Yesterday’s evidence session at the Fabiani inquiry had several standout moments, but by a narrow margin this was our favourite.
And just in case you were wondering, yes, that IS Scotland’s top prosecutor, the Lord Advocate, chief of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service, James Wolffe QC, repeatedly refusing to tell an MSP whether or not it’s a criminal offence in Scotland to refuse to comply with a court-ordered search warrant.
So next time you’ve ramraided a load of iPads and the polis come knocking on your door asking if they can have a nosy around your attic for them, just tell them they can’t come in because it’s a matter of your motivations.
We’d been wondering why our traffic was so crazy high that we’d already smashed last month’s four-year record to bits with a full week of February still to go.
The Scottish political arena is a funny place at the moment. Never before in modern history has there been so much dangerous hypocrisy, particularly on social media.
And what’s equally dangerous is that right now this hypocrisy is being doubled by a notion that independence of thought is a dangerous quality in a political movement that seeks to gain independence for a nation.
We suppose this is a sort of compliment, in at least two senses.
The second of them, of course, being the sheer surprise of some people at discovering that not everyone is as cynical and devious as they evidently are themselves.
It’s safe to say, readers, that our light-hearted new impromptu fundraiser has well and truly unhinged a few members of Scotland’s unhappiest community: the WokeNats.
Tonight somebody’s sent us a copy of the SNP’s official Social Media Policy, which is exactly the sort of awful corporate wonk-drivel you’d probably expect it to be.
Our favourite part was this masterpiece of unrememberable gibberish in the vein of the Scottish Government’s hopeless “FACTS” slogan (honestly, without going and looking can you remember what ANY of the letters represent?) for the coronavirus :
And here’s a tweet from earlier today from a prospective SNP candidate:
We’re not sure which of the letters that conforms to.
Readers, we swear to you we are not making this up. What you’re about to read are genuine extracts from the SNP’s official new (probably illegal) Equalities Mechanism explanatory note, detailing what does and doesn’t count as a disability when it comes to jumping the queue for a regional list nomination.
And straight away it’s a real punch in the gut for firestarters, muggers, rapists, flashers and, in most cases, hay-fever sufferers. THIS BIGOTRY WILL NOT STAND.
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Sure! Keep the cash rolling in. £20 on the meter so far. 🙂 Never done a good grift before, sounds…” Aug 11, 17:53
Minceheid on The Party Of The Dead: “Captain Caveman says: 11 August, 2026 at 4:39 pm No, no Aidan, I’m actually quite touched that Fatso would give…” Aug 11, 17:34
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “*margarita even 😀 Jeez, what a typo… don’t want Fatso to think I’m holding a French white daisy for him…” Aug 11, 17:21
Oneliner on The Party Of The Dead: “Gordon Brown had a black-windowed cavalcade of Range Rovers when he went to his ‘How To Save The Union’ meeting…” Aug 11, 17:17
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “I’ll be sure to do so too, just for him – marguerite in hand. 😀” Aug 11, 17:16
Aidan on The Party Of The Dead: “He probably hasn’t twigged that you’ll still be able to post on the internet, exactly as today, from another location…” Aug 11, 16:58
Stevie on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Mentally ill, delusional, perpetually-victimhood-angry, self-righteous = dangerous” Aug 11, 16:43
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “No, no Aidan, I’m actually quite touched that Fatso would give me his life savings to help move out. :)…” Aug 11, 16:39
James on The Party Of The Dead: “£20 towards your moving expenses, no problem. Just say the word. Good riddance.” Aug 11, 15:18
Aidan on The Party Of The Dead: “Some of this “analysis” borders on being absurd and is clearly written from the standpoint of another agenda. – Nobody…” Aug 11, 15:04
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Somebody would have had to count the pies and sandwiches, etc, before and after. If it’s the same employee that…” Aug 11, 14:29
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “I guess the imperial nationalist Scots aren’t “True Scots”, what with being brainwashed and all. If they might be concerned…” Aug 11, 14:20
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “I daresay even an airport catering truck is preferable to, say, a luxury campervan paid for with embezzled funds. 🙂” Aug 11, 14:14
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Batman had the Batmobile, the Pope has the Pope Mobile, JFK an open top saloon, the King a carriage and…” Aug 11, 13:50
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““definition of “Scot”” An interesting point, Hatey. We may say there are different forms of nationalist ideology at play, and…” Aug 11, 13:49
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “HMcH Those artisans hung At Lauder Bridge.” Aug 11, 13:40
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““Scotland would vote to leave the Union if a second referendum were held tomorrow” Selfish basturt cants care nothing for…” Aug 11, 13:10
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““terrorist” Gaddafi built huge tunnels No shit, Sherlock! Who knew terrorists could build tunnels, funded either by oil revenues or…” Aug 11, 12:45
agentx on The Party Of The Dead: “SCOTTISH voters will not accept there is an “‘off limits’ when it comes to democracy”, Prime Minister Andy Burnham has…” Aug 11, 12:42
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““He pays no tax on his Scottish estate” It’s always intriguing to consider the mindset of those who believe that…” Aug 11, 12:26
Willie on The Party Of The Dead: “Ah Hatey, you raise a point. Number 10 North. The relocation of Nr 10 function to Manchester. Its a strange…” Aug 11, 10:41
Chas on The Party Of The Dead: “‘Case in point in the Carse of Gowrie at the moment. 2000 acres of prime farmland (next to the biggest…” Aug 11, 10:31
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: ““According to Andy Wightman” Explains a lot.” Aug 11, 10:26
sam on The Party Of The Dead: “Large estates in Scotland historically have not been good for the Scottish people on them. According to Andy Wightman “83%…” Aug 11, 10:20
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Now you’re just boasting about the better class of rammie you enjoy in your hoose. We’re traditionalists. “Ach, shite!” delivered…” Aug 11, 10:19
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Sam seems to be telling us “there are some land owners who aren’t 100% perfect” in 30,000 (cut and pasted)…” Aug 11, 10:02
Minceheid on The Party Of The Dead: “Hatey McHateface says: 11 August, 2026 at 8:13 am Short and to the point, MH. But couldn’t you have phrased…” Aug 11, 10:01
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Hero to Zero in 3 weeks: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/aug/10/andy-burnham-national-listening-tour Got to hand it to the Guardian. It must have taken a little…” Aug 11, 09:53
