We’ve only ourselves to blame, we’d be the first to admit. When we titled yesterday’s piece “AMS for lazy people” it was pretty much an invitation for people to get us to do their research for them, and so it proved.
Even as we slumped exhausted over a red-hot calculator, several readers wasted no time demanding a breakdown of how the mechanisms of the electoral system had affected last year’s European elections, in which UKIP defied some expectations (and delighted the Unionist parties and media) by taking a seat in Scotland.
The email we’ve had more than any other since the 8th of May is this one:
“Please can you explain how the Scottish election system works, and whether it’s a good idea for me as an SNP voter to give my list vote to someone else so as to ensure the maximum number of pro-Yes MSPs in Holyrood?”
We’d planned to leave that question until much nearer the relevant time, but to be honest we’re getting fed up of reading them, so let’s see if we can sort it out now.
Particularly alert readers may recall that we recently made a simple and seemingly innocuous Freedom Of Information request for the latest viewing/listening figures of two BBC Scotland politics programmes (Scotland 2015 and Good Morning Scotland), which was met with the standard BBC “get lost” response to any uppity licence-fee payer with the temerity to ask about how their money’s being spent.
We appealed to the Information Commissioner, and we’ve just received a prompt, and impressively detailed and specific, reply. We attach it below for your enlightenment.
For reasons best known to himself, and almost certainly NOT related to the recent publication of his new book, the BBC’s Nick Robinson has today chosen to reignite the issues surrounding his infamous questioning of Alex Salmond a week before last year’s independence referendum, claiming that the reaction to his presentation of the incident was reminiscent of “Putin’s Russia”.
The state broadcaster’s political correspondent then inflamed social media further by claiming on Twitter that a grassroots protest – neither instigated nor endorsed by the SNP or Yes Scotland – outside BBC Scotland’s headquarters in Glasgow a couple of days later was in fact organised by “a governing party”.
(Robinson also claimed the mob had been 4000-strong, although the BBC’s own report had put the figure at “up to 1000”. The demo was sedate and entirely peaceful – no arrests were made, nobody was hurt and no damage was caused.)
The footage showing that Robinson had lied on air about his encounter with Salmond was captured and published by this website, in a pair of videos which garnered well over 600,000 views on YouTube and one of the most-read posts in Wings history.
When we mentioned that fact earlier today, a reader asked what other posts were in the top 10. So we looked, and noticed that the biggest ones had a common theme.
Social media is alive today with tales of people being refused a vote in the Labour leadership election on the grounds that they don’t support Labour values (if anyone even knows what those are any more). We suspect you’ll be hearing quite a bit about it in the press over the coming days.
The prevailing reaction seems to be slack-jawed astonishment at the planetary-scale car-crash the party has allowed to develop around the issue, with another “coup” story thrown in for good measure in the Telegraph.
We can only think of one way the farce could become even worse.
Not our judgement, you understand, but that of Scottish Labour spokesclown Michael Kelly, former Lord Provost of Glasgow, speaking on today’s Good Morning Scotland:
So there’s definitely going to be a second referendum, the No campaign is going to win it again and a shattered SNP will collapse as a result, sending Labour triumphantly back to Holyrood power. (Having now come out on top in not one but two internal elections, presumably Kezia Dugdale is now also a “proven winner”.)
It’s just that we feel like we’ve heard that before somewhere.
An update, then: as we write, our anti-poverty fundraiser (which set out to gather just £500 for a young woman in Kidderminster fined almost £330 for stealing a 75p pack of Mars bars out of desperate hunger after her benefits were sanctioned) stands at a phenomenal £14,395.
This spoon-faced howler was pointed out mirthfully by vile cybernats days ago, but we suspect that the person at Scottish Labour who knows how to work the internets only comes in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It’s going to be a long road back.
Earlier today Gordon Brown gave a speech in London, on a subject and for reasons which are unclear. It was widely trailed in the press, however, as an intervention in the Labour leadership campaign, with the particular goal of stopping Jeremy Corbyn from winning. It was – naturally – broadcast live and in full by the BBC News channel.
Corbyn wasn’t mentioned by name so far as we noticed, but to tell the truth we drifted in and out of the rambling, 49-minute, 30-page monologue full of celebrity namedrops and unconnected anecdotes, hypnotised as we were by Brown’s relentless pacing up and down the room like a caged animal.
Nobody who isn’t getting paid should have to endure the entire grimness of it, so using the magic of technology we’ve compressed it all down to a mere fraction of its length (just 20%) for you, but without losing any of the tone, content or intellectual nuance.
We offer it to you as an elegy. It marks the day that Labour reanimated the walking corpse of the only person left in the party that it considers to have any gravitas – not to win an election, but to try to crush the first man in living memory to enthuse tens of thousands of new members to join a political party in the hope of restoring the values it was created to uphold.
