Wings Over Scotland

…is roughly how often Aberdeen get to the final of the Scottish Cup these days. The last time was 17 years ago – a tournament which started in the last century and ended the year Rangers started paying their players with EBTs – when SFA rules meant that they had to play almost the entire game without a recognised goalkeeper.

(A tackle in the third minute broke veteran custodian Jim Leighton’s jaw, and because you were only allowed three players on the subs bench the Dons had no backup No.1 and had to put striker Robbie Winters between the sticks, with a predictable outcome. Leighton never played professional football again.)

In politics, Labour were only one year into the first ever administration of the modern Scottish Parliament, and still in the first term of Tony Blair’s rule at Westminster. The idea of the SNP winning an election, let alone holding an independence referendum, was the preserve of mad fantasists.

And the last time the Pittodrie side actually won the trophy was 27 years back, which is so long ago that most of Hampden was still open to the elements.

Still, it would be weird if we got to the final again next year and some of the Aberdeen support refused to go on the grounds that the matter of who was the best cup football team in Scotland had been settled forever today.

Or if Celtic won but had fielded an ineligible player and the SFA ordered a replay, but the Dons declined to take part because they’d played too many finals recently.

Just saying.

#COYR

You want the immigrants in:

You want the immigrants out:

You want the immigrants around the same, but shaken all about:

(Good Morning Scotland, BBC Radio Scotland, 26 May 2017)
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You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around:

And that’s what Ruth is all about. Oy!

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We hadn’t been planning to talk any more about the curious case of Claire Austin, the suddenly publicity-shy Edinburgh nurse who – how can we put this? – seemed a rather ill-chosen figurehead for the good cause of getting more pay for a group of people who are rightly well-regarded by the public.

But yesterday, the release of a letter from Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale re-opened political hostilities after last week’s hiatus for the Manchester terror attack by shoving the now-reticent Ms Austin right back into the spotlight.

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Politics is still on hiatus after the dreadful events of Manchester, so we’ve taken the chance to go and enjoy the sudden summer weather while nothing was happening.

And today, as we (“Drove at a legal speed” – Ed) across the pretty hills overlooking Bath in an inexpensive convertible, a song came on the stereo that made us think of all the Unionist trolls who were still busily raging on Twitter – mainly about the SNP’s awful failure to light up every building in Scotland with the Union Jack in tribute to the dead (no, really), but also at the most recent data “proving” that independence would mean the country regressing to the Stone Age and whatnot.

So we thought we’d share it with you, because as well as having a jaunty tune it’s got a good attitude to adopt when they’re screaming and yelling themselves red, white and blue in the face about something or other, rather than wasting your time and mental equilibrium on being dragged into their fetid mind-swamp.

It works on any day, even if you’re not in a sports car.

The spanking new issue of Viz, which is totally still a thing, is out today at all good newsagents. The cover promises a “FANTASTIC FREE VOTING AID” inside, and we thought you’d be at least mildly and fleetingly amused by the Scottish aspect. Of it.

Pop out to the shops and buy a Viz*, readers. (Or subscribe to try three issues for a mere £1.) It’s just as funny as it used to be but much less popular, so it’s cool again.

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*Wings Over Scotland has no connection to Viz or Dennis Publishing Ltd and has received no inducement for this endorsement. Although we’re open to offers.

(NB The media is understandably mostly occupied today with the horrific events in Manchester. But life goes on – music websites are still talking about music, football websites are still talking about football, videogames websites are still talking about videogames. Any rational observations about terrorism made here would be screamed down as making political capital from tragedy. So let’s get on with the day job.)

If you apply to go on a televised political debate and then submit a question to ask a national leader, it seems a reasonable deduction that you want that issue to be raised and discussed. If you also make it personal by describing your own circumstances, it seems logical that you’d want those circumstances to be widely publicised, and to be asked about them so you could say more and tell your story to the country.

So it’s a bit odd that Edinburgh nurse Claire Austin has suddenly gone off the radar.

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We’re not going to join in the attacks on a nurse who criticised Nicola Sturgeon during last night’s BBC election debate. While her lifestyle seems at a glance to be wildly at odds with her claim that she relied on foodbanks to survive, there are – genuinely – possible explanations for at least most of it.

Her daughter could have won a free scholarship to the £11,000-a-year George Heriot’s school. Family and friends could have paid for her five-star holidays to New York and frequent dinners in expensive restaurants. She lives in Stockbridge, which is a quite expensive area of Edinburgh – in itself the most expensive city in Scotland – where wages might not stretch as far as elsewhere.

Owning a convertible car isn’t proof that someone’s wealthy – I have one myself that’s worth less than £1000, and I also have a relative who has very little money but who nevertheless owns a horse just like Claire Austin’s daughter seemingly does. (It’s also possible to be quite poor but still own things you bought when you were less poor.)

It ill befits Yes supporters – who are happy to deploy the existence and growing use of foodbanks to justifiably attack the UK government – to complain if someone who calls the First Minister “wee Jimmy Krankie” adopts the same tactic. More to the point, we entirely agree with Ms Austin’s core view that nurses should be paid more in general, as we suspect most people do.

(And in Scotland, of course, they ARE paid more than in the rest of the UK, and under the SNP have always been given the full pay rises recommended by the independent pay board, which hasn’t been the case in England.)

But that still leaves some things hanging disquietingly in the air.

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No.12: Sophie, Dundee.

Please help make more of these brilliant films.

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Following the striking success of their tactical voting campaign at the general election of 2015, the Unionist parties are keen to repeat the strategy this year, and have once again deployed THE WHEEL.

There’s only one problem. They can’t quite agree on the colours of the spokes.

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Kezia Dugdale tells voters in the Borders, Highlands and a number of other areas that voting Tory is a better way to stop the SNP than voting for her own party’s candidates.

We assume she’ll be suspending herself shortly.

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I went to the dentist this morning, and boy was I ever in for a shock when I got back.

So I guess we’d better talk about this for a minute.

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If you weren’t listening to the Kaye Adams show earlier, and you probably weren’t, this was my call to Scottish Lib Dem leader Willie Rennie.

(The Kaye Adams Programme, BBC Radio Scotland, 18 May 2017)
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(Alert readers may have noticed that I had to adopt a wee bit of subterfuge to get on by saying – truthfully – that I was from Bathgate, because BBC Scotland don’t tend to take my calls when I say where I am.)

As you’ll hear, Rennie had no answer to the question (even when put to him again by Adams), trying to deflect the issue onto SNP BAD instead.

His position was that the British people should have the right to another vote in case they’ve changed their mind about Brexit, even though there’s been no material change of circumstances, but that the Scottish people SHOULDN’T have the right to another vote on independence even though there HAS been a huge material change.

All I can say is that I tried.