As it happens, one of the things that we’ve been occupying ourselves with during the current news drought is pulling together a post called “The SNPBAD Files”, collecting all the desperate smear and innuendo of the Unionist press as it systematically tries to discredit every one of the 56 SNP MPs elected last May.
Until last night we hadn’t been sure which had been the most pathetically dismal. Was it the MP who still did a few haircuts in his barber shop on Saturday afternoons? The one who bought a derelict London house many years before he was an MP, renovated it with his own hands and now sometimes stays there when working at Westminster, rather than charging expenses to the public for accommodation? Or perhaps the one who tweeted that he was opposed to the concept of monarchy, the foul monster?
As politics wakes up from the holidays, any readers still bothering to gaze at the pages of the Scottish media could be forgiven for a crushing sense of deja vu.
Alert readers may recall an incident last year in which the Scottish media got itself very worked up about some independence supporters threatening to boycott holiday company Barrhead Travel after its owner sent a barking-mad letter to staff about how the company would go out of business if Scotland voted Yes.
So we’re sure that you won’t be able to move later today and tomorrow for newspaper articles about something similar, but significantly worse, that happened this weekend.
Last night we ran a piece about a story in last week’s Daily Record in which a Scottish Labour official was given free rein to make an extended political attack on the SNP in the guise of a “business student” from the University of the West of Scotland, without his Labour identity being revealed, on the flimsy basis of a petition about college cuts with a few hundred signatures.
As it happens, another UWS student also has a petition doing the rounds at the moment. But it got treated rather differently by the Scottish press.
We’ve noted on more than one occasion that the spectacular SNP surge since the referendum appears to have completely unhinged much of the Scottish and UK press. Having pumped out a vast avalanche of hysterical coverage which utterly failed to stop the Scottish electorate returning 56 SNPs out of 59, the papers have responded to the rebuff by simply turning the volume up.
But even by those standards, today has been special.
Amazingly enough, the Scottish press today ISN’T wall-to-wall with stories about Baron McConnell of Glenscorrodale, UK peer and lawmaker, endorsing the “f***ing booting” of Conservative supporters at the weekend, in a striking contrast to when a young SNP candidate said similar but less offensive things some months ago.
(Lord McConnell’s friends were talking in the future tense about something they would do. Mhairi Black was talking in the past tense, about things which she HADN’T done.)
As far as we’ve seen, the small piece above in the Scottish Sun is the only coverage. (The Daily Record, as well as not reporting the McConnell comments at all, actually has another go at Mhairi Black instead.)
But we were having trouble recalling any “hate-filled violent mobs” (McConnell’s actual full quote) on the Yes/SNP side. And so was an alert reader who had a dig through the papers from the last couple of years.
At today’s First Minister’s Questions, the Scottish Labour deputy leader Kezia Dugdale launched into an ill-advised attack over an SNP candidate who’d made some foolish (but not especially outrageous) comments on Twitter in 2012. Rather than simply issuing the standard generic condemnation of abusive remarks, Nicola Sturgeon did so but also drew Dugdale’s attention to the beam in her own eye.
Labour activist, blogger, lawyer and regular BBC pundit Ian Smart (he hasn’t been seen on STV since accusing them repeatedly, without any evidence, of letting the SNP pre-approve all interview questions some time ago) is well known to readers of this blog. Bizarrely, however, Dugdale feigned ignorance of his activity.
To help her, we’ve compiled some of Mr Smart’s greatest hits.
As alert readers will already know, this site’s core long-term aim is to eventually render itself redundant, by showing people how to read between the lines, spot what isn’t being said and understand the various tricks that newspapers use in order to get the public to believe things that aren’t true without ever doing anything so crass (and more to the point, legally-actionable) as directly lying.
Today’s papers provide an especially clear-cut example.
That clip (from just past midnight on the BBC News channel) isn’t a bad starting-point summary of last night’s extraordinary story, except by our count the Telegraph’s piece was fourth-hand rather than third-hand.
(First-hand would have been Nicola Sturgeon. Second-hand would have been the ambassador. Third-hand would have been the consul-general. The civil servant – who doubted the story him/herself – is fourth-hand.)
This is also a pretty good primer. Now let’s get to the fun stuff.
Former Labour spindoctor Charlie Whelan in the Strathspey & Badenoch Herald:
Click to enlarge as Whelan segues seamlessly from terrible Scottish “nationalism” to racial genocide in Auschwitz, because, you know, Yes voters are all basically Nazis*.