It is the day the soul of the Labour Party finally died.
Keen followers of First Minister’s Questions will doubtless be excited to witness the weekly jousts, as the dynamic new regime of Kezia Dugdale sweeps out the tired old broom of Labour’s previous FMQs inquisitor, er, Kezia Dugdale.
Curiously, while the BBC was present and broadcasting live at the announcement of the new leader and deputy, neither’s acceptance speech was broadcast on TV, radio or online, which may well have surprised viewers and listeners who’ve become used to 50-minute prime-time Gordon Brown “intervention” specials.
In Dugdale’s case, our best guess is that the BBC didn’t want to have to fact-check it.
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “On the subject of grifts, think twice before signing up for boxing lessons with one of the perhaps 5 new…” Aug 5, 20:52
Southernbystander on Anatomy Of A Grift: “These polycules sound great! How do you apply for a permit? Anyone in?” Aug 5, 20:51
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Every now and again we read of something going on in Scotland that makes patriotic Scots resolved to say “We’re…” Aug 5, 20:04
Nae Need! on Anatomy Of A Grift: “It will get worse – Poppybear has an axe to grind.” Aug 5, 19:54
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “So you’ve been on the receiving end of Alf’s aggressive oppression then, Northy. What was it destroyed yer hoose? A…” Aug 5, 19:42
Nae Need! on The Plague: “Speechless. Raging. Take care of your good self.” Aug 5, 19:38
BLMac on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Maybe if you promise not to put holes where no holes existed before….” Aug 5, 18:51
Bilbo on Anatomy Of A Grift: “I know this is clickbait but it’s not that unbelievable Sturgeon would join the Greens, or as they should be…” Aug 5, 18:43
James on The Plague: “That all you got, ju ju man? Thought so.” Aug 5, 18:25
Hugh Wallace on The Plague: “As a former cop, I echo your WTF? FFS! And I just joined the FSU after months of procrastinating. I…” Aug 5, 18:07
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “😀 Just another thick-as-whale-omelette reality denier, eh Fatso. Well, try as anyone might, you can’t educate pork (literally in your…” Aug 5, 17:45
Lorncal on The Plague: “It is, indeed, plausible, H McH, as the Rev must be a thorn in the side of the authorities whom…” Aug 5, 17:05
Morgatron on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Three of a perfect pair – of Sickos.” Aug 5, 16:59
Chas on Anatomy Of A Grift: “A round of golf can take 14,000/16,000 steps depending on the course played and the ability of the individual and…” Aug 5, 16:58
Lorncal on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Three men living in a ‘polycule’? Or three men in a homosexual threesome? I wouldn’t grudge anyone an op, and…” Aug 5, 16:53
Aidan on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Cue three complaints to Avon and Somerset police . .” Aug 5, 16:49
James on The Plague: “Yeah, yeah, yeah; same old unionist BS from the same old bad actors. “Naw he didnae” is the zenith of…” Aug 5, 16:42
Terry on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Brilliant. Thanks Stu. This nasty polycule of perverts has harassed us women in Aberdeen when we have done stalls and…” Aug 5, 16:40
Cuphook on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Do they live in a charity shop bin? There is a ‘Welcome to Inverurie’ sign before the one in his…” Aug 5, 16:38
Aidan on The Plague: “Okay James – so just to summarise, Scottish independence isn’t classified anywhere as an attempt to overthrow parliamentary democracy, Rishi…” Aug 5, 16:34
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “Who cares what anyone “thinks”, moron (or more accurately, what hyperbole they might have used in one speech). That doesn’t…” Aug 5, 16:00
agentx on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Personally I would stay well clear of the lot of them and not bother even checking what they are up…” Aug 5, 15:57
James on The Plague: “Fuckwit cave dweller; ask some of your Tory chums what they think. You will find your answer there ‘maaate’.” Aug 5, 15:46
Red on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Science fiction story idea – I Have No Dick And I Must Steal” Aug 5, 15:43
Ex President Xiden on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Some SNP election slogans over the years: Yes we can. Win the best for Scotland . 1997 Release our potential.…” Aug 5, 15:42
Ian on Anatomy Of A Grift: “In reference why someone might get a refund from GoFundMe, on their website it states “The GoFundMe organizer may have…” Aug 5, 15:39
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “@Fatso You originally said: “… that Scottish nationalism is classed as an attempt to overthrow ‘parliamentary democracy’ [lol] in the…” Aug 5, 15:28
James on The Plague: “The usual unionist wails “naw it isnae” “naw he didnae”… Black is white, up is down blah blah blah. Did…” Aug 5, 14:58