In what may be a new all-time low for the broadsheet press in Scotland, this morning’s Scottish edition of the Telegraph makes a front-page lead story out of a petition with a pathetic 4500 signatures, put together by some extremist Yoon nutters to express their rage that there might be a peak-time news show actually made in Scotland.
The idea of a so-called “Scottish Six”, whereby the main six o’clock news bulletin would be a single programme made by BBC Scotland and covering Scottish, UK and world news – rather than the current half-hour London-centric UK programme followed by 30 minutes of regional murdur’n’fitba in Reporting Scotland – has been exercising the media (and pretty much nobody else) for the best part of 20 years.
But now it’s become a constitutional battleground, and the funny thing about it is that the two sides are fighting bitterly over something neither of them actually really wants.
Put your hands on your hearts, readers, and tell us that in the event of Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin leading the USA and Russia a year or so from now, you can’t see this actually literally happening. [EDIT: The fight, not nuclear apocalypse. Obviously.]
Look us straight in the eye and tell us there’s a 0% chance.
Newspaper sales figures in Scotland now come out in a patchy and unco-ordinated sort of way, with different frequencies and at different times of year, so we thought it’d be worth collecting them together for easy reference.
The numbers below are the most recent figures for each title that we know of – for papers classed as “national” that means November last year, and for those counted as “regional” (which includes the Scotsman and Herald titles) it’s this month.
Figures have all been rounded to the nearest 100, and increase/decrease stats refer in all cases to the corresponding sales for one year previously.
So just to clear that up: four times £12 million is £200 million. The mystery of why people are increasingly reluctant to believe what they read in newspapers continues.
So after all the kerfuffle and commotion and comedy, a deal was done, of sorts. The unsquareable circle wasn’t squared, but the day of facing up to it was punted down the line for five years, by which point everyone hopes that it’ll be someone else’s problem. (Which is certainly the case for David Cameron.)
Every newspaper in Scotland tomorrow will look like this:
It’s quite incredible that someone with Jim Sillars’ political experience should be so naive about the tactics surrounding the EU referendum. Regardless of your feelings on the EU itself, there’s absolutely no point in any supporter of Scottish independence voting Leave this June, and here’s why.
Alert readers can’t have failed to notice a desperate Scottish Labour dusting off the old “Tartan Tories” attack on the SNP recently, over the Nats’ unwillingness to join in with Kezia Dugdale’s kerrazy kaper of hiking up income tax.
So after today we can only assume they’ll be looking for some similarly pithy zingers for their colleagues in Wales. They can have this one for free.
Willie on In The Eyes Of The Law: “That Northcode is why we want a Judicial Review. It is as you say a precise legal tool. It will…” Oct 3, 12:56
Alf Baird on In The Eyes Of The Law: ““It is an outrage that £700k can be solicited” Small beer when we consider that ScotGov civil servants and its…” Oct 3, 12:54
Andrew Morton on The Final Betrayal: “As porridge is one of the most disgusting foods on earth it’s no hardship to give it up. It’s akin…” Oct 3, 11:43
Northcode on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Judicial review is often misunderstood and I think it’s important that folk understand what it can actually do so they…” Oct 3, 10:27
sam on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Bullshit from you. As usual you never check anything, you just say whatever shit comes into the brain cell. This…” Oct 3, 09:47
Hatey McHateface on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Sure, Alf. It’s not enough just to be independent. Year Zero has to be enacted too. Mass re-education for those…” Oct 3, 08:41
Colin Alexander on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Roddy Dunlop KC is very highly respected for his legal acumen, intellect and professional integrity. So, if Roddy Dunlop KC…” Oct 3, 08:29
James on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Tried to depose German Geordie and replace him with the rightful heir to the throne. There, fixed that for ye.…” Oct 3, 00:02
willie on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Great support for this absolutely essential court action. It is an outrage that £700k can be solicited to be ring…” Oct 2, 22:58
Frank Gillougley on In The Eyes Of The Law: “50 in with pleasure and appreciation.” Oct 2, 21:11
Alf Baird on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Yes Hatey, dealing effectively with the colonial ‘condition’ requires difficult treatment; liberation is the only remedy and takes effect through…” Oct 2, 20:38
Hatey McHateface on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Sell some of your tea towels and you could donate more.” Oct 2, 20:07
Hatey McHateface on In The Eyes Of The Law: “How come you’re immune to the pathology then, Alf? The vaccinations aren’t available on the SNHS. Did you pay to…” Oct 2, 19:50
Alf Baird on In The Eyes Of The Law: ““Those of us with an open, questioning and independent mind” That’s perhaps a rather theoretical assumption, Spartan, especially for a…” Oct 2, 18:50
Hatey McHateface on In The Eyes Of The Law: “BS, sam. 1715 and 1745 were dynastic and sectarian uprisings. Attempts to depose the Protestant Hanoverian royal line and replace…” Oct 2, 18:50
sam on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Not so sure about this claim, Alf. There were many armed uprisings in colonial Ireland against English rule. The 1715…” Oct 2, 17:21
Dave on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Wow, the fund is filling up fast, excellent news! I, for one, cannot wait to see the miscreants sweating on…” Oct 2, 17:18
agentx on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Why it is considered secure • Direct Lawyer Payouts: Funds do not go to the individual starting the page. Money…” Oct 2, 17:16
Spartan 117 on In The Eyes Of The Law: “@Alf – No, those of us who learn read the theory then use it to put it into practice and…” Oct 2, 16:54
James on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Keep ’em coming, ‘Confused’. Larry, curly and Moe bite every time. Speaking of stooges I wonder when the fragrant ‘Adrian’…” Oct 2, 16:53
Captain Caveman on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Who had Freire on their Bingo card?” Oct 2, 16:39
Spartan 117 on In The Eyes Of The Law: “I’m assuming “sparky” refers to “Spartan”, if I can read correctly through your blurry alcohol-fuelled stupor, 8 Ace. “tell (sic…” Oct 2, 16:30
Alf Baird on In The Eyes Of The Law: ““uses the quotes of others” This is nothing new for academics who logically base their research first on the available…” Oct 2, 16:17
Captain Caveman on In The Eyes Of The Law: “You are right Confused! Your unhinged idiocy is truly legendary., even here. Very conversation-worthy, personally I find it incredible. Always…” Oct 2, 16:04
sarah on In The Eyes Of The Law: “@ douglas – you can reduce the tip, even to zero.” Oct 2, 16:01
douglas on In The Eyes Of The Law: “happy to contribute, not happy with crowdjustice. Imposing an extra 20% and calling it a tip is taking the p.…” Oct 2, 15:44
lothianlad on The Turning Point: “The SNP leadership have actively working FOR the british state. Sturgeon is the greatest traitor to Scotland in the modern…” Oct 2, 15:22
lothianlad on In The Eyes Of The Law: “Well done Stu! They are rattled! Only those with integrity should be allowed power.” Oct 2, 15:20
Confused on In The Eyes Of The Law: “The only thing worse than being talked about, is NOT being talked about … I seem to have the WORST…” Oct 2, 15:13