra-staunch Unionist and Leave supporter with a track record as a reliable anti-independence rentaquote – and nothing in the coverage led us to believe otherwise.
But then we saw a picture:
Mr Armstrong is the white-haired and bearded chap standing immediately to the right of Davidson in the photo, with his hand on the top corner of her pledge. But who’s the fellow immediately to the left of her?
She’s currently contesting Edinburgh West, which the party has some credible hopes of winning, having held the seat for almost 20 years prior to 2015. And it seems that her former employer has decided to try to give her a helping hand.
And, y’know, they’re really not allowed to do that.
Something really quite strange happened yesterday. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was caught red-handed in the act of telling a bare-faced, unarguable lie in the middle of a general election campaign, and nobody cared.
Reacting to the Crown Prosecution Service decision not to prosecute dozens of Tory MPs who’d broken the law in getting elected in 2015, the PM offered up a quote, which was reported in most of the newspapers:
Nice wee bit of snark on “all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists” there. But there’s a slight problem with the statement, which is that it’s an absolute lie.
In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
Northcode on The Plague: “Ultimately, this unwelcome situation comes down to Scotland being colonised. And if you can’t see why that is then you…” Aug 5, 10:11
Frank Gillougley on The Plague: “I dunno. I know nothing other than truth is often stranger than fiction. Art imitating life and life imitating art…” Aug 5, 10:01
Onlokker on Or Something: “Anybody else enjoying the wee nutcase Sturgeon noising the SNP and Swinney up? Burning all bridges, and nobody likes her,…” Aug 5, 09:50
Grace Green on The Plague: “In my more than forty years’ experience of persecution for being vaccine injured, when things happen out-of-hours – letters sent…” Aug 5, 09:43
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “Thank you Rev Stu for shining a light on all of this, so that the rest of us can truly…” Aug 5, 09:35
100%Yes on The Plague: “The Sturgeon now Swinney years will go down in history as the docile years in Scottish politics and the most…” Aug 5, 09:23
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “It fits the definition of anarcho tyranny. Just like our “new” WM government’s announcement yesterday that they have “no choice”…” Aug 5, 09:23
Jamie on The Plague: “How that madman Watson has not been locked up yet, at least in a loony bin is beyond belief.” Aug 5, 08:26
100%Yes on The Plague: “@Jay 5 August, 2026 at 5:56 am I hope this helps.” Aug 5, 08:25
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “There was an article on Unherd recently exposing the extent of the adoption of trans woo woo in the Met.…” Aug 5, 08:19
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “Plainly, Ian, it’s not an encitement to anything. It’s a statement of someone’s apathy towards a potential course of action.…” Aug 5, 08:10
Aidan on The Plague: “I think we’re getting into the realms of fantasy there, to quote Captain Mainwairing. Nothing that the Rev is doing…” Aug 5, 07:48
Jay on The Plague: “What is the method for responding directly to a comment when there is no reply facility show with the comment?” Aug 5, 05:56
Ian Morrison on The Plague: “You have been using the English language for decades? yuou laft out mention of how good you are at spelling.…” Aug 5, 05:32
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Plague: “GRAHAM LINEHAN | THE GLINNER UPDATE | SUBSTACK Aug 04, 2026 HOW THE BELFAST TELEGRAPH HANDLED HELEN JOYCE The Belfast…” Aug 5, 01:12
Dalif on The Plague: “You must have some amazing blood pressure medication after all that. Anyway, that was a great read.” Aug 5, 00:00
Young Lochinvar on The Plague: “Mrs YL asked what skin moisturisers he’s using, as they clearly aren’t helping..” Aug 4, 23:59
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “There’s always a silver lining, though. Nobody’s claiming Fanon has the answer to this one.” Aug 4, 23:30
Angus on The Plague: “Police harassment of innocent citizens only happens in a police state. Most of the freedoms hard gained in the last…” Aug 4, 22:51
Jay on The Plague: “Aidan at 9:30pm. No reply facility at your ‘MI5?’ comment. Who knows? The Watson nightmare saga almost beggars belief. It…” Aug 4, 22:44
Jay on The Plague: “Ian, yuou laft out part of the tweet, “….for all I care”. That omission is the act of either a…” Aug 4, 22:27
dearieme on The Plague: “I suppose the days are long gone when you could ask “Under which statute, officer?”. Well done to you for…” Aug 4, 22:10
Aidan on The Plague: “That this was coordinated by MI5?” Aug 4, 21:30
Ross on The Plague: “This is absolutely disgraceful. Whatever else the call at 1,30am is so unneccessary as to be vexatious in itself. Hope…” Aug 4, 21:14
David G on The Plague: “I dread to think what the police do to people who don’t say anything in response to the request that…” Aug 4, 21:05
Frank Waring on The Plague: “I remember reading, I think in Tom Driberg’s ‘Ruling Passions’, that in the 1930’s and 40’s ambitious young police constables…” Aug 4, 21:04
Jay on The Plague: “Aidan: it is necessary to know where Watson made his ‘input’ to the law enforcement system and which officer decided…” Aug 4, 21:00
Jay on The Plague: “Ian Morrison: it would be interesting to learn the basis upon which you think that the Lucy Connolly tweet called…” Aug 4, 20:49
A2 on The Plague: “Wait…. Joined the dots, He was Living in Dunfermline?” Aug 4, 20:49
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “Plausible. There’s plenty of evidence too about the woke subversion of the police. From taking the knee about Floyd, to…” Aug 4, 20:21