When I was a boy at Balbardie Primary School in Bathgate in the mid-70s, football was banned in the playground. Of course we were all fitba-daft laddies, so we sought ways around the prohibition. Occasionally someone would bring in a tennis ball, but those were difficult to control in school shoes and also apt to fly over the wall of the outdoor toilet block if somebody caught one sweetly on the volley.
So most playtimes somebody would produce a tin of Pepsi or Irn-Bru or Cresta, chug the contents, stand the empty container on its end and stomp sharply on it, producing something more akin to an ice-hockey puck that would serve for our kickabout.
But even after being skelped and scudded around a concrete playground into stone walls for 20 minutes, that can was still in better shape at the end of our game than the one the SNP have been kicking down the road since 2016.
The SNP now seem to be involved in some sort of competition where they dare each other to come up with the most blatant insult to their own members and/or the wider independence movement and see just how much they can get people to put up with.
First up was this drivel:
Humza Yousaf is leader of the SNP, a political party whose defining purpose – arguably its SOLE real purpose – is the pursuit of Scottish independence, but his “vision for Scotland” didn’t include a single mention of it.
Instead, Yousaf intends to spend the next three years on “equality”, “opportunity” and “community”, three meaningless buzzwords which every political party on Earth would claim to be in favour of. He might as well have identified his key values as kittens, lollipops and hugs.
Once again, we’re dismayed to report that we called it right. Because last night SNP MSP Mairi McAllan, officially representing the party on Question Time, told a weary audience in Fort William that that was precisely the case.
And readers, if ever a policy has been tested in battle and found wanting, it’s that one.
Just over a year ago, Shona Robison – then the Cabinet Secretary For Social Justice, now the Deputy First Minister – told the Scottish Parliament this:
There now follow some quotes from the media regarding the case of Andrew Miller, aka Amy George, who yesterday admitted the kidnap and repeated sexual abuse of an 11-year-old girl at his home in Galashiels earlier this year.
But we’ve subsequently noticed a number of attempts by various people to muddy the story by talking about a “draft” warrant request, implying that there was no improper delay. So we checked up, and thought you might like to know how the process works.
100%Yes on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “If the PM was to grant dunderhead a referendum he’d only F*ck it up. John does nothing for me apart…” Mar 4, 19:04
agentx on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “I remember the days on here when if anybody had a negative comment about the SNP there were sarcastic cries…” Mar 4, 18:57
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “How does the progress being made with the UN C-24 application tie in with this? No referendum will ever be…” Mar 4, 18:47
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The wheels on the bus go round and round… All day long.” Mar 4, 18:44
duncanio on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The dream shall never die. But Swinney’s wish might prove to be his nightmare.” Mar 4, 18:40
Karen on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Ha ha, you stole my line: “Are you saying we should vote SNP1 just for the bant?”” Mar 4, 18:21
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: ““wise up to this shift in the global paradigm” You are coy on what you believe that shift to be.…” Mar 4, 18:06
Aidan on Two Men Unalike: “That’s twice you’ve called me “Adrian”, are you illiterate as well as fat, stupid and obnoxious?” Mar 4, 17:40
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Odd, isn’t it James? HR election in May. The UN supposedly declaring our Indy in June (see posts just up-thread).…” Mar 4, 16:29
TURABDIN on Two Men Unalike: “THE «MARTYRDOM» that might signal the beginning of the end of US power? https://archive.is/WbZpc An excellent insightful text. I do…” Mar 4, 16:23
James on Two Men Unalike: “The resident Yoons will hate this news. Excellent stuff.” Mar 4, 16:02
James on Two Men Unalike: “Adrian; pipe down there and back to your homework, there’s a good lad.” Mar 4, 15:58
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: ““History is in the making” Nice one, Geri, the “just have faith” response. Have ye made yer bed, the day?…” Mar 4, 15:53
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “History is in the making, sunshine. A new world order beckons. Old & corrupted institutions will be having a good…” Mar 4, 15:33
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: ““launch of a targeted fundraising effort” “intention to place members at the heart of the party’s next phase” No skin…” Mar 4, 15:07
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: ““I’ll not embarrass you further” Why ever not? If you’re slam dunking every point in dispute? If you ever post…” Mar 4, 15:02
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Two Men Unalike: “ALBA CONTINUATION GROUP STATEMENT (4th March 2026) FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – ALBA Continuation Group Yields to MacAskill’s Unconditional Indemnity Demand…” Mar 4, 14:50
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “Do my eyes deceive me … or is that Britain’s most glamourous tawny-maned former plumber and plasterer centre stage? If…” Mar 4, 14:49
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “‘Hoo did they dae that wi weapons that dinna work and F16s that cannae get aff the groond?’ Cause they…” Mar 4, 14:25
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: “With absolutely nothing going on in the world to keep it busy, I fear the UN will have voted to…” Mar 4, 14:23
TURABDIN on Two Men Unalike: “SEND IN THE DRONES…..i mean clowns. https://archive.is/WDIfY” Mar 4, 14:22
sam on Two Men Unalike: “Hearing in Junec, I think.” Mar 4, 14:04
Aidan on Two Men Unalike: “Nothing – C-24 has no remit to consider territories not on the list of NSGT’s agreed by the general assembly.…” Mar 4, 13:56
100%Yes on Two Men Unalike: “Its now the 4th of March 2026 what’s happening with the UN-C24 and Scotland case?” Mar 4, 13:23
TURABDIN on Two Men Unalike: “The constitution and US Presidents’ capacities to exercise office. https://archive.is/AhTjT” Mar 4, 13:22
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: ““The mad don will soon have to start wearing a scarf” Here’s a thought. If he wears a tea towel…” Mar 4, 13:06
Hatey McHateface on Two Men Unalike: ““used to mow down over 1 million Iraqis & seize Syria” Crivens! Hoo did they dae that wi weapons that…” Mar 4, 13:02
Geri on Two Men Unalike: “Aye, Iain.. those skin rashes & lesions look real nasty. The mad don will soon have to start wearing a…” Mar 4, 12:50
Iain More on Two Men Unalike: “I would have thought the 25th Amendment of the US Constitution would be enough to remove the Syphilitic Child Rapist.” Mar 4, 12:09
