As it happens, one of the things that we’ve been occupying ourselves with during the current news drought is pulling together a post called “The SNPBAD Files”, collecting all the desperate smear and innuendo of the Unionist press as it systematically tries to discredit every one of the 56 SNP MPs elected last May.
Until last night we hadn’t been sure which had been the most pathetically dismal. Was it the MP who still did a few haircuts in his barber shop on Saturday afternoons? The one who bought a derelict London house many years before he was an MP, renovated it with his own hands and now sometimes stays there when working at Westminster, rather than charging expenses to the public for accommodation? Or perhaps the one who tweeted that he was opposed to the concept of monarchy, the foul monster?
As politics wakes up from the holidays, any readers still bothering to gaze at the pages of the Scottish media could be forgiven for a crushing sense of deja vu.
Alert readers may recall an incident last year in which the Scottish media got itself very worked up about some independence supporters threatening to boycott holiday company Barrhead Travel after its owner sent a barking-mad letter to staff about how the company would go out of business if Scotland voted Yes.
So we’re sure that you won’t be able to move later today and tomorrow for newspaper articles about something similar, but significantly worse, that happened this weekend.
Last night we ran a piece about a story in last week’s Daily Record in which a Scottish Labour official was given free rein to make an extended political attack on the SNP in the guise of a “business student” from the University of the West of Scotland, without his Labour identity being revealed, on the flimsy basis of a petition about college cuts with a few hundred signatures.
As it happens, another UWS student also has a petition doing the rounds at the moment. But it got treated rather differently by the Scottish press.
We’ve noted on more than one occasion that the spectacular SNP surge since the referendum appears to have completely unhinged much of the Scottish and UK press. Having pumped out a vast avalanche of hysterical coverage which utterly failed to stop the Scottish electorate returning 56 SNPs out of 59, the papers have responded to the rebuff by simply turning the volume up.
But even by those standards, today has been special.
Amazingly enough, the Scottish press today ISN’T wall-to-wall with stories about Baron McConnell of Glenscorrodale, UK peer and lawmaker, endorsing the “f***ing booting” of Conservative supporters at the weekend, in a striking contrast to when a young SNP candidate said similar but less offensive things some months ago.
(Lord McConnell’s friends were talking in the future tense about something they would do. Mhairi Black was talking in the past tense, about things which she HADN’T done.)
As far as we’ve seen, the small piece above in the Scottish Sun is the only coverage. (The Daily Record, as well as not reporting the McConnell comments at all, actually has another go at Mhairi Black instead.)
But we were having trouble recalling any “hate-filled violent mobs” (McConnell’s actual full quote) on the Yes/SNP side. And so was an alert reader who had a dig through the papers from the last couple of years.
At today’s First Minister’s Questions, the Scottish Labour deputy leader Kezia Dugdale launched into an ill-advised attack over an SNP candidate who’d made some foolish (but not especially outrageous) comments on Twitter in 2012. Rather than simply issuing the standard generic condemnation of abusive remarks, Nicola Sturgeon did so but also drew Dugdale’s attention to the beam in her own eye.
Labour activist, blogger, lawyer and regular BBC pundit Ian Smart (he hasn’t been seen on STV since accusing them repeatedly, without any evidence, of letting the SNP pre-approve all interview questions some time ago) is well known to readers of this blog. Bizarrely, however, Dugdale feigned ignorance of his activity.
To help her, we’ve compiled some of Mr Smart’s greatest hits.
As alert readers will already know, this site’s core long-term aim is to eventually render itself redundant, by showing people how to read between the lines, spot what isn’t being said and understand the various tricks that newspapers use in order to get the public to believe things that aren’t true without ever doing anything so crass (and more to the point, legally-actionable) as directly lying.
Today’s papers provide an especially clear-cut example.
That clip (from just past midnight on the BBC News channel) isn’t a bad starting-point summary of last night’s extraordinary story, except by our count the Telegraph’s piece was fourth-hand rather than third-hand.
(First-hand would have been Nicola Sturgeon. Second-hand would have been the ambassador. Third-hand would have been the consul-general. The civil servant – who doubted the story him/herself – is fourth-hand.)
This is also a pretty good primer. Now let’s get to the fun stuff.