*George Galloway’s comments (made in his capacity as a nominated representative of “Better Together”) from yesterday’s BBC “Big Big Debate” were edited out of the broadcast version. We’re sure it was just to keep the running time tight.
Alf Baird on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “You can pointlessly divert all you want but you cannot alter the fact Scots have been dragged into some 80…” Jun 26, 22:11
Mia on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: ““Blame Da Dews” Nope. In this particular instance, I blame the spineless envoys on the side of the UK (and…” Jun 26, 21:02
Mark Beggan on And it’s goodnight from he/him: “The cracks are appearing in the global plan. Woops did I say plan!” Jun 26, 20:20
Northcode on Holiday Relief: “Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh I accept your peace token and am persuaded it is given in good faith and with respect. I…” Jun 26, 19:48
Hatey McHateface on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “Groceries going up in price? Blame Da Dews. Check out professional people’s champion and enthusiastic socialist redistributer, Mia, shopping in…” Jun 26, 19:02
Mia on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “Why has the Scottish or indeed “UK” beef become so ridiculously expensive? The price of a roasting joint of beef…” Jun 26, 18:36
Northcode on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “WOOF! WOOF! Ma Scottish pish whit a vigorously spray aboot aw ower this place wreakin havoc like a big auld…” Jun 26, 18:33
Hatey McHateface on And it’s goodnight from he/him: “Very much On Topic, Sven. I guess if we are going to be killing off our own law-abiding citizens because…” Jun 26, 18:21
Dave Hansell on And it’s goodnight from he/him: ““Will we find out that we don’t own our army equipment either and that all the troops are mercenaries?” Given…” Jun 26, 18:04
Andy Ellis on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “@Insider Northcode and his ilk are proof positive that the much vaunted Scottish conceit about our educational system being (at…” Jun 26, 16:53
Sven on And it’s goodnight from he/him: “Off Topic Post. Interesting new Poll out says majority of voters of all Political Parties support deportation of foreign criminals…” Jun 26, 16:38
Boyce Franks on A different school: “Independence died when Alex Salmond died. The snp died when they tried to kill Salmond’s political career and reputation. The…” Jun 26, 15:42
Insider on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: ““The Scots didn’t leave their own country to knowingly exploit other peoples” Oh dear ! Where do you get your…” Jun 26, 15:00
sarah on And it’s goodnight from he/him: ““Officers say they have nothing to go on.” Boom, boom. Thank you, Rev, we need a laugh. There was I…” Jun 26, 14:20
Sven on And it’s goodnight from he/him: “And, undoubtedly, the station cat searches any suspects who identify as felines.” Jun 26, 14:09
Rob on And it’s goodnight from he/him: “They can ask for this but are the cops forced to comply with the request? Its stupid anyway, the supreme…” Jun 26, 14:03
Hatey McHateface on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “Stop it! Now I’m imagining a stream of Scots coming from a letter box.” Jun 26, 13:54
Andrew scott on And it’s goodnight from he/him: “How on earth did scotland get to this?No wonder reform are gaining traction” Jun 26, 13:44
Hatey McHateface on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “That’s odd, Alf. You must be unaware that Ireland allocated a record amount for defence in 2025 and has promised…” Jun 26, 13:31
Peter Campbell on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “So Seamus is imparting his wisdom by telling us idiots that Westminster won’t just roll over and recognise a victory…” Jun 26, 13:31
dasBlimp on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “Our lady Northcode sounds like a nasty piece of work. She must be Iranian.” Jun 26, 13:31
Captain Caveman on A different school: ““Stick to 18 yr old Macallan.” Heh! As if, pal. Tennents Super in your case” Jun 26, 13:27
Hatey McHateface on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: “Yes, yes, NC, but it all sounds so pathetic and whiny when you write it in the language of the…” Jun 26, 13:13
Hatey McHateface on And it’s goodnight from he/him: ““One half of their body will be searched by one biological sex officer and the other half of their body…” Jun 26, 13:03
Aidan on A different school: “Well if it isn’t the site cabbage at it again. I sometimes wonder whether you wake up with the sole…” Jun 26, 13:02
Alf Baird on But Don’t Give Yourself Away: ““Assuming your claim that WM has involved us in 150+ conflicts is true, were there never any of them in…” Jun 26, 12:58
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Lunatic: “It’s a grand day for digging yourself your own tunnel, Confused. Why don’t you put a shift in? You’ll feel…” Jun 26, 12:53