Millionaire-funded diehard loyalist forelock-tugging faction Scotland In Union published an extraordinary blog post yesterday.
Its 606 words comprised a sort of Caledonian Cringe Greatest Hits, allegedly penned by someone called Fiona Annesley (of whom we’re told nothing else, and who has no detectable online presence), but the line that particularly caught people’s eye was this:
The complete series so far. If you’ve got a story like this to tell, or you know anyone who does, Phantom Power want to hear from you – drop them a line.
I went to “Dunkirk” at the cinema today. If you want to know what it’s like, just watch this trailer 40 times in a row and save yourself the £12.
It’s a poor movie, disjointed and aimless and curiously lacking in tension or narrative given the real-life subject matter. (It’s remarkably short on dialogue, which is lucky because you can barely make out any of what little script or story there is from behind the endlessly howling one-note airhorn of the soundtrack. It’s a bit like someone filmed an IKEA assembly manual in live action during a Formula 1 race.)
But I couldn’t help thinking that part of the reason it was so unengaging was because it felt akin to watching a boxing match between two fighters you don’t like. If Mike Tyson took on Tyson Fury, would you cheer for the rapist or the anti-Semitic homophobe?
Today’s Daily Record covers the story we mentioned yesterday about a report from a Scottish Labour campaign group making the pretty factually-uncontestable point that the branch office’s dismal strategy in last month’s election held the UK party back.
We’ll be honest with you here, readers – even though it’s only July, when it comes to sheer ham-fisted, tin-eared, clown-shoed, foot-shooting idiocy we didn’t think anything in Scottish politics in 2017 could possibly top the SNP’s decision that the surefire way to win back voters after a poor election result was literally mutilating puppies.
After all, that’s the sort of thing you say as a self-evidently ludicrous and hyperbolic joke: “Ha ha, the SNP are so dominant in Scotland these days that the only way they could lose an election would be if Nicola Sturgeon went on telly and started hacking the tails off week-old puppy-dogs without anaesthetic! LOL!!!!!”
It couldn’t even be defended as a grotesque but cynically cunning attempt to win votes from the rural hunting-and-fishing lobby – they did it right AFTER the election, when all those people had just gone out and voted Tory anyway.
But bless their hearts, Scottish Labour never once saw a low bar that they didn’t try to slither under, and today they pulled off the seemingly impossible.
Broadly speaking, the psychological phenomenon known as the Pollyanna Principle is a tendency to neurotically see the most positive possible view of a situation. It’s not generally widely found in newspapers – for whom bad news as a rule sells much better than good news – but for some reason the Scottish press makes a uniform exception when it comes to military shipbuilding.
This, for example, is today’s Herald:
Now, in itself that headline is – unusually – true, so far as it goes. But it only takes until the first sentence of the article text before things start to fall apart.
Deep in the summer news desert, the papers today are struggling for material again. The Sunday Herald has a shock-horror front-page exposé about some photos from an Orange Lodge party that turn out to be from 2010 and 2013, while the Scottish Mail On Sunday reaches all the way back to 1940 to fill a couple of pages.
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Plague: “GRAHAM LINEHAN | THE GLINNER UPDATE | SUBSTACK Aug 04, 2026 HOW THE BELFAST TELEGRAPH HANDLED HELEN JOYCE The Belfast…” Aug 5, 01:12
Dalif on The Plague: “You must have some amazing blood pressure medication after all that. Anyway, that was a great read.” Aug 5, 00:00
Young Lochinvar on The Plague: “Mrs YL asked what skin moisturisers he’s using, as they clearly aren’t helping..” Aug 4, 23:59
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “There’s always a silver lining, though. Nobody’s claiming Fanon has the answer to this one.” Aug 4, 23:30
Angus on The Plague: “Police harassment of innocent citizens only happens in a police state. Most of the freedoms hard gained in the last…” Aug 4, 22:51
Jay on The Plague: “Aidan at 9:30pm. No reply facility at your ‘MI5?’ comment. Who knows? The Watson nightmare saga almost beggars belief. It…” Aug 4, 22:44
Jay on The Plague: “Ian, yuou laft out part of the tweet, “….for all I care”. That omission is the act of either a…” Aug 4, 22:27
dearieme on The Plague: “I suppose the days are long gone when you could ask “Under which statute, officer?”. Well done to you for…” Aug 4, 22:10
Aidan on The Plague: “That this was coordinated by MI5?” Aug 4, 21:30
Ross on The Plague: “This is absolutely disgraceful. Whatever else the call at 1,30am is so unneccessary as to be vexatious in itself. Hope…” Aug 4, 21:14
David G on The Plague: “I dread to think what the police do to people who don’t say anything in response to the request that…” Aug 4, 21:05
Frank Waring on The Plague: “I remember reading, I think in Tom Driberg’s ‘Ruling Passions’, that in the 1930’s and 40’s ambitious young police constables…” Aug 4, 21:04
Jay on The Plague: “Aidan: it is necessary to know where Watson made his ‘input’ to the law enforcement system and which officer decided…” Aug 4, 21:00
Jay on The Plague: “Ian Morrison: it would be interesting to learn the basis upon which you think that the Lucy Connolly tweet called…” Aug 4, 20:49
A2 on The Plague: “Wait…. Joined the dots, He was Living in Dunfermline?” Aug 4, 20:49
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “Plausible. There’s plenty of evidence too about the woke subversion of the police. From taking the knee about Floyd, to…” Aug 4, 20:21
Old Bill on The Plague: “Spot on, El President, you’d rightly consider locking up someone battering on doors in the middle of the night. General…” Aug 4, 20:17
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “Sorry, Ian, but I can only assume you refer to a migrant as a hotel. Nobody else does. Must be…” Aug 4, 20:12
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Another surge in Indy support at 6:59 pm. Up another 5% since yesterday. I’m gonna lobby to get Scotland’s national…” Aug 4, 20:00
Ian Morrison on The Plague: ““Set fire to all the hotels full of the bastards”. Direct quote from the tweet. I now look forward to…” Aug 4, 19:57
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “There can no longer be any doubt that in the U.K., ordinary law abiding people are now at the mercy…” Aug 4, 19:50
robertkknight on The Plague: “Somewhere in Avon and Somerset a village is missing its idiot. Clue…they were last seen wearing a Police uniform.” Aug 4, 19:40
Carol Neil on The Plague: “Jfc ,how much more !” Aug 4, 19:32
Aidan on The Plague: “The amazing thing here is that they’ve obviously read your blog posts and yet none of that appeared to ring…” Aug 4, 19:25
Wulls on The Plague: “I thought he was in the process of being tagged as a vexatious litigant ???” Aug 4, 19:14
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “Sorry to be an irritant in Wokeland, Ian, but Connolly didn’t call for anybody to be burned alive. Why don’t…” Aug 4, 19:04
James on The Nobodies: “Ooh…concerted effort from the 3 Tenors/ sorry wankers. But the sad fact for these ****s is that Scotland still hates…” Aug 4, 18:59
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “Those who are interested in S. Salyers’ constitutional campaign might find this interesting: www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5jXpFrZgIU” Aug 4, 18:47
rouebadly on The Plague: “There is a question here to all his former colleagues: Why did you stay silent? The man is clearly a…” Aug 4, 18:39
Nicky T Naquetti on The Plague: “In pre-Communist China, the Imperial eunuchs were a protected clique, and to pour scorn upon them was treated like an…” Aug 4, 18:37