Former Labour spindoctor Charlie Whelan in the Strathspey & Badenoch Herald:
Click to enlarge as Whelan segues seamlessly from terrible Scottish “nationalism” to racial genocide in Auschwitz, because, you know, Yes voters are all basically Nazis*.
*George Galloway’s comments (made in his capacity as a nominated representative of “Better Together”) from yesterday’s BBC “Big Big Debate” were edited out of the broadcast version. We’re sure it was just to keep the running time tight.
Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “I’m afraid the colonialists who insist on posting here long after they have lost the day to the wit and…” Mar 9, 23:57
Geri on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Stop voting for these people. They have no mandate. Another good example of why that place should be closed. Idle…” Mar 9, 23:45
Geri on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Calm yersel, shitface. You’ll do yersel an injury. Are you sure it wisnae ten million they gunned down? Whit about…” Mar 9, 23:34
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Stop, sarah! First consider how you could use this to eliminate people who disagree with you. Take your time, at…” Mar 9, 22:58
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Which really does help explain the Scots ‘No’ vote(r)” Great. Did anybody ask for that explanation? But why don’t you…” Mar 9, 22:52
sarah on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “O/T: Assisted Dying Bill vote in Holyrood tomorrow. The dangers of this Bill are obvious – just look at what…” Mar 9, 22:48
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Oh FFS, Geri. Get some help. Please. Their constitution just permitted between 20,000 and 30,000 of their citizens to be…” Mar 9, 22:42
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “It is very disturbing to see some of the comments on here supporting the evil regime of inbred gangsters. What…” Mar 9, 22:39
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Well done, everyone” Is that the same people you were telling to get tae fuck yesterday?” Mar 9, 22:34
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “What’s your beef with batshit? Compared to some I could mention, batshit is the very epitome of calm rationalism.” Mar 9, 22:30
Geri on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Cause it’s all about the “networking” After a good rodgering with each other it’s ontae the bus to go crack…” Mar 9, 22:12
Geri on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Iran has a constitution. Something you eejits never do understand, must be cause you don’t have one of your own.…” Mar 9, 21:51
Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Aye Cynicus, yer richt, tho rural Scotland differed fae the cities wi fermers laddies addin thair wecht an muscle tae…” Mar 9, 21:44
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Well it started like a rabid dog chained to a traffic cone, and the less said about the middle the…” Mar 9, 20:59
Marie on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Yes Confused- End Times, Rapture, Armageddon, Second Coming – people like Hegseth are batshit crazy and a danger to us…” Mar 9, 20:58
Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Well, having perused all the comments posted here today I think I can say that us Scottish liberation seeking Scots…” Mar 9, 20:50
Dunx on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““No need to resort to type with yer banal childish insults.” Irony isn’t really your strong point.” Mar 9, 20:49
Aidan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Far be it from me to be content, although I am realistic about the fact that posting on wings isn’t…” Mar 9, 20:27
Cynicus on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Alf, did you forget the late, great commentator Bill McLaren? He wis a Borderer wi a guid Scots tung in…” Mar 9, 20:24
Dan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “@ Aidan at 7.45 pm Very droll ya radge. I guess you’re content with the way things are playing out…” Mar 9, 20:08
Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “To add, in relation to Northcode’s correct use of the Scots word ‘dummie’, which refers to in English ‘a dumb…” Mar 9, 19:54
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Ah, c’moan noo, Alf. Ye were jist getting interesting. Fits Scots fer corset? BTW, surely nae True Scot drinks pints?…” Mar 9, 19:52
Aidan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Nice to see you again Dan, hope you’ve been well. Was the moderated post you moaning about something by any…” Mar 9, 19:44
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “@Northy I bought a 2026 calendar and a 2026 desk diary. In December 2025, at full price. Not at the…” Mar 9, 19:36
Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The Anglo dominated and assimilated colonial mindset certainly ‘boggles’ with illusions of cultural superiority, as Hatey ower Scotland aye attempts…” Mar 9, 19:33
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Turns out that in a country of over 90 million, the best man for the top job just happens to…” Mar 9, 18:50
Dan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Hatey McHateface says: at 6:03 pm “And continue to act astonished that because most people think your borderline illiterate, with…” Mar 9, 18:31
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Dead man stooping more like. He’ll be down in a tunnel like the ham ass scum. If the surveillance drones…” Mar 9, 18:26
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “It’s the coming of the men in white coats you need to be worrying about. Anybody make it to the…” Mar 9, 18:20
